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First Star War Episode 7 Trailer Released
Midnight Thunder writes: The first trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens has been released. (YouTube link.) This is the first real opportunity to get a feeling for whether childhood dreams will be crushed or Disney, with the help of JJ Abrams, will be able to breath new life into the story without making it feel like a merchandising excuse.
It actually does say "breathe." It's just hard to see that last "e" due to the lens flare.
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
1. Aren't you a little black to be a stormtrooper?
2. A beach ball droid?
3. Oooo! Nice X-Wing shot. Okay I might go and watch this.
4. That sword's a bit silly. You're still going to lose a hand if the light-sabre slices through the metal bit!
5. Millenium Falcon! Woohoo!
Doesn't JJ know that Ion Engines don't generate enough thrust to propel so much as a paper airplane through atmosphere, much less an entire TIE-Fighter And even if those Twin Ion Engines could generate enough thrust, TIE-Fighers don't have control surfaces or the proper aerodynamics to fly?!?!?! Is he that big of a moron or is he purposely out to make the sequels worse than the prequels? And don't get me started on the sheer stupidity and uselessness of the crossguard on that Sith's lightsaber UTTER IDIOCY!
Millenium Falcon shot: I hope he's got a new pilot, because I think Han's getting too old for this. Also: 25+ years later and they're still using original TIE fighters?
Harrison Ford still has a valid pilot's license.
As far as technology goes, what I observed from the episodes 1-3 is that they had better technology available than they did in 4-6, like double bladed light sabers, unlike the paltry one bladed ones available in the future. It's almost like their society is failing and their technology is limited to only what has already been produced and hasn't been destroyed yet. They should count themselves lucky to have TIE fighters.
If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
That's not something you can do to a lightsaber goddammit.
Ahem. Actually, it makes a kind of sense: it always bothered me how Star Wars lightsabers didn't have any kind of hilt/crossguard, which should have made it almost trivially easy for their opponent's to simply slide their lightsaber down the blade and slice off their opponents hand. Maybe someone in the universe finally realized that with a crossguard every lightsaber duel wouldn't end with someone loosing a hand?
"None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license." --John Milton
It actually does say "breathe." It's just hard to see that last "e" due to the lens flare.
Ah; that explains the "Star War" title then too!
...until bastards go to four blades.
Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip.
Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.
Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do.
After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe.
Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow?
Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!
You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a shit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game.
Are they the best a man can get? Fuck, no. Sith is the best a man can get.
What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fucking saber that ever existed. Comprende?
We didn't claw our way out of a sarlacc pit to the top of the saber game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard.
We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.
Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it.
They don't tell me what to inventâ"I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there.
I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle.
I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!
You're taking the "light" part of "light saber" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it.
Let's roll. This is our chance to make saber history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen.
If you aren't on board, then fuck you. And if you're on the board, then fuck you and your father.
Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade saber becomes the fencing tool for the Gal-a- "this is how we cut the hands off now"-xay.
People said we couldn't go to three. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it.
Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy?"
Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Coruscant, working on fucking electrics. Rotary blades, my white ass!
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Empire's wake and make blasters. Ha!
Not on your fucking life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like the Empire is the day I leave the saber game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!
The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle.
It's as easy as, "Hey, cutting with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet."
Or "You'll be so smooth, you'll make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."
Try "Your neck is going to be so friggin' soft, someone's gonna walk up and tie a goddamn Medal of Bravery under it."
I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?!
Grow the fuck up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top.
Which Sith is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, five blades, sweet Jesus in heaven.
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius.
Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler.
Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fucker, too. That's right.
Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard meâ"the second strip lathers.
It's a whole new way to think about swords. Don't question it. Don't say a word.
Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edgeâ"the saber's edgeâ"and I feel like dancing.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens