Slashdot Mirror
Al-Qaeda's Job Application Form Revealed
HughPickens.com writes: ABC News reports that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence has released a list of English-language material recovered during the raid the killed Osama bin Laden in Abbottabad, Pakistan in 2011 including one document dubbed "Instructions to Applicants," that would not be entirely out of place for an entry-level position at any American company – except for questions like the one about the applicant's willingness to blow themselves up. The questionnaire includes basic personal details, family history, marital status, and education level. It asks that applicants "answer the required information accurately and truthfully" and, "Please write clearly and legibly." Questions include: Is the applicant expert in chemistry, communications or any other field? Do they have a family member in the government who would cooperate with al Qaeda? Have they received any military training? Finally, it asks what the would-be jihadist would like to accomplish and, "Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?" For the final question, the application asks would-be killers that if they were to become martyrs, who should al Qaeda contact?
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
The corporate tone of the application is jarringly amusing, writes Amanda Taub, but it also hints at a larger truth: a terrorist organization like al-Qaeda is a large bureaucratic organization, albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people. Jon Sopel, the North American editor from BBC News, joked that the application "looks like it has been written by someone who has spent too long working for Deloitte or Accenture, but bureaucracy exists in every walk of life – so why not on the path to violent jihad?"
I always wondered where the Cobra employees came from. Now I know.
That is hardly exclusive to Al-Qaeda. You are tagged by the direction you point your gun.
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family
The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions
Wherever You Go, There You Are
Are we sure corporations didn't get their recruiting style from jihadists and crusaders?
Corporations just tend to be a little more subtle about their attitudes to the human pawns they exploit to subvert enlightened civilization.
Why is "business" in quotation marks? This is a business. Al-Qaeda and ISIS are brand names, just like DuPont and AT&T. Financed by big money from around the world. That would most likely include your favorite financial institution.
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
"Do you wish to execute a suicide operation?"
So what's the state of their pension scheme and healthcare package?
politicians are like babies' nappies: they should both be changed regularly and for the same reasons
It does seem like they'd try not to leave a paper trail of 'employees' but then again it'd be difficult to tell if someone was a spy if you didn't have a paper trail on them.
I don't think this is really that shocking at all, it's not like they just walk up and say 'hi i want to al qaeda lol' then get sent off with important information or some such.
Those who only fill out forms and proceed with following the bureaucratic standards of proper practice and regulation.
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes, and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Its not like corporations are a democracy anyway.
These 'applicants' would probably never consider the path to jihad if they had a decent job and the ability to earn a living to raise a family
The unemployment rates are 27% with even higher rates for people in their twenties
The application takes advantage of their desires to have a 'real' job and twists it into continuing strife that does nothing to improve their economic conditions
BULLSHIT.
Jihadi John:
Emwazi was born Muhammad Jassim Abdulkarim Olayan al-Dhafiri[15] on 17 August 1988 in Kuwait[1] to Jassem and Ghaneyah.[14] The family, who were Bedoon of Iraqi origin,[14] moved to UK in 1994 when he was six.[16] They settled in inner west London, moving between several properties in Maida Vale,[17] later living in St John's Wood and finally in Queen's Park.[17][18] Emwazi attended St Mary Magdalene Church of England primary school, and later Quintin Kynaston Community Academy.[3]
In 2006 he went to the University of Westminster, studying Information Systems with Business Management. He secured a lower second-class BSc (Hons) on graduation three years later.[3] At age 21, he worked as a salesman at an IT company in Kuwait and was considered by his boss as the best employee the company ever had.
You are one addle-brained moron.
Osama bin Laden:
Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden[23] was born in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, a son of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden, a billionaire construction magnate with close ties to the Saudi royal family
You UTTER FUCKING FOOL.
https://soylentnews.org/article.pl?sid=15/05/22/1516240
Let's get serious: how well do they pay?
Ayman al-Zawahiri
Ayman al-Zawahiri's parents both came from prosperous families. Ayman's father, Mohammed Rabie al-Zawahiri, came from a large family of doctors and scholars. Mohammed Rabie became a surgeon and a medical professor at Cairo University. Ayman's mother, Umayma Azzam, came from a wealthy, politically active clan.
Mohamed Atta:
Atta was born on September 1, 1968 in Kafr el-Sheikh, located in Egypt's Nile Delta region.[8] His father, Mohamed el-Amir Awad el-Sayed Atta, was a lawyer, educated in both sharia and civil law. His mother, Bouthayna Mohamed Mustapha Sheraqi, came from a wealthy farming and trading family and was also educated. Bouthayna and Mohamed married when she was 14, via an arranged marriage. The family had few relatives on the father's side and kept a distance from Bouthayna's family. In-laws characterized Atta's father as "austere, strict, and private," and neighbors considered the family reclusive.[10] Atta was the only son, but he had two older sisters who are both well-educated and successful in their careers—one as a medical doctor and the other as a professor.[11]
When Atta was ten, his family moved to the Cairo neighborhood of Abdeen, located near the center of the city. Atta's father continued to keep the family private, and did not allow Atta to socialize with other neighborhood children. Atta spent most of his time at home studying, excelling in school.[12][13] In 1985, Atta entered Cairo University, where he studied engineering. As one of the highest-scoring students, Atta was admitted into the very selective architecture program during his senior year
So tell us, you blabbering buffoon, what opportunities did all these jihadi archetypes lack?
Nerds. I suppose this means that nerds are likely applying to join al-qaeda?
This form poped up on net about a week ago and looks fake as hell ..al Qaeda is like grampa with the old ass computer with a dot matrix printer that family has to hunt cartage's down for and isis 4k HD video makeing high gloss pdf magizine makeing teen
Al-Qaeda and ISIS are manufactured FUD, why does media like /. want to further that crap?
A Primer:
http://coursesa.matrix.msu.edu...
A snippet:
This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every State house, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the militaryindustrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.
Akin to, and largely responsible for the sweeping changes in our industrial-military posture, has been the technological revolution during recent decades.
In this revolution, research has become central; it also becomes more formalized, complex, and costly. A steadily increasing share is conducted for, by, or at the direction of, the Federal government.
Today, the solitary inventor, tinkering in his shop, has been overshadowed by task forces of scientists in laboratories and testing fields. In the same fashion, the free university, historically the fountainhead of free ideas and scientific discovery, has experienced a revolution in the conduct of research. Partly because of the huge costs involved, a government contract becomes virtually a substitute for intellectual curiosity. For every old blackboard there are now hundreds of new electronic computers.
The prospect of domination of the nation's scholars by Federal employment, project allocations, and the power of money is ever present
and is gravely to be regarded.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
Al-Faruq has 12 sticks of dynamite in his vest. El-waqui has 4 packs of C4. They trade 3 sticks of dynamite for 1 pack of C4.
a) Did Al-Faruq's vest weight go up or down?
b) How many infidels can each send to hell when they're a martyr?
Awan-Afuqya and Al-Suq Aweenr can destroy 1,000 feet of priceless ancient artifacts in 3.5 hours. Awan-Afuqya alone takes 6 hours. How long would it take Al-Suq to do the job alone?
M'Ballz Es-Hari made 2 IEDs yesterday, and 3 IEDs today. How many IEDs does M'Ballz Es-Hari have?
Divide 80 infidels into 3 groups such that the second group will have twice as many as the first, and the third will have 5 less than the second.
With their jobs I expect the level of life assurance is more important than the salary.
You're taking a few famous ones out of a pool of a whole bunch of guys who just spent the last decade or so building car bombs and ambushing Americans in Afghanistan and Iraq.
So you tell me, you blabbering buffoon, what the fuck are you on about?
"...albeit one in the "business" of mass-murdering innocent people"
That statement is certainly hued by some some hue.
Total number of people killed by Al Qaeda from 1992-2008: ~4400.
http://npsglobal.org/eng/news/29-non-state-actors/1034-al-qaeda-attackss-death-toll-more-than-4400-lives.html
Total number of people killed by U.S. led coalition forces is much much higher by any reasonable inference (just Iraq):
https://www.iraqbodycount.org/analysis/numbers/2011/
Good job w/the research, but I think it misses a point. You could substitute those two w/GWB and Cheney. Sadly, the people cheerleading for everybody to go fight will not be the ones to go bleed. I think (somewhere along the thread) the point was made that if people had access to a decent economy then a career in jihad would be a tough sell.
Of course there are examples of western youth who come for the "adventure" of combat. I have no glib answer for this save "Darwin".
This story has been brought to you by your dice.com overloads.
Which makes it even more disturbing...
Wonder that the health benefits are like. :P
The causes and effects are perfectly clear. We just choose to ignore them in our pursuit of global, interconnected world which shares common values. The US, UK, France and others want those values to be theirs, or at least close to theirs even if those values are all different from each other.
Some want to convert us, some want to kill us, some want to think like us, some want to fuck us; it's all nonsense, identity seeking garbage with distracts us from solving the material issues and moving onwards from stone age ancestry worship, and accepting the fact that we have a form of written history now.
Let those who want to destroy their little worlds just do that, rescue the innocent, mop up the mess they have caused after their extinction and let the rest of us just focus on solving bigger problems. A man cannot be helped until he wants to be helped.
As it happens, I'm unemployed right now and extremely (clinically) depressed. (Too bad I can't afford COBRA, so I can't afford the antidepressant I was taking.) And yet--for some bizarre reason--I have not considered the option of murdering a bunch of people who don't share my philosophical views. Maybe I should. Do they offer dental?
Come on. If a bunch of people are one layoff away from going jihadi-apeshit, then there is a problem here quite distinct from whatever economic woes they might face.
And let's face it, however bad things are in Britain, these unemployed proto-jihadis have it a hell of a lot better than I do on this side of the pond, watching my life savings dwindle, several months later still fighting to receive my first unemployment check, with a maximum benefit cap of roughly $4000 (maximum for the year. Not per-payment max.)
I have a certain amount of leftist sympathies, but their strife simply does not warrant their jihad. (And as others have noted, a great many of the terrorists have been middle or upper-middle class.)
Actually, my company did have a question on the application if we were willing to blow ourselves up. It also asked if we had any military training or if we had family members or other connections willing to work with Al Qaeda.
I often wondered why McDonalds wanted to know these things for their fry cooks, but hey I needed the money so I just checked yes to ensure I got the job.
I wonder if they have a fat-ass HR clown drilling them on stupid questions like "well, we are looking for somebody with X years experience in suicide bombing"
I am really sorry for your situation and hope you get medical care that you need and your prospects improve. You raise a good question from your terrible circumstances. Why don't lots of people in terrible circumstances turn to crime or destruction out of the unfairness of their situation? I think that most people even in extreme circumstances are mostly just interested in improving things for themselves and their family. Those people living in the terrible despair of the Palestinian refugee camps or Syria today have all the reason and justification in the world to be terrorists but most of them are not.
Jihadists believe that the people they are killing are in some way interfering with their goals. They generally believe that the land they are fighting in is rightfully theirs, so they see the killing of "infidels" as a righteous cause. It just so happens that the people they are killing are better skilled at selling their own cause to the media that reports the killings.
Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
How do you get references from dead martyrs?
Table-ized A.I.
but runs on logistics!
We live in a nation that was fool enough to elect Baby Bush and in my state the notorious Rick Scott as governor. In such a warped society I do not find it unthinkable that recruits for a nut job cult that enjoys suicides and murders would be here for the asking.
No one in AQ has filled out an application form to work there, there isn't even an AQ so to speak. The only thing this story proves is how fucking stupid and easily manipulated we've become in the west.
FTFY
Or I'd mark you and your parent as "overrated." We don't need this kind of bullshit here or anywhere.
They all have a glass ceiling, that is to say that they lack the room to grow their ambitions and are being sent out to find it
In the case of the notable FEW that you bring up, they were relegated to becoming fat lapdogs, servants of the royal family who could never rise above their 'place'. These were people with ambition who could have taken places of political or corporate leadership in a country that did not give all of those away to the royal family.
Of course leaders need foot soldiers and those come from the ranks of the 20-30 somethings who do not even get the lapdog jobs, they sit at home and take in a huge amount of propaganda about jihad and fighting the western corrupter. There are no jobs for them to start their own families so the become cannon fodder for the wars that the Wahhabis have created for them. These are the people applying in droves with hopes of gaining an income and family, or an honorable death that their families could give value to
It is the intent to keep pressure off of the ensconced leadership by diverting this 'energy' into jihad instead of a long-delayed internal revolution to provide equal opportunities to their people
Wherever You Go, There You Are
Is there real ? maybe hoax, www.teguhhadisantoso.com
a maximum benefit cap of roughly $4000 (maximum for the year. Not per-payment max.)
WTF? State law or you only worked a limited time? Republican in office? That is entirely unacceptable, seriously. I would almost suggest posting a PayPal address but I got bitched at the last time I suggested that though I still made use of it much to the chagrin of the naysayers.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
The more people from the west going to the ME to embark on a supremely stupid quest is a good thing. They and all their ideological madness creates nothing but death and misery. However, once they leave they leave on their quest their passports should be revoked and they should not be allowed back in the country of their origin. Every violent act perpetrated by a terrorist group is nothing but an invitation for western military forces to converge on the area. 9/11 was supposed to encourage US and western countries in general to leave the Muslim lands but that is not exactly what happened. Anyone with half a brain would have realized what would happen in the wake of 9/11. Pissing off the US public has always resulted in the US military being given the go ahead to bring out the big guns and start blowing shit up and killing people while those not involved in the fighting treat war as just another game.
HR at your typical rapacious tech firm or multinational bank. Mind you, telling them apart from ISIS, Al Queda etc is getting harder...
I thought that too and recall a study (from a comment on this site - I am near certain of this being the source of the link and I am certain about the study's conclusion in the abstract) but I decided to verify this and do some searching. I can not find the original study that I read but I did find this and a number of other studies that support that economics and education are insignificant. Link/citation: www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PDF/kruger_mal.pdf
Needless to say, I am surprised with this (and others) study's conclusion but I can not argue with their definitions, methodology, or conclusions. I concede the point as I am unable to find the original study that I read the abstract from. The study itself was behind a paywall so I would likely still concede, even if I could find it, as I am unable to see the full study and at least check the methods and data source(s).
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
I appreciate the thought and sympathy, but I was trying to address that overblown ultra-echochamber-progressive concept of poverty being the main driver of religious terrorism.
I wouldn't complain if someone mentioned a good entry level position for a math-y major thinking about jumping into CS/IT, but I suspect there would be competition.
I applied, but the recruiter insisted I already have five years experience in suicide bombing before he could get me a decent placement.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Listen, if you wanna join Al Qaeda, you have to really hate the Americans.
"I do!"
Oh yeah? How much?
"A lot!"
Right, you're in.
And how many Westerners are that highly educated? How many of the US military troops, besides the higher ranking officers are educated at all? A military requires it's peons, the higher ranking officers, generals and most leaders are highly educated.
Al Qaeda/ISIS was/is the only standing military force in the region but their claimed 'land' is currently divided. They have a cause and a mission, not surprising they're organized. After Hussein, Iraq didn't have much of a military and the US paying a minimum wage to some unemployed people does not a military make, Syria's military was made to kill it's own people so that didn't do well for keeping your military together.
Custom electronics and digital signage for your business: www.evcircuits.com
Button presser extraordinaire
Dinghy 'Captain'
Box truck 'Driver'
Fuse lighter
Foot switch operator
Parking lot attendant briber
U.S. Navy public access schematic reader
skiff load capacity mathematician
I art more snarky, and terse than thou. I art Slashdot!
It may be worth clicking the Jobs link at the bottom of the page.
"So long and thanks for all the fish."
Have gnu, will travel.
Do they have Pointy Haired Boss?. Pointy-bearded boss, perhaps?
It's not so different to generals and politicians who proclaim: "It's your fault your family was murdered by our bombs: You got in our way of killing a possible suspect."
It's a lot easier to demand hero worship by pretending your enemy, a Kingdom (Caliphate) paying idealistic mercenaries to protect their land, has fewer rights than you: Including the right to murder by-standers. (Remember Chelsea/Bradly Manning released a video of Americans killing unarmed by-standers with an aircraft cannon: A war crime.)
Christian countries have used immolation to execute criminals (in particular, female criminals). Japan has used swords to execute criminals; Saudi Arabia still does. The American use of lethal injection or electrocution isn't an improvement in judicial homicide. Such executions are shown to the press and interested parties. The USA doesn't have moral superiority on judicial homicide.
I don't approve of ISIS, they're a mafia with a Qur'an: But they've killed far fewer by-standers than certain national armies. The difference between ISIS and national armies is small, why would the difference be recruitment and bureaucracy? One important difference is ISIS gets recruits easily while the USA is struggling to find recruits. Maybe the attention should be on what sort of person joins a mafia commanded by religious fanatics? I suspect a person who feels politically powerless and socially devalued in their own country.
I do not believe in blowing myself up for a cause, much less some seventies opium dem stoner turned imam trying to keep the honey chain coming.
i am however not opposed to causing everyone else to blow each other up.
Here is their training video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
trying to address that overblown ultra-echochamber-progressive concept of poverty being the main driver of religious terrorism.
Hunger drove the "Arab spring" not Facebook. Everybody seemed to forget that there were rolling food riots in cities like Cairo and Aleppo shortly before the outbreak of hostilities. They were brought on by skyrocketing food prices due to record breaking droughts that were occurring in Australia, Russia, and the Fertile Crescent during the 2000's. In Syria alone, 2M people abandoned their farms and moved into the city looking for jobs, in a nation of 20M people it's not surprising that such internal displacement triggered a civil war. In fact it was shown in the diplomatic cables posted by wikileaks that at least one US diplomat predicted the Syrian war and even guessed the city where hostilities first erupted (due to the large influx of internal migrants).
Poverty alone is not enough inspire a terrorist response, but three days without bread will prompt most people to behave like a wounded animal. At that point you just need religion (or FB) to point the finger at someone they can blame for their predicament.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
Is there a drug test?
All officers have a college degree, most if not all senior NCO's have at least an AA degree , most Mid Level officers have masters degrees.
Seriously!
Do you remember the 90's widespread hoax of a company selling kittens grown up inside glass bottles as "bonsai"? I consider this to be on the same level of hoax - but for some possible state-intelligence level sponsoring that could be used to stir even more the rage against "the terrorists". Just to keep the wars going, you know.
-><- no
You being unemployed is not exactly comparable. If you are going to try to understand this, starting from your own experience is not the best way, as you are not directly comparable. Plenty terrorists have had good jobs, but the vast majority have not, or have no chance of finding one again. Pointing out the relatively-rare as evidence that the majority doesn't exist isn't particularly helpful.
You are the one who is confused. It's not "poverty", but being outside of the economy and not being allowed in. It's like mega-poverty, as you simply don't exist, have no voice, yet still have the lovely gift of being shat on by those with power.
I was specifically using Britain's Muslims as an example (they have it much better than America's from a poverty standpoint, but there is a bigger radicalization problem over there.) Focusing exclusively on the lowest classes in the third world is another conversation entirely. Yes, they are a significant part of the game here but the founders and leaders of ISIS and al-Qaeda were not and are not impoverished.
As I said in my other reply, my situation is directly comparable to British Muslims (like Jihadi John, the 7/7 bombers, etc.) and the statistics of what British Muslims vs. American Muslims believe show that this is not a purely anecdotal point I am making. Protection from poverty is clearly not preventing extremism.
Also, it is worth focusing on the middle and upper classes, because they are primarily the ones creating all of these organizations and ideologies (Osama bin Laden, Sayyid Qutb, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi) and carrying out many of the most prominent attacks (including the Ph. Ds and grad students who slammed planes into buildings on 9/11).
This was a job application written in English, so I was comparing my situation to those of lower class Muslims in Britain. If you dislike my anecdote, I direct you to the hard data concerning:
a. The differences between American assistance for the lower classes and the unemployed vs. British assistance (even under a Tory government)
and
b. The statistics describing what American Muslims believe vs. what British Muslims believe
Or, you know, you can just mod me troll because I'm too lazy to post a redacted scan of my termination letter.
So, does this mean that somewhere out there is someone who wanted to join Al-Qaeda and become a terrorist and blow themselves up and all that jazz but got rejected for poor penmanship?
"Well, Ahmed, you scored high in fanaticism and lack of moral scruples, but this application is frankly a mess. I could barely read the thing. I'm afraid you're just not what we're looking for, sorry. Have you tried Amway?"
"They sent me here."