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Charles Carreon Finally Surrenders To the Oatmeal
First time accepted submitter Guy From V writes "Charles Carreon, zany lawyer and poster-child for the Streisand Effect (sorry Babs) for his lawsuit against The Oatmeal creator Mattew Innman last year in his original role as legal counsel for Funnyjunk, as reported by ArsTechnica, seems to have finally called it quits. In other news, the River Styx has reportedly dropped below 32 degrees Fahrenheit."
I will sue anyone who mocks me in this thread! - CC
Hopefully it involves Sriracha, bears, and blasphemous sexual positions.
Here's to hot beer, cold women, and Glaswegian kisses for all.
That's too bad. It was very entertaining to watch Mr. Carreon find new and innovative ways to dig his hole deeper and deeper.
What doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable
Despite being the one who got the ball rolling with the vexatious litigation and absurd threats in the first place, he appears to have learned absolutely nothing from the experience, blaming his failure on the fact that he doesn't have sufficient 'legal remedy' against people calling his idiocy idiotic online, and even manages to drop in a self-pitying line about how lawsuits are just occupying too much of his time.
Guy is so dense and immutable that he could probably be sliced into thin layers and used as armor plate.
(And, since he is a master of good taste and his wife is even crazier, they've given the world http://rapeutation.com/ complete with caricatures (and the guy complains that there aren't enough laws against saying mean things on the internet?) of their enemies. Class act guys, class act.)
The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself!"
Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked 'em up.
We do!
W..w..W - Willy Waterloo washes Warren Wiggins who is washing Waldo Woo.
Just because it looks kinda dumb on the surface doesn't mean it's not a hugely successful enterprise run by a millionaire businessman who doesn't like being pushed around.
The Forbes site linked to in TFS is quite funny. There's a hilarious article on why insider trading is a good thing. In some ways it out-onions the onion.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
OK, that's 273.15 Kelvin. Feel better?
So the problem is not that he was attempting to bring a lawsuit that was clearly without merit in order to harass an innocent comedian, but that the internet mob can't be reasoned with or controlled?
I agree it can't be controlled, and he's a pretty stupid guy for not realizing that going in. But maybe he should also admit (at least to himself) that he's a horrible piece of shit that hates free speech.
Shit, talk about a run-on, convoluted sentence..
Charles Carreon, zany lawyer and poster-child for the Streisand Effect (sorry Babs) for his lawsuit against The Oatmeal creator Mattew Innman last year in his original role as legal counsel for Funnyjunk, as reported by ArsTechnica, seems to have finally called it quits.
Harrison's Postulate - "For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism"
“So when you take a situation in which the legal rules don’t impose any effective sanctions on people for that kind of behavior, mob behavior on the Internet, then a legal analyst like myself should look at that situation and say: ‘You can’t fix everything that’s broken,’” he said. “There is not a proper legal remedy for it. I attempted to do something and I made it worse.”
Well, when the man's right, the man's right. You truly can't fix everything that's broken.
We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
Read a bit of his website. That is not going to happen. Here's a chunk of it.
Pay particular attention to that last sentence. And he put that up on his own web page. He thinks that that is reasonable.
Use Rankine you dolt. Kelvin is almost Celsius.
John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
Anyone else notice his odd use of language and use of unusual words?
Reminded me of Homer Simpson when he got the subliminal vocab-builder instead of weight loss tape.
Had to start googling a little on those. "Soluable," I thought only meant capable of being dissolved, but apparently is a real synonym for "solvable," and not a malaprop, dating back to the 15th century. But "rapeutated"? First page of google hits are stories about Carreon himself. The second was TFA, and the fifth was this very story!. Does it mean his reputation was raped? I guess so, but I don't really want to read his feculent drivel to find out.
"Remediable? Erudite, Aplomb" Okay, whatever. They're real, but why? He seems to be in love with^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B^B enamored of fifty-cent words.
I am not a crackpot.
And they're wrong to think that? Care to explain why?
Really? Are you serious?
Makes more sense if you can mentally impose a bass and bongo line in the background while he's reading.it.out loud to...the court. The guy is just a closeted Beat poet.
Charles Carreon. You're a fucking asshole.
I am becoming gerund, destroyer of verbs.
I read it, and I can't tell if the guys's a clown, an idiot, or both.
Fuck systemd. Fuck Redhat. Fuck Soylent, too. Wait, scratch the last one.
You need legal representation. You can not represent yourself. Your two options are Charles Carreon and Jack Thompson. Who do you choose?
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am master of my fate and captain of my soul.
23.538 meV. Boltzmann's constant should be unity.
This doesn't make any sense. Why shouldn't he feel good about overcoming this bullshit legal challenge? And how does that make him a tool?
I believe I can translate and make for a shorter read at the same time:
Haw HEhawwwwwwwwww, He HAWWWwwwwwwww.
Fair enough.
' Every man for himself ' is the central message of Therevada Buddhism!
... and God against all!
(See Werner Herzog's film, Jeder für sich und Gott gegen alle . More details at Wikipedia: 1, 2. Ah, the boisterous joy of German cinema...)
Cheers,
"What in the name of Fats Waller is that?"
"A four-foot prune."
it is not unwonted for a nabob such as he to attempt to appear erudite and loquacious by using obnubilative and superannuated terminology. That darned popinjay!.
OK, that's 273.15 Kelvin. Feel better?
My home town nearly went to zero Kevins back in 1978.
It was a particularly cold winter, and we were already down to 3 Kevins (due to their low popularity at the time).
Kevin Thomas had flown out to be with his son's family for a wedding and got stuck in Boston for a whole week due to the weather. 2 Kevins left.
Kevin Lemmer was rushed to the hospital during my shift. I still remember the call from the EMTs as the ambulance was rushing toward us. "It's Lemmer. He's in bad shape. Drove right into the fucking ditch." We called the time of death at 6:15 PM.
At 6:16, all eyes turned to room 2217. Kevin Spencer was 82 and on his death bed with leukemia. His family being Catholic, he had already been given his last rites. If he couldn't hold out until Kevin Thomas returned, we would be at zero Kevins. Sure, we had 4 perfectly healthy Calvins, but they're just not the same.
It was 7:15 when Carla Brooks and her husband James burst through the main entrance. "She's not due for 2 weeks!", James exclaimed. As the staff bustled around getting the Brookses settled, they exchanged darting glances with each other. This was their first child, and they wanted to keep the baby's sex a secret. Of course, in a small town, secrets don't get kept. Nearly all of the hospital staff new that the child about to rip open Mrs. Brooks was indeed a boy.
The delivery was routine, and Kevin Brooks was born healthy, if a tad underweight, at 10:52 PM. Kevin Spencer was pronounced dead at 10:54.
It was, as they say, a close one. Kevin Thomas arrived two days later, the weather having finally cleared up. To this day, we still rib him about it.
Cedar Falls is currently at 5 Kevins.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Comment removed based on user account deletion
That's my problem with Kelvin. Why not make it its own scale, tied to something other than the phase-change of water?
If you think I voted for Trump because of this post, you're wrong. I voted for Dr. Jill Stein of the Green Party. Again.
Wilford Brimley is pleased, and hopes he won't get diabeetus.
But what's that in Rankine?
Learn to love Alaska
This isn't mob justice, this is just the equivalent of getting a bunch of bad reviews on yelp. What a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense!
What this man did wasn't just stupid, it was also immoral. He's apologized for being stupid, and promised to learn from his mistakes, but he makes no apology for is immoral actions. That being the case, the bad reviews should stand.
It's not mob justice, it's just the truth coming out about this asshole. I have no sympathy for him, since he has not seen the error of his ways, nor should anyone else defend his antisocial behavior or claim that the treatment he has received as a result of it has been inappropriate or unfair.
Green Card Lawyers and what happened after their postings to various Usenet groups. The only difference is the size of the mob.
I'm a consultant - I convert gibberish into cash-flow.
Monolithic are for kernel in computer, and megalithe for archelogy. Every time I hear somebody giving a generalized explanation about *any* ideology as if it was a monolithe, be it christianism or atheism, budhism or islam, communism or capitalism, repucrate or demoblican, that person is almost certainly spouting myopic non sense and can probably be dismissed outright.
C. Sagan : A demon haunted world:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345409469/
visit randi.org
"Oh dear, do my locutions confuse?"
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
You are a genius. I thought I should tell you that.
What doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable
And of course, he's such a classy guy that his "surrender" communication basically drew an equivalence between "people said bad things about me on the internet" and "rape". What a charming fellow he must be!
Of course he had to make a rape joke when talking about this, because he's that kind of loser, but it's not even correct. Anything that happened to him here was self-inflicted.
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
The poker rule says that when you sit down at the table, you look for the sucker. If you can't find them, it's probably you.*
If Carreon's a con man, he's spectacularly bad at it, failed the poker rule from the beginning, and deserves any education he's gotten, which unfortunately seems to be "not much".
(* The Questionable Content version of the sucker rule is to look for the drunkest person at the party, and if you can't tell, it's you, and you should stop for now.)
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Some liar (read: "lawyer") went full-retard and tried to sue the internet, and now he's butthurt that the entire 'net knows he's an idiot? And he feels like someone just ran over his dog because people are running away from him, just in case the stupid is catching?
Ha.
Haha.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
*gasp*
Oh teh irony is killing me!
Life, ultimately, boils down to the Four Fs: Fighting, Fleeing, Feeding, and Mating.
Two.
world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
And Celsius is easily the most [i]pointless[/i] of all the so-called metric scales. In fact, there's almost nothing metric about Celsius at all, save for some magical property that happens at 100 C (which, incidentally, isn't what the Celsius scale is currently tied to).
People who say "sheeple" have about as much sophistication as an AOL user, and in fact are probably actually AOL users.
Gah! Markup fail!
People who say "sheeple" have about as much sophistication as an AOL user, and in fact are probably actually AOL users.
I have at least two tweeters claiming to be me, slinging shit at people, offending people in my name. Twitter took altogether too long to get rid of them — a day or so. I send demands to preserve evidence to Twitter. This provokes speculation about whether I’ll sue Tweeters, as I’ve reserved spaces for them as “Doe defendants” in the Inman lawsuit, in my claim for the new tort of the era, the DIRA. If the courts recognized this tort, it would give grounds for a civil claim against those who make active netwar against other Netizens.
[...]
Contemplating today the IRL (in real life) effects of a DIRA [Distributed Internet Reputation Attack]. As I am a pretty quiet person working out of a home office, I have few people who see me on a regular basis. But I shop at Trader Joe’s where I am a well-known face, and you really get to know the people. I even have one actual friend on staff there. I was lined up with my online image and instantly indicted as an asshole by this one Trader Joe’s employee, who until then, had been quite nice to me. Now, he was literally giving me the hairy eyeball. Well eventually my friend got him straightened out with better information and now we are friends again, but for a while there it was touch and go. So that was weird, actually, very weird.
Then there was the unbelievable slam at me in the print and online editions of the Tucson Weekly, taken by some bonehead named Dan Gibson who hadn’t even bothered to call me up. I called him up and said we should get together for a drink and talk so he could know the person he was writing about. He agreed to, then bowed out last-minute saying he had a job interview because he was being paid terribly at Tucson Weekly.
[...]
Being the object of hatred in a DIRA is going to put your family members in an unfriendly spotlight, especially if they have active social media profiles. ust as celebrity/VIP status has a halo effect that suffuses those in the entourage with cachet drawn from the main celebrity, so your kids will be negatively viewed by many social media zombies. They will be forced to defend themselves in supernasty online exchanges with people who hate “YOUR NAME HERE”– that guy who does so many bad things. They essentially reply, “Who are you to talk, and why do you care? You don’t even know my Dad. He’s the coolest fuckin’ Dad that ever fuckin’ walked the earth, you piece of shit. You would be lucky to beg a dollar from him, and he would give you a twenty, you idiot. If you were in trouble, he’s probably the only lawyer who would even care about a fool like you.” [...]
[...]
Maria, the elder daughter, is a very smart woman, and for a while did a lot of whip-smart tweeting. When the DIRA record blew in, one zombie tweeter in particular went absolutely psycho on her, and Maria responded effectively, which of course just caused the zombie to go into hyperdrive with her invective. When Maria sees that the psycho-tweeter is deleting her own most-inflammatory tweets, she screencaps all that remain. Indeed, it’s the beginning of IRL effects for Maria. The psycho-tweeter is threatening to contact Maria’s boss and accuse her of unprofessional use of Twitter. Daddy didn’t raise no fools, so Maria moves first, visiting the HR office with printouts in hand, to get her story in ahead of the zombie attack.
Maria’s HR manager asks a few questions, looks at the psycho-tweeter’s off-the-wall tweets, and says to Maria, as if she’d have nothing to fear from a complaint by su