Say What? Wading Through the Nonsense In Microsoft's Re-Org Memo

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Saturday July 13, 2013 @07:15AM from the spend-more-time-with-family dept.

curtwoodward writes "Steve Ballmer's attempt to reorganize Microsoft into a more focused company will define his legacy as CEO. So you'd think the wordsmiths in Redmond would take a little time ensuring their message was crystal-clear, right? Not exactly. Ballmer's big, gung-ho memo to Microsofties, posted on the company's website, is chock full of nonsense and corporate executive doublespeak — or, as Ballmer might say, `high-value experiences' that will `involve repartitioning the work' and `drive partners across our integrated strategy and its execution.' Huh?" Honest language in corporate communications is a rare quality. I suspect there's a special language-butchering training course that most C-level executives enthusiastically complete.

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They are now generating memos entirely with this by flarb936 · 2013-07-13 07:18 · Score: 5, Funny

http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html Easy, no need to hire copywriters anymore.

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ralphbarbagallo.com
Take It Back by Anonymous Coward · 2013-07-13 07:23 · Score: 5, Funny

Ballmer will make you want to take back those nasty things you said about Bill Gates in the late '90s.
1. Re:Take It Back by binarylarry · 2013-07-13 07:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  What people don't know is that Ballmer is a secret Linux FOSS champion. In reality, he's actually Richard Stallman's secret half brother and together they're going to bring down the largest proprietary software company in the world.
  
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  Mod me down, my New Earth Global Warmingist friends!
2. Re:Take It Back by chromas · 2013-07-13 08:52 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Actually, all three are played by Fred Savage.
Ballmer at Tanagra? by A10Mechanic · 2013-07-13 08:17 · Score: 5, Funny

Shaka. When the walls fell.