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New Drug Mimics the Beneficial Effects of Exercise
Zothecula writes "A drug known as SR9009, which is currently under development at The Scripps Research Institute, increases the level of metabolic activity in skeletal muscles of mice. Treated mice become lean, develop larger muscles and can run much longer distances simply by taking SR9009, which mimics the effects of aerobic exercise. If similar effects can be obtained in people, the reversal of obesity, metabolic syndrome, and perhaps Type-II diabetes might be the very welcome result."
Soon, there will be two kinds of nerds: Those on SR9009 and those they beat up.
When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
XtremeShred, Fatbusterone, Buffadrine2000. Additionally they should only market it using annoying popup ads and late night television.
Or you know, people could just go outside for a walk.
I'd rather do a few hours of overtime every week ... so I can afford to buy pills and avoid all that WORK.
I will probably work great... except for the anal leakage.
Proverbs 21:19
That way I can work on my 6-pack
How about if I just change my facebook profile picture?
It would have the same beneficial effects of SR9009 plus the laundry would always be done.
..And I hear ARod is already being investigated for it.
I think "getting laid" will be in there somewhere so I welcome the extra eyeball or two...
I guess that money I shelled out for an exercise bike to slouch on while I watch Food Network shows was wasted, huh?
Turn your exercise bike to face away from the TV, turn on Fox and Friends and pretend they're chasing you. Those extra pounds will come off in no time. :-)
[ Ahhhhh... Steve Doocy is right behind me .... Must... peddle... faster... ]
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
Screw the side effects. Add it to the water supply.
Or, depending on your politics, try MSNBC: "Rachel Maddow is after me! Peddle for your life!"
I am officially gone from
Do you get to choose the gender(s) of the person(people) you get laid with (by)? Or do you not really care?
I'm not gay, but it's nice to get a little attention every now and then.
More Twoson than Cupertino
A drug that tricks the body to respond as if it has been exercising will work on all muscles. Real exercise only works on the muscles that you use. Overuse of this drug would be expected to cause muscle growth where you don't want it. Bulk up those facial muscles.
Why yes I would like to lift a car by wiggling my ear.
More Twoson than Cupertino
Yes, it's terrible to think that professional sports players should actually be rewarded for training and talent rather than drugs.
I'm so sick of people lecturing me about how bad steroids are, so why don't you SHUT UP! I've got half a mind to come over there and RIP YOUR HEAD OFF just for saying that! What? You gonna look at me like that? THAT'S IT!
Not being a "Fat Ass" myself, I personally think everyone who goes around verbally abusing obese people is a pindick.
But then, not being a puny pindick myself, I actually make friends, some of which are in fact obese, so I can see how a stupid pindick would be limited by their own assinine personality and never get the same perspective I have had,
Someone had to do it.
I, for one, might actually tune in if genetic engineering can bring us horrible, superhuman, freak-athletes.
"Fucking fatass" is meant as an incentive to stop making excuses and become fit and healthy. The speaker really wants you to succeed in living a long, slim and successful life you fucking fatass.