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Psychologist: Porn and Video Game Addiction Are Leading To 'Masculinity Crisis'
HughPickens.com writes: Philip Zimbardo is a prominent psychologist from Stanford, most notable for leading the notorious Stanford prison experiment. He has published new research findings based on the lives of 20,000 young men, and his conclusion is stark: there is a developing "masculinity crisis" caused by addiction to video games and pornography. "Our focus is on young men who play video games to excess, and do it in social isolation — they are alone in their room," says Zimbardo. "It begins to change brain function. It begins to change the reward center of the brain, and produces a kind of excitement and addiction. What I'm saying is — boys' brains are becoming digitally rewired."
As an example, Zimbardo uses this quote from one young man: "When I'm in class, I'll wish I was playing World of Warcraft. When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography, because I'll never get rejected." Zimbardo doesn't think there's a specific time threshold at which playing video games goes from being acceptable to excessive. He says it varies by individual, and is more based on a "psychological change in mindset." To fight the problem, he suggest families need to track how much time is being spent on video games compared to other activities. "He also called for better sex education in schools — which should focus not only on biology and safety, but also on emotions, physical contact and romantic relationships."
As an example, Zimbardo uses this quote from one young man: "When I'm in class, I'll wish I was playing World of Warcraft. When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography, because I'll never get rejected." Zimbardo doesn't think there's a specific time threshold at which playing video games goes from being acceptable to excessive. He says it varies by individual, and is more based on a "psychological change in mindset." To fight the problem, he suggest families need to track how much time is being spent on video games compared to other activities. "He also called for better sex education in schools — which should focus not only on biology and safety, but also on emotions, physical contact and romantic relationships."
As much as people laugh at the Men Going Their Own Way movement, there is a growing number of men who feel that it is not worth the effort to put up with today's rapidly-changing standards of manhood.
He also called for better sex education in schools
When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography, because I'll never get rejected.
Sex education does nothing to solve the real issues these Peter Pans are suffering. I'm pretty sure that the guy in the quote knows all about how "sex" works, probably in more detail than is actually needed.
Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
It begins to change the reward center of the brain, and produces a kind of excitement and addiction. What I'm saying is — boys' brains are becoming digitally rewired...."When I'm in class, I'll wish I was playing World of Warcraft. When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography, because I'll never get rejected."
Ok, I'll bite. It seems to me that the brain is just doing what it is supposed to do - adapt to the environment it is confronted with.
The changes in rewards go far beyond the brain. As a society in the US at least we've greatly limited the options kids have when they graduate from college, so there is little true reward for spending time studying. Likewise, there is little benefit from having kids - they're a huge expense, and a major legal entanglement when that girl decides to reject you after you have the kid.
If you want kids to study and get married, then you need to reward them from doing so - and not just in their brains.
Or, we need to question why we want kids to do those things in the first place. Why is it so important that boys and girls get happily married? If the boys are just as happy alone, why not let them be happy alone? The obvious answer is so that we can have lots of babies running around, but I'm not really sure why it is so important that we have lots of babies running around either. We used to have them out of self-interest so that they could care for us in old age. With increases in productivity it is more likely that we'll end up caring for them in old age.
When I'm in class, I'll wish I was playing World of Warcraft. When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography, because I'll never get rejected.
And when I'm at work I wish that I was home watching TV with a beer in my hand.
Also, rock'n'roll causes people to act immoral!
And stop promoting promiscuity, which causes all sorts of emotional damage in the long term. Instead, let's promote loving relationships, sexual or otherwise.
I'm not saying people shouldn't have premarital sex. I'm just saying that people shouldn't hook up with someone they met in a club or give it up on the first date.
Same with porn. A little from time to time is fine. Watching really kinky stuff or watching it multiple times a day is not healthy.
If there was more love in the world, there would be fewer problems, like single mothers, high divorce rates, and teenage pregnancies. But our school systems promote "sexual freedom", codewords for promiscuous behaviour. Let's change that by finding a middle ground between the conservative abstinence only bullshit and this liberal sex everywhere bullshit.
Amen.
That, and the free market. TFS puts it in plain sight: "I wish i was watching porn because I'll never get rejected [by porn]". So, suffering a male suitor shortage, women will lower their standards and rejection rates will go down. This will push more men back into old fashioned fornication. See, Adam Smith can really solve anything.
I don't think there are many guys out there, video game addicts or otherwise, who would prefer masturbation to porn over sex with someone they like, trust, and feel comfortable with. The problem is, as Mr. Zimbardo alludes, we don't demystify sex for kids so that it becomes a regular life experience. If you never get anything more than an awkward biological overview of sex from school it will, at least for many boys, remain this mysterious, anxiety-provoking, forbidden fruit. Some magic experience that women zealously keep locked up in the castle. Porn is nothing more than a safe, artificial side-channel outlet for temporary relief of sexual frustration. It's lame but it is also understandable.
tl;dr - Our society sucks when it comes to preparing kids for sexual maturity.
the excessive use of video games and online pornography is pushing young men into a crisis of masculinity that leaves them bored at school, disinterested in human contact, and opting out of society.
Bullshit. Kids are bored at school because schools have been redesigned into standardized testing mills that cater to the lowest common denominator through inadequate funding and overzealous administrators. Theyre 'disinterested in human contact' because every single friend and acquaintence is manifest immediately in this neat new tool called the internet, and its generally only a pocket away. Theyre not opting out of society, theyre opting out of your idea of society. two failed wars have left them with limbless parents and friends that sit in the basement and eat cold canned raviolis. An entire generation has been shunned from the labour market because the adults they trust squandered through greed and hubris the future of society. And things they dont care about like abortion, gay marriage bans, and contraception have suddenly and inexplicably become the only thing in the last decade theyre forced to care about. theyre opting out because your pepperidge farm andy roony wank fest does not exist while a world of perpetual debt under minimum wage absolutely does.
Good people go to bed earlier.
Porn doesn't invent tests to see if you really love them. Porn doesn't create drama. Porn doesn't leave dirty dishes in the sink. Porn is whatever you want it to be. You want a blonde with big tits today and a redhead with little tits tomorrow? No problem.
The birth control pill created the sexual revolution by liberating women from the need to hitch themselves to a man to care for them and their child. Now instant access to vast libraries or pornography is liberating men from the need to hitch themselves to a woman for sexual satisfaction. The main difference is that when women were "liberated" from men it was called progress, but when men are liberated from women it is labeled a mental defect.
I think the masculinity crisis might be in this guys pants. I mean shit, insert replace WoW with golf, and porn with expensive prostitute, and you have the macho alpha bro shark that is supposed to be the goal of the man.
He's looking at the symptoms and declaring them to be the problem without any real understanding of the underlying causes.
Guys focusing on video games and porn are a natural result in a society which is heavily biased in favor of women. Hell, I'd rather avoid dealing with women romantically too, given all the risks involved. All it takes is the mere accusation of rape, and a man's life can be torn to shreds. But even beyond that, we see a legal system completely set against men; custody, domestic violence, divorce? All stacked against men.
So more men are choosing porn and forgoing women. Seems like a perfectly rational response to me.
Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
And really, why would young men take the risks? Not only is there an easy way out (that you lament), but there's also very little in the risk-benefit department. The demands on boys are insane: Treat women as equals, but provide for the family, but share responsibility for the kids and don't forget quality time with the wife, but forget about seeing the kids when the wife gets a divorce, but keep paying for the kids. Check your privilege, you're the reason why women clutch their purses and switch to the other side of the road, but be masculine and decisive, but ask for explicit consent, but make sure she really means it and won't change her mind, but don't be whipped. Fact is, a very large percentage of women are best avoided, not made sacrifices for, and I mean because they're bad for anyone, not just you. Yes, dating is a numbers game, but it looks like it has a big Russian roulette component lately.
They then both called the guy "an idiot".
They missed the fact that SHE could have asked him out. It's the 21st century, not the 18th century.
The reason guys spend all their time playing video games instead of out is that the video games are better than real life. Women expect men to be the 50's guy - bring flowers, etc. But they don't want to be the 50's girl.
The crisis in Masculinity is concurrent with a crisis of femininity. They feed off each other like a viscous cycle. As long our culture continues to complain about men not acting like it thinks men should act - all the while encouraging women to do what they want, we will have no progress on this issue.
Please note, I am not saying that women should act like a 50's girl. They are free to act like a modern woman. But don't complain about what men do and ignore what women do. (In fact, I think women should act like a modern women - and includes asking men out and buying them dinner for a first date. You want equality, you have to actually act equal, not insist on special treatment).
excitingthingstodo.blogspot.com
Idk, my girlfriend of five years just spend all weekend (approx 30 hours of game time) playing Path of Exile with me, in the new 1 month challenge league.
She's been having me teach her things so she can improve in League of Legends, and wants to get as good as I am so we can duoqueue together in ranked.
There definitely are girls out there who are looking for nerds/gamers. The problem is most of them are subjected to so many supercreepy "oh there's a girl in voice chat in this raid I'm going to queue my mic and begin masturbating" and "white knight everything she says or does and follow her around like a puppy dog" type "gamer guys" that they're terrified of going anywhere near the rest of us nerds.
I got lucky and found a girl who had been sheltered from online gaming, she had only played Nintendo games prior to meeting me.
If nerds/gamers want to find women who won't reject them, they need to stop being awful people to every girl playing games first. Once gamer girls feel safe actually admitting to being girls in games online, gamer guys won't be rejected en masse by them anymore.
Ive dated a lot of women who it turns out are looking for the "cowboy" type or the "biker" type or the "go chiefs" type. And are unhappy with me because i havent subscribed to any of these store-bought personality templates.
I prefer to just be who i am. A multifaceted individual with a wide variety of interests and hobbies.
Women HATE that.
Here's the thing. Women are just as screwed up as men. However, in a slightly different way.
Most women are initially attracted to 'the "cowboy" type or the "biker" type or the "go chiefs" type'. Though I'm not sure if it's an inherent thing, or learned. But they almost never want you to actually be that way long term. They want to turn you into that "multifaceted individual", not actually be that way from the start.
Don't get me wrong, as men, we're just as screwed up as to what we're attracted to and what we want too.
"When I'm in class, I'll wish I was playing World of Warcraft."
So would it be better if he said "When I'm in class, I wish I was playing baseball" or "fishing" or "out working on my car"?
Being a 47-year old man myself, I'm not so old that I can't remember that wishing I wasn't doing whatever crappy thing I had to be doing isn't pretty much the ground-state of any adolescent.
"When I'm with a girl, I'll wish I was watching pornography, because I'll never get rejected."
Meh, I think porn is a symptom, not the cause. I'd say what he's observing is a thing, but is a transient result of a (historically) momentary discontinuity between sexualism and sexual availability.
We live in a society where womens' sexualization is complete: it's a (pardon the term) naked commodity, and in which its use as a lever for commercial exploitation is constant. The primal urge for sex in young men is, I suspect, unchanged from history, yet now they're like starving men walking down a street of bakeries, candy shops, and restaurants all taunting them with what they want. At the same time, REAL women (as opposed to the ones flaunting themselves for commercial gain - you don't think those girls in the Axe commercial are doing that because they really feel that way, do you?) are more empowered than ever to demand a level of respect and consideration in the relationship making the sexual negotiation ever more complex for a stupid, single-minded, priapistically-driven young man. Porn and masturbation are the only sexuality he can control, is it any wonder that sometimes he wishes it was as simple as the movies make it seem?
It's the old conundrum between offense and defense. At this time, one side has all the advantages, is it any wonder that sometimes the other side doesn't want to play as much?
-Styopa
Claiming normal male behaviour is a disease.
Da fuq?
How did *that* get modded insightful. Being completely addicted to anything, no matter how harmless in moderation (games, porn, alcohol, other drugs) etc is generally considered to be a bad thing.
It's certainly not "normal male behaviour".
I think the only reason this post got modded informative is because anything that takes a dig at feminists on slashdot gets modded up no matter how batshit crazy.
SJW n. One who posts facts.
And it has since the beginning of "civilization".
The top 10% of men in genetics or wealth get all of the benefits. The bottom 90% get to die in wars and in mines and in workplace accidents, supporting the harems and lifestyles of their "betters". If they don't die they go home to a woman who wishes she were still young and pretty enough to bag one of the alphas and she takes it out on him daily. His kids, coworkers and relatives don't respect him because for the last 50 years the western advertising machine has been propagating the message that the average man is boring, tedious, and disposable.
Unlike reality videogames generally give you guaranteed reward for the amount of time you put into them. And competition is fundamentally fair since everyone starts at the same place. As opposed to reality where your ending status is very much determined by your starting status.
Some men just aren't born to compete, and don't have the innate resilience to keep trying despite repeated failures. That doesn't mean those men are less deserving of happiness and satisfaction and peace, they just have to find their own and ignore the bullshit that "society" keeps heaping on them.
Zimbardo isn't a feminist, and I wouldn't put my money on him being taken in by feminist propaganda.
However, I think his study is missing some significant elements. He is too quick to postulate the cause-and-effect relationship. Other psychologists have shown that overcrowding also causes voluntary social isolation. Bullying and other such environmental factors also drive people to prefer solitary entertainment. I think the addiction to video games is as much an effect as it is a cause in a whole cluster of social events.
I will point out that a common belief among men in America, be it true or false, is that women:
1) are very demanding in romantic relationships.
2) are not very giving in romantic relationships.
3) are fickle and will leave you as soon as they get bored (with no concern over how much of an emotional attachment you have to them).
4) are not interested in much of anything that men find engaging, and won't join men in men's lives so much as pull men out into the woman's lives.
Maybe this is different for millennials or younger. I don't know. But I do know plenty of geeks who feel this way about women and all have stories to back it up. They don't even bother trying to seek romance because they see it as an uphill battle with no prize at the end. The games and porn are an easy way to fill the time instead.
Actually, the golden rule is, 'Treat others the way you would want to be treated yourself'.
Think about that in context.
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
The golden rule: If you are attracted to an attractive woman's body, you are a pervert and a pig.
Uh, no. If you are attracted to an attractive woman's body, and then you make an ass of yourself over it, whistling at her, making crude remarks to your friends, or making unwanted physical advances, then you are a pervert and a pig.
It's really not complicated.
No one should be surprised.
...and no one should be surprised they said "Screw that noise."
Millennial males have looked. They examined and considered the state of today's courtship, relationships, pertinent legal conditions/rulings/precedent, cost-effort, culture - even WITHOUT including the femmifrenzy of the last year or two...
The female experience will overlap on some of the second paragraph's points, so some decrease of interest on the other side would also be unsurprising.
Pr0n 'n gaemz are a symptom of the bullshit. They aren't a perfectly matching peg, but apparently the substitution is adequate.
You sound addicted to video games and porn.
Required reading for internet skeptics
What is needed, is to teach young men, how to get into the mindset of women, what they need to say, and how to 'project' themselves so they can get laid more.
Young men need to be taught it is a numbers game, Don't get hung up on one chick. When out, dress decently, be clean, and above all else, project confidence in yourself. You don't have to be that confident, just look at act that way. Act like you really don't give a shit if she wants you or not...be a bit aloof.
They always want what is a bit tough for them to have. Take control of the situation, decide where you're going. Nothing wrong with being polite, opening doors, etc....but take charge.
When you do approach and start talking, just learn some simple tricks...get THEM to talk about themselves, about their family...what they want and what they do. That way you don't have to really do that much for the conversation. And trust me, NO woman ever left a date complaining that she talked too much about herself.
Simple steps like that are what makes it easy to get into her pants. And don't just target ONE girl. There are tons of them out there. Rejection can and WILL happen, but shrug it off and start to hit on her friend...hahaha. But seriously, just hit on as many as possible. And meet and approach women whenever and wherever you can. Outside of the bar scene is really choice. Simple as asking for the time, just approach, approach, approach.
And if you're shy, and everyone starts out that way. Just walk up to women during the day, ask for the time...just think of it as practice....just talk to them. It doesn't even have to be one you want for anything, just practice.
It isn't that hard, especially if you get over that feeling of "oh no, if she rejects me, I'll not know what to do the rest of my life.". Get a new mindset, hit on one you like, if it sticks have fun with it....if not, water off your back, she didn't matter...who's next?
I'm not saying be an ass...but don't be the overly willing to please guy that will do anything for her and lets her call the shots. If you do that, you may as well be her gay friend, 'cause she's not going to sleep with you. Women like a challenge....be a bit of a challenge.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.........
No, the golden rule is: if you have the gold, you make the rules.
Circumcision is child abuse.
The "conclusions" of "abnormal behavior" were made from observations that kids would rather be at home playing instead of sitting in a class AND from the fact that young humans will seek sexual satisfaction but avoid rejection.
That sounds like something a ROBOT might find strange.
Not a human being. Particularly not one who actually went through puberty at some point in their life.
In short... like most psychology studies out there, this too is most probably bullshit.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
Wrong. Women would rather share a high-ranking male than lower their standards to a lower-ranking one. Which is why through human history the majority of men didn't reproduce.
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