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Why There Is No Such Thing as 'Proper English'

Pikoro writes: A recent article in the Wall Street Journal explains why the concept of a "proper" English isn't realistic. Quoting: "It's a perpetual lament: The purity of the English language is under assault. These days we are told that our ever-texting teenagers can't express themselves in grammatical sentences. The media delight in publicizing ostensibly incorrect usage. ... As children, we all have the instinct to acquire a set of rules and to apply them. ... We know that a certain practice is a rule of grammar because it’s how we see and hear people use the language. ... That’s how scholarly linguists work. Instead of having some rule book of what is “correct” usage, they examine the evidence of how native and fluent nonnative speakers do in fact use the language. Whatever is in general use in a language (not any use, but general use) is for that reason grammatically correct. The grammatical rules invoked by pedants aren’t real rules of grammar at all. They are, at best, just stylistic conventions.

28 of 667 comments (clear)

  1. There might not be Proper English by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    But it's damn certain there is Improper English.

    1. Re:There might not be Proper English by thechemic · · Score: 4, Funny

      No thangs up in dis biatch found fo' A recent article up in tha Wall Street Journal explains why tha concept of a "proper" Gangsta aint realistic. Quoting: "It aint nuthin but a perpetual lament: Da puritizzle of tha Gangsta language is under assault. These minutes we is holla'd at dat our ever-textin teenagers can't express theyselves up in grammatical sentences. Da media delight up in publicizin ostensibly incorrect usage. .. fo' realz. As children, we all have tha instinct ta acquire a set of rulez n' ta apply em. ... We know dat a cold-ass lil certain practice be a rule of grammar cuz its how tha fuck we peep n' hear playas use tha language. ... That's how tha fuck scholarly linguists work. Instead of havin some rule book of what tha fuck is "correct" usage, they examine tha evidence of how tha fuck natizzle n' fluent nonnatizzle speakers do up in fact use tha language. Whatever is up in general use up in a language (not any use yo, but general use) is fo' dat reason grammatically erect. Da grammatical rulez invoked by pedants arent real rulez of grammar at all. They are, at best, just stylistic conventions..

      --
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    2. Re:There might not be Proper English by The+Rizz · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I would agree. And I think the notion of teaching "Proper English" is less about saying common usage is wrong than it is with trying to slow down the fragmentation of the language into dialects. If you can teach one set of rules for the language as being "correct" and make sure everyone understands it that way, then at least you have a common starting point for all the different dialects, and hopefully keep people ostensibly speaking the same language actually able to understand each other.

    3. Re:There might not be Proper English by thechemic · · Score: 5, Funny

      Here is all of slashdot translated into "unproper english". Makes me laugh. LOL!

      http://www.gizoogle.net/tranzizzle.php?search=http%3A%2F%2Fslashdot.org%2F&se=Go+Git+Dis+Shiznit

      --
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    4. Re:There might not be Proper English by ShanghaiBill · · Score: 5, Insightful

      trying to slow down the fragmentation of the language into dialects.

      English is not fragmenting. It is coalescing into a single global language. A century ago, English spoken in widely separated areas, like say Australia and America, were much further apart than they are today. In the past, even different regions of America, like say New England and the Deep South, sometimes had difficulty communicating. Today, regional accents are slowly dying out, and vocabulary is standardizing. Part of the reason is easy air travel, but bigger reasons are the globalization of media and entertainment, and the Internet.

    5. Re:There might not be Proper English by Chas · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Years ago, in Basic Training, had a guy tell me he was from "Soccolonna"?

      And I was like "Where?"

      South Carolina.

      I'm fine with taking a certain stylistic convention (such as supposed "proper english") and teaching is the norm (similar to Standard Received Pronunciation used to be in the UK).
      This ensures that we can still communicate with one another. Without the regional drifts becoming so bad they become an unintelligible dialect to pretty much anyone else.
      We don't have to declare english a "closed language (see DEAD LANGUAGE)" the way those idiots in France have tried and failed to do.

      But using "English is a living, growing language" to justify "Fo shizzle"isms is disingenuous at best, with me leaning more towards "downright idiotic".

      The point of a language is to be able to communicate in a standard manner.

      Having to decipher pseudorandom grunts and vocalizations defeats that purpose.

      The same thing can be said for the written language.

      Spelling stuff "just any old way" is just unacceptable.

      Try reading medieval English (from the period of Chaucer and before). And I don't mean copies that have been spelling corrected as of today. I mean the originals.

      It can be done. But it's a MASSIVE pain in the balls, and in some cases, requires additional schooling.

      Now imagine people turning in manuscripts, scientific papers, reports, etc, etc like that TODAY.

      Again, you don't have a common point of reference. Therefore you don't have a language.

      --


      Chas - The one, the only.
      THANK GOD!!!
    6. Re:There might not be Proper English by shilly · · Score: 5, Insightful

      You mean "distinct", not "disparate".

      While the British Isles has many forms of English, and a number of dialects, regional variations are mainly confined to accents and some vocabulary. There is no mutual incomprehensibility between a Mancunian and a Kentish resident, even if there's the odd word or phrase used by the one and not the other. This is also true for Scottish English, which is very definitely not typically "hard to understand as even being English". Cockney slang as slang is barely used by anyone any more, while more generally Cockney English has, of course, more or less been replaced by Estuary English, which is spoken by people all across the South East. In the East End, English is most likely to be difficult to understand for people who only speak Standard British English because of imported words and features from new immigrant communities such as Sylhetis and Lithuanians.

      Regional variations continue to exist in British English, and will continue to be generated, but it is undoubtedly true that the extent of variation has lessened compared to 50 years ago, and that this is partly driven by migration and partly by media.

      It sounds to me, as a Brit, as though you're simply subscribing to a popular US view of how Britain's language works from several thousand miles away; a view which is inaccurate.

  2. English belongs to the world by AndyCanfield · · Score: 5, Funny

    There are more people studying English in China than the entire population of England. The English language does NOT belong to the native speakers - it belongs to the world. It is the "lingua franca" of our age (and doesn't that phrase piss off the French!).

    1. Re:English belongs to the world by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Why would they? They term "lingua franca" (italian for "language of the Frankish") originated during the renaissance to describe a "universal" language spoken throughout the mediterranean and used for commerce and trade. It is composed of mostly Italian (80%) with some greek, portuguese, arabic, spanish, old french, occitan. In this context, the term "Franca" (Frankish) does not describe "France". The term "Franca" was used by Greeks, Arabs and others to describe Western Europe.

  3. Re:Stupid question by hcs_$reboot · · Score: 4, Funny

    Difference is the American English is taking over the British English. American culture is invading everywhere through movies and dramas, news etc... Why not just accept once and for all that English is, from now on, American English?

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  4. Re:Dialects != Language by snowgirl · · Score: 4, Informative

    I imagine that you think Swedish, Norwegian and Danish are all different languages...

    In spelling, Norwegian has two methods of writing: Nynorsk, and Bokmål... one is more like Swedish, the other is more like Danish, respectively...

    But in the end, it's all just spelling the spelling, as they're all mutually intelligible. There is less different between the Scandinavian languages than Spanish and especially Arabic.

    There is less difference between Romanian and Moldavian than there is between American and British English, yet some Moldavians insist that they speak a different language in order to create an "us vs them"

    Linguists know that a language is just a dialect with an army.

    --
    WARNING! This girl exceeds the MAXIMUM SAFE standards established by the FDA for BRATTINESS
  5. Of course there's proper English by russotto · · Score: 4, Interesting

    However, it has nothing to do with purity. English is famously a language which mugs other languages for their vocabulary. But just because it is impure and inconsistent doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

  6. Re:Headline Is Wrong by Jane+Q.+Public · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Should be: Why They're Ain't Any Such Thing as "Proper English."

    Author has apparently never heard of Strunk & White.

    It's a bit of a conflict of interest for a writer to say there are "no rules", when in fact there are. And English doesn't actually change anywhere near as fast as many of these folks claim. Fads come and go, while the underlying rules persist, generation after generation.

    If that were not true, you would not be able to make sense of Shakespeare today. But you can, except for the occasional stray word. You still get the meaning.

  7. Can we still agree that by DeanCubed · · Score: 4, Insightful

    people shouldn't say "For all intensive purposes" or "should/could/would of"?

    --
    Born to Play
  8. The whole premise is an excuse for illiteracy by msobkow · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The whole premise of the article is a pandering to the youth with an excuse for their illiterate and malformed excuses for use of the language. As per usual, "you don't get it, grandpa" is presented as a valid excuse for a lack of education and for football players in university who can't write a simple one page essay that can even garner a 50% grade.

    --
    I do not fail; I succeed at finding out what does not work.
  9. nonsensical by argStyopa · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Yes, a language is a dynamic thing. The rules are constantly changing, and what was 'unacceptable' to purists is okay for casual use, and what was casual use only ten years ago might be perfectly acceptable even in rigorous settings today.

    Further, English is a very agglomerative language; it's turned out to be astonishingly tolerant of loan words, adoptions, etc from other languages freely. Thus, at least in American English particularly, there's a tolerance (largely, I suspect, due to our immigrant past) for odd phrasings, word orders, or odd usage that eventually may become common parlance.

    NEVERTHELESS, as much as it's getting down into the weeds of linguistic OCD to insist (or not) on the Oxford comma, or avoiding prepositional endings, or on specific adjectival orders (there's a rabbit hole if you want to see grammarians duking it out), that doesn't mean that there aren't rules of usage that are common for understanding, or that "there are no real rules at all" as this article seems to claim.

    Yes, it's very intellectual to assert there are no rules, but a normal person recognized that's stupid: of COURSE there are rules. Are they regularly ignored? Sure. Should they be? It depends on context; if you're talking with your friends "u" is probably a perfectly acceptable replacement for "you". If you're writing a business letter, it will simply make you look like a moron.

    If someone points it out to you, Insisting with sophomoric sincerity that "well there really are no rules in English anyway" will simply certify their opinion.

    --
    -Styopa
  10. Understanding rules looser than style guide rules by tepples · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The rules sufficient for successful understanding are looser than the rules prescribed by style guides. Still, following the rules in a major style guide will help you stay well within the rules for understanding.

  11. Common ground. by westlake · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Whatever is in general use in a language (not any use, but general use) is for that reason grammatically correct. The grammatical rules invoked by pedants aren't real rules of grammar at all. They are, at best, just stylistic conventions.

    These conventions are what make communication possible between the old and the young, the past and the present. The speeches of Lincoln, FDR, Martin Luther King resonate to this day, without translation.

  12. The only pure English is the language of Beowolf by TarPitt · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Before a bunch of French speaking Vikings invaded in 1066, before Nordic speaking Vikings degraded the language.

    Ða wæs on uhtan mid ærdæge
    Grendles guðcræft gumum undyrne;
    a wæs æfter wiste wop up ahafen,
    micel morgensweg. Mære eoden,
    æeling ærgod, unbliðe sæt,
    olode ðryðswyð egnsorge dreah,
    syðan hie æs laðan last sceawedon,
    wergan gastes; wæs æt gewin to strang,
    lað ond longsum!

    THAT is proper English!

    --
    If your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd murder you in your sleep
  13. Re:A Language With No Rules... by Antique+Geekmeister · · Score: 5, Funny

    I could care less.

  14. two branches by Orgasmatron · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Linguistics has two branches. One branch is descriptive linguistics which studies how language is used. The other is proscriptive, who describes how a language should be used. This divide is covered pretty often by language log (worth reading pretty often).

    This article is just someone discovering descriptive linguistics for the first time and ecstatic that their prejudgments are backed up by a branch of something that sounds like a science. Congratulations. "Science" has "proved" that there are no standards for language and all those teachers that marked up your papers with red pens were just being mean.

    There is no One True English, but there sure as hell is a Don't Sound Like a Moron English. Like it or not, people hear more than just what you say. They also hear how you say it, and they tend to figure out who you are, or at least, who you are similar to.

    Same goes with clothes. People know who you are just by looking at you. They may be wrong occasionally, and you can feel smug for subverting their expectations, but it is a tool that is right most of the time, and it seems to be wired very deeply into us, so no one is going to stop doing it.

    You can whine all you want about how unfair it is, but if you want your ideas heard, your best bet is to sound (and look) like someone worth listening to.

    --
    See that "Preview" button?
  15. Re:Understanding rules looser than style guide rul by Dutch+Gun · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Also, take note of one of the rare times "looser" is actually used appropriately. Nowadays, my brain makes a nearly audible 'tic' whenever it first spots that word anywhere on the internet, probably because of the tiny mental trauma inflicted on me each time someone misspells "loser".

    --
    Irony: Agile development has too much intertia to be abandoned now.
  16. Re:Understanding rules looser than style guide rul by Sardaukar86 · · Score: 4, Funny

    For understandability amongst illiterate Marxists, also known as Slashdotters, shouldn't that be "loser than"?

    "Loser then", if I'm not mistaken.

    Not sure it's confined entirely to us 'illiterate Marxist Slashdotters' though. =)

    --
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  17. Grammar isn't pedantiv by umafuckit · · Score: 4, Insightful
    The grammatical rules invoked by pedants aren’t real rules of grammar at all. They are, at best, just stylistic conventions.

    This is a silly blanket statement. It's true of some things, such as the split infinitive. Other things, such as correct comma placement, play an obvious role in understanding a sentence. I agree that languages evolve, but I don't think "text speak" is part of that evolution. Text speak is just lazy.

  18. Re:A Language With No Rules... by Dutch+Gun · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Nowadays, it's very likely someone using somewhat broken English on the internet simply doesn't speak it as a primary language. The way I figure it, I'm pretty sure their command of my language is a heck of a lot more impressive than my command of theirs. If I'm conversing with someone and they apologize for their poor English, I'll often pull out this quip to reassure them that not everyone is so shallow as to nitpick about stuff like that.

    Sure, we all laughed at "all your base are belong to us", but there's a difference between chuckling at some examples of Engrish versus some sort of language snobbery. I suppose the Japanese or Chinese version of those sorts of jokes are when Westerners get kanji tattoos that don't quite mean what they thought. I think it's fine as long as it doesn't get mean-spirited or personal.

    --
    Irony: Agile development has too much intertia to be abandoned now.
  19. Re:A Language With No Rules... by gnasher719 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Nowadays, it's very likely someone using somewhat broken English on the internet simply doesn't speak it as a primary language. The way I figure it, I'm pretty sure their command of my language is a heck of a lot more impressive than my command of theirs. If I'm conversing with someone and they apologize for their poor English, I'll often pull out this quip to reassure them that not everyone is so shallow as to nitpick about stuff like that.

    Oh bugger off. I can see from a mile whether some unreadable rubbish is produced by a lazy, uneducated American or by someone who is learning the language. Bloody Americans who don't know the difference between their, there and they're never apologize for it.

    However, since there are indeed many people on the internet whose first language isn't English, you should realize that using improper English makes it a lot harder for these people to understand you, and in the worst case they learn improper English from you. So being lazy and using improper English is impolite to the extreme.

  20. Re:A Language With No Rules... by Rei · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Ah, the old "American English is a corruption of good pure British English" attitude. Sorry, but both languages have been devolving from their divergence point, neither is more pure than the other. For example, British English is non-rhotic (r-dropping), while except in a few regional accents (ex: Boston), American English isn't. 17th century English was rhotic, like American English; people weren't going around saying "hard" and "yard" as "haad" and "yaad". American English retains secondary stresses more, for example "secretary" and "dictionary" rather than "secretr'y" and "dictionr'y". American English also has little T-glottalization, like 17th century English, while modern British English does it heavily (ex: "city" as "ci-ey"). The more cockney you sound, the less you sound like a 17th century English speaker. As for vowels, American English wins some of those comparisons and loses others - but for example the american A in words like "cat" and "path" is historic, unlike the British pronunciations which match the a in "father" (of course, if you want to go even further on accuracy, Scottish English retains the historic vowel pronunciation better than both British and American English - something I think most Brits would be loathe to admit. ;) )

    Langauge shifts usually happen faster in urban environments than rural ones. Here in Iceland, for example, one sees the same thing with the countryside accents much closer to historical accents than that of the Reykjavík metro area. Throughout much of its history, the US was a sparsely populated agricultural country, while the UK was industrialized and urban. In fact, one word that is still used commonly used in British english - "reckon" - is largely looked down on as hick talk in the US, in that its use has significantly declined from its historic commonness in American urban environments in the past century but has been retained in rural ones. Counterbalancing the historic rural nature of the US was the significant need for new words, having been thrust into a very different environment. Both sides of the pond met with heavy interaction with people speaking foreign languages and adopted words from them, although the levels of exposure to each language and words borrowed were different.

    Anyway, if you're curious, one can find a number of other evolutions from 17th century English here, both on the American and British sides.

    --
    "TAMS shouldn't be destroyed. They should just tag us before releasing us into the wild." -- Maeglin
  21. Re:A Language With No Rules... by pr0nbot · · Score: 4, Funny

    From the z in apologize I'd think we're dealing with an American troll.

    Your's,

    The Grammar Nasi