Slashdot Mirror
The Science of Incivility
An anonymous reader writes: Stress causes health issues — we've known this for years. But what's harder to figure out is what exactly qualifies as stress. It's easy to understand that working as an EMT or police officer can be stressful. But as medical researchers are beginning to learn, minor stress events common to all workplaces eventually add up — the cumulative stress from workplace incivility can have huge consequences for both health and performance. "A study published in 2012 that tracked women for 10 years concluded that stressful jobs increased the risk of a cardiovascular event by 38 percent. ... In [another] study, the experimenter belittled the peer group of the participants, who then performed 33 percent worse on anagram word puzzles and came up with 39 percent fewer creative ideas during a brainstorming task focused on how they might use a brick." Many people brush off efforts to be civil, saying they have too little time, or too much on their mind. But further studies have shown it takes very little — a smile here and there, or the occasional "thank you" — to have surprisingly strong effects on how people are perceived. The article argues that it's worth the effort, given the costs for failure.
Be nice to people on the way up, because you're going to meet them again on the way down :)
FDA bans frowns and criticism citing impact to healthcare costs
so NSA will wonder what you're up to.
And one might want to look at how the nastiness of Internet forums contributes to this as well. What happens when an entire society is constantly bombarded with the kind of crap we see every day?
So next time you decide to post some trolling bullcrap, remember that your behavior does, indeed, have a real effect on the other people involved.
Don't be a dick. It's not that hard and we're all better off.
Love sees no species.
The reasons for being people incivil seem rather petty. The most common reason I find myself getting short with people in working life is when they aren't listening or are otherwise ignoring reasonable questions and requests. Unfortunately a lot of people feel that if they blow someone off politely and then that person repeats the request or question in a more direct manner, that person has some kind of personality defect or "communication issue".
Typical conversation that is sure to end in problems:
I can't be the only one who has experienced this. Workplaces seem to be full of delicate snowflakes who either ignore any criticism of their work, and when they can't ignore it interpret it as 'incivility'. The article alludes to this though: it says there's often an inverse correlation between perceived politeness and competence. Perhaps people understand at some deeper level that people who are polite often don't get results, or don't tell it like it is.
I think I see your problem sir.
I eat mean people.
It saves trouble.
There are other things that can make your life worse off, even though it might not seemingly cause any harm at all.
Feelings of negativity lead to negative health issues, namely being subjected to annoying, boring or outright enraging activities.
"Cringe-watching", the act of watching something you hate so much just to see how awful it is, has even been linked to health issues pretty damn well despite being a recent-ish thing.
But it just follows the same principle of being in a negative environment and having to do it regardless of your opinion or feelings.
On that note as well, boredom, boredom can lead straight to depression if you leave yourself in that situation for long periods of time.
Keep check of your overall mood every day. You'll probably be very surprised even if you thought you knew yourself.
All those negative and "neutral" feelings build up. Don't let them become the basis of your personality.
Get hobbies, make your job more fun, optimize how you work, do anything and everything to make your place of work better, everyone will benefit, including yourself.
It might seem fruitless, but things will tend to become better if everyone were to pitch in.
Even people that hate each other can open dialogue with each other in a calm environment and come to agreements.
It ain't no hippy dream, it can work. You just need to try.
Most people don't want to be dicks. They just do it out of necessity.
Doesn't matter if you are rich or poor, applies at all classes.
FDA bans frowns and criticism citing impact to healthcare costs
I think we've already crossed that bridge.
Oppose Obamacare? Racist!
much of left-wing thought is a kind of playing with fire by people who don't even know that fire is hot - George Orwell
that both of them are simply assholes.
200 years ago, civility was not doing something that lead to death of the other party within a few days.
We've come a long way, but no matter how far you go, there will always be relatively civil and un-civil behavior, and the latter is going to bother people.
I'll be the laughingstock of /., gamer boards and lkml!
38% increased risk of cardiovascular event.
Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
I think incivility in work places would be common in places with poor pay, larger worker turn over, very interchangeable skill sets among the workers, and tough management practices. As one who has been solving crosswords for two decades (not the NYT trivia based one, the London Times Crypic with a decent mix of anagrams, double definitions, cryptic definitions, hidden clues and puns). I can tell you anything can put off anagram performance. Somedays you look at the words and the solutions leap at you. Somedays you don't get it. For all you know it could be the breakfast you had that morning.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
In [another] study, the experimenter belittled the peer group of the participants, who then...came up with 39 percent fewer creative ideas during a brainstorming task focused on how they might use a brick.
I have an idea what to do with the brick...
-- sudon't
Air-ride Equipped
I wonder what Linus Torvalds would say about this.
Who says the parent is the reasonable one? And he is the one saying the other party is being unreasonable. Many times people think that just because they ask, they should get their way and if they don't, the other party is being unreasonable. I was at a show a while ago and I picked the seat I wanted. Apparently, these other people bought their at the last minute and didn't get what they wanted. They asked for me to move. I said no. They got into a huff and called me unreasonable.
Reading it again, it looks like his team wanted another team to redesign their stuff so his team can make their deadline because they screwed up and didn't read specs correctly. It looks to me that the parent didn't get his way and is blaming the other folks for being unreasonable.
And reading further it looks like the parent is making excuses for being a jerk.
Until people can act more professional and not take every criticsm as a personal attack, it does not matter how civil your are. I have lost track the number of times I provide constructive criticism on something to then get accusations I attacked them and/or was inappropriate. People get real defensive when their competence is perceived to be under question. When I ask for someone to quote something I wrote or said that indicated a personal attack or was inappropriate, no one can cite anything.
When dealing with willful incompetence, civility gets you nowhere.
What I expect from coworkers is professionalism: a way of working with the realization that everyone makes mistakes, and when someone highlights a mistake, instead of taking it personally, treat it as a learning opportunity.
That's a reason women tend to live longer than men, because historically they haven't been in the "workforce".
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
Ah, good, a live subject! Can you please tell us the causes of your incivility in this post? Your input will extend the boundaries of scientific knowledge and humanity will be most grateful. Thanks.
Something that has been in the news a few times is how some places are better to live than others.
I regularly see people from the USA strongly disputing this. How can anywhere possibly be better to live than the US? You have your Constitution, various amendments and some of you have a lot of money.
If this is right, perhaps it is to do with manners. So often your countryfolk seem brusque at best and just plain rude a lot of the time. This is definitely not all of you and not everyone in Denmark and Bhutan are amazingly polite at all times. What is evident though is that rudeness can be taken as a badge of honour in some places. In others politeness is seen as the target.
Example: A couple of years ago, I was taking part in a discussion about the treatment of transgender people. My attitude is that if someone has gone through all "that process", it is just good manners to call them what they want to be. This was taken by some that I am somewhere in the LGBTIQ... spectrum. I'm not. I'm straight white Northern European but also a (usually) polite Brit.
It would be interesting to compare where is supposed to be good and bad places to live with their local norms of politeness.
I'll see your Constitution and raise you a Queen.
And it's not like the "research paper" (i.e. the New Testament) has been lost to history, like so much other scientific data gets lost. Flawed as it is due to translation errors and redaction, "love one another" and "treat thy neighbor as thyself" hold up pretty well in 2015 AD as well as it did in 1,000,000 BC.
And it's not like he is the only in recorded history or philosophy saying this.
I guess my point is that while it's interesting to have actual data confirming the correlation between office environment and productivity is good to have, we already knew this to be true. Why are funds being wasted on such when there are so many gaping fiscal wounds in the world of education to be filled?
Not too long ago, a company spent US$100K or more to hire me and move me across the country to work for them. It was on a project I really believed in and wanted to make a serious contribution to. Unfortunately, my supervisor turned out to be a jerk, lacking in basic civility, and as soon as I could, I moved on. In principle, that company should be appalled, but in practice, they have no real monitoring to detect this sort of thing (and I'm certainly not going to tell them).
These days, when it comes to hiring, or being hired, I look for the basic ability to get along with people. Technical skill is a distant second. Lack of skill can be a problem, but jackasses are just boat anchors, dragging down the entire team.
"Words like 'please' and 'thank-you' are like the air in your bicycle tyres -- they cost nothing but make your journey through life much smoother"
I recall being singled out by the leader on a training course many years ago where we had to role play asking someone to do extra work when there was no direct management chain of command -- i.e. persuasion rather than authority. In a room of about 30 people I was the only one who said 'please' during the request and 'thank-you' at the end. I don't think the others were necessarily rude or lacking civility - but that, at the time, 'macho demanding' was all the rage when it came to management.
Honestly - how hard is it to be polite?
Basic Income for the truly screwed in the USA, i.e. non-union, non-college 1960's born, funded by a raised expatriation tax and a tax on stock share transactions.
Perhaps a huge component of "politeness" is the ability to personally identify with the people around you in a significant way. Most of Northern Europe has a remarkable cultural homogeneity. Denmark, for example, is occupied by around 90% people of Danish descent, and even the 10% is a relatively recent phenomenon. Even the religion of Denmark is homogeneous, with the census reporting 80% belonging to Church of Denmark. The rest of Northern Europe is similarly homogeneous, even including the UK.
So often your countryfolk seem brusque at best and just plain rude a lot of the time.
The rudest people I've ever met in my life have all been European. I'm a very polite person, so I presume it's because they knew that I was American and were unable to stir up any empathy for somebody so culturally different and "other". Perhaps it isn't valid to take your trans-cultural interaction as an accurate representation of intra-cultural interactions.
If you want a vision of the future, imagine a youtube comments section scrolling - forever.
I'm curious: The bible recognizes, accepts, and at places condones slavery. What would Jesus have said about this subject? Also, should we take direction from the bible on this issue?
Also: Jesus himself got angry and tore up the bazaar in the temple. I'm trying to be like Jesus in all ways (not making that up), and I'm wondering if it's OK to do that? Is getting angry on occasion, and doing damage to public areas OK for the informed activist?
And finally: What does the bible have to say about homosexuality? Many *many* biblical scholars through history that have interpreted the bible as being four-square against homosexuality - should we accept their interpretations because they are scholars and have studied the field extensively?
I completely disagree that politeness is more important than technical correctness. If I know that somebody was born a male and used modern technology to turn into w female looking person ai still consider that person a male and will not change my definition of them for their sake. It is just not going to happen. I don't mean to be in their face, I believe in live and let live to this absolute. But I will not change nomenclature for anybody's sake.
You can't handle the truth.
I've also read about how a person who is harboring negative emotions, but never lets them go and tries to pretend to be cheerful can also become stressed. Having very few outlets for social stress can be bad as well, the stresses don't just come from someone else being a little rude. Social interactions are complex things, and I would know considering my level of introversion. Two sides often exist in any scenario.
This isn't to say I think it's perfectly fine to be an asshole all the time for very little reason, being respectful and courteous is worthwhile. But when you are around the type of people who carry their feelings on their shoulders and force you to be unconditionally kind and uptight every waking moment you are around them, I imagine that would drive a lot of people insane.
The people who can't take a tiny bit of criticism (even if it's undue) here and there, or just love being offended for the sake of it, may very well get more stressed out around a lot of folks. But they could likely cause just as much stress to people around them who lack other outlets.
I don't spend a lot of time in social environments, but It really looks to me like the people who take pride in being offended are just as stressful as those who take pride in being offensive, even when behind the barrier of the Internet.
Perhaps many people get subtly (or not-so-subtly) rubbed the wrong way by inhumane aspects of modern society/technology/the world of work & business, & it builds up, & many incidentally just dispel the discomfiture & such by lashing out at those around them, be it jokingly, passive aggressively, or outright abusive language/behavior. It sure takes a lot of metacognition (& meta-metacognition ("mindfulness"?)) to keep a handle on that sort of phenomenon & in the process (hopefully) take a more active role to heal themselves & those around them, especially individuals who are suffering from behavioral complexes of this variety. And best of all to change the inhumane aspects of our world!
"Please" and "Thank you" are like curse words. They no longer mean anything. If you're saying please and thank you a lot I'm going to assume you're trying to manipulate me for your own benefit. Use them when you mean it, not out of habit.
You use the word "I" a lot.
Perhaps that's an indication of why your business is such a failure.
If you don't see the problem with the "other party" in the exchange outlined above, then look in the mirror: you are the problem
"1) "and probably others too" - You have just shown that you are going to make spurious assumptions in an attempt to coerce. "
No he didn't, asshole. He simply used his brain cells to realize that the problem which affected him would likely affect other people too. It's sad that you weren't smart enough (or honest enough) to do so yourself, you worthless asshole.
"2) "Y does not seem to work properly" - You have just shown that you are going to make unsupported accusations in an attempt to coerce. "
Or maybe the "accusation" is more like an informational statement, meant to inform, and it's just like a piece of shit like you to interpret as a form of "coercion."
"3) "We cannot make progress until" - ransom. "
Oh, I'm sorry, forgive me for expecting you to give a fuck about anyone other than just yourselves and your petty concerns. And here I was thinking that the whole point of putting your product out onto market was to solve problems.
"4) "Perhaps a better way ... have you considered that approach before?" - Ill concealed condescension mixed with presumed superiority. "
Of course this is your interpretation, being the self-important egotistical fuck you are.
"You follow a perfectly civil response that they will look into it with an immediate "Me: Thanks for the response. Do you have any timeline or near time plans to resolve the issue? We cannot make progress on our task until your team resolves this issue." - harassment and veiled threat to hold them responsible"
Or maybe an attempt to politely highlight the importance of you getting off your fucking lazy ass to fix the problem.
"Look deeper into the issue. You failed to spot the real problem."
Look in the mirror; there you will find the real serious problem that is destroying this country. You and your God damned oversized ego. You're an incompetent prick.
"You are lucky. I work in research. We compete with each other for grant money, co-authership, and basically everything else. When someone gets funded, and others need money, then the person with money can hire and exploit the ones who need money. When that money runs out and someone else gets funded, tables turn and it's payback time. "
The life of a government parasite.
Stop working for Satan, and you'll find your life improves considerably.
Keep working for Satan, and you'll find the wages of sin are death.
My job is growing weed. Like any other type of farmer, I have a lot of free time, which is devoted to reading and studying and researching. Guaranteed I'll accomplish more in life than you ever will, especially with you being in such a hostile environment full of throat-slitting, parasitic assholes.
captcha: misery
Why not both, why can't you make a habit about being courteous? These are not magic words where the mere existence of the words in the right formula cause an effect. Anybody who is immature enough to use them as magic words will quickly be noted as immature.
So the AC is stating that a person is more likely a sociopath than someone who honestly is polite and grateful that people do what they say, rather than having some sort of expected entitlement over others.
That does indeed say something about the society they have grown up in.
The rudest people I've ever met in my life have all been European. I'm a very polite person, so I presume it's because they knew that I was American and were unable to stir up any empathy for somebody so culturally different and "other". Perhaps it isn't valid to take your trans-cultural interaction as an accurate representation of intra-cultural interactions.
Yep. I traveled from St Petersburg back to Canada through Frankfurt. Frankfurt Airport was barely distinguishable from St Petersburg manners-wise. Canada was night and day (I live there). Flying there through Zurich was nice. Visiting the US (NY, Detroit, LA) was quite nice. So yeah, politeness points for North America, honourable mention for Switzerland. Purely anecdotal of course.
Managers and bosses have no incentive to do this. I've worked at a lot of places where managers and bosses are hemorrhoid-free, that is, they are perfect ass holes. Belittling, condescending, rude, insulting, and since that's how you move up in most companies, being nice is something offered sparingly. If underlings leave, then the boss can keep 'training newbies', and ideas left behind can be claimed by the boss. Cream always rises to the top, but in a bucket of cream, you will find that crap floats to the top too.
Sad to hear that they mean little to you -- they mean a lot to me and I wouldn't use them without meaning or sincerity.
I guess it comes down to expectations: either go through life assuming that people are (in the main) reasonable, friendly and nice) and then try to maintain this by behaving well -- or assume everyone's out to manipulate you and deprive you of your 'rightful entitlement' and 'get your retaliation in first'.
I know the approach I prefer - and the type of people I like working with; I also respect others may have a different viewpoint.
And as to the other comment (several replies above) based on my spelling of tyres implying that I live in a socialist paradise -- you really have no idea of the realities of life in the UK and the nature of our government if you truly believe that
You're not being technically correct, you're just being a dick. There's nothing technically correct about calling someone transgender by the pronoun they've gone away from. Unlike actual technical correctness it doesn't achieve anything at all.
I knew a friend of mine for about 10 years before I knew she was transgender. I can tell you if I started referring to her as "he" it would have confused a whole hell of a lot of people. But in your world apparently that's OK, because people pronouns should be chosen by an invisible genetic artefact that it's impossible to determine without their explicit permission, as opposed to visually which is how everyone else does it.
So tell me this: if you discovered that someone was XY but had severe testosterone insensitivity (i.e. they look completely female) would you start her them "he"? And before you get too hung up on genetics, what would youcall someonw with the XXY karyotype?
SJW n. One who posts facts.
I have seen two stress generators in play at various jobs. One huge cause is when a company has economic wars and can not afford to pay the going rate for workers who really are productive. Employees tend to turn on each other as if one getting ahead decreases the others' chances of ever getting a raise. It can reach the point of employees destroying the work of other employees to make them look bad to management. The second cause of note occurs in jobs that are reliable and lasting in which there is a great deal of hostility when an opening is given to an applicant other than some friend of workers already in a department. The usual tactic is to go to the department manger and give false reports of the new persons job performance. And it can also involve sabotage of the work output of the new employee. In the construction trades peoples' lives can actually be at risk as the injury or death of a worker is all too easy to create.
You seem to be verifying what I said.
There is a serious difference between saying negative things to/about someone and being rude. Learning that is one of the things that happens as people grow up.
Telling someone to their face that you don't like them does not show that you have anything other than a severe lack of tact. That is not honesty. At times, it can be straightforward stupidity.
There are very few people that I/we loathe. There are certainly plenty around that I would rather be somewhere else than next to but that is not the same thing. Loathing implies a wish to harm. One of the last times this country wished anyone harm, our prime minister obediently followed your president into Iraq. That was one of the most amazingly stupid things ever done by a British leader in centuries. We are now living with the consequences. I want us to go back to not loathing as soon as possible!
As for the empire, my ancestors gave it back to the peoples that their ancestors had taken it from. On the whole, we are still on good terms with most of them.
I'll see your Constitution and raise you a Queen.
Being a dick is my right, first and foremost, but like I said: live and let live. As to the question at hand: you are born in a male body and have to cut off your junk and do other procedure to appear as if you are female, afaic you are still a male. You are fucked up, but male.
You can't handle the truth.
Being a dick is my right, first and foremost,
Sure, being a dick is not literally illegal, I never claimed it was. And my not-literally-illegal-to-say-so right is to call you out for being a dick.
You dick.
As to the question at hand:
No, you completely ignored the question at hand because you didn't like the answer it would have forced you to give.
SJW n. One who posts facts.
Where did you force me to do anything at all? I don't care about your friend and I don't bother anybody and they shouldn't bother me. There are males who look female, that's nothing new. They are still men regardless of their broken hormone system.
You can't handle the truth.
Maybe they were just thinking too hard about using the brick on the experimenter to come up with other uses.
Where did you force me to do anything at all?
I didn't force you to do anything, and apparently I didn't force you to read my post. To give a sane and coherent answer would have forced you to actually think about what you're saying.
You can't be aresd though which is why you're not answering my question.
I don't care about your friend and I don't bother anybody and they shouldn't bother me.
You care enough to (in the hypothetical case) switch from calling her "her" to "him".
There are males who look female, that's nothing new.
You know, try actually reading the post I made previously.
SJW n. One who posts facts.
If you worry about being polite, because it might make you appear weak, then you -are- weak. You need to work on both your strength -and- your politeness.
Good manners are the way we work with people we don't necessarily like, in order to get theings done. It is not "when you empathize with people", it's also for the ones we can never empathize with.
And it's also a good idea, where people own guns. Note that the places with the worst "politeness" are the large coastal cities where guns are banned.
Or the Internet, where you can't see your tormenter. Of course, the Internet is not nearly so annonymous as people think...
I dunno, it makes me a little bit sad when someone insists upon being an asshole with no real attempt at self-reflection. But it's rare that these people are susceptible to rational argument. And, as he so forcefully pointed out, it is his right to be a dick. Though it sounds unpleasant, going through life with so much misdirected anger.