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Vostochny Launch Building Built To the Wrong Size
schwit1 writes: The Russians have just discovered that their Soyuz 2 rocket does not fit in the building just finished at their new spaceport at Vostochny: "The cutting-edge facility was meant be ready for launches of Soyuz-2 rockets in December, but an unidentified space agency told the TASS news agency late Thursday that the rocket would not fit inside the assembly building where its parts are stacked and tested before launch. The building 'has been designed for a different modification of the Soyuz rocket,' the source said, according to news website Medusa, which picked up the story from TASS." The rocket had just been delivered to Vostochny for assembly, so this report, though unconfirmed at this time, fits well with current events.
"Putin gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told."
Subject says it all.
Waranzo the wizard says soak the rocket in vineger overnight and it should squeeze through in the morning .
Everyone 3D prints their rockets now.
One group was using Putin's left arm length for Russia's official designation of the meter, while another group was using his right arm. Apparently he isn't perfectly symmetrical.
Better known as 318230.
Oh look, little tiny building
To pick a hammer and start to destroy the assembly facility for a bigger space.
... where all of the engineers have rounded up their buddies with trucks and backhoes and are trying to jam the rocket parts into place. "Come oooooon, it has to fiiiiit...."
I feel bad for whoever it is who will end up being declared a foreign agent embezzling money to support Ukrainian Nazis after this fiasco.
The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems.
It was designed for a different rocket . And they are trying to use a different version of the rocket. From the looks of it , they are trying to improvise . I mean seriously , they built the first operational space station !
But it will fit Chinese rockets well once Outer Manchuria will vote to join China in similar way as Crimea.
They would just build two more towers, each twice as big as the other.
Yup, perfect reference. Spinal Tap for those who don't know. Well played.
Maybe making the launch building out of pencils wasn't such a good idea!
"I cut it three times and it's STILL too short!" - Russian construction worker
Just cruising through this digital world at 33 1/3 rpm...
rocket launch tower !!
I wonder if it was something as embarrassing as an imperial/metric conversion gone wrong? :)
Barclay family motto:
Aut agere aut mori.
(Either action or death.)
I'm glad to see it's not just us Americans who manage to screw crap like this up. Rocket science is hard, especially when people keep changing the goals of the ground based efforts.
on my honeymoon
Measure twice cut once.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
I guess it doesn't translate into Russian very well.
Per Wikipedia, the Soyuz-FG has a height of 49.5m, and the Soyuz-2 has a height of 46.1m, with identical widths. Now, it's possible that the Soyuz-FG figure includes the payload while the Soyuz-2 figure does not, but it's also possible this article is wrong (either it's something specific sized that "rocket is too small" can be a problem, or it's complete bullshit).
I'm actually not sure who would be more likely to be wrong, given a choice between Wikipedia and a Russian news source. Both have a pretty good history of inaccuracy.
If you right-click on the VAB you can upgrade it to the next stage & build bigger rockets.
I see two gerunds and a verb.
"Wait. Something's happening. It's opening up! My God, it's full of apricots!"
Easy: they just need to download this mod and the problem is solved.
They built it in arshins, and not meters. (1 arshin = 71.72 cm)
"National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
Could be that Russia is doing a bit of CYA while they figure out technical difficulties with the rocket, so they just say "It doesn't fit" for now?
Can you imagine being in that engineers shoes when the penny drops?
That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that something went profoundly wrong and you are the first to figure it out.
And now you have to tell your boss.
About that rather prestigious building, belonging to that one beacon of light where you get (almost) everything right amid all that's not going right in your world?
And now you have to bring this news...
Ouch, poor person, I hope you're alright.
Sort of similar to that poor sod that first understood what happened to Mars Climate Orbiter I guess.
Ironically, US is the last developed country that uses imperial system. So US is the last colony.
Do you prefer furlongs or rods as a measure of distance? Imperial or US gallons as a measure of liquid volume?
Etc.
I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.
One might say, it's not a very Russian report then? Everyone knows you can't fit an upper case Event in an lowercase event. oh nvm
their engineer obviously got confused between inchjes and cm's again before we stole the plans,
I couldn't get my rocket in the package er building it was meant for.
Vasectomy Launch Building.
Its not your job to as confused as Vlad
Wow, comrade Putin sports 18 inches? That's the domain of stallions and of battleship artillery! One must wonder about the size of his balls too (cannonballs)? Even Chuck Norris must be shaking in his boots at such sight...
just like she said.....elbow grease and it'll fit!
A defense contractor welded a section of a British submarine upside down.
http://articles.latimes.com/1988-04-09/news/mn-814_1_nuclear-powered-submarines
This is what happens when quality assurance is cut short and when the lowly engineer pointing out the flaw gets fired rather than taken seriously. Just cut the roof off, some rain and snow, dust and dirt won't hurt.
minims, drams, and stones