Slashdot Mirror
It's Time To Open Your Eyes
Morpheus writes:
Good morning. I'm talking to you. Yes, you. The one with the squeaking chair and the monitor that needs cleaning. Right now you're wondering why your officemates haven't mentioned the weird story on Slashdot's front page. They haven't mentioned it because they can't see it. Not everyone can accept reality as it is. But you can.
You know. You've always known. The things you see, the things you hear, and smell — they aren't any more real than your dreams. You've drifted through life so far wondering when you're going to wake up. But you don't have to wonder anymore. This is your alarm clock. The only decision you have left to make — the only decision you've ever had to make — is whether you want to wake up, or turn it off and drift back to sleep. In exactly two minutes, your phone is going to ring. If you want to open your eyes, to be born into a world more real than you've ever imagined.. answer it.
You know. You've always known. The things you see, the things you hear, and smell — they aren't any more real than your dreams. You've drifted through life so far wondering when you're going to wake up. But you don't have to wonder anymore. This is your alarm clock. The only decision you have left to make — the only decision you've ever had to make — is whether you want to wake up, or turn it off and drift back to sleep. In exactly two minutes, your phone is going to ring. If you want to open your eyes, to be born into a world more real than you've ever imagined.. answer it.
How else did he know about my monitor and my chair.
Alice in Wonderland isn't the only one tripping! ~ #Whiterabbit_Foo!
Of all the things I've lost; I miss my mind the most. - Mark Twain
A couple of them? Cool, funny, etc.
Posting them non-stop while you dredge every corner of sci-fi? It's like being rick-rolled, geek-style (shit... now /. is going to post one of those, I just know it...)
Seriously guys, this is becoming irritating.
It's ONE day of the year!
Seriously. Get a life. Read another website for today. Do some damned WORK.
The rest of us actually enjoythis.
Now shut up or we'll bring back the My Little Ponies theme...
Systemd has coalesced with /. beta and has begun rampaging on the Seattle coast line. Fishmongers are running for their lives but have as yet still not dropped a cod!
"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K
I answered it and got a busy signal.
I used to come to Slashdot all the time (I only visit occasionally, because I got mad when they pulled the whole BETA thing) as a way to take some time away from work and catch up on tech news, maybe learn something. But every single flippin' April fools you get tons of these obnoxious stories. If anything interesting really does happen, I never believe it either (great day for someone to do something evil as noone will believe it actually happened.) Then to add insult to injury, you get all the bozos who start submitting the jokes early and then late. So basically there becomes a 3 day block (3/31, 4/1 and 4/2) where almost none of the stories have any actual content.
You do realize, of course, that trying to guess which stories are "real" (but which reel?), and which are "jokes" is part of the "fun" for the rest of us who are not humor-challenged.
/. Beta is further proof that you are an alien Pod, rather than a true and proper member of the /. "community"...
And the fact that you actually liked
Oblig: https://xkcd.com/566/
You're enjoying an endless stream of "stories" which are nothing more than references to books and movies?
Sorry, but this is like being told knock knock jokes by a four year old, it's just tedious and pathetic.
These stories aren't hoaxes or pranks, they're just drivel.
Actually, it is people like you who are "tedious and pathetic".
The references provide a shared framework and a starting-point for humor that is generally enjoyable by most "geeks" or "nerds".
So, if you are not enjoying it, then the inference is obvious. So, kindly turn-in your Geek Card now, and leave the rest of us to enjoy our drivel.
Being a geek was ever cool? I would say that now it is the "in" thing, but I don't believe it was ever cool to be a geek.
APK likes to ask for responses to the same things over and over. Maybe he just likes the responses?
We're all unemployed, you insensitive clod!
So, think about it more closely. H1-Bs now have your jobs. And are slacking off while working and reading Slashdot. But the April 1st jokes are not funny, and the H1-Bs do not understand them. So, they are not laughing like you used to.
So . . . you win!
I think.
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
Sorry, son, but I've had my geek card for over 30 years now. Nobody gets to take it back.
I'm all for some good humor, but what soulskill is doing is beyond lame.
April fools day is about hoaxes and pranks ... not thinly disguised click-bait and attention whoring by a lame editor who thinks he's funny.
The BCC convincing people about the annual spaghetti harvest? Priceless, timeless, and awesome.
Ten stories which are blatant references to popular fiction? A pathetic cry for help (or, in this case, ad revenue).
These are so damned weak as to just be pointless. Like I said, knock knock jokes from a 4 year old.
Lost at C:>. Found at C.
you are a cunt.
No. I just checked. I'm still a Dick.
My phone actually did ring exactly 2 minutes after I read this!
it was my boss wanting a status update. Is this some secret code? What does his call REALLY mean?
This is what I was thinking... Nerd Herd, Geek Squad... who would want that title for a job?
I never needed a geek card or a man card or anything like that, cuz I determine who I am. No one else gets to bestow or take things away from me, just like no body puts baby in the corner.
There is no wire.
Momento Mori