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German Carpenter's Testicluar Valve Could Mean An On/Off Switch For Sperm
Press2ToContinue writes: A German carpenter has invented a valve which he claims will revolutionize contraception, by allowing a man to turn the flow of sperm from his testicles on and off at the flick of a switch. It (the switch, of course) is nearly an inch long and weighs less than a tenth of an ounce. It is surgically implanted on the vas deferens, the tube that carries sperm from the testicles, in a half-hour operation, and controlled by a switch beneath the skin of the scrotum.
So far Bimek is the only man who has the switches implanted, one for each testicle. I wonder what other switches we will see implanted into humans in the future? I think I'd like a valve for adrenaline control.
So far Bimek is the only man who has the switches implanted, one for each testicle. I wonder what other switches we will see implanted into humans in the future? I think I'd like a valve for adrenaline control.
>> A German carpenter has invented a valve that gets implanted in the most delicate part of your body via a surgical operation
Seems about right to me.
For women, it's more complicated.
If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
Control it from your iPhone and it posts the setting of the switch to your Facebook page. :)
Could call it the bitch-switch.
I remember a report about this (or, more likely, something similar) many years (20+) ago. The Brits on the team called it the Stop Cock.
The switch is countersunk and flush to the surface. Sanded smooth and polished with 000 steal wool. How else would a carpenter make one?
Can you get these installed in your kids? It would bring new meaning to Parental Controls.
If you post as Anonymous Coward, don't expect a reply.
Recall my doctor telling me there would be residual viable sperm around for sometime after I was snipped. Pretty sure you can't just go flippedy flip on the switchety switch and not make a baby with your baby.
I got a vasectomy a few years ago and I was told that there were about 20 'loads' in storage past the vas deferens. So this is not something you can switch on Friday afternoon and expect to be sterile over the weekend.
Just 'came' here to say this
http://www.acetonestudio.com
It's called marriage.
Those switches are software controlled, and these days they're bypassed pretty thoroughly by feminist society before she hits puberty.
I work at a chemical manufacturing site. Do you have any idea how many millions of pounds of material are lost each year do to a manual valve that was not fully shut.
I am sorry babby, I guess when I got hit in the groin last week playing basketball, it must have opened the valve!
Or,
I closed it, I guess it didn't close all of the way!
Yeah, not so sure this is a good idea!
Once the Human Brain-Machine Interface tech matures, we will be able to have just-like-the-real-thing sex with virtual women and zero risk of pregnancy, as much as we want without having to pay the women (or buy dinner for them) since they aren't real.
Of course...a surgery that distributes neuron-interfacing machines throughout the gray matter of the brain is even more invasive than this one....but the potential benefits go way beyond the crazy sex.
Your wife AND your mistress will love you for it!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
When the wife decided she was done, I manned up and Did The Right Thing(tm). I read a bit about what's involved in tying a woman's tubes and it's pretty much a no brainer. The risks to a woman are simply too high and it's a much more invasive procedure. Plus if my girlfriend gets preggers, it wasn't me.
More scared of switching it ON by accident!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
From a male's perspective....
1) Sex is expensive. Either you are paying a prostitute, which is expensive, or you are dating a woman, which is expensive, or you are married, which is the most expensive (especially when the divorce bill comes around and basically wipes you out).
2) Sex is time-consuming. Include the time invested in managing one's appearance, finances, etc., in order to acquire a partner, and then further time cost of maintaining that partner. This is slightly less of a problem for prostitution, provided you live in an area where it is readily available and legal (which most don't).
3) Sex is dangerous. It spreads disease. It makes you vulnerable to charges (false or otherwise) of rape, which can be life-destroying. It risks pregnancy which (if unwanted) can be life-destroying. Prostitution is illegal in most places.
4) Sex never satisfies. Or rather, the satisfaction never lasts. No matter how much you get, you still want more.
5) Sex is gross (your opinion may vary, but the more you learn about biology the more disgusting it becomes).
6) Sex is not necessary. To overcome the desire, just masturbate. To overcome loneliness, hang out with friends. Plenty of research demonstrates that friendship cures loneliness whereas romance does not (and in fact can make it worse). Google it.
One does not need any puritanical/religious beliefs to see that it is in one's selfish best-interest to avoid sex altogether. The stigma associated with being single is gone. You can more fully self-actualize if you can free yourself from slavery to this instinct which serves the species at your expense.
No, I am not a gross hairy nerd who can't get laid, so skip the ad hominem fallacies and focus replies on the actual content of the post, thanks.
"I think I'd like a valve for adrenaline control." (a) no you wouldn't, it would be like cutting off half the internal regulation system which allows your body to work efficiently in sync with current and anticipated demands - literally, mission-critical regulation - and (b) the *experience* of adrenaline / arousal is generated by a separate system which distributes adrenaline around the brain - the adrenaline in your bloodstream comes from the adrenal gland and activates the tissues of the body, but the adrenaline in your brain is generated by a cluster of neurons called the locus coeruleus, and they secrete it directly onto the neurons. No way to shut that off except using drugs which block receptors (i.e. beta-blockers and related compounds).
Wow, that just brings a whole new meaning to that sudden panicked thought "wait...did I leave the faucet running?!?"
"I love animals! Some are cute, others are tasty, what's not to like?" - Betsy Schroeder, Jeopardy contestant
Editors don't have a testiclue.
You should always choose a carpenter for working with wood.
I had 2 kids with my ex wife who then nagged me into getting a vasectomy.
It's very easy, easier than going to the dentist for a filling in fact.
However I then started getting pain in my nuts.
You see they tie off your vas and the sperm has no where to go - think of the car chase scene in the Blue's Brothers with all the cop cars piling up on top of each other. That's your epididymis swelling up with all the sperm piling up.
This German inventor's idea doesn't solve this problem however it does allow you to switch back on if you do get congestive epididymitis.
After I split with her I had it reversed.
2 hours on the table and a couple of big black grape fruits the next morning.
3 months for the bruising to fade.
I timed it to be when I was writing my thesis for my masters. Plenty of quiet, sitting down working time.
I've now got 5 kids and no.6 due in March. Pisses my ex off no end.
I still, occasionally, get congestive epididymitis.
Interesting fact. Vasectomy is illegal in France. Smart country. ;)
The only positive was it raised my Testosterone level to somewhere near where it was when I was 16.
Going back to University for a year, single, sterile and horny as a teenager made for a very memorable time in my life.
As a war veteran of vasectomy my advice is this.
Leave your nuts alone to do what they are supposed to do!