Ask Slashdot: Getting My Wife Back Into Programming After Long Maternity Leave?

An anonymous reader writes: My wife has been on a maternity leave for three years, now. She is starting to think about refreshing her coding skills and looking for a job. Before, she worked as a Java developer for around two years doing mostly Java Enterprise stuff. However, she is not very eager to go back to coding. I think she has the right mental skills to be a developer, but she is just not very passionate about coding or IT in general. On the other hand, it's relatively easier to find a job in IT than starting a new career.

We live in Spain, and with the current economic situation, the market for software developers is not great — but it's definitely better than other jobs. I there anything else she might do, ideally Java (but could be anything IT related) that would be easier and more fun than the typical Java Enterprise stuff, while also giving her a good change to find a decent job? (I'm a Java developer myself with many years of experience but mostly doing boring Java Enterprise stuff.)

Comments

Why force her to do something she doesn't want to?

[krotscheck]

It feels like you're trying to push her into a career she doesn't really want to be in. If I was you, I'd respect her wishes and instead support her while she finds something she's passionate about.

Project Management or Business Analyst

[ranton]

Two great careers for software developers who don't really like writing software are project management and business analyst. Both are very necessary in almost any IT group, and having software development experience will be an asset in both. Analysts that can write SQL and fully understand object modeling are rare and valuable, as are project managers who understand the software development life cycle from the viewpoint of developers.

Re:Project Management or Business Analyst

[swillden]

+1

Not to be sexist, but most women prefer jobs that include more interaction with people and less time spent in solo problem solving, so it's not terribly surprising that she does't love coding. This isn't to say there aren't women who really like coding, or even introverted women who find working with people all day to be unpleasant. There are all kinds... but on average my observation is that women prefer more human interaction.

So, assuming that your wife falls into that category, there are lots of roles in and around software development that are more people-focused. Project management requires an additional set of skills, both people skills and management skills, but it's eminently learnable, and having a technical background is very valuable -- as long as it doesn't cause her to second-guess what the developers are telling her (always a risk with PMs, and even more with those whose technical background is shallower than they think it is. There's a tendency to assume that everything they don't know how to do is easy.)

Business Analyst is another good one. It, again, requires some additional skills she probably doesn't have but can learn. Industry knowledge tends to be important, but most companies are okay with analysts learning that context on the job. She also needs to learn how to gather and document requirements. A technical background is useful there because good requirements need quite a bit more precision than most non-technical people are used to. There's also a risk; formerly-technical BAs have a tendency to overspecify. An important skill for this role which isn't so easy to learn is writing. Good BAs are excellent writers, able to concisely and accurately boil complex issues down to simple statements.

Another option that might be excellent if she can swing it is Systems or Application Architect. Companies generally want experienced, senior developers to move into these roles, but smart but less-experienced people can do it as well. Architects take the business requirements and convert them into high-level technical plans/architectures. Architects tend to spend less time interacting with people than PMs or BAs, but still quite a bit since they provide the primary interface between the technical and business teams. Architects need to have good technical skills and good "taste", meaning a good feel for what sorts of structures are easy to build, easy to maintain and flexible, and for how to intelligently trade those issues off. They also need to be good at translating technical issues into language the business people can understand. Honestly I expect that your wife probably doesn't have the depth of experience needed to make a good architect, but I thought I'd throw it out.

Another that might be good if she's a good writer and enjoys writing is technical writing. Good tech writers have greater need for writing skill than they do technical skill, but the latter is very valuable because it enables them to more quickly and accurately understand the information that needs to be documented.

In smaller companies a lot of these roles get mixed and combined with other business roles, so another good option is to look for a position that isn't necessarily directly related to software development, but could benefit from having a deeply IT-literate person.

Finally, the option that I've long thought I'd take if I ever got tired of writing code is the law. It's a lot of additional training, but I think there is a deep and growing need for attorneys who understand technology. This is especially true in the areas of patent and copyright law, but I think it applies in many areas. Of course, the law may not have any attraction whatsoever for your wife.

Whatever, I'd really encourage her to take the time to figure out what she wants to do, and do that, rather than settling for something she doesn't really like. We so much of our lives working that it's really a waste to spend it doing something we don't like.

Pretty much exactly what my wife did

[Anonymous Coward]

My wife was out of the programming workforce for about twenty years, and worried that her FORTRAN skills were no longer needed :-)

I encouraged her to take some Java classes, she liked it a lot, found an interesting job and several years later is loving it.

The thing is, do the research to find an *interesting* job -- yeah, it may be just "Java Enterprise stuff", but if it's an interesting project, and something you believe in, with good people, it's worth doing. My wife's team is a crazy bunch, and she enjoys their interactions (and telling me the wild stories) a lot.

She's been able to learn a lot of useful side technologies (XSLT, Databases, basic web stuff, etc.) so she'll be able to find a new job if the rumors of them moving the project she's on several hundred miles away pan out.

Anyway, with you working, she doesn't have to settle for the "first available" job, look around a lot, interview a bunch (if nothing else, to hone interviewing skills).

Good luck to you both!

"Not eager"

[mi]

However, she is not very eager to go back to coding.

I see another "poster girl" raising awareness of the "pay inequality" in the making...

Don't do it

[Brownstar]

First answer why does she want to go back to work? Is it because your family needs a second income, is it because she's bored at home and being a full time mother is not what she wants to do, something different, maybe she's looking for part time work. All of these are equally valid options, but before she decides to do something, she should understand why, to ensure that she's actually fulfilling those goals.

Unless your family absolutely needs the extra money, and there is no option for any other employment why try to have her go into programming?

She only had 2 years experience to begin with, so she's still an entry level developer. Basically that means going back to programming might as well be entering a new career as well.

If she doesn't enjoy or want to be a developer it's more likely she's going to be very dissatisfied and not fulfilled.

My suggestion would be to have her apply for a number of different types of jobs. Some that fulfill the reasons that she wants to go back into the work force that could be built into a career that she wants to be in, and maybe, developer positions as a last resort.

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[danbob999]

how do you know they only had one kid during those three years?

the break isn't a big deal, the lack of passion is

[Anonymous Coward]

I got back into programming after a 7 year hiatus during which I went to law school and practiced law. I spent about 3 months writing apps to refresh my skills and then took the first job I got offered a few weeks after posting my resume. I am now back to senior developer status after 2 years, making good money. I was 8 years in to my career before I went back to school and I continued to do development work here and there (ie personal programming projects) while I was out of the industry.

The big problem here is your wife's lack of passion. If someone doesn't want to code, you're fighting a losing battle. It takes at least 5-6 years of intensive development experience before you start becoming genuinely good at coding. You need to see lots of problems and solve them. You need to fuck up at least a few times and learn from your mistakes. You need to overengineer something by accident at least once and learn from your wasted effort. You need to overcommit to a project and burn out. You need to make assumptions and then get burned when they turn into defects because it turns out you aren't a mind reader. You need to work with lots of developers that are better than you and learn new ways of doing things.

Suffering through that pain and humiliation for years takes a real passion for programming. If you aren't passionate about it, you aren't going to keep coming back to it again and again.

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[kwbauer]

Or you can look at the reverse... Those of us having children are the only ones helping you have all the social welfare programs (pensions and Social Security, etc.) after you stop working.

So, yes, I am getting a raw deal because I am raising kids that will contribute to me and to you and you are getting a free ride by having no kids.

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[AmiMoJo]

Ask Slashdot was useful once, but in the last few years it's just become an opportunity to abuse the questioner. Okay, sometimes the questions are really dumb, but how about we try to assume good faith and not expect them to write an essay covering every possible objection first? You know, kinda like Stack Exchange or something.

In fact, screw it, Slashdot is dying. I recommend asking the same question on Stack Exchange, you will get more helpful answers.

Why are you (not she) posting this question?

[karlandtanya]

That's not rhetorical. She isn't posting this; you are, and there's a reason.

You've already established that your wife doesn't want a 'job' in IT.
Go listen to her and find out what she wants. If she wants your help, help her.

"...it's relatively easier to find a job in IT than starting a new career..."
comes off a "IT folks and my wife can handle jobs, not careers".

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[MightyYar]

I don't know the woman, but calling someone who has been chasing a toddler around for 3 years "lazy" is probably why. It might not be skilled work, but it is exhausting.

Re:Of For Fucks Sake

[thechemic]

Slashdot.org - News for lost souls and drifters in life who can't decide what to do with themselves.

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[Rasperin]

I can't speak for either of those professions, but I stayed home for about 6months with my two toddlers (honestly easier than one because they play together), and trust me, it isn't easy. If you actually parent/clean/cook and don't just screw around watching tv and facebooking all day it is pretty constant physical and mental labor. By the end of my run, I was ready to get back to programming. On top of that it really is a thankless job with criticism when you are having a bad day. At least when you are having a bad day programming, you just open up slashdot and slack for a few hours. Do that when you are at home and the house is trashed. Then it becomes mentally debilitating because it's a job that is never done and if you are consistently doing it 24/7 it all goes to hell.

In regards to coal miner or roofer, again I can't speak to those professions, I can say as a person who worked in construction for 5 years during school, I'd rather be doing that then chasing kids around (if only it was just that).

Oh and nap time is the time to get shit done, it aint rest time. There are no breaks. And when you are the SAHP your the primary care giver and the other person disconnects so instead of working 40hours a week like your spouse you work essentially 7 16hour days.

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[ThatsDrDangerToYou]

Gaa, your post was a PTSD trigger for me... make it stop! Oh wait, kids are grown. Ah, nevermind.

Re:Why force her to do something she doesn't want

[halltk1983]

So that nest egg... is it invested into stocks that require workers younger than you? Is it invested into government bonds which require taxpayers younger than you? Is it invested into banks which require people taking and paying loans who are younger than you? Are you going to spend them at stores staffed by people younger than you, with things made by people younger than you, and delivered by people younger than you? Without young'uns being born at a pretty consistent rate, you'd see some piss poor returns on your investment.