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New Pope Selected

Freshly Exhumed sends this quote from CBC: "Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina has been selected as Pope of the world's 1.2 billion Catholics. He will be known as Pope Francis. He is the first Pope from the Americas. The 76-year-old was the runner-up to Benedict XVI during the last conclave. He is well-known for his humility and espouses church teachings on homosexuality, abortion and contraception. He has no Vatican experience."

33 of 915 comments (clear)

  1. oh cool.. by kuk_Bone · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Goes back to work"

    1. Re:oh cool.. by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 5, Funny

      If the new Pope is not made of chocolate, and filled with marzipan, then I'm not interested.

      Unless he has a jet pack. Or a robot named "Muad'Dib".

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    2. Re:oh cool.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      well I never saw that comming , All i head was they had elected the hand of God from Argentina.

      But seriously Pope Diego Maradonna the first??

    3. Re:oh cool.. by Valgar · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, dummy, RTFS. Pope Francis.

      Settle down, Francis.

    4. Re:oh cool.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Each time a non-tech news reach ./ , someone whine that is not "news for nerds". Today it is you! Congratulation your medal is in the mail.

    5. Re:oh cool.. by Sloppy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Don't understate the importance of this. I heard the new pope uses emacs instead of vim (because "my fingers learned that one on the dvorak keyboards in the seminary"). And yet, he prefers python3 over scheme. Runs it all on Mac OS 10.4 and won't upgrade to 10.8, because

      1. he can't get his Zune to sync with later-than-10.4 anyway
      2. Driver issues with his Piledriver-APU-based Hackintosh
      3. 10.4 reminds him slightly more of his old Atari ST (and I quote: "fuck you Amigoids, yuor all going to hell 4ever!!!11")
      4. invisible scrollbars and a wrong default scroll wheel direction, are an abomination before The Lord

      I don't care if you don't see any geeky controversy here; the python3 thing is important. The new pope is saying fallible things on the Internet!

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    6. Re:oh cool.. by Stormy+Dragon · · Score: 5, Funny

      It's getting the same coverage that a casting change in Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or any other long running fantasy series would get.

    7. Re:oh cool.. by KingSkippus · · Score: 4, Funny

      I was really hoping that he would call himself Pope Awesome. A little marketing never hurt. If I were Pope, I'd have to go with either taking the name Mobile, or possibly Oree.

  2. News for nerds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    What is his favorite distro? views on FOSS?

    1. Re:News for nerds? by Guppy06 · · Score: 4, Funny

      With all the forks, how could FOSS be more Protestant?

      The Mother Church clearly prefers a strictly Microsoft shop.

    2. Re:News for nerds? by Sepultura · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is Emacs.

    3. Re:News for nerds? by macromorgan · · Score: 5, Funny

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is Emacs.

      He's religious and intolerant, so obviously his favorite OS is . . .

      . . . the Spanish Inquisition . . . !

      Honestly, I didn't expect it.

  3. lent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    First time ive heard that the old pope gave up being the pope for lent. Wonder what the new guy has up his sleeve!

    1. Re:lent by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 4, Funny

      KY jelly.

  4. Don't Blame Me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't blame me, I voted for Father Guido Sarducci. Screw the rest of the conclave.

  5. So what religion does he belong to? by Marrow · · Score: 5, Funny

    linux, mac, vi, or emacs? :)

    1. Re:So what religion does he belong to? by j00r0m4nc3r · · Score: 5, Funny

      Eunuchs

  6. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by operagost · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, he's more like "Jorge the Argentinian".

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  7. Re:So.... by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 5, Funny

    So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

    The World will continue to change, but the Catholic Church will not be leading those changes. Here is a car analogy: If the World was a car driving down the freeway of life, the Catholic Church would be a parking brake that was not fully disengaged, thus impeding progress slightly and emitting a bad smell.

  8. Re:So.... by bluefoxlucid · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's kind of the point of religion. It's not supposed to be very dynamic. It's supposed to be a set of guiding morals, for example Buddhism's guiding moral of "Don't Be A Giant Dickhead." This hasn't changed to "It's Okay To Be A Giant Dickhead When It Makes You Feel Better" or "Be A Giant Dickhead, But Only To Politicians And Wall Street Bankers." Now times are changing and it's probably not really terrible to be a giant dickhead to Wall Street bankers, but eh. That's not what Buddhism is about.

  9. No word yet on papal shitting location. by gestalt_n_pepper · · Score: 4, Funny

    The woods, however, are still the traditional choice.

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  10. Oh well. by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Better luck next time Richard Stallman.

  11. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 4, Funny

    The church must have petered out.

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  12. In related news ... by PPH · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... still only black smoke from the US Congressional budget committees.

    --
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  13. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by Cro+Magnon · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, there have been a lot of peter problems in the church.

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  14. Re:So.... by game+kid · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's supposed to be a set of guiding morals, for example Buddhism's guiding moral of "Don't Be A Giant Dickhead."

    That's funny, I always thought Buddha taught and followed the Noble Eightinch Path.

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  15. Re:So.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    So nothing important is going to change then? Or am i misreading that?

    The World will continue to change, but the Catholic Church will not be leading those changes. Here is a car analogy: If the World was a car driving down the freeway of life, the Catholic Church would be a parking brake that was not fully disengaged, thus impeding progress slightly and emitting a bad smell.

    To continue the car analogy and to point out the differences, while the Catholic Church may be wearing the parking brake out, the evangelical Christians are trying to throw the car in reverse. And all while they are in a fist fight with the Muslim fundamentalists (who are also looking for reverse) over who's hand will be on the shift lever. Meanwhile, the Quakers are pointing out that one should use the clutch when shifting gears and the Pastafarians are looking for a different car in which to ride.

  16. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by anagama · · Score: 4, Funny

    warning, NSFW for most workplaces, but an amusing Tim Minchin song about the pope:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTIorwtJbhE

    --
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  17. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 4, Funny

    Im not sure its entirely accurate to call Peter the "first pope". The office as such did not exist, and the specific role of "pope" was never acknowledged by Peter or anyone else at that time.

    Well, there was this one guy (hint: his initials were J.C.) who said: "I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church ..."

    This was a pun because "Peter" means "rock" (JC was a funny guy). So if we followed biblical precedent, the next pope should have been ... Dwayne Johnson.

  18. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by ebno-10db · · Score: 5, Funny

    or of that role being hereditary

    That's something the papacy has generally avoided.

  19. Re:Humility? by femtobyte · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yes, you are condemning others. Yes, I am condemning you for that. I operate from a moral framework with more than a single axis of "condemnation=bad, anticondemnation=good," rather considering the whole network of impacts from who and/or what is being condemned (btw, I am a Christian).

    I would not support you in repealing all government granted benefits of marriage, because that would be "throwing the baby out with the bathwater" --- I think there are great societal benefits to government-recognized marriage, but none that specifically require a male+female couple. Likewise, I do not think it would have been a good idea to fix Jim Crow era discriminatory voting laws by revoking everyone's right to vote.

  20. Re:76? by Shadowmist · · Score: 3, Funny

    When Benedict was selected, it was said that an older pope was chosen deliberately so that it wouldn't be a long reign like that of John Paul. Then again no one actually expected that we'd actually have another Papal resignation after only 600 years from the last one.

  21. Re:OMG the Last Pope EVAR!!!!!!!1 by SteveFoerster · · Score: 5, Funny

    I heard this guy is the logical choice, since who better than an Argentinian to offer sanctuary to a German with human rights abuse issues?

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