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Analysis Reveals Almost No Real Women On Ashley Madison

gurps_npc writes: Ashley Madison claimed to have about 31 million men and 5.5 million woman enrolled. Those odds are not good for the men, 6:1. But unfortunately, most of those 'women' were fake. This researcher analyzed the data and found only 12,000 actual, real women using Ashley Madison. That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women. There are reports that Ashley Madison paid people to create fake female profiles. Their website admits that 'some of the users may be there for "entertainment purposes."' The article itself is well written, including a description of the analysis. A charitable person would say that Ashley Madison was selling a fantasy, not reality. But a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a thief stealing money from lonely, unhappy men.

290 of 450 comments (clear)

  1. Aha! by nospam007 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ' Their website admits that 'some of the users may be there for "entertainment purposes."'

    Not to confuse those with the 'professional' cheaters.

    1. Re:Aha! by Flavianoep · · Score: 5, Informative

      I guess that those users were more likely to be professional chatters. Within 10 minutes of signing up to the site, I received one message from another user, but Ashley Madison demanded money from me to read it. I suppose it is how the scam, if there is one, works. I could investigate more, but I forgot my password. I could recover it but... *yawn*

      --
      Linux is for people who don't mind RTFM.
    2. Re:Aha! by Z00L00K · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Some?

      On a site like that - the only real women would be women that are either desperate or looking for other women.

      --
      If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker would destroy civilization.
    3. Re:Aha! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      >However she had hundreds of men to pick from. I had maybe a few dozen to pick from.

      I am sorry the website did not present you with a wider selection of men.

    4. Re:Aha! by lgw · · Score: 4, Interesting

      On a site like that - the only real women would be women that are either desperate or looking for other women.

      I had heard that most the women on AM were call girls. Now I doubt that, as I'd think there'd have been a lot more, but still, there's a third category for your list.

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    5. Re:Aha! by bsd_usr · · Score: 1

      I'm pretty sure most online dating sites create fake profile with women that are way too good to be true just to sucker dudes into signing up.

    6. Re:Aha! by penguinoid · · Score: 4, Insightful

      ' Their website admits that 'some of the users may be there for "entertainment purposes."'

      Not to confuse those with the 'professional' cheaters.

      Actually, I'd have more respect for the "professional cheaters". Not only do they get paid, but it is less likely that they're hiding it from their spouse.

      --
      Don't waste your vote! Vote for whoever you want, unless you live in a swing state it won't matter anyways
    7. Re:Aha! by narcc · · Score: 4, Funny

      If they're fakes, you've either been taken or you'll need to pay extra.

    8. Re:Aha! by freeze128 · · Score: 3, Interesting

      There should be a poll of all the men registered on the site, and ask them if any of them were "entertained" by the breach.

    9. Re:Aha! by AmiMoJo · · Score: 2

      Man dating sites had their employees create fake profiles and message new users, to encourage them to pay. Some guy in Germany IIRC sued one of the big sites because he actually ended up going on a few dates with their female staff, which of course went nowhere. He was a big spender on the site, I don't think they go quite that far for most guys.

      Of course there are also loads of prostitutes on there, who you have to pay to message.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    10. Re:Aha! by Stan92057 · · Score: 2

      Only the lawyers and court made out.

      http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2012/11/how-lawsuit-against-classmates-com-ended-in-paltry-3-93-payouts/

      --
      Jack of all trades,master of none
    11. Re:Aha! by reboot246 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      The difference between a woman getting ready for a date and a man getting ready for a date is this: the man looks in his mirror and wonders if he'll get lucky; the woman looks in her mirror and doesn't have to wonder.

      'Tis far, far easier for a woman to get a date than a man.

      This has been true for all of human history. It's what makes the world go round. Don't you love it?

    12. Re:Aha! by JustAnotherOldGuy · · Score: 3, Informative

      ' Their website admits that 'some of the users may be there for "entertainment purposes."'

      TRANSLATION: "Approximately 99.995%, of our female users may not actually exist except at profiles on our site."

      --
      Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
    13. Re:Aha! by JustAnotherOldGuy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      "'Tis far, far easier for a woman to get a date than a man."

      True.

      Any woman can get up in the morning and say, "I'm gonna get laid tonight" with 100% accuracy.

      The only men that can say this are rapists.

      --
      Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
    14. Re:Aha! by JustAnotherOldGuy · · Score: 5, Interesting

      If I recall correctly, classmates.com was part of a class action suit about that same sort of behavior.

      You recall correctly; this is exactly what they were doing.

      I made up a fake profile on Classmates under the name of "Fuckyou Fakename" and within 24 hours I had notifications that "several" of my old classmates (including some females) had "read my profile" and "wanted to connect". And some of them had snippets of text that was grayed out with only the first few words showing, like "Hi there, remember me? I always..." (grayed out text....)

      The idea, obviously, was to get me to send them money to find out who was interested in me. Total fail, 100%.

      --
      Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
    15. Re:Aha! by amicusNYCL · · Score: 2

      Within 10 minutes of signing up to the site, I received one message from another user, but Ashley Madison demanded money from me to read it. I suppose it is how the scam, if there is one, works.

      That is specifically how it works, yeah. I read an article where they interviewed a guy on a team of 28 people working for a dating site creating female profiles to chat with men. So that might have even been a dude who sent the message. The public statements of Ashley Madison claimed a 70/30 ratio, far better than the 86/14 which is actually in the database accounts, and considering that most of those female accounts are fake I would imagine that they can be sued just for those false claims.

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
    16. Re: Aha! by tlambert · · Score: 5, Informative

      It's true, and to stay out of legal trouble, most now put it in their terms and conditions.

      Citation or you are spewing garbage.

      If he won't, I will (simple Google search, which you could do, if you knew how to work Google):

      https://erosdating.com/terms-o...
      "You also understand and agree that there are users and members on the Site that use and subscribe to our Service for purely entertainment purposes. Those users and subscribers are not seeking physical meetings with anyone they meet on the Service, but consider their communications with users and members to be for their amusement."

      In other words, they find it amusing to troll people, and some of the people who troll people may or may not be employed by the company.

    17. Re:Aha! by StikyPad · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Mostly true, but it's not that much more difficult for men. Those women are having sex with someone, after all, and I'm pretty sure it's not all the same guy. Be confident, but not a dick, a good listener, semi-romantic, don't waste time on girls who aren't interested, and you'll get more than enough. Most guys are their own biggest obstacle, particularly those who get hung up on "the one."

    18. Re:Aha! by wiggles · · Score: 2

      Well, *parts* of them are sometimes fake...

    19. Re:Aha! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      There is a small percentage of men that have sex with many women, that is what makes the equation solve for X. They are of course colossal douches and professional sleazeballs, but it does not stop women from sleeping with them.

    20. Re: Aha! by Anil · · Score: 2

      I read in other related articles about people being paid to impersonate interested women on dating sites.

      Given the language in the disclaimer, how would that apply in this case -- if it is an employee or contractor perpetrating a scam, then it is not "purely for entertainment purposes". Not that it would be simple to make that direct connection and bring it to trial, but you would figure the lawyers would come up with broader terms.

    21. Re:Aha! by amiga3D · · Score: 1

      More real than most.

    22. Re:Aha! by nospam007 · · Score: 3, Funny

      "I made up a fake profile on Classmates under the name of "Fuckyou Fakename" and within 24 hours I had notifications that "several" of my old classmates (including some females) had "read my profile" and "wanted to connect". And some of them had snippets of text that was grayed out with only the first few words showing, like "Hi there, remember me? I always..." (grayed out text....)"

      Dammit, you missed the chance to meet that Nigerian princess.

    23. Re:Aha! by interval1066 · · Score: 1

      Sounds like a typical "dating" site. While doing web work in LA in the mid 2000's I worked for a guy who had three such sites. He paid a small staff of women (like 3...?) to respond to emails/ads from men. Obviously these women had no interest in meeting anyone, and I was surprised how long he was able to string the men along and keep milking money out of them. After working in this office for a few months I got the idea that most sites worked that way. I used two sites myself that I know aren't like that; Plenty of Fish & Match.com. I met my current gf on POF.

      --
      Python: 'And then suddenly you have a language which says "we're all stuck with whatever the whiniest coder wants".'
    24. Re:Aha! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Most guys are their own biggest obstacle, particularly those who get hung up on "the one."

      No, most guys are the their own biggest obstacle because they are trying to "make it" with someone more attractive than themselves. Bring your expectations down to your own level and getting laid is easy.

    25. Re:Aha! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Unless of course, you're actually looking for "the one". Then "the other twenty" doesn't really do you any good, does it?

    26. Re: Aha! by tysonedwards · · Score: 2

      Entertainment is a very broad term. It is amusement or enjoyment. Only one party needs to derive said entertainment for the term to be valid, and as multiple parties can be taking part, including potentially operators or administrators of the site laughing about these pitiful guys messaging these fake profiles, the term still remains very much valid.

      --
      Thirty four characters live here.
    27. Re:Aha! by thegarbz · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Any woman can get up in the morning and say, "I'm gonna get laid tonight" with 100% accuracy.

      Are you implying that 100% of women on the world are so gorgeous and desirable that most men would simply fall at their feet at the prospect of getting laid?

      You have either a very over inflated view of women or a truly sad view of your fellow men.

    28. Re:Aha! by Pfhorrest · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I've met plenty of women who've bemoaned their ability to get laid.

      Of course, that's because they have standards, and aren't willing to sleep with just anyone.

      A man who's willing to sleep with just anyone, including women he finds from attractive, can get laid with the same frequency as women with those same standards.

      Seriously, go find a lonely ugly fat girl somewhere, don't call her a lonely ugly fat girl, and insinuate that you would like to have sex with her. Pretty sure shot at getting laid.

      That's about what a woman has to do to guarantee she gets laid too. Just drop all standards and be open to fucking anything with a pulse, and bam, boorish contemptible assholes will be all over her, terrible people she hates, but at least she's getting laid right?

      --
      -Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of all Trades
      "I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
    29. Re:Aha! by Pfhorrest · · Score: 1

      argh, why don't I use preview

      "bemoaned their inability to get laid"

      "finds far from attractive"

      --
      -Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of all Trades
      "I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
    30. Re:Aha! by haruchai · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Women definitely have the upper hand here in Western society.

      There are YouTube videos where a good-looking guy asks 100 Americans and 200 European females if they want to have sex with him. I think he may have gotten ZERO in America and 2 in Europe but one was a prostitute.
      As I recall, all of the men with gfs made a point of saying, this is my gf.
      The implication is that some of them may have been willing.
      When a moderately attractive girl tried that, she managed 30 out of 100 but in the early stages was doing MUCH better than only 30%, getting 12 positive responses in the first 26 tries.

      --
      Pain is merely failure leaving the body
    31. Re:Aha! by William+Baric · · Score: 1

      No, seriously, this is rated +5 insightful? I guess, it's really true there are a lot of virgins on slashdot!

    32. Re:Aha! by William+Baric · · Score: 1

      Have you seen what some prostitutes look like? I can tell you that a 45 years old crack addict is not what we can call "gorgeous and desirable". Yet, not only she can find a few clients to have sex with her each night, but she can make them pay for it!

    33. Re:Aha! by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      a good-looking guy asks 100 Americans and 200 European females if they want to have sex with him. I think he may have gotten ZERO in America and 2 in Europe but one was a prostitute.

      Because women are looking for different things in a partner to a man. We want physical beauty, and will happily sleep with someone based purely on appearances, but most women prefer a charming personality over looks (within reason). So this 'experiment' is flawed.
      I've had friends that picked up every single time they went out. I'm talking multiple times per week for years on end. The formula was the gift of the gab, being confident, funny and interesting, and having no standards of physical appearance. Not once did they ever walk up to a girl and ask for sex straight up. The female libido simply doesn't work that way.

    34. Re:Aha! by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 2

      I know a guy that met one of them. She played the whole married looking for an affair game, said she just wanted to fuck around, and he got hooked.
      So the deal was she'd organise a hotel for their rendezvous if he'd split the bill. He rocks up, she asks for the money, quick shower and sex, and within the hour she asks him to leave. Through sheer chance I heard the exact same story from another guy, same girl, same hotel room. She probably had 10 guys lined up for the day and made a decent income, although you can only pull that off for so long.

    35. Re: Aha! by savuporo · · Score: 1

      where do they siphon pics from though, legally?

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    36. Re:Aha! by houghi · · Score: 3, Insightful

      It is all supply and demand. If a women wants to get an affair, she goes to a pub and she can get laid. Not so much for a man. The ugly fat girl can still be not interested in sex (at that moment).

      And the ugly fat girl can still get laid if she wants to. Not so much for the ugly fat boy.

      Now if you want a relationship, it is almost the other way around.

      Many years ago I knew a person who owned a dating agency. There were so many women and so few man he often pretended to be a potential candidate. This was not for a fling, but for a relationship.

      Women at that time were much more willing to look for a relationship that way. This was all before the Internet.

      It is a bit of a standard that men want to have sex and women want to have a relationship. Yes, there are plenty of exceptions.

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
    37. Re:Aha! by JustAnotherOldGuy · · Score: 1

      Are you implying that 100% of women on the world are so gorgeous and desirable that most men would simply fall at their feet at the prospect of getting laid?

      No, I never implied any such thing, and only a moron would draw that conclusion from what I wrote. You're connecting dots where there aren't even any dots.

      You have either a very over inflated view of women or a truly sad view of your fellow men.

      What I have is 45+ years of dating women on top of thousands of real world experiences that tell me what I wrote is generally correct.

      --
      Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
    38. Re:Aha! by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      I know a guy that met one of them. She played the whole married looking for an affair game, said she just wanted to fuck around, and he got hooked. So the deal was she'd organise a hotel for their rendezvous if he'd split the bill. He rocks up, she asks for the money, quick shower and sex, and within the hour she asks him to leave. Through sheer chance I heard the exact same story from another guy, same girl, same hotel room. She probably had 10 guys lined up for the day and made a decent income, although you can only pull that off for so long.

      Unless she really enjoyed the whole story telling part, it seems like a lot of effort rather than just advertising as a call girl/escort.

      Using UK prices, a modest hotel room at something like a Holiday Inn Express (thanks google) is about GBP80 so she'd be earning GBP40/hour (say USD60/hour). I'm pretty sure escorts charge more than that.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    39. Re: Aha! by amicusNYCL · · Score: 1

      Well, who says they use the pictures legally?

      Otherwise, I would guess various stock photography sites, or even just paying people for pictures. If they paid people to write profiles they could also pay models for pictures. It's already known that Ashley Madison purchases pictures of models for advertising, they might as well do it for profiles also.

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
    40. Re:Aha! by surd1618 · · Score: 1

      Many, many comments about females on /. are wrong AND sexist, and this one is right, and helpful. I wish I had mod points today.

    41. Re:Aha! by tingentleman · · Score: 1

      Mostly true, but it's not that much more difficult for men. Those women are having sex with someone, after all

      No they're not. That's the point. You are assuming that most women want to have sex as much as most men, but not many women wake up and the main thing on their mind is how are they going to get laid today. They mostly _could_; but unlike men it's not such a massive deal. Women love sex, certainly - but they don't have the driving need to think about it continuously, and don't want to just do it recreationally without there being some kind of genuine relationship behind it.

      Women on Ashley Madison would be looking for someone to be with romantically, to bring some excitement and romance back into their lives. Men just want a fuck. And you know what - women know this (even though ignorant males continue to fantasise that women have the same sex drive / tendencies as them).

      tl;dr - Men cannot just "go and get laid" and anyone who claims they can (and think's that OK) is a dick.

    42. Re:Aha! by KozmoStevnNaut · · Score: 1

      On other hand, you should never be afraid to try for someone you may think is way out of your league. A lot of times you will be turned down, but at some point you may happen upon someone who just digs your personality/sense of humor/whatever. It's happened to me a couple of times, and while it's only a small statistical blip in the number of women I've dated, you should never judge a book by its cover.

      Maybe that perfect 10 is secretly a major geek at heart, or at least appreciates someone who's genuinely a nice person and not just looking to get laid. I'm not saying it happens often, I'm just saying that it's happened to me, so it must happen to other guys as well.

      --
      Eat the rich.
    43. Re:Aha! by KozmoStevnNaut · · Score: 1

      Maybe if you start referring to them as women instead of "females", you would have better luck.

      --
      Eat the rich.
    44. Re:Aha! by KozmoStevnNaut · · Score: 1

      Hold up, hold up.

      You're saying that these desperate guys needs to get themselves a personality and learn how to talk to people about other things than Pokemans and electronics? Perish the thought!

      --
      Eat the rich.
  2. Really? by Maury+Markowitz · · Score: 5, Funny

    " That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women"

    So does that mean there were 2583 men for every woman?

    Can someone put this into football fields for me?

    1. Re:Really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      " That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women"

      So does that mean there were 2583 men for every woman?

      Can someone put this into football fields for me?

      It means it would've resulted in one hell of a gang bang. Would've been difficult not to make eye contact with another dude during that one, that's for sure ;)

    2. Re:Really? by Tom · · Score: 5, Funny

      Depends on the body mass of these people, which thankfully are included in the sample (well, at least their self-reported body mass, but we have good studies showing the statistical discrepancies, so we can extrapolate).

      If we assume that 4 people can comfortably fuck on a king-size bed, and for simplicity assume such a bed to be 2x2 m then a football field 6400 m^2 (american football) oder 7140 m^2 (european soccer) is the equivalent of 1600-1785 orgies. Let's leave a little space inbetween for walking, etc. then we have 1500 women and 4500 men on such a football field.

      The analysis says 12,000 women, so that's 8 football fields. Since that includes only 36,000 men, the remaining ca. 32 mio. need to fit in the stands, meaning 4 mio. per stadium. The largest stadium in the world is, interestingly, in North Korea and it fits 150,000.

      So, by flawless math and logic, we can deduce that a lot of those male profiles are either fake as well, or gay (which means we need to add a couple stadiums with same-sex orgies).

      There, put it into football fields for you. Happy?

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    3. Re:Really? by U2xhc2hkb3QgU3Vja3M · · Score: 5, Funny

      It means there's 3582 football fields for every 8 library of congress.

    4. Re:Really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      It means that, if men on Ashley Madison sold out AT&T Stadium to watch a football game (about 105,000 men), there wouldn't be enough women on Ashley Madison to field a football team (about 41 women, when an NFL roster has 46 players that dress.)

    5. Re:Really? by hawguy · · Score: 1

      " That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women"

      So does that mean there were 2583 men for every woman?

      Can someone put this into football fields for me?

      Be happy to. Imagine that a woman is a regulation sized 11" long football. And imagine that a men are 100 yard long football fields. There would be one football for every 8 football fields. That football is going to have an awfully rough time trying to service all of those football fields.

    6. Re:Really? by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      No he said football, not girls football aka soccer.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    7. Re:Really? by _UnderTow_ · · Score: 4, Funny

      If we assume that 4 people can comfortably fuck on a king-size bed

      I think you and I have different definitions of 'comfortably'

    8. Re:Really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      re: "Can someone put this into football fields for me?"

      I think the unit for this would be Libraries of Sexual Congress.

    9. Re:Really? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      He said football, not handegg. :)

      what the fuck did you do to your chickens to make their eggs so pointy?

    10. Re:Really? by zarmanto · · Score: 1

      ... So does that mean there were 2583 men for every woman? ...

      So yeah, 2583:1 -- or some other ways to put it*...
      - approximately 0.22% of the "female" accounts were real, (0.03% of the total user base) or
      - roughly the same odds as winning $100 in the lottery, on a $5 ticket.

      I've occasionally wondered how on earth sites such as these could possibly attract enough females to genuinely support any kind of a userbase, without hiring prostitutes or the like... I guess now we know the answer: They can't.

      * That is, not involving football fields, as that's already been nicely covered by Tom.

    11. Re:Really? by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 1

      Can someone put this into football fields for me?

      Is that American or European football fields? Doesn't matter, this is /. -- It's cars for analogies and Libraries of Congress for units. Get with the program.

      --
      It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    12. Re:Really? by Paco103 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      It's okay, when it's in a 3 way.
      With a honey in the middle there's some leeway.

    13. Re:Really? by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · · Score: 1

      > That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women.

      Those odds are still far better than the male-to-female ratio of the average Slashdotter's bedroom!

      --
      (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
    14. Re:Really? by gstoddart · · Score: 2

      The more likely scenario is those football fields find themselves wondering where the footballs are.

      The football doesn't need to give a crap about the football fields in this scenario.

      The footballs fields are just a metaphor (for a metaphor) for a sausage fest where most of the guys are wondering what they're spending that money on.

      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
    15. Re:Really? by trabby · · Score: 5, Funny

      2583 way is less of a leeway and more of a honey surrounded by a freeway...

    16. Re:Really? by AmiMoJo · · Score: 1

      There are 22 players, a referee and usually four linesmen on a football field. So there are about 646 football fields per women, unless it's women's football.

      Oh, did you mean American football? I have no idea.

      --
      const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
      SJW, n: "Someone I don't like, and by the way I'm a fuckwit" - AC
    17. Re:Really? by BadPirate · · Score: 1

      31 Million men -> 22 Men per Football Field = 1.4 Million Football Fields : 12,000 Women = 117 Football fields per Actual Woman

      --
      - Holy crap, I've got MOD points! Who thought that was a good idea.
    18. Re:Really? by meeotch · · Score: 2

      If the ratio is anything even close to what the article suggests, I imagine the one woman involved would be particularly uncomfortable.

    19. Re:Really? by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      So you're saying there's a chance...

    20. Re:Really? by amiga3D · · Score: 1

      I'm way too homophobic for that. That shit just creeps me out thinking about it. No.

    21. Re:Really? by Punto · · Score: 1

      I don't know about football fields but it's about 1.8 Libraries of Congress.

      --

      --
      Stay tuned for some shock and awe coming right up after this messages!

    22. Re:Really? by mwehle · · Score: 1

      " That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women"

      So does that mean there were 2583 men for every woman?

      Can someone put this into football fields for me?

      I don't follow football. Can you give a car analogy?

      --
      Wir sind geboren, um frei zu sein - Rio Reiser
    23. Re:Really? by mwehle · · Score: 1

      > That means for every 7750 men, there were 3 women.

      Those odds are still far better than the male-to-female ratio of the average Slashdotter's bedroom!

      Doesn't that depend on the time of day? When Mom comes down to the basement to dust the ratio is 1:1, right?

      --
      Wir sind geboren, um frei zu sein - Rio Reiser
    24. Re:Really? by Snufu · · Score: 1

      I believe the 2583 men number. But the one woman? TOGTFO.

    25. Re:Really? by kaatochacha · · Score: 1

      I'm not sure about football fields, but I believe they all could fit in the library of congress.

  3. So then the question becomes by drinkypoo · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Was Ashley Madison first and foremost a gay hookup site for married men? Or were vanishingly few guys every getting laid through the site? Or were those few women (literally) staggeringly busy?

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    1. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I imagine a large number of the active women were "professionals".

    2. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

      None of the above. It was a blackmail acquisition system.

      There is also the possibility that the public list had a nontrivial portion of the female userbase wiped, I think I heard somewhere that it was swiped and made public by a disgruntled female employee of the place. Even if the list was washed, I still think the whole thing was a blackmail acquisition scam.

    3. Re:So then the question becomes by mark-t · · Score: 2

      That said, I'm wondering how AM even made any money.... didn't they offer something like a money-back guarantee or something if people didn't have an affair within some fixed period of signup, like maybe a month or two? Or did they depend on people becoming indifferent about it, and not trying to get their money back?

    4. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Simply put: you could get your subscription fee back in some circumstances, but you never got refunds on the money you had to spend to message people, to buy virtual gifts, chat sessions etc.

    5. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

      There is also the possibility that the public list had a nontrivial portion of the female userbase wiped, I think I heard somewhere that it was swiped and made public by a disgruntled female employee of the place. Even if the list was washed, I still think the whole thing was a blackmail acquisition scam.

      Hillary Clinton wiped that list as her name was on it, and would soon be revealed by the recovered emails.

    6. Re:So then the question becomes by hawguy · · Score: 5, Informative

      Simply put: you could get your subscription fee back in some circumstances, but you never got refunds on the money you had to spend to message people, to buy virtual gifts, chat sessions etc.

      I think this is what keeps most people from applying for a refund:

      https://www.ashleymadison.com/...

      if it is determined that you have complied with the above requirements, we will mail you a REFUND CHECK for the original purchase (plus any applicable taxes) within 6-8 weeks of receiving your application. Please note that your refund check will state that it is from "Ashley Madison."

      Who wants a check from Ashely Madison sent to their home or work?

    7. Re:So then the question becomes by gmack · · Score: 1

      I would guess the later and I'm guessing most of the actual women on the site charge by the hour.

    8. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Set the movie "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels":

      We start a company, something like giant ass dildos Inc., we tell them that we have the best new rubber to make these out of, take tons of orders. Then we say we lost our rubber supplier, we issue refund checks. Now, how many people are going to go cash those checks from "Giant Ass Dildos Inc."?

    9. Re:So then the question becomes by jandersen · · Score: 5, Funny

      Who wants a check from Ashely Madison sent to their home or work?

      Their employees, presumably.

    10. Re:So then the question becomes by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 1

      More likely they depended on never actually giving any money back, even though they said they would. They seem to be that sort of people.

    11. Re:So then the question becomes by pnutjam · · Score: 1

      That's hilarious.
      I figured that just the secretive nature of the site prevents most people from asking for a refund or suing them if they ignore your request.

    12. Re:So then the question becomes by meta-monkey · · Score: 4, Funny

      Tom: Listen to this one then; you open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club. You take an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, sell it a bit with, er... I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", latest and greatest in sexual technology. Guaranteed results or money back, all that bollocks. These dills cost twenty-five each; a snip for all the pleasure they are going to give the recipients. They send a cheque to the company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five. You put these in the bank for two weeks and let them clear. Now this is the clever bit. Then you send back the cheques for twenty-five pounds from the real company name, Arse Tickler's Faggot Fan Club, saying sorry, we couldn't get the supply from America, they have sold out. Now you see how many of the people cash those cheques; not a single soul, because who wants his bank manager to know he tickles arses when he is not paying in cheques!

      Bacon: So how long do you have to wait for a return?

      Tom: Probably no more than four weeks.

      Bacon: Well what good is that if we need it in six... no, five days?

      Tom: Well it was still a good idea.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    13. Re:So then the question becomes by MightyMartian · · Score: 1

      I have the Monty Python Blackmail gameshow skit running through my head.

      --
      The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
    14. Re:So then the question becomes by jader3rd · · Score: 1

      Who wants a check from Ashely Madison sent to their home or work?

      Before this hack, I had never heard of Ashely Madison, and I suspect that many people hadn't heard of it either. Especially when the hack was first made public all of the news sites described what Ashely Madison was. So I would be surprised if that was discouragement.

    15. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      given the number of self reported success with screwing on ashley madison (comments here and other places) either ashley madison is doing damage control by posting fake testimonials or someone made an imperfect attempt to purge women from the database. Given the hacking groups posted aims (which target Ashley Madison and cheating husbands) it would not surprise me if the hackers had purged a majority of the female accounts.

    16. Re:So then the question becomes by Sibko · · Score: 1

      I suspect the truth is that whoever did the numbers in the OP article fudged them juuuust a bit.

      For example, I see no references made to controlling for fake MALE profiles. Apparently only the female ones can be fake? It almost feels like the point of the article was to say, "Hey look! Men are such cheaters and women hardly cheat at all!"

      And if you told me something like this 5 years ago, I'd have scoffed at it, but with identity politics, online hugboxes, a whole slew of rhetoric and half truths about women in anything, and rampant clickbait articles across the web, quite frankly I don't trust any of the "research" cited by these rags anymore. Not until I can actually look at their numbers and methodology myself.

    17. Re:So then the question becomes by Intrepid+imaginaut · · Score: 1

      Hahaha yeah beat me to it, what a legendary movie. Still though on a more sober note what does this mean? Are women less likely to cheat or do they simply have more readily available partners at hand? I mean I can order my groceries online but there's a supermarket two minutes away so I never bother.

    18. Re:So then the question becomes by MattGWU · · Score: 1

      That's the sort of underhanded genius that you need to succeed in business.

      Mail a check? That's entirely unnecessary. They are 100% doing that so people will be discouraged from asking for a refund. Somebody over there is very pleased with themselves for coming up with that.

      --
      "These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined" --Homer re:
    19. Re:So then the question becomes by hawguy · · Score: 1

      Who wants a check from Ashely Madison sent to their home or work?

      Before this hack, I had never heard of Ashely Madison, and I suspect that many people hadn't heard of it either. Especially when the hack was first made public all of the news sites described what Ashely Madison was. So I would be surprised if that was discouragement.

      If your spouse received a $200+ check from Ashley Madison, wouldn't you be a little curious about where it came from? Especially when you likely are already having marital problems since he posted a profile there. It's not like it'd be hard to research.

    20. Re:So then the question becomes by fredgiblet · · Score: 1

      More readily available partners. Dating is a woman's game for the most part these days.

    21. Re:So then the question becomes by fredgiblet · · Score: 2

      IIRC they applied the same tests to male profiles.

    22. Re:So then the question becomes by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 1

      I think you and your friends are in the minority.

      --
      If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
    23. Re:So then the question becomes by TheRaven64 · · Score: 3, Informative

      Even without that, it's a good scam. You ask people for money to guarantee something that will happen to some of them anyway. Imagine that the odds are 5%. You get 100 people to pay you the $250. 5 of them are lucky, so you keep $1,250. You refund the other $23,750 (after earning interest on it for a year, say $475 at a conservative 2% interest rate). Now you've made $1,725, for doing precisely nothing.

      --
      I am TheRaven on Soylent News
    24. Re:So then the question becomes by meta-monkey · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Combination of several things, probably. One can crawl the AM data for patterns for people who do cheat (or are interested in cheating) via a website, but no such database exists for those who do so without use of a site like AM. So, we can only speculate.

      My completely wild speculation is that this method does not appeal to women.

      A man who wants to have an affair just wants someone fuck, and goes looking for it. A woman who is unhappy does not think "I'm going to have an affair!" and starts shopping around. She gets interested in a specific guy and decides to sleep with him. The man goes to the bar to find a woman to fuck. The woman goes to the bar for a good time, sees somebody she'd like to fuck, and does it. The premeditation required to use a website like AM is a more masculine trait.

      A man cheating on his wife has to take more risks. Back to the bar, the guy is more likely to have to strike up conversations with many women before he can find one who's interested. Every attempt is a risk. Learning he's married, she might expose him. He's seen talking to her, and one of her friends might expose him. "Hell hath no fury" and all that. I think a woman is more likely to inform another woman that her husband is fucking around than a man is likely to inform another man that his wife is unfaithful. And I don't think it's a secret that it's a lot easier for a woman to walk up to a guy she doesn't know and say "wanna fuck" and succeed, than it is for a man to walk up to a woman and do the same thing. So the whole discretion thing of AM is a much more enticing lure for a man than it is a woman.

      And finally...women in general are not as interested in technological solutions to problems as men are. And remember AM has been operating since 2001. So think about the changing demographic of those who are "tech savvy" across that entire time period. When someone thinks "I want to have an affair," I think it's far more likely the person who thinks "I know, I'll go look on the internet!" is going to be a man than a woman.

      So, there's a bunch of wild speculation with extreme generalizations that in no way reflect the opinions of Major League Baseball, or anything else, really.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    25. Re:So then the question becomes by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      Tinder: The app that gets the top 10% of men by positive sexual characteristics an unbelievable amount of pussy.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    26. Re:So then the question becomes by phorm · · Score: 1

      Wasn't this a joke in some movie (I'm thinking a Kevin Smith flick but could be another), where essentially the item arrived in discreet packaging but all refund were cheques in big glaring envelopes from "Bob's a**vibrator company" or something like that.

    27. Re:So then the question becomes by Crimey+McBiggles · · Score: 1

      It's the same as any dating service. Most women don't need a website to get laid, and they have no desire to sign up for a service that essentially provides them with a constant stream of dick pics or the text-based equivalent.

      --
      Crimey
    28. Re:So then the question becomes by Idarubicin · · Score: 3, Informative

      I suspect the truth is that whoever did the numbers in the OP article fudged them juuuust a bit.

      For example, I see no references made to controlling for fake MALE profiles. Apparently only the female ones can be fake?

      The analyses shown provided the data for both male and female profiles, which you would know if you had just read the article. The article also explicitly acknowledged that we don't know if the leaked data were manipulated or scrubbed in some way--of course, it's not like we're ever going to be given access to known-genuine data.

      That said, there wasn't an obvious incentive for AM to fake male profiles. Unlike males, females were not charged to use the service. (Presumably because it *is* difficult to recruit women to these sites. It's not like we don't see offline parallels--there's a reason why bars have Ladies' Nights.) AM only made money when men contacted women. AM doesn't make money if real women send messages to fake men. Heck, it would cost them money, since those real women wouldn't be interacting with AM's paying male customers.

      --
      ~Idarubicin
    29. Re:So then the question becomes by amicusNYCL · · Score: 1

      I seriously doubt this is limited to Ashley Madison, I would be interested to see the numbers from other sites. Not one of them publishes data like this though. Every woman I know who signs up for a site gets crushed by the number of messages she gets. The raw numbers of an 86/14 ratio are probably fairly in line with other sites, but if a large number of those female profiles aren't even real then it seems like a bunch of horny dudes just hanging out together. Probably not all that unlike Slashdot, actually.

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
    30. Re:So then the question becomes by amicusNYCL · · Score: 1

      And who wants to prove that they did not have an affair?

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
    31. Re:So then the question becomes by ThomasBHardy · · Score: 1

      Given the general behavior of the company, I'd more likely believe the following scenario:

      Guy signs up for the $250 guarantee.
      AM employee signs onto a female account and messages guy, sets up a meet
      AM employee of course never shows.
      Guy demands a refund after 3 months.
      AM responds "Our logs clearly show that you had a hookup."
      Guy: She never showed up
      AM: We have no proof of that. You may file a lawsuit against us if you wish.
      Guy: Glances at the family portrait, hangs up the phone and pretends it never happened.

      --
      Warning: Teh poster of this messaeg is lysdexic
    32. Re:So then the question becomes by ceoyoyo · · Score: 3, Insightful

      There are reasons to fake male profiles. Having lots of male profiles with nice pictures and soothing, non psychopathic text helps with recruiting females and maybe getting them to stick around.

    33. Re:So then the question becomes by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      Hope springs eternal. Guys stay on the sight hoping someone eventually bites. AM in return has fake accounts that respond occasionally keeping the hope alive. Eventually the men move on, but their accounts stick around to get included in the stats.

    34. Re:So then the question becomes by Darinbob · · Score: 1

      Ashley Madison had already made the mainstream news a bit before the hacking, because of its inherently scandalous nature. I think I first read about them on BBC (part of their periodic look into what are crazy Americans doing this week). They never intended to be a secretive dating company and were advertising widely. You don't get 30 million users by keeping a low profile.

    35. Re:So then the question becomes by goodmanj · · Score: 1

      Please note that your refund check will state that it is from "Ashley Madison."

      Genius!

    36. Re:So then the question becomes by operagost · · Score: 1

      Wiped? What, like with a cloth or something?

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    37. Re:So then the question becomes by fredgiblet · · Score: 1

      Yep. Read an article on a Gawker subsidiary about the dating scene in New York, how it's dominated by guys using Tinder to get one night stands. They interviewed some women as well, they expressed disappointment with the status quo and it's just like "Well maybe you should stop using an app dedicated to one night stands?"

    38. Re:So then the question becomes by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      "But I want a lasting relationship from the app that requires users to make snap judgements of people based solely on appearance!"

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    39. Re:So then the question becomes by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      What if you run the numbers and find fake females are cheaper than real ones? Not like they care one way or the other.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    40. Re:So then the question becomes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      That's absolutely true. Here's how it worked: a "professional" woman would sign up to AM, then arrange to meet with several of the men who contacted her. She would then rent a motel room for a day, and see each man perhaps for just 1-2 hours, and then ask that he leaves straight away due to a variety of made-up excuses, like she has to go home to make dinner, pick up the kids, go to an appointment, etc.

      Her only request would be that each man reimburse her for the cost of the motel room, in cash of course.
      So if she sees 6 men in a day, she makes $(room cost * 5).

      And each man believes he is having a quick fling with a hot, unhappy housewife. Everyone is happy!

           

    41. Re:So then the question becomes by Lehk228 · · Score: 1

      when women cheat they don't usually start out looking to cheat, they start out becoming more than friends with someone they were close with.

      when men cheat "i don't want to fuck my wife today, i want to fuck a 19 year old"

      --
      Snowden and Manning are heroes.
    42. Re:So then the question becomes by Idarubicin · · Score: 1

      There are reasons to fake male profiles. Having lots of male profiles with nice pictures and soothing, non psychopathic text helps with recruiting females and maybe getting them to stick around.

      Sure, that's a hypothetical possibility.

      In practice, though, there's nothing about the evidence at hand to suggest that that has happened. And you haven't presented a particularly persuasive case (or any case) to suggest why the fake male accounts would log in to read and reply to messages, where the female fake accounts would not. On its face, one would tend to expect the opposite behavior--AM would have benefitted directly (financially speaking) from encouraging the men to keep chatting with the fake women.

      --
      ~Idarubicin
    43. Re:So then the question becomes by fredgiblet · · Score: 1

      "But all my friends are on Tinder!"

    44. Re:So then the question becomes by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

      There's no persuasive evidence to indicate that Ashely Madison didn't fake female profiles. There IS evidence they faked profiles. Assuming they were only female seems a bit biased, no?

      Note that your objection about fake profiles not chatting doesn't really hold up. Fake female profiles also don't chat. The idea is to keep presenting pictures and profiles that you like, to keep the hope alive.

    45. Re:So then the question becomes by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Was Ashley Madison first and foremost a gay hookup site for married men?

      Wouldn't you just sign up to a gay hookup site instead?

      It's not like you're going to be in any more trouble if your wife finds out, is it?

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    46. Re:So then the question becomes by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Wow, that's about as blatant as Big Doug's Protection Industries writing "ooh, nice place, shame if it got broken" on their business cards.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    47. Re:So then the question becomes by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Tinder: The app that gets the top 10% of men by positive sexual characteristics an unbelievable amount of pussy.

      Does knowing the dialogue to all the Star Wars films by heart count among the top 10% of positive sexual characteristics?

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    48. Re:So then the question becomes by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      So, you, ah, busy later?

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    49. Re:So then the question becomes by Idarubicin · · Score: 1

      There's no persuasive evidence to indicate that Ashely Madison didn't fake female profiles. There IS evidence they faked profiles. Assuming they were only female seems a bit biased, no?

      Note that your objection about fake profiles not chatting doesn't really hold up. Fake female profiles also don't chat. The idea is to keep presenting pictures and profiles that you like, to keep the hope alive.

      I'm not sure if I'm being particularly unclear, or if you haven't looked at the original article and so are unfamiliar with the context for my remarks.

      One of the flags that the analysis used to estimate relative proportions of "real" to "fake" accounts were a couple of data fields that were maintained in AM's private data but not accessible from the public-facing side of the site. These fields included information on when an account holder last checked his or her messages (if ever), when an account holder last used the AM chat system (if ever), and when an account account holder last replied to a message (if ever).

      The number of male accounts which had carried out at least some of these activities at least once was on the same order as the total number of male accounts. (Of 30 million male accounts, about 20 million had checked their messages.) The number of female accounts which had carried out at least some of these activities was only a minuscule fraction of the total number of female accounts. (Of about 5 million female accounts, a few thousand had checked or sent messages.)

      Do the data we have support the notion that fake females vastly outnumbered real females? Yep. It it possible that there were faked male profiles as well? Sure. Do the data we have support the notion that fake males make up any but a minority of male accounts? Nope.

      --
      ~Idarubicin
  4. No real women on slashdot either by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Only transgenders with SJW propaganda

    1. Re:No real women on slashdot either by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Nothing wrong with sucking a feminine penis here and there.

  5. Colour me suprised by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Seems like most dating/casual sex sites I've been on

    1. Re:Colour me suprised by JackieBrown · · Score: 4, Interesting

      About 18 months after my wife died, I went on POF and was on it for about 6 months. I didn't want to date anyone from work and am to socially awkward to meet people at bars or clubs.

      There are an amazing number of available woman. It took me a while getting used to how fast people moved on a first date - even on a lunch first date.

      That said, I met a few quality people and am now engaged with someone I met from that site.

    2. Re:Colour me suprised by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

      Password reset, change all profile information, change password, change e-mail address = problem solved.

      How often do you want to do that? Because it can get downright tiring...

      --
      "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
    3. Re:Colour me suprised by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

      I'm currently receiving the alarm monitoring notifications for some woman in the northeastern US. Address, name, time, date, and what action (alarm on, alarm off, gone to bed, etc.). The messages are no reply and the alarm company doesn't appear to have any kind of e-mail address I can contact. I checked to see if it was the same person who signed me up for the mailing list for her kids' school, but apparently not.

      People really should be more careful.

    4. Re:Colour me suprised by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      It took me a while getting used to how fast people moved on a first date - even on a lunch first date.

      Ah yes, the old "shagging in Mickey D's toilets" scenario.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
  6. Does any one care? by Lord+Apathy · · Score: 2

    I've been wondering for a long time now about this Ashley Madison issue. After the hacking has gone down does any one really still give a shit about this story?

    --

    Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification

    1. Re:Does any one care? by Tom · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Yes, because this data set gives us interesting insights into so many topics. From figuring out what your chances of actually meeting a woman on such sites, to demographical analysis (how does the data set in the AM database vary from the average demographics? How can we explain the difference? Self-reporting bias (i.e. presenting yourself better than you are), of course, but maybe there is more?

      Blackmailing these people really is just skiming the surface for easy-to-catch fish. If you dig deep into such a dataset, who knows what you can find?

      Are their profile texts included? I'm sure you can do so many interesting linguistical analysis if you have both the texts and the demographic data. I know this has been done in the past on other dating sites for research projects, but here you have an even more specific set. We can measure deception in written language - do these profiles show above-average signs of deception, or are these people who deceive their spouses honest to their potential online partners?

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    2. Re:Does any one care? by Virtucon · · Score: 2

      Only about the fact that there are reports of extortion and suicides now linked to the hack including a police captain.

      --
      Harrison's Postulate - "For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism"
    3. Re:Does any one care? by circletimessquare · · Score: 1

      It's a security hit on wealthy men in rich countries.

      so it gets more notice

      it's not like just another gun murder in a poor ghetto, which is actually shocking and a shame about our era that we consider that normal

      --
      intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
    4. Re:Does any one care? by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      Exactly. I'm actually in the process of doing the exact thing this author did. I do not, in any way, care about the personal identities of the users. But that data all loaded up in MySQL, with R churning away...not everybody's idea of fun, but, well, I am a nerd.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    5. Re:Does any one care? by Rob+Riggs · · Score: 1

      I've been wondering for a long time now about this Ashley Madison issue. After the hacking has gone down does any one really still give a shit about this story?

      Well, they were trying to go public (IPO). *If* they misled investors about the way their business worked, this might land a few folks in hot water.

      --
      the growth in cynicism and rebellion has not been without cause
    6. Re:Does any one care? by phorm · · Score: 1

      Also, that how many of these sites (including, or possibly especially the big names) are outright fraudulent. I couldn't care less about the paying members, but the emails on internal business practices certainly sound interesting.

    7. Re:Does any one care? by rhazz · · Score: 4, Interesting

      It is surprising that there are not MORE suicides correlated with that list, just based on general suicide statistics.

      - General US suicide rate for men is 19.4 per 100,000 per year. (wiki)
      - If there were 31,000,000 men on AM, let's assume a quarter are in the US, so 7,750,000.
      - Based on the above suicide rate, one could expect 1503 suicides from that group within a year. That is 4.1 suicides per day.

      People have discovered that 3 different people from the group committed suicide since it was dumped. Statistically there should be at least another dozen or two.

      I am not a statistician, feel free to correct my math/assumptions.

    8. Re:Does any one care? by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      I can see that. But, assuming my previous post was truthful and not mere e-peen waving on a tech site they would have to track down the "hacker on steroids known as meta-monkey" as I would never post anything like that under my own name or use company resources, as this person did.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    9. Re:Does any one care? by Tom · · Score: 1

      this torrent is legally questionable to download

      Depends on your jurisdiction.

      In many jurisdictions, data about real-world facts cannot be copyrighted, so the only theoretically copyrightable parts are the texts that users wrote (profile texts and emails), and I would guess that AM is not the coypright holder (thought they could have a clause in the contract saying posting something on the site is a transferal of copyright).

      So they could claim trade secret, but in many jurisdictions once your secret is no longer secret, it is not a trade secret anymore. Basically, the courts refuse to participate in the "let's sue everyone because the whole world knows" scenario.

      Since you don't have a connection to the original hackers, what crime you think they would sue you for?

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    10. Re:Does any one care? by Milharis · · Score: 1

      Probably because it's hard to link a suicide to a specific cause. And even if it is (eg someone left a message to his spouse), the reason is probably not going to get out often.

      Also, other factors on top of my head that might influence it:
      -not every wife is going to want to check the list, and I guess most people would commit suicide only once they've been discovered.
      -it's not really easy to access the list, I think you have to download it from some torrent. So to be discovered you need a wife who has a doubt and want to have a look, plus have the knowledge to do so.
      -some of the accounts are probably fakes.
      -there's the "easy" excuse of "someone else created an account for me! I think it's that guy at work that hates me". It's probably true for quite a few people too, it's an attractive target for a revenge/prank, just like gay porn websites. I think Obama's email address is in the dump for instance

    11. Re:Does any one care? by proto · · Score: 1

      During the first week since the data breach I've heard commentators on public radio speculate that the numbers of Ashley Madison (AM) female subscribers had to be 40- 52% ("it takes two to tango", "women are just as bad as men.." etc). I've also heard the rhetoric of how people despise cheaters ("they deserve what they get.." etc) not taking into account that the service didn't use the typical confirmation/verify method for emails. You could have created a fake account with your worst enemy's email address and no one would have known! Leave it to the pros to examine the data so that they can properly inform the public instead of the media feeding the public F*uk-those-cheaters-they-deserve-what-they-get sound bytes and misinformation without the basis of facts to stand on. The only good that may come out of this is the closing of the AM scammy service and what the data on modern male sexuality could tell us.

    12. Re:Does any one care? by Tom · · Score: 1

      The primary test for all kinds of organized crime is that there has to be an agreement between the involved parties, an understanding to commit a crime together. That is usually the difficult part to prove.

      A torrent is more like a mob. You can leave or join at any time and nobody else cares much. There's very little organisation. I don't think you could successfully bring an organized crime charge against a mob.

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
  7. So was this... by dosius · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...something along the lines of "Welcome to the Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents" ?

    --
    What you hear in the ear, preach from the rooftop Matthew 10.27b
    1. Re:So was this... by U2xhc2hkb3QgU3Vja3M · · Score: 3, Funny

      “In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.” Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

    2. Re:So was this... by GlennC · · Score: 1

      That's exactly what it was.

      The sad (but funny) part is that there appears to be a lot of people who are surprised by this. Perhaps we've just been here a while.

      --
      Go on, citizen, stamp the vote card. R or D, your choice.
    3. Re:So was this... by clark0r · · Score: 1

      I think you're quoting http://bash.org/?2832 "-Global- [Logon News - Dec 29 2001] Welcome to Evolnet! Where the men are men, the women are men, and the boys are fbi agents. but some of the men are really women. Enjoy!"

    4. Re:So was this... by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      All the men on lesbian chat rooms really are gay. There are no women there.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
  8. That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by scunc · · Score: 1

    7750 men for every 3 women. To anyone surprised by this, let me be the first to say--welcome to the Internet.

    1. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by rubycodez · · Score: 2

      More women than slashdot, I think I've seen five here over the last 17 years

    2. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by KatchooNJ · · Score: 2

      More women than slashdot, I think I've seen five here over the last 17 years

      Keep in mind that not all women on here are obvious. Most people don't realize I'm a woman, because I don't bring it up often when talking technical stuff online. heh

      --
      "Never give up, for that is just the time and place when the tide will change." -Harriet Beecher Stowe ^_^
    3. Re: That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by organgtool · · Score: 1

      A woman on Slashdot? And you're presumably also from Dirty Jersey? Giggity!

    4. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm a woma

      Yeah, sure you are. I'm not falling for that again ...

      --
      Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
    5. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by rubycodez · · Score: 1

      actually you've mentioned being female gamer a few times over the years

    6. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

      That's how you know for sure he is lying

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    7. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by KatchooNJ · · Score: 1

      True... but since you obviously sorted through my posts over the years, you also noticed that most of them don't mention my gender. ;-) I don't make it a total secret... it just usually isn't worth bringing up with tech talk on a forum.

      --
      "Never give up, for that is just the time and place when the tide will change." -Harriet Beecher Stowe ^_^
    8. Re:That's Quite the Gender Ratio ... by rubycodez · · Score: 1

      nope, typical male slashdot geek has severe phobia about identifying as female

  9. "stealing money from lonely, unhappy men." by umafuckit · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Go watch "Love Me" (available on Netflix) about Ukrainian "mail order" brides. Those guys are charging ten bucks per message from the guy to the woman. Ostensibly because of the translation services they off. One of the dudes on there was out $10k on messages to one woman alone.

  10. Fixed it for you. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 5, Insightful

    But a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a thief stealing money from lonely, unhappy men.

    But a realist would say Ashley Madison is just cheating men cheating on their wives.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
    1. Re:Fixed it for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I don't think you understood the summary. At best, they were attempting to cheat.

    2. Re:Fixed it for you. by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 5, Insightful

      But a realist would have to ask uncomfortable questions like why such men were lonely and unhappy in the first place.

      When a woman gets married and has children, her whole life changes. Her husband is no longer the focus of her life, her children are. She loses interest in sex, and doesn't see why she should have to do it any more. If she wants another child, sure, but otherwise not. To her, it's just one more person who wants something from her at the end of a long day at work, and this one she can actually say "no" to. So, she does.

      Meanwhile, the husband, cut completely off from one source of sex he is allowed to have, grows increasingly desperate and unhappy. I don't condone cheating at all - but damn, marriage doesn't mean celibacy. Or, it shouldn't. This is the point at which feminists burst into the conversation shouting "RAPE!" (but they always do that) and that's not my argument at all. A wife *should* love her husband and *want* to have sex with him of her own free will. This isn't happening.

      Nobody supports cheating men, but let's be honest here, men need to have sex in order to keep healthy and sane. A website that promises it to them for only $19.95 per month is going to get customers, plain and simple. Remember: desperate and unhappy. Human beings are capable of some pretty fucked-up actions when they become desperate enough. The fact that this website didn't even have any women to match the men to just makes them even more scumbags than we already knew.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    3. Re:Fixed it for you. by Rei · · Score: 2, Funny

      When a woman gets married and has children, her whole life changes. Her husband is no longer the focus of her life, her children are. She loses interest in sex, and doesn't see why she should have to do it any more. If she wants another child, sure, but otherwise not. To her, it's just one more person who wants something from her at the end of a long day at work, and this one she can actually say "no" to. So, she does.

      Meanwhile, the husband, cut completely off from one source of sex he is allowed to have, grows increasingly desperate and unhappy.

      Okay, sorry for the tangent, but: how on Earth are people from the year 1958 managing to make posts on Slashdot that show up today? How are they even getting a bloody net connection back then?

      --
      Stale pastry is hollow succor to one who is bereft of ostrich.
    4. Re:Fixed it for you. by HornWumpus · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Men can divorce their fridged wives for abandonment. The same cause of action a woman has on a man who cuts off the money. Funny that.

      --
      John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
    5. Re:Fixed it for you. by PvtVoid · · Score: 1

      When a woman gets married and has children, her whole life changes. Her husband is no longer the focus of her life, her children are. She loses interest in sex, and doesn't see why she should have to do it any more. If she wants another child, sure, but otherwise not. To her, it's just one more person who wants something from her at the end of a long day at work, and this one she can actually say "no" to. So, she does.

      Meanwhile, the husband, cut completely off from one source of sex he is allowed to have, grows increasingly desperate and unhappy. I don't condone cheating at all - but damn, marriage doesn't mean celibacy. Or, it shouldn't. This is the point at which feminists burst into the conversation shouting "RAPE!" (but they always do that) and that's not my argument at all. A wife *should* love her husband and *want* to have sex with him of her own free will. This isn't happening.

      I'm very sorry this happened to your friend. He must have come out of the experience with a horribly distorted view of women and a huge problem with misogyny.

    6. Re:Fixed it for you. by ahodgson · · Score: 3, Insightful

      And lose your kids, half your assets, and a good chunk of your pay cheque for possible the rest of your life.

      And people wonder why guys don't want to get married.

    7. Re:Fixed it for you. by jdavidb · · Score: 1

      But a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a thief stealing money from lonely, unhappy men.

      But a realist would say Ashley Madison is just cheating men cheating on their wives.

      I think a realist would say that Ashley Madison is just men trying to cheat on their wives but generally failing because there are no women to cheat with.

      The Josh Duggar revelation took me by surprise because my first thought was "He was unfaithful, really? With who - I don't think there were any real women on that site." (Now it sounds like it was unfaithful through other venues. I wonder if he even had a genuine affair through AM. For awhile I wondered if he was just calling the act of signing up alone "unfaithful.")

    8. Re:Fixed it for you. by swb · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I don't know that I agree with the specific phrasing of the parent poster -- mostly for rhetorical reasons -- but I think he's right, despite the ridiculous criticism of the followup posters.

      I'm 48 years old and 100% of the married men in my peer group (middle class, mostly white males married to mostly white females, all with white collar jobs) complain about their wives lack of interest in sex. ALL of them. I don't think any of the conventional explanations make sense.

      As far as I know from my experience with them in domestic situations, all are good contributors to their kids parenting -- two have wives with more demanding jobs and their husbands probably do MORE parenting than their wives. None have any kind of financial problems. All but one are in excellent physical shape, and the former, while "chunky" looks like he did when he was 25, so he's no more out of shape than he was when he was married.

      Two of them have both told me stories that when they were trying to have children -- even their second -- their wives were extremely interested in sex, and once the second baby came along -- BAM! -- no interest. Like a switch had flipped, and neither has related any significant life change that happened concurrently (major change in job responsibilities, etc).

      My explanation for this is that this is mostly evolutionary biology in action. When women who have given birth hit their 40s, they lose their sex drive. The biology is probably buried in hormonal changes, especially considering that women hit menopause and go infertile.

      In terms of evolution, it makes sense that biologically women would lose interest in sex as their bodies become less able to bear children. Women over 40 have increased risk of pregnancy problems, children with chromosomal problems, etc, all things that could be a threat to her or her other offspring if she were to die in childbirth. Childbearing and childrearing is demanding physically, and the older people get the less physical stamina they have.

      I think as a well-known phenomenon its probably even gotten "worse" because women are less dependent on men and have greater legal recognition. In times past, older, married women probably didn't want sex any more than they do now, but either went along with it because they felt they had to or their husbands just took it because they could (yes, this is gross, and no I would never support the idea of a husband raping his wife).

    9. Re:Fixed it for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      What, specifically, about the above post do you find antiquated? The idea that married couples should have sex regularly?

    10. Re:Fixed it for you. by PvtVoid · · Score: 1

      The Josh Duggar revelation took me by surprise because my first thought was "He was unfaithful, really? With who - I don't think there were any real women on that site." (Now it sounds like it was unfaithful through other venues. I wonder if he even had a genuine affair through AM. For awhile I wondered if he was just calling the act of signing up alone "unfaithful.")

      Oh, come on. I'm sure that "Self-righteous Christian reality TV star and admitted child molester seeks married women for discreet encounters (no diseases)" was a total chick-magnet profile.

    11. Re:Fixed it for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      In a "no fault" state you don't need a reason for a divorce. Parent is referencing states where "fault" is a factor in family law cases. These are the states which are most profitable for private detectives because they result in sexual "breath-holding contests" where one party wants the marriage dissolved on favorable terms to themselves so they use rationing or withholding of sex as a means to achieve the desired outcome. The spouses will stubbornly prolong their marriage on increasingly undesirable terms until their desired effect of divorce is achieved.

      In these states, the following quote would be relevant:
      "In the case of sexual relations, constructive abandonment means a spouse leaves the marriage in spirit by refusal to have sexual relations. In sexual desertion, which is considered a fault ground, the party charging it must prove abandonment, generally for one year, during which the spouses may share the same roof (but presumably not the same bed)."

    12. Re:Fixed it for you. by ceoyoyo · · Score: 1

      If you try to divorce your fridged wife you have to answer all sorts of embarrassing questions about how she got in the fridge in the first place.

    13. Re:Fixed it for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      "And lose your kids, half your assets, and a good chunk of your pay cheque for possible the rest of your life."

      We're talking about someone who is willing to get a divorce because he's not getting enough sex. How about instead, the man handle it like a sane and rational person. You talk to your wife about the lack of sex that is oh so important to you. Explain that it is causing a rift in the relationship, but that you still love each other. Discuss what you both can do to make it work. If it's still too difficult, they have marriage counselors, plenty of which understand the importance of sex in a relationship.

      If you can't have that kind of conversation with your spouse, there are deeper problems than just a lack of sex. In which case, you really do need marriage counseling.

      The solution though is not to secretly go out and find people to have sex with. Otherwise, like you said, why in the hell get married in the first place? I'm sure women would agree.

    14. Re:Fixed it for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      I think he finds antiquated the idea that a man can express his actual thoughts on the subject involving women and sex.

    15. Re:Fixed it for you. by Princeofcups · · Score: 1

      But a realist would have to ask uncomfortable questions like why such men were lonely and unhappy in the first place.

      So realists are big on blaming the victim?

      --
      The only thing worse than a Democrat is a Republican.
    16. Re:Fixed it for you. by david_thornley · · Score: 1

      You may be overgeneralizing just a touch.

      --
      "When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
    17. Re:Fixed it for you. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      This is pretty much my situation - early 50's, two kids in their 20's and a wife with a physically demanding job (she works with children all day) who is pre-menopausal and not enjoying it one bit. After watching our sex life go from a few times a month to never in about a year, I found myself asking the classic question: "am I better off with or without her". I love my wife, despite the lack of intimacy, and wasn't particularly interested in going through a divorce given what my brother experienced: his wife launched a scorched-earth campaign that dragged out for years. And I didn't want to be hasty - I heard some couples can rebound and recover some of their sex life after menopause fully sets in.

      So I decided to take a wait-and-see approach. Not wanting to keep my urges blocked up inside me (literally - I have a family history of prostate issues), I explained to my wife how I felt and told her we basically had two options before us: she gives me some "privacy" on a regular basis to deal with it (by myself - no affairs - just me and the wonderful selection of inspiring images and videos available on the internet), or I would be looking to exit stage left. At first she balked, but after some thought she decided she was better off keeping me around.

      Call it what you will, but so far it works for us. We'll see what happens a few years from now. I still might find myself implementing plan B.

    18. Re:Fixed it for you. by roca · · Score: 2

      I'm mid-40s, my wife's a little older, our two kids are in their teens. No apparent loss of interest in sex from either of us. There was a period of reduced interest, but we got through it.

      Two differences from your story: 1) my wife doesn't work right now (hopefully soon). 2) We're Christians, and regular sex is a commitment (1 Corinthians 7).

    19. Re:Fixed it for you. by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      When a woman gets married and has children, her whole life changes. Her husband is no longer the focus of her life, her children are. She loses interest in sex, and doesn't see why she should have to do it any more. If she wants another child, sure, but otherwise not. To her, it's just one more person who wants something from her at the end of a long day at work, and this one she can actually say "no" to. So, she does.

      Meanwhile, the husband, cut completely off from one source of sex he is allowed to have, grows increasingly desperate and unhappy.

      There is an easy fix for this. They're called hookers.
      Stay married, and have as much sex as you can afford. Win, win.

    20. Re:Fixed it for you. by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      I'm 48 years old and 100% of the married men in my peer group (middle class, mostly white males married to mostly white females, all with white collar jobs) complain about their wives lack of interest in sex. ALL of them. I don't think any of the conventional explanations make sense.

      Of course it makes sense. Men want sex their whole lives, women only want sex to have kids. Society doesn't want to accept this and oppresses male sexuality by enforcing this primitive concept called monogamy. Once you accept that sexual monogamy is a myth, life gets a whole lot easier.
      (It's worth noting that social monogamy can still be maintained with sexual freedom, just don't tell the missus)

    21. Re:Fixed it for you. by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      When women who have given birth hit their 40s, they lose their sex drive.

      No, quite the contrary in fact. I thought this was a well known fact?

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    22. Re:Fixed it for you. by swb · · Score: 1

      It doesn't seem to pan out that way, at least in my exposure to couples in their 40s. Every man I know in his 40s complains about the lack of sex in his marriage, and conventional explanations of imbalanced parenting, housekeeping, substantial physical appearance changes, etc always seem to be contradicted, often in multiple categories, in any given example.

      "Jeff" complains about sex being a 1-2 times a month activity, but Jeff does about 60% of the parenting in my experience, is 6 years younger than his wife and is outstanding physical shape and very attractive (when we go out, he's almost embarrassed at how often women hit on him in bars). His wife runs a freelance marketing business and he's a solo practice attorney, so both have jobs of about equivalent levels of responsibility and income as I understand it.

      My sense is that any theory of lessened sex drive in women over 40 may be contingent on marital status (ie, married) and childbearing status (have given birth) as strong influencers. Women who never married or never have given birth may have stronger social or biological influences that increase their interest in sex.

      With the recent FDA approval of flibanserin (the "female Viagra"), there has been a lot of debate over it with a not insignificant chorus of women supporting it because "they want to have sex but just don't have the desire". I'd also doubt that such a drug would get developed and put through FDA scrutiny if the company and investors lacked decent data that said a good sized market didn't exist for it.

      Like anything else, I don't think you can arbitrarily say "all older women don't want sex" or "women over 40 want more sex". It's probably most likely that both things can be true at the same time but with clusters of characteristics around both groupings.

    23. Re:Fixed it for you. by athenaprime · · Score: 1

      First off, the idea that marriage to a woman means that a man has "purchased" her compliance from thenceforth in all matters of sex. Protip: When a woman gets married and has children, her whole life changes AND SO DOES HER HUSBAND'S. If her husband discovers that teh_bewbz are no longer his toys and he has to share with the kid, it is up to him to learn how to share with the kid.

      Assuming that the husband's role is just to keep stumbling through doing what he always did is straight outta 1958 and does not fly with Real Persons of Lady Persuasion.

      Perhaps Mr. Desperate and Unhappy could try to modify his behavior with the radical change that the rest of his family has gone through.

      Of course, if he just married her for easy, convenient, unrefusable sex, that's probably not a match made in heaven in the first place.

      The real dialogue of the AM hack (after all the delightful schadenfreude of the "Family Values" crew's frequent-flyer statuses have been suitably mocked) should really focus on what marriage can and should mean. It's clear from the number of members (real or otherwise) that fidelity in marriage is a...somewhat fluid state in reality, as opposed to what the Powers That Be have declared. Maybe people will begin to understand that a modern marriage is a partnership, and within the relationship, it's the members of the marriage that should both agree to the same terms.

      On the other hand, maybe all we'll get is sick and tired of sex scandals.

    24. Re:Fixed it for you. by athenaprime · · Score: 1

      Aside from "Jeff"'s parenting contribution, passive physical attractiveness, and workplace productivity...do he and his wife actually *talk* to each other? Quite honestly, "Jeff" sounds like a hell of an employee, and I'd hire him in a heartbeat, but a spouse is not a resume. Even if "Jeff" is fulfilling all these task duties (while Mrs. "Jeff" is also doing parenting, housekeeping, financial contribution, and personal upkeep), does he *like* his wife? Does she like him? Are they friends? Do they socialize together? Does "Jeff" know what turns her on in bed? Has he ever asked? Or does he stick his fingers in his ears and say, "Lalala I can't hear you" whenever the subject of foreplay comes up?

      I'm seeing a lot of assumptions in this thread that treat a marriage as if it's a job interview or a performance review. These guys on AM--are they putting "good parenting skills" and "hard-worker with management potential" in their AM profiles? Hell, no (unless that's some new kink). They're putting, "Likes to party," or "adventurous" or "Let's play dress-up" - why is this not the purview of the women to whom they entrusted their seed and household?

      If you can't ask your partner for intimacy, then it's not biology, it's communication. There's something wrong there, and you both need to re-negotiate the relationship. "Jeff" might do better to start figuring out why he married Mrs. "Jeff" in the first place, if they still feel the same about each other, why or why not, and both figure out what to do about it going forward. At the very least, it'll save on his credit card bill.

    25. Re:Fixed it for you. by swb · · Score: 1

      I'm not "Jeff's" marriage counselor, nor exposed to all the private details of his or any of my other friend's lives. It could just be that birds of a feather flock together, and we're all generally friends because we share similar personalities and weaknesses and that just leads to a high correlation of similar relationship strengths and weaknesses.

      If you can't ask your partner for intimacy, then it's not biology, it's communication.

      You can ask for sex, but I don't think you can ask for intimacy -- intimacy requires an organic desire that originates within the partners. Sex can kindle intimacy, but it can't create it.

      I think one of the challenges, though, of the asking is that if you ask and you get it, what are you actually getting? Are you getting a partner who is motivated out of an organic, genuine interest, or are you getting a partner who's going along to get along?

      At best you might get a partner who provides a theatrically convincing orifice for you to orgasm in. At worst, you get an emotionally dead, passive participant, the stereotypical cold fish who just lies there and might as well have a visible thought bubble that says "Are you finished yet?"

      When people complain about "not enough sex" I suspect that it's not exclusively frequency that's the complaint, it's at least as much a complaint about a lack of organic, internally originated enthusiasm for sex.

      I think some men just don't care (the old joke: "Why do women fake their orgasms? Because they think men care."), and view sex as the same whether she just holds still long enough for him to finish or whether she puts on a garter and fishnet stockings and talks dirty. It wouldn't surprise me that lack of sexual satisfaction among married men today is a function of women who don't feel obligated to go along with "the marital duty" and men being more aware of what their wives actually want, creating a kind of negative feedback loop.

  11. Yeah... by erp_consultant · · Score: 3, Interesting

    and how many of those female profiles were just astroturf Ashley Madison profiles put there to entice men into joining?

    The whole thing is just a sad commentary on the current state of affairs (no pun intended) of the world we live in. Who are the real villains here? The cheating husbands or the people at AM that set up this apparently honey pot of a web site to lure men in and then charge them to delete their profiles after the fact? A curse on all their houses I say.

    1. Re:Yeah... by Djoulihen · · Score: 2

      and then charge them to delete their profiles after the fact

      You mean charge them to not really delete their profiles after the fact ?

    2. Re:Yeah... by erp_consultant · · Score: 1

      Right - which evidently was part of the reason that the hackers got involved in the first place.

    3. Re:Yeah... by bleh-of-the-huns · · Score: 4, Interesting

      My guess, based on my knowledge of regulatory requirements, is that the profile itself was actually deleted, however financial transactions all have a data retention requirement, 7 years or 5 years, I forget. So forcing men to pay to delete, results in the data about his profile being deleted, but that financial transaction tied to that process had to be kept.

      --
      I came, I conquered, I coredumped
    4. Re:Yeah... by grahamsz · · Score: 1

      I think the fact that I haven't seen any legitimate journalistic source actually interview people who've had a long string of torrid affairs from the site probably tells us how well it actually works.

    5. Re:Yeah... by RogerWilco · · Score: 2

      Well, one thing I understood from the linked article, is that except for the email address, which was changed to , nothing seems to have been changed on "deleted" accounts.

      --
      RogerWilco the Adventurous Janitor
  12. No surprise by koan · · Score: 2

    I figured a site like that would be a sausage fest, women don't seem to have as much trouble getting laid as most men do.

    --
    "If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
  13. a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a thief by Nutria · · Score: 1

    Likewise, Axe is a thief for selling boys on the idea that spraying themselves will make babes throw themselves at said stinky young men, and Pantene is a thief for selling women on the idea that using their brand of shampoo will make them supermodels.

    Or... gurps_npc is a socialist idiot who doesn't know how humans are actually motivated.

    --
    "I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
  14. Remarkable odds by Virtucon · · Score: 1

    You'd have a better chance of hooking up on Gilligan's Island.

    --
    Harrison's Postulate - "For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism"
    1. Re:Remarkable odds by Moof123 · · Score: 1

      Rule 34.

  15. STEM College by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    Sounds like the ratio of men to women in STEM major colleges...

    1. Re:STEM College by ksheff · · Score: 3, Funny

      Sex Kills! Go to Tech and Live Forever! - actual bumper sticker sold by our college bookstore.

      --
      the good ground has been paved over by suicidal maniacs
  16. Re:All the data hasn't been released by dunkindave · · Score: 4, Interesting

    An article I saw said what wasn't released was mostly a database of pictures and messages exchanged through the site. It said there were two problems with releasing the pictures, the database is very large (compared to the text files that compress fairly well), and 40% of the pictures were dick shots and they didn't want to release those. They could still release the database of messages though. I think they are doing the same things as the Snowden leaks, release parts at a time to keep the interest alive, and slowly drive the spike through AM's heart.

  17. You insensitive clod! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Ashley prefers to be called "Bruce" now.

  18. Women Count Too Low by Beezlebub33 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    That doesn't sound right. I expect that the men completely outnumber the women, and that the 'women' are largely fake, but only 12,000?

    With all the advertising that AM has done, and with the huge number of women online (consider pinterest for heavens sake), and the huge number of women that have affairs, it seems unlikely to me that only 12,000 actual women signed up.

    --
    The more people I meet, the better I like my dog.
    1. Re: Women Count Too Low by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

      Agreed, my guess is they scrubbed a good chunk of the female users before releasing. They knew that stories involving women suffering negative consequences would turn the tide against them so they made sure to minimize the risk.

      Smart move but it again underscores that this data is extremely suspect.

    2. Re:Women Count Too Low by hawguy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      That doesn't sound right. I expect that the men completely outnumber the women, and that the 'women' are largely fake, but only 12,000?

      With all the advertising that AM has done, and with the huge number of women online (consider pinterest for heavens sake), and the huge number of women that have affairs, it seems unlikely to me that only 12,000 actual women signed up.

      Even if there are huge numbers of women interested in having affairs, that doesn't mean that they want to have random internet hookups from a cheating website. All online dating sites are the same -- the men far outnumber the women.

    3. Re: Women Count Too Low by kellymcdonald78 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      The data dump apparently contained ~5 million accounts marked as "female" with IP and email addresses. Strange that they would include that information, but scrub the fields indicating when said user had last checked their inbox

    4. Re:Women Count Too Low by Godai · · Score: 3, Insightful

      A fair point. Plus, one has to consider that if harming AM was their primary aim here, releasing the data is bad, but releasing a subset of the data that demonstrates that kind of male-to-female ratio is perhaps far worse (for AM). If the ratio was 10:1, they're providing a fair service and just not having much luck attracting women; look at all those scumbags who are trying to cheat on their wives! If the ratio is 8000:1 though, look at all those scumbags running the site who are cheating people out of money! If you wanted to put a nail in their coffin, this is a great way to do it -- out the men, embarrass them, give them call to sue AM. Then doubly embarrass them as chumps; surely that'll push a few fence-sitters over the edge.

      It does make me wonder. The only way we could verify this is if a bunch of women who had accounts looked themselves up, didn't find themselves, and then self-reported. So we may never know either way on this.

      --
      Wood Shavings!
      - Godai
    5. Re:Women Count Too Low by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      >All online dating sites are the same -- the men far outnumber the women.

      Heh, I bet that's the case even with dating sites that cater only to lesbians.

    6. Re:Women Count Too Low by Socguy · · Score: 1

      There may be a large number of women on the internet and a large number of women having affairs but is that because they actively sought them out, or because life happened?

      With all we know about gender roles and social history, outdated as it may be, how many women do you imagine are looking for a guy who's on a website devoted to cheating? Just imagine, if you will, all the women sitting around pining for the married guy who's actively into infidelity so they can hookup and later make a Pintrest page of their exploits... Seriously, in what world do you imagine that a woman would find these guys remotely attractive? Of those 12000 real accounts most of them were probably for the purpose of pre screening real life dates... one more douchebag check on who NOT to date.

    7. Re:Women Count Too Low by swillden · · Score: 1

      That doesn't sound right. I expect that the men completely outnumber the women, and that the 'women' are largely fake, but only 12,000?

      With all the advertising that AM has done, and with the huge number of women online (consider pinterest for heavens sake), and the huge number of women that have affairs, it seems unlikely to me that only 12,000 actual women signed up.

      I made the same point to my wife. She said she wasn't surprised.

      Her explanation is that although there are plenty of unhappy women interested in affairs, she thinks women are more cautious and, more importantly, far less likely to be looking for sex rather than a relationship. If you want to find a relationship instead of a hookup, web sites aren't as good as real-world meetups (bars or whatever), and sites specifically focused on affairs aren't as good as general dating sites. I know AM tried to sell itself as a classier place, not just for hookups, but "Life is short, have an affair"?

      --
      Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
    8. Re: Women Count Too Low by Socguy · · Score: 1

      What tide? Against who?

    9. Re:Women Count Too Low by meta-monkey · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Eh, one point of order.

      I do not condone infidelity, yadda yadda yadda, but purely as a practical matter if one is looking to cheat on their spouse and wants things kept discrete, a better choice of partner is someone else who is already married. They have more skin in the game and are more likely to keep things hush hush, because they don't want to be exposed, either. If things go poorly, you can be less afraid of someone threatening to tell your husband, when you can also tell their wife.

      That said, yeah, I'm not convinced a website would be the best method of finding such a partner.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    10. Re:Women Count Too Low by meta-monkey · · Score: 1

      I know AM tried to sell itself as a classier place, not just for hookups, but "Life is short, have an affair"?

      And with a close up picture of a woman's full red lips. Mostly advertised on porn sites, whose viewership skews male.

      They did not place ads with a picture of a hot dude on pintrest.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    11. Re:Women Count Too Low by amicusNYCL · · Score: 1

      With all the advertising that AM has done

      They weren't advertising to women...

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
    12. Re:Women Count Too Low by Bob+the+Super+Hamste · · Score: 1

      So you're saying I should set up a cheating site on pinterest then?

      --
      Time to offend someone
    13. Re: Women Count Too Low by onthemightofprinces · · Score: 1

      So they decided to scrub the data of females on the site because... reasons? Then they decided to leave in the data of men looking for other men in countries where homosexuality's actually punishable by death...?

    14. Re:Women Count Too Low by erapert · · Score: 1

      It's probably because AM advertised heavily on male-oriented porn websites.

    15. Re:Women Count Too Low by swillden · · Score: 1

      I know AM tried to sell itself as a classier place, not just for hookups, but "Life is short, have an affair"?

      And with a close up picture of a woman's full red lips. Mostly advertised on porn sites, whose viewership skews male.

      They did not place ads with a picture of a hot dude on pintrest.

      So, what you're saying is that while AM claimed to be marketing heavily to women, that claim was just part of their actual marketing to their actual target demographic: lonely, unhappy men.

      I could buy that.

      --
      Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
  19. Being Female by TheAngryCat · · Score: 1

    I find this whole Ashley Madison issue supports my belief that anybody who would cheat on their spouse / partner or whatever is a looser from the get go. Just goes to show there is a looser born every minute.

    1. Re:Being Female by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Just goes to show there is a looser born every minute.

      Found one!

    2. Re:Being Female by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Maybe if they were tighter instead of looser, they wouldn't get cheated on. They should try kegels or something.

    3. Re: Being Female by cyber-vandal · · Score: 1

      A looser what?

    4. Re:Being Female by serviscope_minor · · Score: 1

      What does "being female" have to do with that?

      --
      SJW n. One who posts facts.
    5. Re:Being Female by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      But they can probably still spell better than you can...

    6. Re:Being Female by TheAngryCat · · Score: 1

      I seriously doubt that, however I have already given this comment more consideration than it is worth. You sir have a wonderful day.

  20. AM could be a honeypot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I think it was an extortion honeypot, TBH. It's possible that the CEO has criminal connections, or ties to a government intelligence operation. Think about the leverage that could be applied to government officials, politicians, corporate managers, etc. with this information. For example, it's exactly the kind of info the CIA uses against foreign government officials in order to turn them into intelligence assets. And there's already reports of outed AM account holders being extorted to pay up to get their information removed or the blackmailers will forward the info directly to spouses, friends, family, and co-workers. The timing of the release kind of suspect as well. In addition, another site (Rentboy.com, I think) that potentially has damaging info on its account holders was recently raided by the FBI. What if that was a pre-emptive raid in order to keep its database from falling into the hands of hackers and released to the internet? This is Alex Jones territory, I know, but the stated reasons by the Impact Team for releasing the data just doesn't hold water for me.

    1. Re:AM could be a honeypot by dmomo · · Score: 2

      If I were a subject of such extortion, I would be less likely to give in to the demands if the data were public. I would know that paying off one extortionist wouldn't prevent the next one from knocking on my door. So, if the CEO of AM were really doing this for that purpose, wouldn't his pretend hackers keep at least most of the data proprietary?

    2. Re:AM could be a honeypot by edtice1559 · · Score: 1

      That seems a reasonable hypothesis except that the group didn't demand cash. They actually agreed to *not* release the data if AM would just go out of business quietly. Doing so may have been a better decision. Return any cash they had to the share holders and walk away.

    3. Re:AM could be a honeypot by Serge_Tomiko · · Score: 1

      I believe it is safe to say virtually all major internet sites that gather data are intelligence assets. Google was initially founded with enormous amounts of DoD grants, for example. Personally, I was always suspicious of google as it really just came out of nowhere. The results were better, true, but it was the speed of the site that just seemed bizarre. Alta Vista was the best in those days - a technology showcase of one of the largest server manufacturers in the world. How did some Jews from Stanford get enough loot to go up against DEC?

      Even something like Bitcoin, if you look into it, is rather comical. Bitcoin is entirely insecure, and has an entire transaction history publically available for the "coin". It was designed to be tracked, undoubtedly to control the black market.

      The internet has, at this stage, proven to be a curse. A real shame.

  21. I rather suspect most women on it... by Karmashock · · Score: 1

    ... were seeing if they could search for someone specific to catch someone.

    --
    I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
  22. And nobody is surprised ... by gstoddart · · Score: 1

    I'm sorry, but should we think these stats have changed from ye days or yore in chatrooms?

    The sweaty fat guy pretending to be a female?

    I'm sure if you had honest reporting, there's be a bunch of creepy stats ... how many people got rolled in a hotel room thinking they were gonna get some, how many people have had extortion attempts, how many people have fapped to dirty chats which was really a guy on the other end.

    It's the freakin' internet, isn't the fact that a good portion of the women, especially the ones looking for sex, are actually bored guys?

    I'm sure people actually were getting laid, and a woman looking for a man is probably going to succeed. But I bet a lot of guys didn't do anything but chat with other guys without realizing it.

    --
    Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  23. Sol all these poor sods now getting exposed... by gweihir · · Score: 1

    ... did not have any real change of getting anything out of it? That is tragic, and makes the actions of those that have hacked the site and then published the data even more evil.

    --
    Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    1. Re:Sol all these poor sods now getting exposed... by amicusNYCL · · Score: 1

      Hold on, out of all of the players in this thing the hackers are the real bad guys?

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
    2. Re:Sol all these poor sods now getting exposed... by gweihir · · Score: 1

      Your brain is defective: This means almost nobody did anything bad over the site. Thinking about having an affair while being married does not make you infidel, having one does. But now all the people in the data-dump are regarded as if they actually have had an affair via the site, when that is not true for almost all of them.

      --
      Most ACs are not even worth the keystrokes to insult them. Be generically insulted by this and ignored otherwise.
    3. Re:Sol all these poor sods now getting exposed... by amicusNYCL · · Score: 1

      That's an interesting concept of morality you have. You're saying it's "tragic" that the guys seeking affairs probably weren't able to have one because there were so few women, but also that those guys are innocent of any wrongdoing specifically because they couldn't find anyone to have an affair with. Not that they didn't try. For many of them, Ashley Madison was probably only one way to have an affair, I'm sure they also tried to find women in bars or other dating sites or whatever else. The presence of an Ashley Madison account means that, if they were married, then they were probably interested in having an affair, and if they were interested they probably also pursued other means to do that. Any many of them probably succeeded.

      So, based on your first post, where you said it makes the hackers "even more evil." If there were plenty of women on the site, you would say that the actions of the hackers are less evil? Your sense of morality is pretty fluid.

      --
      "Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
  24. Re:Really? NASCAR buddy you forgot by rraylion · · Score: 1

    Indianapolis Nascar staduim 250,000 people.

  25. Re:Really? NASCAR buddy you forgot by FreeUser · · Score: 1

    Indianapolis Nascar staduim 250,000 people.

    "Let's do it in the road", with apologies to the Beatles.

    --
    The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
  26. Re:You are forgetting something crucial by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

    So your saying men are sluts?

    Sexist!

    --
    John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
  27. As a member by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I have to disagree with the numbers.
    Unlike others, I insulated myself well, using prepaid Amex registered to a bogus name and address.

    As for the reasons, well there are a number, primarily the person I married is no longer the person I married. That aside, call me a coward if you want, but it is what it is.

    Now I did joy spend much, about $200. That equates to 400 credits, at 5 credits for initial contact (after which further communications are free). I never used the overpriced gifts and chat functions.

    That amounts to about 80 contact attempts. Response rate was about 15 actual females. That's not to say I jumped into bed with all of them, there does need to be a connection, so it's not always about just fucking. I was also very acutely aware of the fakes, one time curiousity profiles, and such. There are patterns you can see, and you avoid contacting new profiles for a while till you see them around a few times. I'm guessing the area you're in makes a difference too, major metro areas have the most fakes. Also way too many woman looking for a free ride, so basically prostitution.

    So yes, it is possible to connect with an actual female. If I had to guess, poor coding resulted in the fields the researcher used to generate the stats, where not actually being used reliably.

  28. At least a call girl is honest by MyAlternateID · · Score: 4, Insightful

    On a site like that - the only real women would be women that are either desperate or looking for other women.

    I had heard that most the women on AM were call girls. Now I doubt that, as I'd think there'd have been a lot more, but still, there's a third category for your list.

    They're women who know they're facilitating cheating and quite possibly destroying families - ever seen what divorce does to kids? Even the amicable divorces do a lot of damage, and divorces due to infidelity tend not to be amicable. A woman who understands she's doing that and is okay with that can't be trusted. These are the kinds of women who poke holes in condoms to get that child support money. If the cheating guy has any sort of standing in the community, like holding some sort of local office or operating any significant business, he can now be blackmailed - and that was before the data was breached. There's already been some suicides over this, in fact.

    A call girl would be an improvement.

    I'm no prude. I'm all for consenting adult people screwing around if that's what they want to do. When I was younger, I did my own share of that. But I didn't have to lie and cheat to do it, and neither do they. I was not married and I openly told the women I was seeing, up front, "hey I'm not looking for a commitment at this time, in fact I am going to see other people, if you want to do the same, be my guest". It was never an issue and they appreciated the honesty. But to marry someone and claim to make an exclusive commitment, and then abuse their trust like that, it's just plain fucked up. No "puritannical morality" is necessary to see how fucked up that really is. Ask anyone who's ever had it done to them.

    1. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Eunuchswear · · Score: 1

      So you didn't RTFA.

      They're not "women who know they're facilitating cheating and quite possibly destroying families".

      They don't exist!

      --
      Watch this Heartland Institute video
    2. Re:At least a call girl is honest by MyAlternateID · · Score: 1

      So you didn't RTFA.

      They're not "women who know they're facilitating cheating and quite possibly destroying families".

      They don't exist!

      The fucking article said there were few women, not that there were none. The parent poster further speculated that some of those few women might be call girls. Thus I made an observation concerning what sort of women those are.

      Nice try, but as it turns out, that reading comprehension thing is important.

    3. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

      They're women who know they're facilitating cheating and quite possibly destroying families

      I would argue that facilitating the behavior is not what destroyed the family; the family was breathing it's last before an AM profile was ever considered.

    4. Re:At least a call girl is honest by meta-monkey · · Score: 2

      Don't know about that. Some people have affairs because their marriage is dead. Spouse doesn't love them. Some people cheat on wonderful people who love them to death, because they're completely selfish assholes. I wonder how well one can predict from the AM data what percentage was what type, or what other types exist.

      --
      We don't have a state-run media we have a media-run state.
    5. Re:At least a call girl is honest by MyAlternateID · · Score: 4, Insightful

      They're women who know they're facilitating cheating and quite possibly destroying families

      I would argue that facilitating the behavior is not what destroyed the family; the family was breathing it's last before an AM profile was ever considered.

      I mostly agree with you. Problems like that don't just happen overnight. They usually have deep roots that took time to develop. Unresolved issue piles atop unresolved issue. What is so often identified as the cause of a problem is typically just its most noticable symptom.

      The thing is, marriages have problems all the time. Many of those times, these things can be worked out if both people want to work them out. Cheating, though is a special form of betrayal. A marriage that could have been saved will usually reach the point of no return once that kind of betrayal takes place. Even the Christian tradition, so often portrayed as rigid and Puritannical, recognizes infidelity as a (often, "the") legitimate reason for divorce.

      I've personally known someone who cheated on his wife, not just once, but again and again, booking various hotels to do the deed, etc. Amazingly, his wife forgave him, though it took a very long time before she began to trust him again. Their only child was already an adult by this time, so these were genuinely her feelings and not some kind of sacrifice she was making. That's not the norm. Usually, that's the gunshot to the head of a marriage that previously just had a minor flesh wound.

      Make no mistake, anyone knowingly helping to make this happen cannot claim innocence.

    6. Re:At least a call girl is honest by MyAlternateID · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Don't know about that. Some people have affairs because their marriage is dead. Spouse doesn't love them. Some people cheat on wonderful people who love them to death, because they're completely selfish assholes. I wonder how well one can predict from the AM data what percentage was what type, or what other types exist.

      Life is too short to remain in a failed marriage. I don't really understand why people do this. It only takes a small shred of honor to end a failed marriage, honestly and openly, and then go screw whoever you want. The lying and the cheating is, like you mention, indicative of a selfish asshole. But even selfish assholes, being selfish, try to look out for their own interests. What interest would they have in sticking around when they don't want to? If money is their concern, this is what prenuptial agreements are for.

    7. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Fwipp · · Score: 3, Insightful

      It's kinda screwed up how you're blaming the women for "facilitating cheating" and causing dudes to lose their community standing and commit suicide. As opposed to blaming the cheating men - you know, the ones with an actual obligation to their wife and kids.

      Like I hear what you're saying - it's not good to get involved and be "the other woman." But their fault is minuscule next to the cheater's.

    8. Re:At least a call girl is honest by MyAlternateID · · Score: 2

      It's kinda screwed up how you're blaming the women for "facilitating cheating" and causing dudes to lose their community standing and commit suicide. As opposed to blaming the cheating men - you know, the ones with an actual obligation to their wife and kids.

      Like I hear what you're saying - it's not good to get involved and be "the other woman." But their fault is minuscule next to the cheater's.

      Nothing I said is inconsistent with that. In fact if you read my comments you'd know that I didn't mention the standing of the men at all. Honestly, I thought that part was so very obvious that it didn't need to be reiterated, other than my mention of how unnecessary and dishonorable the lying and cheating is. In fact my exact words were: But to marry someone and claim to make an exclusive commitment, and then abuse their trust like that, it's just plain fucked up. No "puritannical morality" is necessary to see how fucked up that really is. Ask anyone who's ever had it done to them. Does that sound to you like I'm giving these men a pass? "Just plain fucked up" is fairly clear language, is it not?

    9. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Hypothetically, if my wife decides one day that she doesn't like oral sex anymore, am I supposed to go without it for the rest of my life? Or divorce her? That seems very fundamentalist. Oral sex with a prostitute would be ill-advised: that would be true betrayal, probably bringing STDs back home. Finding someone with whom I can get some on the side? The consequences are less serious for all involved.

      For an even clearer example, what if a guy's wife has some sort of serious accident and can't have sex anymore? Is divorcing her the right thing to do? Or should he be a martyr and never get laid? And if a man develops a condition that tanks his libido, should his wife leave him? That's always the right answer?

      When sexual dissatisfaction occurs, is self-sacrifice the answer? You're a sap. Is divorce always the answer, regardless of _love_, regardless of kids, regardless of whether your partner is dying of cancer? You're a monster.

    10. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      > these [problems] can be worked out if both people want to work them out.

      And if the problem is sex, and one party doesn't want to work it out? Is divorce always the answer? For newlyweds, it probably is. Cut your losses. But always?

    11. Re:At least a call girl is honest by mjm1231 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      This reminds me of the old joke:

      Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
      A: Because it's worth it!

      Of course, that means some people can't afford one.

      PS: Your ability to understand that people who are not you could have desires, motivations, or values that you do not share is astonishingly low, even for a Slashdot poster.

      --
      Ideology: A tool used primarily to avoid the bother of thinking.
    12. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      Because divorce is often more painful and expensive than remaining in a failed marriage? My ex cheated on me sporadically for about half of our miserable 16 year marriage (I lost count after affair #10). I finally threw in the towel, and went forward with it, but was financially wrecked because of it, nearly being foreclosed on and almost filing for bankruptcy. ($100k in debt, not counting the house I couldn't sell, and couldn't afford to live in) Eight years later, I'm remarried and mostly financially recovered, but I've paid over $140k in child support since then, and rarely get to see my teenage daughters these days. All they remember is that Daddy moved out, not that Mommy was an adulterous whore.

      Divorce sucks, and you can delude yourself for years that things will get better someday.

      - Necron69

    13. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Dixie_Flatline · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Let me tell you a true story of a guy I know.

      He and his wife had a child, and afterwards, she lost interest in sex. Her desire never came back, and that was it. He still loved her and she still loved him, but he wanted to have sex. So he did the 'right thing' and divorced her. Now, their story isn't so bad. He divorced her and it was amicable enough, he still visits almost every day (they live down the street from one another) but they live in different homes.

      My first advice to that guy would've been to have a consensual open relationship, but absent that possibility, I think that maybe having 'an affair' would've been a better solution than divorce. The result would've been nearly exactly the same (he doesn't even want a relationship with the women he sleeps with), but they wouldn't have had to live in different locations.

      Your view of infidelity and relationships isn't wrong, but it's somewhat incomplete. I can easily come up with a slightly worse case for this--they could've been living in the USA, for instance (they're in the UK). That would've meant that she would've lost any health coverage that he brought to the family through his employment. You can modify this scenario subtly in a lot of ways to make it worse, and sometimes the least bad option is going to be cheating on your partner so you can stay married and in the same house and sane so you can raise your kids properly.

      As someone that's consensually non-monogamous, this is all just abstract philosophy to me--I think there's too much emphasis put on sexual fidelity in the first place, and not enough on emotional support and availability. You can be monogamous with someone and still be a wholly shitty partner to them.

      So don't be too quick to judge the people that were paying for memberships on the site. Some portion of them are CPOS (cheating pieces of shit, in Savage Love parlance), but some of them are almost certainly people (and, according to the analysis, almost certainly men) that want to stay married but can't live in a sexless marriage anymore, or want to explore other parts of their sexuality that their partner can't provide. You don't know the story.

    14. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      I think there's more than only two types of marriage. Some people are emotionally connected but not sexually. Some actually like to share. Some have marriages of convenience so sexual restrictions are not part of the deal, and some are happily married but simply need sexual variety. I'm sure there's many others.
      Imposing your own traditional view of marriage based on some concept invented by primitive goat herders has shown time after time to result in disappointment.

    15. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      But even selfish assholes, being selfish, try to look out for their own interests.

      Everything you do is selfish. People steal because it makes them feel good. Others give money to charity because it makes them feel good. People like being married because it makes them feel good. Some of them fuck around because it makes them feel good. At no point is there any option which isn't self serving in some way.

    16. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Eunuchswear · · Score: 1

      The article comes to the conclusion that there are about 12,000 "real" women.

      For 31,000,000 men.

      Frankly, I think a ratio of 2583 men for one woman is a lot closer to no women than few women.

      But you like to get your moralistic whore-blaming thing in, so have a nice day.

      --
      Watch this Heartland Institute video
    17. Re:At least a call girl is honest by tehcyder · · Score: 1

      Affair(s) are a symptom, not the cause of your marriage's failure.

      --
      To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
    18. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Some_Llama · · Score: 1

      >

      But you like to get your moralistic whore-blaming thing in, so have a nice day.

      nice way to be blatantly hypocritical.

    19. Re:At least a call girl is honest by Some_Llama · · Score: 1

      1. good for you for doing the right thing and dealing with it in a mature way, i understand how bad this sucks and you took the high road.

      2. why post as AC but then sign the message? just curious. (i know you probably won't reply, just throwing this out there)

  29. Re:You are forgetting something crucial by nnull · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Sure they do. It's called facebook. More women use facebook than anything else. You're more likely to find a cheating partner on facebook than anywhere else without having to pay anything. And facebook would protect your damn privacy from your spouse more so than Ashley Madison ever would. So what's the point of Ashley Madison?

  30. Re:a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a th by captjc · · Score: 1

    Or... gurps_npc is a socialist idiot who doesn't know how humans are actually motivated.

    Well, what do you expect from a Non-Player Character in the General Universal Role Playing System? Sounds like little more than a personality-less stat-sheet to me.

    --
    Slow Down Cowboy! It's been 1 hour, 47 minutes since you last successfully posted a comment
  31. Re:a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a th by Nutria · · Score: 1

    Kind like those "women" on AM?

    --
    "I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
  32. 2500 men for every woman? by Snufu · · Score: 2

    Their tagline should have been: "Life's short, have a gay affair."

  33. Duh? by ExekielS · · Score: 1

    If you are a woman, you just go to any dive bar where you are unlikely to see anybody you know, maybe a town over to meet somebody, or do so discretely in other ways. Given that most women have an endless stream of men drooling after them, it is trivial for them to cheat, whereas for men it is very difficult and takes a lot of effort to find somebody. This is the expected results.

    --
    ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
    1. Re:Duh? by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      If you are a decent looking woman, you just go to any dive bar ...

      FTFY.
      Plenty of big ugly fatties out there not getting any...

    2. Re:Duh? by ExekielS · · Score: 1

      Maybe in your neck of the woods, but in the big city there is *always* a giant demand for hideous fat asses as well. Even the worst looking, unfashionable, stupid, fat women I knew couldn't go on public transit without getting 5 guys numbers.

      --
      ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
  34. These woman are working by Bruinwar · · Score: 1

    It's an "arrangement", these woman are not lonely housewives. The few they got signed up are pros.

    --
    SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT
  35. They ought to teach this in schools... by Richard+Kirk · · Score: 1

    The Ashley Madison scam is not really that different from selling bogus cures to baldness, snoring, erectile disfunction, or cancer, or promising Russian brides, or bogus kickstarter projects (you can usually sport these, but someone must think they are worth doing). The internet can reach people in such numbers that it is even worth posting 'you won't believe..' set of pictures (usually photoshopped) for the tiny advertising rewards. We can either say that this is natural way of things: that the cunning should rip off the dumb, or we can do something about it.

    In this particular case, Ashley Madison claimed to have a sex ratio of about 1:6, which might make it compatible with reputable dating agencies. However, it is not likely that there are millions of Smoking Hot Babes Just Waiting For You out there. If Ashley Madison once had one good-looking lady on the books, the AM sysadmin would have got her first. It is not only likely that the Ashley Madison scheme is just as reported, it is almost impossible that it could have been anything else. There might be a real site somewhere, but it is so much more efficient to be a scam.

    Ashley Madison is perhaps not a proper subject for schools. However, schools do try to encourage smaller children to be nice to each other, and cautious of strangers. It might be sensible to introduce them to the net alongside instructive examples of pictures that aren't real (Snopes tear-down of the sharks in the flooded mall picture), offers that are too good to be true (pyramid schemes), how to know the person you e-mail is a real person (meet Eliza), and so on. I think this would make most children more aware of what might be happening on the other side of the screen; and it might even discourage the few who might be tempted to run scams when they see how little the returns must be.

  36. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels scam by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    https://youtu.be/yrHEu-c2UFg?t=285

  37. Strange in that recent research shows F/M skew by WillAffleckUW · · Score: 1

    The bizarre thing is that recent sociological research shows that in fact there are many more college educated women than men, in some places (like NYC) it's up to 3:1 F:M.

    However, maybe the myth that they "want to cheat" might be what's at odds.

    I'll just be over here on Tinder where the real ratio matches the sociological research.

    --
    -- Tigger warning: This post may contain tiggers! --
  38. Re:a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a th by serviscope_minor · · Score: 1

    Likewise, Axe is a thief for selling boys on the idea that spraying themselves will make babes throw themselves at said stinky young men

    I assume the purpose is that Axe will dissolve the nose lining of any of its victims thereby rendering them unable to smell the remaining BO.

    Pantene is a thief for selling women on the idea that using their brand of shampoo will make them supermodels.

    I assume from this that you've never grown your hair long. Trust me, if you have long hair, and especially if it's not just dead straight, you need proper haircare products to keep sane. I thought I could wing it with cheap stuff, but that didn't work.

    --
    SJW n. One who posts facts.
  39. RE: by TheAngryCat · · Score: 1

    If you have to cheat on your partner and risk bringing some STD back home then perhaps divorce is in order or maybe time spent with someone in the mental health industry. Have a Great Day sir.

  40. Re:a realist would say Ashley Madison is just a th by Nutria · · Score: 1

    Don't assume.

    Anyway, cut your hair, and no more need for "proper hair care products to keep sane".

    --
    "I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
  41. Mane and Tail by drinkypoo · · Score: 1

    Not just for horses, Wilburrrrr

    --
    "You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
  42. There were some real women... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Posting anonymously for obvious reasons...

    In the city I live in (one of the top 10 for population in the US), there were real women on AM who would respond and meet in person. I met two of them for drinks. Of course, the reality of AM is that for me and the women I met it was just a form of marriage counseling where we needed someone to talk through some issues with. In both cases we talked openly about the challenges that arise at different points in marriages and how sex can suffer. We never talked fantasies and, despite obvious chemistry in one of the meetings, never thought of going further than casual conversation. Finding someone to talk to seemed to be what we were after.

    Of course, they may have gone on to do more with other men. But, the only reason they said they responded was because mine one of the only non-creepy messages they received. Apparently even married guys think dick pics and very forward sexual comments are the best way to get a woman's attention (tip: no).

    1. Re:There were some real women... by Jack+Griffin · · Score: 1

      I dabbled in Tinder for a while and made a killing based on this same strategy. Just not being a jerk seems to put you ahead of 99% of the pack...

  43. Re:Really? NASCAR buddy you forgot by LynnwoodRooster · · Score: 1

    "Why don't we do it in the road". If you're going to quote the Beatles, get it right!

    --
    Browsing at +1 - no ACs, I ignore their posts. So refreshing!
  44. So... That means... by morgauxo · · Score: 2

    So most of these guys whose lives are now ruined never even got any out of it in the first place? Or was that a very busy few women? Oh, man, and I already thought it was a stupid thing to sign up for!

  45. wow by WindBourne · · Score: 1

    There are some REAL sluts out there. 3 women to 7000+ men? WOOF.

    --
    I prefer the "u" in honour as it seems to be missing these days.
  46. What do you call a man with breasts? by Latent+Heat · · Score: 1

    . . . old! . . . (bah-doom boom!)

  47. Re: by StikyPad · · Score: 1

    If you shake someone's hand and risk bringing some respiratory disease back home then perhaps divorce is in order or maybe time spent with someone in the mental health industry. Have a Great Day ma'am.

  48. I find it doubtful by maroberts · · Score: 1

    That the ration was 2500 to one. Many people are saying to the BBC and others that they had little trouble meeting on the site.

    There probably was a big disparity for all the reasons stated, but I'd be surprised if the end result was greater than about 50:1

    --

    Donte Alistair Anderson Roberts - hi son!
    Karma: Chameleon

  49. Re:All the data hasn't been released by ewhac · · Score: 1

    ...40% of the pictures were dick shots and they didn't want to release those.

    I have a question for the guys out there who do this:

    When has this ever worked?

    How many guys have actually gotten dates as a direct result of posting explicit photos to their dating profile?

  50. Re:Really? NASCAR buddy you forgot by Tom · · Score: 1

    Since we are two orders of magnitude away from the goal, +50% really doesn't matter.

    Also, I agree with WP to not consider race tracks as "stadiums". And I rarely agree with WP.

    --
    Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
  51. Re:You are forgetting something crucial by myowntrueself · · Score: 1

    it's just reality that it's easier for women to get men than it is for men to get women.

    Its also a LOT easier for a gay man to get sex than a straight man.

    Thats why so many sex-addicted men become gay.

    --
    In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
  52. That does it by mnemotronic · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm deleting all 6 of my accounts. I simply cant abide dishonesty.

    --
    The Russians have won. They have made the world a cesspool of distrust, greed, fear and hate.
  53. Re:All the data hasn't been released by BitZtream · · Score: 1

    slowly drive the spike through AM's heart.

    Are you kidding? There are 1 girl for every 2200 guys or so, between that factoid and the media interest in this, I'd be a months pay they've gotten more subscribers in the last month than in the last year.

    This is doing nothing but good for them, all they need to do is put up a reminder about pre-paid CCs when signing up.
    2200:1 ratio is better than 0:1 ratio that most of these people actually have of meeting a girl that's willing to sleep with a married man.

    If they had a greater than 0 chance without Ashley Madison, they'd never have used AM in the first place.

    --
    Persistent Volume manager for Kubernetes - https://github.com/dwimsey/openshift-pvmanager
  54. Fraud. by Fragnet · · Score: 1

    I hope the people who created/run that site a prosecuted for fraud. And all of the others, like PlentyOfFish.

  55. Re:So what's with the maths in the summary???? by david_thornley · · Score: 1

    What was wrong with saying "For every 2250 men there was 1 woman"? Or even clearer: "There was 1 woman for every 2250 men"? WHY MAKE IT PER THREE WOMEN???????

    Clearly, that's how the researcher likes his sex. Personally, even when I was younger I don't think I could have managed more than a threesome.

    --
    "When you have eliminated the unacceptable, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truthiness" - Holmes
  56. OK I'm Ready: They Hacked Themselves by r-diddly · · Score: 1

    Theory: Ashley Madison (Avid Life) "hacked" i.e. leaked, their own data as a publicity stunt (since their site was pathetic). Occam's Razor - it explains a few things quite simply. It explains how they managed to hack in. (No hacking involved.) It explains why they're so confident as to offer a huge bounty for the hackers when it seems clear they're about to go broke. (No hackers will be found.) It explains their strange silence to their customers. (You know like the guy who kills his wife, but claims she's missing, but then the cops get phone records and find out he's the ONLY one amongst all her friends & relatives, who ISN'T blowing up her phone with "Where are you?" messages.)

  57. Regulation looms by seoras · · Score: 1

    You only have to look at the affiliate marketing commission being offered by these casual dating sites to see it's "men only"
    I had a look at this a few years ago but, as my website is 95% female audience, it made no sense to try it.
    So if they have no interest in paying for referrals of women where do the women come from?
    Digging deeper you'll find that most of the affiliate partners are the porn websites.
    The conclusion I came to was that the entire "casual dating" industry was just the monetisation of the online porn industry.
    The BBC did an expose on it a few years back.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1TNwC4ctNE

    I've wondered how long it'll be before this gets political and regulated.

    1. Re:Regulation looms by seoras · · Score: 1

      I meant to add..
      The majority of the porn and casual dating businesses are almost entirely run out of east Europe (Ukraine and Russia).
      The whole Ashley Madison thing looks like a rival take down.

  58. Re:All the data hasn't been released by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

    Before the internet we had to take Polaroids of our junk and leave them under cute girls windshield wipers.

    I didn't actually do this. But it happened.

    I will never understand why the girls didn't swap them like baseball cards.

    --
    John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
  59. Re:You are forgetting something crucial by HornWumpus · · Score: 1

    Your saying that there are men that love pussy so much, they change over? Seems unlikely.

    More likely gay men are just as slutty as straight men. If it wasn't for women keeping us down, we'd all be getting pussy at a local park.

    --
    John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
  60. Re:You are forgetting something crucial by myowntrueself · · Score: 1

    Your saying that there are men that love pussy so much, they change over? Seems unlikely.

    More likely gay men are just as slutty as straight men. If it wasn't for women keeping us down, we'd all be getting pussy at a local park.

    Its not that they love pussy, they love getting off. So they change over. Seems likely to me.

    --
    In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
  61. Re: by TheAngryCat · · Score: 1

    Maybe..... Maybe Not................