Chubb To Offer UK 'Troll Insurance' Policy (thestack.com)
An anonymous reader writes: Insurance group Chubb will start offering the UK's first cyber-bullying policy – 'troll insurance' – through which it will accept claims of up to £50,000 to cover counselling and relocation costs, as well as time spent out of work. Chubb will provide its personal insurance policy customers the option to claim expenses ensued from online abuse. Cyberbullying is defined by the insurer as 'three or more acts by the same person or group to harass, threaten or intimidate a customer.' While the new insurance option is targeted towards parents concerned about their children's online activities, adults who are targeted by cyber abuse will also be able to make a claim.
I hope Chubb thought this out carefully because they will need to self insure...
Seven puppies were harmed during the making of this post.
Go on 4chan.
Tell them about your seven proxies and troll insurance.
?
Profit.
Anyone making claims through this will inevitably be referred to as Chubbies.
-=This sig has nothing to do with my comment. Move along now=-
Step one: Sign up.
Step two: Run for office.
I'd like to see how they propose to do that.
No it won't you FUCKING GODDAMN FAGGOT.
(you're welcome)
It sounds like a useful service. You want to move cities but can't afford it? Great, go online and post some stupid things, make a claim, and have them pay for you to move.
"Our two-party system is like a bowl of shit looking at itself in a mirror." - Lewis Black
Because I can't get enough of the insurance ads on commercial TV for insurance of anything they can think of.
Since pretty much everything in Australia is either designed to or actively trying to kill you, do they offer insurance for just being in Australia?
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for it to be pitted against a slightly greater evil
They need to offer death adder insurance, that's for sure. Those bastards got "death" right in their name.
You are welcome on my lawn.
For the low, low price of $1 US I will offer get the fuck over it insurance. If you're the victim of cyber bullying and harassment I will send you messages reminding you that it's just some dumbass social reject autistic piece of human garbage whose opinions and statements should have no weight against your self confidence. I'll also remind you that they do not represent society as a whole and you should honestly just disregard all the stupid bullshit they're saying.
Insurance is the biggest scam perpetrated against humanity since religion. It's nothing but a scare tactic to make one believe they need to throw their money away or something bad will happen.
On average, most people in the U.S. will lose, over their lifetime, at least $250K to insurance. That's money which will never be recovered or used for more worthwhile endeavors such as food, clothing or housing. It's gone. Forever. And you gained no benefit for it.
What a scam.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I want a troll insurance policy where the company sends out Moose and Rocko to "show the troll the error of his ways".
Try the darknet, I hear there are plenty of guys for hire on there that do 'wetwork'.
Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
This isn't going to last long. To pay for itself the premiums will have to be insane. With all the people claiming they've been hurt by "cyber bullying" these days, Chubb's going to go broke unless they discontinue this option very soon or charge so much that no one will buy it. Which will, of course, cause them to discontinue the option.
"Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional."
Depends on whether they consider it insurance fraud if you post on creationist and conspiracy theorist boards...
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
offer protection against lunatic SJW mobs that will try to ruin your life if you ever use incorrect speech?
Like, just close your eyes!
You are so sued! We are gonna sue your ass AND your balls!
“He’s not deformed, he’s just drunk!”
https://www.washingtonpost.com...
Fifty years of Yippie! 1968-2018
And in ENGLAND!
Some people don't believe in fairies. I don't believe in The Patriarchy.
"Moose and Rocko"?!? No, no, it's either "Moose and Squirrel" or "Bullwinkle and Rocky". You're welcome! -- Natasha and Boris
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
First claim's on me. Anyone who buys this insurance is a pathetic useless idiot.
Great idea.
Where's the part where you stop shithead fakers from making up bull just to get someone they don't like beat up?
Can someone link me to the source of this reference?
Change is certain; progress is not obligatory.
I suspect that in the UK at least, being killed by a "Death Adder" would be enough to get your insurance claim rejected on grounds of negligence.
"You knew it was called a *death* adder right? What outcome were you expecting by going near it?"
Some Slashdotters would rightly point out if you can't claim under reasonable circumstances then you shouldn't be sold the insurance (Death Adder insurance should cover encounters with Death Adders). Unfortunately, large institutions in the UK already have a track record of knowingly mis-selling you stuff they know won't cover you (Payment Protection Insurance for students and the unemployed... neither of these groups were covered under PPI but the banks still sold it).
I knew I needed to stop reading Slashdot and finish my PhD when I started to miss articles by Bennett Haselton.