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Ask Slashdot: Terminally Ill - What Wisdom Should I Pass On To My Geek Daughter?

An anonymous reader writes: I am a scientist and educator who has been enjoying and learning from Slashdot since the late 90s. Now I come to you, my geek brothers and sisters, for help. I've been diagnosed with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, which you will remember is what took Steve Jobs and Randy Pausch from us. My condition is incurable. Palliative chemotherapy may delay the inevitable, but a realistic assessment suggests that I have anywhere from two to six months of "quality" time left, and likely not more than a year in total.

I am slowly coming to terms with my imminent death, but what bothers me most is that I will be leaving my wife alone, and that my daughter will have to grow up without her father. She is in sixth grade, has an inquisitive and sharp mind, and is interested in science and music. She seems well on the path to becoming a "girl geek" like her mother, an outcome I'd welcome.

Since I will not be around for all of the big events in her life, I am going to create a set of video messages for her that she can watch at those important times or just when she's having a bad day. I would like to do this before my condition progresses to the point that I am visibly ill, so time is short.

In the videos I will make clear how much I treasure the time we've spent together and the wonderful qualities I see in her. What other suggestions do you have? What did you need to hear at the different stages of your life? What wisdom would have been most helpful to you? At what times did you especially need the advice of a parent? And especially for my geek sisters, how can I help her navigate the unique issues faced by girls and women in today's world?

Please note that I'm posting anonymously because I don't want this to be about me. I'd prefer that the focus be on my daughter and how I can best help her. Thank you so much for your help.

5 of 698 comments (clear)

  1. terminal illness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    I've read slashdot for many years and this is the only thing on it that's made me cry, not that I have anything insightful to say.

    1. Re:terminal illness by lorenlal · · Score: 3, Informative

      And this post will be something to remind her that her dad, down the stretch, thought of her future and how to do something for her. I think that's as good a gift as anything.

      All I can come up with is, "Just do your best."

  2. Re:Gerson by iggymanz · · Score: 4, Informative

    National Cancer Institute did a review of Gerson's claims. I'll save everyone a lot of time with the spoiler: Gerson was full of shit, don't waste your time. http://www.cancer.gov/cancerto...

  3. Jobs had Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Tumor by rvaniwaa · · Score: 4, Informative

    FWIW, Steve Jobs had a Pancreatic Neuroendocrine Tumor (often called a PNET or islet cell cancer). What most people think of when they hear pacreatic cancer is an extremely agressive, fast growing cancer that has single digit survival percentages at 12 months. Steve Jobs' cancer was a neuroendocrine tumor which can have survival times much greater than typical pancreatic cancer. I know this because I have a carcinoid cancer which is a neuroendocrine tumor and have been fighting this for years (14 this October).

    --
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  4. Re:Instilling values more important by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Informative

    You're a terrible person. Consider therapy.