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Yahoo Called Its Layoffs a "Remix." Don't Do That.
Nerval's Lobster writes: Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, in a conference call with reporters and analysts, referred to the net layoffs of 1,100 employees in the first quarter of 2015 as part of a 'remixing' of the company. A 'remix' is a term most often applied to songs, although it's also appropriate to use in the context of photographs, films, and artwork. CEOs rarely use it to describe something as momentous as a major enterprise's transition, especially if said transition involves layoffs of longtime employees, because it could potentially appear flippant to observers. If you run your own shop (no matter how large), it always pays to choose words as carefully as possible when referring to anything that affects your employees' lives and careers. Despite a renewed focus on mobile and an influx of skilled developers and engineers, Yahoo still struggles to define its place on the modern tech scene; that struggle is no more evident than in the company's most recent quarterly results, which included rising costs, reduced net income, and layoffs.
Because male CEOs never use stupid euphemisms for layoffs.
It's just a euphemism. I remember working for a company that started embracing offshoring, which they called "right-shoring." Layoffs were called "right-sizing." And the executives were called "cunts." Amazing how just a little "word-smithing" can make things sound better than they really are, huh?
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But....but....but all my SJW friends said she would rejuvenate the company with her Super Vagina.
Are you sure they didn't say she would "remix" the company instead?
For your security, this post has been encrypted with ROT-13, twice.
I wonder if she's still lobbying for more H1B's to fill all those piles of unfilled jobs that Yahoo supposedly has.
SJW's don't eliminate discrimination. They just expropriate it for themselves.
I wonder what is coming next, hiring good 'ol Carly Fiorina as "Chief Vision Officer" or something like that? I'm sure that'd improve morale greatly. That worked out so well for HP. (Not that their subsequent two CEO's were much of an improvement...)
Where do CEO's learn to talk like this? Weren't they ever front-line employees who rolled their eyes at the exec-speak? (Judging from the breathless and sycophantic comments I see posted on my company's intranet to every word from our Fearless Leaders, I'd say no.)
...since apparently common sense, intelligence, sensitivity and interpersonal skills are not prerequisites for being a CEO of a global company anymore.
Kinda makes me wonder what relevant skills she actually does have.
CEOs like to use special language because they are all sociopaths and have trouble with the truth.
“Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire
I have some suggestions for additional terminology. An unprofitable quarter (so in other words, all of them) could just be called "dippin'" Then accidentally serving up crytowall malware through their ad network could be "trippin'" and buying out a company that they think is hot and turns out to be a complete nosedive could be called...um...not really sure on that one but Marissa Mayer is a freaking idiot. Maybe they could call it that. Call it a "Marissa Mayer" when someone royally screws up and loses a ton of money.
It was probably suggest by HR, which we all know is populated by people of undetermined gender and questionable intelligence.
When Fascism comes to America, it will call itself Anti-Fascism, and tell you to give up your guns.
A company's one thing. Just be thankful there's no chance of one running the country.
Hang on a minute...
No, hang on another minute...
Shit, gimme a beer.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Serious question: what does Yahoo! do that earns them money? I honestly can't name anything off the top of my head.
They own some percentage of Alibaba. It's seriously something like 110% of their net worth - people have said that, without it, Yahoo! is actually worth less than $0.
#DeleteChrome
Finance.yahoo.com, is also dying. Thank you CEO Marissa Mayer, you have taken what used to be a valuable and interesting resource for investors and completely fucking ruined it.
Regarding Yahoo mail, since you can't take your yahoo email to another server, exactly what are we supposed to do with what is for many of us what we consider our permanent email address. I don't want to tell all my contacts to find me at a new address every time a new domain becomes popular. Then again, I don't want any more job related spam their so Gmail is welcome to it. It only helps with my efforts to make sure Google's algorithms think I'm a good little soldier that only cares about work. Yahoo has gotten a worse rap than it deserves. Just because the media latches on to Google doesn't mean there is something lacking in the competition. I've had my email there for over two decades and I've never had to contact support for anything, they must do a few things right. If I go anywhere with my real mail I'd have to consider Hushmail. Lack of privacy is my only real complaint about yahoo mail.
Replacing tech workers with H1bs is apparently under investigation. I am confident that it will not stop that program. More likely to be effective is to show companies that their new, cheap H1bs are prone to transfer company IP to competitors.
Being laid off sucks. You may well be relatively confident that you have a new job in the works, but all the capital you might have gained in that company is over, save for perhaps, some references you can get if you didn't piss off your managers or co-workers and maybe some non-worthless options.
It also can come at inopportune times for your financial situation. It is a pain in the ass to get a loan for a new house when you haven't been in a new job for very long, and that's even when you chose to move jobs for a bigger paycheck, and so should be able to be more capable, rather than less capable of paying the bills.
More to the point, despite it being just "business", you wonder how you ended up on the selection list. Even if you're relatively sure that it wasn't merit-based retention, layoff time is when managers remove people who they couldn't justify outright firing, but are more than happy to throw to the wolves when the reaper requests his quota.
And of course, finally, while there may be many jobs out there on average, it is very possible that you're too expensive or too old, or your skills were too specific to get you a comparable position elsewhere. And it is known you were laid off and need a new job, there is a real chance you'll get lowballed. You can be up shit creek if that happens and you have a family to support who were relying on every last dime you made to support them.
tl;dr Having more job opportunities available only makes being laid off suck slightly less. If you had wanted a new job, you'd have gone and gotten one yourself.
"Yahoo still struggles to define its place on the modern tech scene...." Maybe, just maybe, Yahoo has no place, and investors would be better served if the company was liquidated and their money returned.
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
To her credit, when the employees complained about them being stack ranked at a general meeting (i.e. they vote who is the worse in every team and then fire them), she categorically denied it was stack ranking with no explanations and then proceeded to read a children's book to everyone. That showed a lot of respect to...
No wait...
http://www.businessinsider.com...
A company's one thing. Just be thankful there's no chance of one running the country.
Hang on a minute...
No, hang on another minute...
Shit, gimme a beer.
So far, the alternatives are a garden gnome from Canada, I mean, Texas, an ophthalmologist that can't spell "education" from Kentucky, or a really thirsty Floridian.
(That beer is looking mighty refreshing...)
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
12 years into my career and I've never been fired it laid off. Maybe you need to rethink how good you think you are?
If you never fail, you aren't trying ambitious enough projects, or you're sandbagging. If you're not occasionally pissing off managers, you're not doing your job as a senior engineer. Sometimes you get a petty manager who only wants minions and finds an excuse to remove you. *shrug* If you're good, you move to a better job.
I do interesting project the right way, and I target aggressive schedules. I tell managers when they're full of shit. If that's not right for a company, I'll be leaving eventually, one way or another. Why work at a crap company?
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
Vote Sam Adams?
Rip. Mix. Burn.
I see a pattern here. I used to be a frequent user of Flickr, paying Pro account, using it as a primary photo storage and such. After a wave of arrogant, user-hostile redesigns, I have noticed that many of my contacts stopped to come and finally after - as we could label it now - a repulsive "UI remix" two years ago, I too stopped coming. So big congratulations to MM - laying off the customers is quite a feat!
Your view on this is quite absurd. No-one should get fired for occasionally "pissing off" a manager or trying an ambitious project. If you get fired over this, and find that acceptable, I suggest you look up the definition of Stockholm Syndrome.
12 years into my career and I've never been fired it laid off. Maybe you need to rethink how good you think you are?
If you never fail, you aren't trying ambitious enough projects, or you're sandbagging. If you're not occasionally pissing off managers, you're not doing your job as a senior engineer. Sometimes you get a petty manager who only wants minions and finds an excuse to remove you. *shrug* If you're good, you move to a better job.
I do interesting project the right way, and I target aggressive schedules. I tell managers when they're full of shit. If that's not right for a company, I'll be leaving eventually, one way or another. Why work at a crap company?
As is usual on slashdot, you are generalising from your own situation.
The truth is that, for most people, a job is just something that lets you eat and pay your bills, and the concept of "interesting" is just a handy bonus rather than a necessity.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
Or you could vote for a former doctor who is willing to get arrested supporting her cause, who is anti-war, pro-pot, pro-environment, and not in the pockets of a single corporation:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jill_Stein