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Thieves Who Stole Cobalt-60 Will Soon Be Dead

Hugh Pickens DOT Com writes "The Washington Post reports that the carjackers who set off international alarm bells by absconding with a truckload of highly radioactive cobalt-60, used in hospital radiotherapy machines, most likely had no idea what they were stealing and will die soon from exposure. The robbery occurred as the cobalt-60 was being driven from a public hospital in the border town of Tijuana to a storage facility in central Mexico. While waiting for daybreak at a gas station in the state of Hidalgo the drivers were jumped by two gunmen who beat them and stole the truck. "I believe, definitely, that the thieves did not know what they had; they were interested in the crane, in the vehicle," says Mardonio Jimenez, a physicist with Mexico's nuclear safety commission. The prospect that material that could be used in a radioactive dirty bomb had gone missing sparked an urgent two-day hunt that concluded when the material, cobalt-60, used in hospital radiotherapy machines, was found along with the stolen Volkswagen truck. The cobalt-60 was found, removed from its casing, in a rural area near the town of Hueypoxtla about 25 miles from where the truck was stolen. Jimenez suspects that curiosity got the better of the thieves and they opened the box. So far the carjackers have not been arrested, but authorities expect they will not live long. "The people who handled it will have severe problems with radiation. They will, without a doubt, die.""

33 of 923 comments (clear)

  1. They will, without a doubt, die... by Spy+Handler · · Score: 5, Funny

    or gain superpowers.

    1. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by Joe_Dragon · · Score: 4, Funny

      and be the syfy movie of the week.

    2. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by rossdee · · Score: 4, Funny

      Now that is a fate worse than death

    3. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by alexander_686 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Probably not. Radioactive is a necessary but not sufficient cause for superpowers.

      You are going to need to combine that with spiders, toxic chemicals, a DNA X-factor, experimental drugs, or something else to kick off the process.

    4. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by JudgeFurious · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's already happened. This was rural Mexico for crying out loud. The odds that they weren't bit by a snake, spider, or donkey are miniscule at best. I'm betting on them being pricked by an Agave cactus. I want to see a superhero (or supervillain, I'm not picky) who attacks by peeing a stream of radioactive tequila and dresses like the Frito Bandito.

      --
      Appended to the end of comments you post. 120 chars.
    5. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by Yeechang+Lee · · Score: 5, Funny

      and be the syfy movie of the week.

      Unlikely. Syfy prefers animals as the villains of its Saturday-night original movies, not people.

      Now, if it turns out that a shark or octopus (or, even better, both) stole the cobalt-60, then you'l have the network's attention. Expect Sharktopus II: Nuclear Boogaloo any week now.

    6. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by zarthrag · · Score: 5, Funny
      --
      Why can't all fpga/microcontroller manufacturers just release free optimizing compilers???
    7. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by RCGodward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Dude, don't make him mad.

    8. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by jason.sweet · · Score: 4, Funny

      Film continuity doesn't apply to the real continuity.

      Do you mean the real continuity described in the excellent historical references published by Marvel Comics?

    9. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by Vitriol+Angst · · Score: 3, Funny

      I saw "Sharknado" on SyFy. That isn't just jumping the shark on SyFy the shark jumps you!

      So once you are hit by a tornado with teeth, a mere hybrid Sharktopus is kind of tame in comparison.

      --
      >>"ad space available -- low rates!!!"
    10. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by jd2112 · · Score: 3, Funny

      and be the syfy movie of the week.

      Unlikely. Syfy prefers animals as the villains of its Saturday-night original movies, not people.

      Now, if it turns out that a shark or octopus (or, even better, both) stole the cobalt-60, then you'l have the network's attention. Expect Sharktopus II: Nuclear Boogaloo any week now.

      "Atomic Sharktopusnado" Anyone?

      --
      Any insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
    11. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by GrumpySteen · · Score: 5, Funny

      Expect Sharktopus II: Nuclear Boogaloo any week now

      The second and third Sharktopus movies are already in the works, so this one would be Sharktopus IV: A Nuclear Hope.

    12. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by freeze128 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I always preferred "El Kabong!"

    13. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by Darinbob · · Score: 5, Funny

      Cobaltacabra!

    14. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by budgenator · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well if you consider projectile vomiting and diarhea a superpower.

      --
      Apocalypse Cancelled, Sorry, No Ticket Refunds
    15. Re:They will, without a doubt, die... by The+Grim+Reefer · · Score: 3, Funny

      the Hulk begs to differ

      The Hulk doesn't beg. "Hulk smash"

  2. Evolution in action.... by chalsall · · Score: 3, Funny

    Title says it all.

  3. radioactive markings by Danathar · · Score: 5, Funny

    On my lunch bag when I put it in the fridge at work I put

    "Strontium-90 - RADIOACTIVE" on one side

    The other I put

    "LIVE SPECIMEN - BIOHAZZARD"

    1. Re:radioactive markings by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 5, Funny

      So you had Hot Pockets for lunch?

    2. Re:radioactive markings by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Way to make sure all your colleagues know what a dork you are...

    3. Re:radioactive markings by Nidi62 · · Score: 3, Funny

      "Strontium-90 - RADIOACTIVE"

      "LIVE SPECIMEN - BIOHAZZARD"

      The hell kind of deli do you shop at?

      --
      The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
    4. Re:radioactive markings by mrchaotica · · Score: 3, Funny

      Both sides would have been stolen equally, since they would have been attached to each other.

      --

      "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  4. Darwin by ableeker · · Score: 5, Funny

    I nominate these guys for the Darwin award!

  5. What was the make and model of the get away car? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    By any chance was it a 1964 Chevy Malibu?

  6. Re:OK. This is it. Making stencils right now. by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 4, Funny

    You will be a hit with the TSA.

  7. Re:"They will, without a doubt, die." by oodaloop · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's too bad they found that cobalt. If not, they would have lived forever!

    --
    Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
  8. Re:Tough luck.. by rwise2112 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I believe in karma, which is why, when I do something bad to people, I assume they deserve it.

    --

    "For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert"
  9. Re: Tough luck.. by wo1verin3 · · Score: 4, Funny

    There is no way Jesus said that, my gardener can barely speak two words of English.

  10. Re: Good to see Justice Prevails by wo1verin3 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Shhhhh, here have a bowl.

  11. Re:What was the make and model of the get away car by hAckz0r · · Score: 3, Funny
    No, I think it was a DeLorean DMC-12. No idea why they needed all that radioactive stuff.

    Seen leaving the scene of the crime here: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bI0WbLHBXyY/Tix4ZFMCZ_I/AAAAAAABoSM/1YqK064jHsY/s640/back+to+the+future+whitewalls.jpg
    and I think they need to get their engine checked.

  12. Theiving Rule #341 by BenSchuarmer · · Score: 5, Funny

    If the loot starts to glow, just say "No"

  13. Re:Tough luck.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, that explains many of your posts.

  14. Re:Tough luck.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    How many cranes did you steal to feed your family?

    Usually about one each week, which is how long the meat would last before going bad.

    They're slender birds so you'd might not think that one could last a family of four (myself, my mother, and my two sisters) that long, but in desperate situations people learn to make do.