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First Star War Episode 7 Trailer Released
Midnight Thunder writes: The first trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens has been released. (YouTube link.) This is the first real opportunity to get a feeling for whether childhood dreams will be crushed or Disney, with the help of JJ Abrams, will be able to breath new life into the story without making it feel like a merchandising excuse.
will be able to breath new life
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
"without making it feel like a merchandising excuse."
But if it doesn't feel like a merchandising excuse, it just won't feel like star wars. Even the original trilogy had that feel. Every alien, ship and droid seems to whisper 'action figure in stores soon.'
They also should also rename them to spoilers!
Sitting here, watching it, I'm reminded of how awesome the trailer was for Episode 1 a long time ago and the reaction it got.
So there I was, scribbling down some notes off the PC screen by hand, when I reached for the keyboard and Ctrl-S'd.
Let's face it, it is a merchandising excuse.
Di$ney will have fresh Star Wars everything on sale.
The movie will be guaranteed to have some cloyingly cute character which can be marketed to kids.
Taco Bell and McDonalds will have special toys.
They'l re-re-re-re-release extended cuts or special editions of the damned movies.
Little children will have R2D2 pyjamas and underpants. And diapers. And sippy cups. And hats. And halloween costumes.
Disney will eventually put out 9 more movies, of ever diminishing artistic merit.
There will be friggin' Ewok porn.
I'm nostalgic about the first series. I mostly liked the second series but it had some issues.
But I tried to watch Episode I with my wife, and within five minutes of Jar Jar Binks appearing on screen she said "if he's in the rest of this film I'm leaving". So now if I want to watch it I'm on my own, and the pod racer scene is mostly how I calibrate my home theater.
I honestly can't decide if I will see this or not.
But let's not for a minute pretend this is being done for any reason besides the zillions of dollars Disney expects to wring from this franchise.
If they were doing a billion a year in merchandising for Cars years after it was released, you won't believe the marketing blitz which will accompany this.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
1. Aren't you a little black to be a stormtrooper?
2. A beach ball droid?
3. Oooo! Nice X-Wing shot. Okay I might go and watch this.
4. That sword's a bit silly. You're still going to lose a hand if the light-sabre slices through the metal bit!
5. Millenium Falcon! Woohoo!
Well, Star Wars has been known to have serious consequences for youth with side effects such as lifelong virginity.
This trailer is getting lots of hype but has very little content. I know, it's only 88 seconds long but really what is in it? Not much. Yeah. we see the Millenium Falcon again. We see a spiffy new kind of multi-blade light sabre. We see some other clever method of moving around faster than the best that us poor feeble humans can walk. We see some other nifty little robot. But none of that really tells us much about the movie itself; it could just as well be a teaser for Disney's toy catalog for next Christmas.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Most of the trailer is CGI, which makes sense at this point. The movie won't be released for another year, so this early on most of the finished shots would be fairly generic CGI stuff that was being worked on in parallel to the main shooting. The hard part is all the editing and incorporating CGI into the shots with the actors, and they've only just wrapped up the shooting this month. That's what they'll be working on for the next several months.
One thing about the lightsaber scene, at first I was like "that's a lame gimmicky lightsaber", but then looking at it more closely, it doesn't have a pure even glow like a normal lightsaber. It looks more like fire and less refined. So my hunch is that sith guy had to figure out how to fabricate the weapon on his own without any guidance, so it's this crude, barely controlled weapon that has to vent extra energy so it doesn't blow up or melt or something. Yeah, that was a pretty geeky analysis.
Better known as 318230.
Doesn't JJ know that Ion Engines don't generate enough thrust to propel so much as a paper airplane through atmosphere, much less an entire TIE-Fighter And even if those Twin Ion Engines could generate enough thrust, TIE-Fighers don't have control surfaces or the proper aerodynamics to fly?!?!?! Is he that big of a moron or is he purposely out to make the sequels worse than the prequels? And don't get me started on the sheer stupidity and uselessness of the crossguard on that Sith's lightsaber UTTER IDIOCY!
Millenium Falcon shot: I hope he's got a new pilot, because I think Han's getting too old for this. Also: 25+ years later and they're still using original TIE fighters?
Harrison Ford still has a valid pilot's license.
As far as technology goes, what I observed from the episodes 1-3 is that they had better technology available than they did in 4-6, like double bladed light sabers, unlike the paltry one bladed ones available in the future. It's almost like their society is failing and their technology is limited to only what has already been produced and hasn't been destroyed yet. They should count themselves lucky to have TIE fighters.
If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
It would be the greatest act of trolling in history if he popped on screen early into the movie yelling "Surprise! Yousa think meesa not in this movie! Yousa wrong! Hahahahaha!" and then there was a long Bollywood-style dance scene with dozens of Jar Jars singing and dancing on screen XD
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
The stupid part is it's not even an effective crossguard. There's a metal section close to the hilt so you can easily cut the crossguard off. Congrats on making a (most likely) primary antagonist look like an idiot. Unless they intented Luke Skywalker to show a juvenille Sith how moronic his added bling is in an actual fight...
That's not something you can do to a lightsaber goddammit.
Ahem. Actually, it makes a kind of sense: it always bothered me how Star Wars lightsabers didn't have any kind of hilt/crossguard, which should have made it almost trivially easy for their opponent's to simply slide their lightsaber down the blade and slice off their opponents hand. Maybe someone in the universe finally realized that with a crossguard every lightsaber duel wouldn't end with someone loosing a hand?
"None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license." --John Milton
Hmmm ... but ouchebag just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
50 seconds worth of film in the trailer and it includes a bloody lens flare.
Also: 25+ years later and they're still using original TIE fighters?
The US and many other countries are still flying the top gun f16s, and that was 20 years ago.
Light saber technology is not the best example, ...
Obi Wan Gilette: "Heck, we'll make one with 5 blades!"
(or was it Wilkinson?)
There are fewer illiterates than people who can't read.
Which is exactly WHY having a group of religious nuts running around 'guarding' the universe by wielding energy swords with no hilts was completely ridiculous in the first place, especially when that very same universe was also populated by people wielding weapons with both physical and energy based ammo that simply would beat the reaction time of any human, force or no force
I wondered why no one ever came up with the idea of a blaster that fired three bolts in a slightly spreading triangle. The lightsaber is a line - it can only block two of them, no matter who fast its wielder is.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Not infinite ammo! You have to press F9 to recharge them, and then your MGLT drops. Don't even have shield from which to redirect charge, dang widow makers.
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
...until bastards go to four blades.
Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip.
Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.
Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do.
After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe.
Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow?
Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!
You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game.
Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Sith is the best a man can get.
What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking saber that ever existed. Comprende?
We didn't claw our way out of a sarlacc pit to the top of the saber game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard.
We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.
Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it.
They don't tell me what to inventâ"I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there.
I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle.
I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!
You're taking the "light" part of "light saber" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it.
Let's roll. This is our chance to make saber history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen.
If you aren't on board, then fuck you. And if you're on the board, then fuck you and your father.
Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade saber becomes the fencing tool for the Gal-a- "this is how we cut the hands off now"-xay.
People said we couldn't go to three. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it.
Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy?"
Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Coruscant, working on fucking electrics. Rotary blades, my white ass!
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Empire's wake and make blasters. Ha!
Not on your fucking life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like the Empire is the day I leave the saber game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!
The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle.
It's as easy as, "Hey, cutting with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet."
Or "You'll be so smooth, you'll make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."
Try "Your neck is going to be so friggin' soft, someone's gonna walk up and tie a goddamn Medal of Bravery under it."
I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?!
Grow the fuck up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top.
Which Sith is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, five blades, sweet Jesus in heaven.
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius.
Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler.
Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too. That's right.
Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard meâ"the second strip lathers.
It's a whole new way to think about swords. Don't question it. Don't say a word.
Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edgeâ"the saber's edgeâ"and I feel like dancing.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens