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Corporation Investigates Spurious Signal -- What They Found Will Shock You

Posted by Soulskill on from the your-chest-will-swell-with-pride dept.

Mother_01101 writes: The Weyland-Yutani Corporation announced today one of the most fantastic discoveries in human existence: alien life! Colony LV-426 made first contact, and one of W-Y Corp's long-term research vessels, Nostromo, has gone to provide assistance and bring these life forms home to engage in peaceful learning and negotiation. Initial reports from Nostromo indicate all has gone well, though they're now under radio silence for security purposes. W-Y Corp says they will, of course, honor all quarantine procedures and do everything they can to make sure the transition goes smoothly. Their CEO reminded us: "Safety is paramount!"

12 of 85 comments (clear)

  1. Not funny... by rioki · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Even though its April 1st... This is not funny.

    1. Re:Not funny... by NotDrWho · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Somewhere along the way, the "writers" that foist these lame stories missed that the whole point of April Fools Day is to actually FOOL people (with stories that are plausible enough to sucker some people in). Any idiot can write a fake story. But a good fake story that's actually just plausible enough to have people repeating it and believing it, THAT'S what it's about.

      --
      SJW's don't eliminate discrimination. They just expropriate it for themselves.
    2. Re:Not funny... by Bob+the+Super+Hamste · · Score: 2

      Well you would think that there would be a market for non lab created but naturally farmed spaghetti raised and harvested in the traditional way on family farms. If there wasn't a market for that stuff why does Whole Foods exist?

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      Time to offend someone
    3. Re:Not funny... by quantaman · · Score: 2

      Even though its April 1st... This is not funny.

      Actually this one had potential in the headline.

      Imagine coming to /. and finding that all the articles written in buzzfeed style, done completely seriously but instead of regular stories having listicles of open source security vulnerabilities and "How this maintainer responded to a kernel patch will make your day!"

      Now that would be some serious April fools satire.

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      I stole this Sig
  2. Weak by dave420 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Just so very, very weak. It pains me to say this, but the ponies thing from a few years back was funnier. Ouch.

  3. clickbait site. by swschrad · · Score: 3, Funny

    ha ha can't fool me, I didn't click.

    oh, wait...

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    if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
  4. Don't read slashdot day by tompaulco · · Score: 2

    Is it "Don't read slashdot" day already? This year is going by fast.

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    If you are not allowed to question your government then the government has answered your question.
  5. Oblig by MeesterCat · · Score: 2

    GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!

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    "I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." ~ Kurt Vonnegut Jnr.
  6. Oh, that's right... by OakDragon · · Score: 3, Informative

    ...today is the day to not bother reading Slashdot.

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    Dark Reflection
  7. Re:They should just by frank_adrian314159 · · Score: 3, Funny

    WHich site? Dice.com or Slashdot.com? Is there a difference any more?

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    That is all.
  8. Head Crabs for everyone! by Lumpy · · Score: 2

    It seems that the head crabs are a side effect of a discovery that Doctor Spock from the USS enterprise made late last year.

    Let the OCD nerds start foaming at the mouth!

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    Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
  9. There's only one way to stop this crap by ArcadeMan · · Score: 2

    Nuke Slashdot from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

    Note to Dice: Slashdot needs to have NERD pranks, not lame science-fiction references passed as faux news. This is only funny for stupid people in your marketing department. PLEASE STOP.

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