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The Upcoming Windows 8.1 Apocalypse

arglebargle_xiv (2212710) writes "As most people will have heard, Microsoft will end support for anyone who hasn't upgraded to Win8.1 Update 1 on May 8. What fewer people have heard is that large numbers of users can't install the 8.1 Update, with over a thousand messages in this one thread alone, and that's for tech geeks rather than home users who won't find out about this until their PC becomes orphaned on May 8. Check your Windows Update log, if you've got a "Failed" entry next to KB2919355 then your PC will also become orphaned after May 8."

56 of 293 comments (clear)

  1. Lamepocalypse by Baby+Duck · · Score: 5, Insightful

    As far as apocalypses go, that's one lame-sounding apocalypse.

    --

    "Love heals scars love left." -- Henry Rollins

    1. Re:Lamepocalypse by shadowrat · · Score: 5, Funny

      As far as apocalypses go, that's one lame-sounding apocalypse.

      how many heads were on that beast in revelations? about 8.1?

    2. Re:Lamepocalypse by Savage-Rabbit · · Score: 2

      As far as apocalypses go, that's one lame-sounding apocalypse.

      how many heads were on that beast in revelations? about 8.1?

      Seven heads, ten horns...

      --
      Only to idiots, are orders laws.
      -- Henning von Tresckow
    3. Re:Lamepocalypse by Z00L00K · · Score: 2

      I'd rather take the Lordi version: arockalypse.

      --
      If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
    4. Re:Lamepocalypse by caseih · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Well I did have a choice, true. I could have bought an OEM version of Windows 7 that was more than twice the cost of Windows 8, and cannot ever be moved to new hardware when this computer dies or requires a major upgrade. Or I could buy Windows 8.1 direct from Microsoft for about $100. I knew it had the ridiculous metro start screen, but I knew that Classic Shell could make it close enough to Windows 7 to be workable. And it is. Also Windows 8.1 can be transferred to brand new hardware and reactivated. They loosened up the restrictions some. So faced with this, it wasn't a hard choice to put on Windows 8.1.

      Mind you this situation I was in was precisely engineered by Microsoft to push me in the direction they want me to go. But surely you would do the same, no? Or would you really drop nearly $250 on an operating system?

    5. Re:Lamepocalypse by gtall · · Score: 3, Funny

      Nonsense! Those trumpets were playing "Hey Jude" over, and over, and over, and....

    6. Re:Lamepocalypse by roc97007 · · Score: 2

      I used to have a little fob on my keychain that when pressed would say "yes dear" in a cloying voice. (I'm not kidding. It finally failed and I've been looking for a replacement.) Wife would say something to me in a shrill nagging voice and then have to say "DON'T you reach for your keys!".

      --
      Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
    7. Re:Lamepocalypse by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

      You obviously haven't been in a room with seven trumpet players.

      Disclaimer: I'm a trumpet player.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    8. Re:Lamepocalypse by Penguinisto · · Score: 4, Insightful

      But surely you would do the same, no? Or would you really drop nearly $250 on an operating system?

      ...err, not really. I mean, seriously - my missus looked at the same situation and decided that she really didn't need Windows for anything.

      For my own new laptop, I found my own slightly costlier solution, but it works well for me. It has been working like a champ for almost year now, in spite of the abuse I regularly give it (which is, so far, longer than most laptops hold up under my not-so-tender mercies.) I keep Windows 7 around on a VMWare Fusion partition, but that's about it.

      --
      Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
    9. Re:Lamepocalypse by roc97007 · · Score: 5, Informative

      > Or would you really drop nearly $250 on an operating system?

      Oh c'mon, that's FUD and you know it. I build systems as a sideline, and I can buy locally Windows 7 Home Premium for $129 and Windows 7 64 Pro for $159. Amazon has Win 7 64 pro for $138.98. Amazon sells Windows 8 64 Pro for $129.99. For less than $10 more, you can get an operating system that actually works and results in fewer tech support calls to me. It's a good investment.

      Mind you, as an early adopter of Win8, I bought it for $59 when they were trying to promote it, but after upgrading to 8.1 and seeing no relief, I finally system restored my own system back to 7, because I use my computer to do stuff, not to wrestle with operating systems. And there it sits until Microsoft gets their act together. In the meantime, the systems I build still have Windows 7.

      --
      Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
    10. Re:Lamepocalypse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, he was bound by the shrink-wrapped End User License Agreement.

    11. Re:Lamepocalypse by MouseTheLuckyDog · · Score: 2

      She still your wife?

    12. Re:Lamepocalypse by Darinbob · · Score: 2

      It's sort of a trial run apocalypse, to gauge the level of public interest in a larger scale apocalypse.

    13. Re: Lamepocalypse by roc97007 · · Score: 2

      ...and the moment the Adobe suite is ported to Linux, I will do that. I do run Linux (CentOS for server and Ubuntu for desktop) for any application that doesn't need Photoshop, Lightroom, or Premiere. When those become available (and I know of Gimp, I use it, it's great, but it's still not quite Photoshop) I'll dump Windows without a second thought. (I mean ARE YOU KIDDING? In Windows 8 I have seen the future of Microsoft, and I want to stay as far away from that as possible.)

      Because (and this is important), what OS you run doesn't matter, what work you get done with the computer is what matters. We sometimes lose sight of that.

      So why am I not on a Mac? Because Macs are expensive, have their own eccentricities, and I prefer to build my own systems.

      --
      Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
    14. Re:Lamepocalypse by Mondor · · Score: 3, Informative

      That's the point.

  2. Apocalypse? by OverlordQ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Doesn't this happen every time they come out with a major update?

    --
    Your hair look like poop, Bob! - Wanker.
    1. Re:Apocalypse? by Opportunist · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Well, for me it's not an apocalypse, it's more a phoenix rising from the ashes!

      But then again, I'm in IT consulting...

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    2. Re:Apocalypse? by slashmydots · · Score: 2

      That's the strange part! Update 1 was what, 3 weeks ago or something? They supported Vista SP1 past SP2's release for like months and months and months. I've never seen them kill something so fast ever. Even XP SP2 was supported extremely long. And this is their latest product! I have a feeling this is going to be a Vista rerun where they cut their losses and kill everything once 9 is released. For example, Vista can run IE9 but not IE10 or 11 because MS didn't want to stick any money into making it work (that's not the excuse they gave but it's the realistic one). I'm selling 100% Windows 7 at my shop because it outnumbers 8.1 and that's that. They'll be forced to support it past the current end date of 2020 so no problem there. As for 8.1, they're going to bury it so fast it'll make your head spin. So I just simply cannot sell it on new PCs.

    3. Re:Apocalypse? by PRMan · · Score: 2

      Really? That's strange. My Eee Netbook upgraded just fine. Of course, I didn't use the Home version it came with and put Professional on there instead.

      --
      Peter predicted that you would "deliberately forget" creation 2000 years ago...
  3. Microsoft make up your mind! by bejiitas_wrath · · Score: 5, Insightful

    First you end support for XP, which is a good thing, then you end support for Windows 7 in 2020, now you are ending support for Windows 8 on May 8. Why? the bog standard Windows 8 still has newer software than Windows 7, the only thing holding it back is the retarded Modern UI interface. But this is a pretty lame apocalypse. I am perfectly happy with Windows 7 in a qemu KVM hypervisor running on a Linux laptop. This way I can run Windows in a window and use MS Office for those tasks that require it and still have access to the superior Linux command line tools. I just wish I still had my XP Pro VM. Now that was fun. Why is everything an apocalypse these days?

    --
    liberare massarum ex ignorantia, clausa descendit molestie.
    1. Re:Microsoft make up your mind! by Bill,+Shooter+of+Bul · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Its headline 2.0 compliant.

      The older headline 1.0 headline of "Windows 8.1 Pre Update 1 Reduction of Update Availibility arives mid 2nd quarter" has been obsoleted and will not recieve any more updates, which required an update to a headline 2.0 compliant headline.

      --
      Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
    2. Re:Microsoft make up your mind! by mrbluejello · · Score: 2

      ...and still have access to the superior Linux command line tools.

      I see you haven't learned PowerShell yet.

    3. Re:Microsoft make up your mind! by Burz · · Score: 2

      A word of caution: Most hypervisors were made primarily for the convenience of managing multiple systems on a single piece of hardware. If you want strong security around that Windows install you should think about running it in Qubes; version 2 just came out of beta.

  4. Linking to page 100? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Page 101 has the notice that the update was re-issued with a fix and the rest of the posts are all "worked for me" posts. Problem Solved.

    1. Re:Linking to page 100? by sqlrob · · Score: 2

      So you missed the ones after that saying it just changed the error they were getting?

    2. Re:Linking to page 100? by Rufty · · Score: 2

      But things have gotten better since then.

      ROTFLMAO

      --
      Red to red, black to black. Switch it on, but stand well back.
    3. Re:Linking to page 100? by lister+king+of+smeg · · Score: 2

      I don't what planet you've been on, but reinstalling windows from scratch has been standard practice since win95 for anytime windows shits its panties

      funny my but I find the standard practice to be nuke windows form orbit when it blows up install $linux and make a windows vm thats backed up.

      --
      ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
  5. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by XanC · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Would you care to read the summary and try again?

  6. They surely are shuffling things around by jones_supa · · Score: 5, Interesting

    It's very interesting what kind of circus the Windows 8 major updates have become. Instead of Service Packs, you now have Windows 8, Windows 8.1, and Windows 8.1 Update 1. Now, the support carpet is suddenly pulled for anything before W8.1U1. Along the way, various platform changes in the UI front have been introduced: start button goes away, start button comes back, ability to snap Modern apps, Modern apps get a title bar, Modern apps can appear in the taskbar, start menu is coming back. Also the settings are still wonkily spread across the classic Control Panel and the Modern UI "PC settings" application, not to speak about the "charms bar" which integrates really badly with the paradigms of the normal desktop, which the user is using at the same time.

    It's interesting because in the past Microsoft planned these things very carefully beforehand, and after the release of OS was very careful to not change core functionality. Maybe this is the future, then.

    1. Re:They surely are shuffling things around by RobertLTux · · Score: 5, Informative

      as far as settings go there is a trick that has been around for a while now

      "To activate God Mode in Windows 8, follow the steps below:

      1. Go to the Desktop
      2. Right-click and select New Folder.

      3. Right-click on the New Folder and select Rename.
      4. Change the name of the folder [just copy & paste the following string]: GodMode.{ED7BA470-8E54-465E-825C-99712043E01C}

      5. Open the folder and you will find every utility Windows 8 has under the sun.

      Note: With God Mode, you can easily access all the Administrative options and make any desired adjustments.

      Enjoy!"

      or just for "fun" https://dl.dropboxusercontent.... is pre rigged for your amusement

      --
      Any person using FTFY or editing my postings agrees to a US$50.00 charge
    2. Re:They surely are shuffling things around by Somebody+Is+Using+My · · Score: 2

      Microsoft has been quite explicit this is the future. They want an update process more like Apple's.

      Apple can afford to put it's customers on such a tight upgrade schedule because Apple has such a tight grip on what hardware is being used. Microsoft does not have this luxury; this is both Window's blessing and its curse. On the one hand, it allows Microsoft to dominate the desktop because users are not tied down to one hardware vendor. On the other hand, support becomes infinitely more difficult because Microsoft has to deal with all the potential conflicts caused by that huge variety of hardware. This type of support means that Microsoft has to do far more testing to make sure its OS upgrades don't inadvertently break something. This means upgrades need to come out slower, both so MS has time to do all that testing, and so its end-users can do likewise.

      Microsoft is trying to have it both ways: it wants all the advantages of its immense installation base without providing the necessary support for the full range of hardware. The the end-users are rightfully crying foul at this practice. Perhaps if MS had mandated that certain controlled hardware platforms (e.g., the Surface2) would not receive support unless upgraded to W81.u1 it would be one thing, but unilaterally declaring that any version of its mainstream OS that is older than a month not receive support? It sacrifices one of Windows greatest advantages: compatibility with older software and hardware. Without that, there is increasingly little reason to use Windows. It's almost as if Microsoft is intentionally trying to push its customers towards the alternatives.

  7. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by Threni · · Score: 5, Informative

    No, it's microsoft having a different minimum spec for 8.0 and 8.1. It's a cpu issue. Version n.x software should alway run on the same hardware n.x-1 ran on.

    What does Microsoft suggest people do about this? Buy new hardware? Live without the security fixes after just a year or so? Downgrade to 7?

    In some countries this would possibly enter consumer protection territory. In the UK possibly the 1979 Sale Of Goods Act.

  8. Re:There are people running 8.1? by Pieroxy · · Score: 5, Informative

    Are there still people running windows ?

    Many more than all other platform combined, at least on the desktop.

  9. 1000 replies? by Enry · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Looking at page 100, it looks like this really affects about a dozen people and they just keep posting. Let me know when there's 1000 unique people saying there's a problem.

    (and it appears that there's a fix of sorts)

  10. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by bmo · · Score: 4, Informative

    >Freshly minted account
    >Only posts on this thread - no other posts on anything ever
    >Friends: dingl_ (3643599) is all alone in the world.
    >Blaming the user
    >Blaming the OEM
    >Blaming anyone but Microsoft

    Oh look, a new Microsoft shill account.

    --
    BMO

  11. Maybe you should read what the issue is by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

    You may want to read up on the issue. The problem is people CAN'T update.

    There is a particular update that can fail and then it blocks all the other automatic updates from happening. So without even touching the machine and automatic updates turned on you get a computer that does not get any updates. The machine won't even notify you in the store that 8.1 is available until you get that one particular update cleaned up.

    This is through no fault of the end user, its completely a Microsoft issue.

  12. Re:Right... by Tridus · · Score: 5, Informative

    As they say, truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.

    It's true. If you are running 8.1, update 1 is mandatory to keep getting support: http://www.infoworld.com/t/mic...

    Microsoft said it themselves here: http://blogs.technet.com/b/gla...

    Originally they only gave 30 days to install it, but then they upped that to 120 because of all the compatibility and installation problems (and the few companies running Windows 8 screaming).

    Bizzarely, Windows 8.0 users aren't affected in the same way. This affects 8.1 users only. As usual, Windows 7 users can ignore this ongoing fiasco and keep doing productive work.

    --
    -- "So they told me that using the download page to download something was not something they anticipated." - Bill Gates
  13. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by bleh-of-the-huns · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Shill or not, he does has a valid point (I have not looked at the other comments).
    As much as I personally hate automatic updates, as I decide when I want to update shit, for the vast unwashed masses, it is not a bad idea. Too many of my friends and family (I no longer play tech support except for direct family.. aka my wife) have had machines with years of missing patches, and they wonder why their machines are up shits creek.

    I on the other hand, have a windows 8.1 slate I used for my car (runs vehicle diagnostic software, not the std odb reader crap), I cannot get update 1, I get the failure many others are getting. I cannot go back to Windows 7 because too many missing drivers, and very unreliable touchscreen experience. I have tried the windows 8 drivers on 7 with no luck. So for me, I will no longer have support (I do not need technical support, I would like security updates at least).

    Good thing I do not use that for anything other than car diagnostics... At least my car won't give my computer herpes :P

    --
    I came, I conquered, I coredumped
  14. One of those unable to install the 8.1 update by LearningHard · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I'm not sure what the issue is. Both times I've tried to install it I end up with a black screen with no error message, no hard drive activity, nothing at all. Both times I've had to use my 8 disk to revert to regular Win8.

  15. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by dreamchaser · · Score: 2

    If some users can't update it sounds like an OEM issue to me, or other conflicting software/ driver or firmware problem.. Not much Microsoft can do, its an OEM problem

    If you even bothered to look into it at all you'd see that your statement is false. It *is* a Microsoft issue, but then again looking at your details I wouldn't be surprised if you're just using a sockpuppet account to astroturf for MS>

  16. VM by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    I run Windows 8 in a VM on Vista. It's like a layer cake of failure.

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:VM by lister+king+of+smeg · · Score: 2

      I run Windows 8 in a VM on Vista. It's like a layer cake of failure.

      If only you duel booted your Vista install with Windows ME and installed BOB on it, then you would have the ultimate windows fiasco in a box.

      --
      ---Saying gnome 3 is better than windows 8 not so much a compliment as it is damning with light praise.
  17. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Did you even read TFS? Apparently, for a lot of people, Update 1 simply won't install for some reason. How are these people supposed to apply OS updates when the OS won't allow it?

    I got a brand new Windows 7 Lenovo machine for my folks' small business (to avert the imminent XPocalypse that I told them about two years ago, and eighteen months ago, and twelve months ago ... .) and I was shocked how a new-out-of-box Windows 7 machine not only needed about eight reboots to update itself, but that out of 147 updates there were like 24 that failed to apply. Reboot-re-run was needed about five times to just get through all those failed applies.

    I'm more used to lazily installing a CentOS 6.0 DVD and running yum update and getting 959 updates which all apply in one smooth transaction. And that stuff was just written by a few part-time guys at Duke (of course credit to RHAT hackers for making it faster).

    I wasn't surprised by XP's crummy updater, but by time Windows 7 came out they should have had this nailed with a team of pros working on it, and that this stuff is still broken in 8.1 is ridiculous. And to add insult to injury, they charge money for this junk!

    --
    My God, it's Full of Source!
    OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
  18. Re:Useful link? by sanosuke001 · · Score: 2

    As someone else posted in a sub-comment somewhere, http://blogs.technet.com/b/gla...

    --
    -SaNo
  19. regular users by roc97007 · · Score: 2

    Do regular users even know what and where the "update log" is?

    I don't blame Microsoft for orphaning 8.1 early -- it's a mess and a corporate embarrassment, and the sooner they get people off it the better. My copy of 8 went back on the shelf, and it'll stay there until I'm comfortable that Microsoft understands that most of their customers don't have touch screens and they have to provide for that.

    Geekly early adopters will figure out how to upgrade. Although they may be more vocal, they'll be less affected than the regular users, the people who buy computers to do stuff and not to manage operating systems, will be.

    From a marketing standpoint, Microsoft really needs to get the name "windows 8" out of the public mindshare. It tastes like failure.

    --
    Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
    1. Re:regular users by Funk_dat69 · · Score: 2

      Haven't you seen the MS commercials lately?
      They all mention "The New Windows!", NOT "Windows 8!" Because they know that regular users have already latched on to the idea that Windows 8 is "bad". The same thing happened to Vista. Maybe both OS's deserve it, maybe not, but when you overhear Joe Schmoe computer buyer at Fry's saying "Oh, no I want the one with the good Windows", (I seriously heard this around the time Vista was cratering and again a few months back) you know you have a problem.

      --
      FUNK!
  20. Awful by blackiner · · Score: 5, Informative

    I ordered my parents a Windows 8 laptop to replace their old xp laptop, thinking, "Well, windows 8 can't be THAT bad." It was.

    The thing would not download updates. It would just say "Downloading updates..." and stall for hours at a time. I searched as much as I could online and only found barely any help. Most of it involved stopping the windows update agent service, and then deleting cached update files. But then it would just freeze again when I started it again. After a whole bunch of attempts, I noticed it was filling up the cache folder again after every time I restarted the update service, and that if I waited a bit, and then rebooted the computer, it would apply a few patches. So... that's ultimately how I ended up getting the thing all patched up. Stop update service, delete all cached patches, start update service, wait a few hours while they download in the background with no fucking mention of what is going on, reboot machine. I guess running the windows update must have been causing some sort of deadlock with the background updater or something... What a fucking mess. How in the world did they ship an OS with a non functioning update manager... And to top it all off, I couldn't just download win 8.1 separately, like how you could download the xp service packs separately. If I could have just done that... it would have been a hell of a lot simpler to get everything working. Instead they want you to download it through the microsoft store in metro... which won't show up unless, you guessed it, you already have fully updated through windows update.

    On the plus side, everything works fine now that it is fully updated.

  21. Re:As if millions of voices cried out in terror... by RogueWarrior65 · · Score: 2

    Not so much with OSX. Might happen once a month or so if that. Linux, sure. Lots of components seems to get updated frequently. When I run Windows, it seems like every time I boot there is some sort of update. But not really my point. If Microsoft is going to brick the machine because an earlier update failed, that's bad.

  22. Re:As if millions of voices cried out in terror... by just_another_sean · · Score: 2

    I don't know, I installed Mint for my Mom to replace XP. Her and her husband actually seem more comfortable installing updates. They get notified on their desktop as regular users and I showed them how to switch user to an sudoer account and install the updates. When the updates are complete they just switch back to their regular account.

    It's only been a couple of months and these are by no means power users with complex app requirements or the need to play games but that said, for their simple needs, everything they expect to be there is there and to them the maintenance piece is easier for them to understand. Especially since more than the OS gets updated with aptitude - no more updating Windows, and flash, and Java, and AV and, well you get the idea...

    --
    Creationist Textbook Stickers Declared Unconstitutional by CowboyNeal
  23. Disinformation by ormico · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Windows 8.0 will continue to be supported.
    Windows 8.1 will be supported if you have Update 1 installed.
    Its only Windows 8.1 that doesn't have Update 1 that is losing support.
    I'm not a fan of that, but don't make it out to be more than it is. Its certainly not the end of the world.

  24. Vehicle dignostics software on Windows 8 by BcNexus · · Score: 2

    Hey, bleh... I assume you are happy with the software you are using. I'd be interested in something like that. What's it called?

  25. good thing... by smash · · Score: 2

    ... i'm still on windows 8. before you laugh... this box is purely for steam and 8 was easy to install. yes the UI is a pig. tried upgrading to 8.1, it just caused compatibility problems and random 100% io spikes (for 45+ minutes at a time, only fix = hard power cycle. no virus no hardware failure. have gone back to 8 and it has been fine since).

    --
    I run: Windows, OS X, Linux, FreeBSD. Just because you have a hammer, doesn't mean everything is a nail.
  26. Re:Right... by MikeBabcock · · Score: 2

    You seem to have missed his point entirely; Windows 7 is unaffected by this current silliness, which cuts productivity by forcing people to comply with update requirements.

    --
    - Michael T. Babcock (Yes, I blog)
  27. Re:Apocalypse, Really? by Threni · · Score: 2

    I don't get confronted with an EULA when I order a laptop from Amazon. And once I've bought it I don't care what appears on the screen because I didn't have the opportunity to read that when I was making the purchase (the SALE part of Sale Of Goods Act).

  28. Oh noes! by FuzzNugget · · Score: 2

    What will those 3 people do??

  29. Re:It is a bit ironic ... by Rambo+Tribble · · Score: 2

    On the contrary, my clients and I have been using Linux for business and personal use in a variety of applications, for over ten years. Your impression is common, but ignorant. It is true that it takes some competence to set it up correctly, but that's actually true with Windows or OS X, as well. I've worked with each of them and Linux actually makes the most sense in how it's laid out and works. Linux, and the software which runs on it, will do the great majority of jobs as well or better than the other two, and, if it is properly configured for the use case, it is as easy to use as anything out there.