Slashdot Mirror
German Carpenter's Testicluar Valve Could Mean An On/Off Switch For Sperm
Press2ToContinue writes: A German carpenter has invented a valve which he claims will revolutionize contraception, by allowing a man to turn the flow of sperm from his testicles on and off at the flick of a switch. It (the switch, of course) is nearly an inch long and weighs less than a tenth of an ounce. It is surgically implanted on the vas deferens, the tube that carries sperm from the testicles, in a half-hour operation, and controlled by a switch beneath the skin of the scrotum.
So far Bimek is the only man who has the switches implanted, one for each testicle. I wonder what other switches we will see implanted into humans in the future? I think I'd like a valve for adrenaline control.
So far Bimek is the only man who has the switches implanted, one for each testicle. I wonder what other switches we will see implanted into humans in the future? I think I'd like a valve for adrenaline control.
>> A German carpenter has invented a valve that gets implanted in the most delicate part of your body via a surgical operation
Seems about right to me.
For women, it's more complicated.
If it weren't for deadlines, nothing would be late.
Control it from your iPhone and it posts the setting of the switch to your Facebook page. :)
I remember a report about this (or, more likely, something similar) many years (20+) ago. The Brits on the team called it the Stop Cock.
Recall my doctor telling me there would be residual viable sperm around for sometime after I was snipped. Pretty sure you can't just go flippedy flip on the switchety switch and not make a baby with your baby.
I got a vasectomy a few years ago and I was told that there were about 20 'loads' in storage past the vas deferens. So this is not something you can switch on Friday afternoon and expect to be sterile over the weekend.
I work at a chemical manufacturing site. Do you have any idea how many millions of pounds of material are lost each year do to a manual valve that was not fully shut.
I am sorry babby, I guess when I got hit in the groin last week playing basketball, it must have opened the valve!
Or,
I closed it, I guess it didn't close all of the way!
Yeah, not so sure this is a good idea!
Your wife AND your mistress will love you for it!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Contraband sheep.
Sex is not necessary. To overcome the desire, just masturbate.
If you think masturbating in any obviates the desire for sex, you've clearly had some pretty shitty sex in your time.
I first heard of something like this idea long before the Internet became popular. That old story also mentioned a problem, that when the vas is closed, it bursts. This is why when doctors do a vasectomy, they only tie ONE end of each cut tube (the end that leads toward the prostate, not the end connected to the testicle). This invention actually needs a Y-shaped valve, such that when it is closed, only the flow toward the prostate stops, while sperm can continue to flow out into the body cavity, as if one end of the vas had been cut but not tied.
Consider this: A single guy in his 40's who's never married is a bachelor, a playboy, a swinger, etc. while a woman in her 40's who's never married is...a spinster. What else? Cat lady? Cougar? MILF? None of these terms have very positive overtones, and some are downright insulting.
I see some really selective stereotyping here. What about the "40-year-old virgin" guy? They made a movie about that 5 or 10 years ago. That guy definitely isn't considered a "playboy".
And how is a MILF considered "insulting"? That sounds like a compliment to me; usually older women are (were) seen as past their prime, not really someone a younger guy would want sex with. A MILF or cougar is. It's a compliment to women who aged well.
As for spinsters, I think part of the problem there might be the social circles that women are in. Who's actually calling you (or any women you know like this) a "spinster" or similar? This sounds like a problem largely of these women's own making, by voluntarily being in social circles that have these attitudes. The guy who's a 40yo virgin and hangs out with his nerdy friends doesn't have this problem because all his buddies are in the same boat; they might get shit from their parents but that's about it, and usually 40yos don't live with their parents any more. Remember also, women tend to be much more social than men, and are conditioned that way from early childhood. So older single men seem to frequently end up just living alone and being alone much of the time; they're not around anyone who's going to make up derogatory names for them and their singleness.
Also, you're absolutely wrong about a single 40yo guy being called a "swinger". A "swinger" is a married person who, together with their spouse, engages in extramarital sex. You've never heard of "swingers parties"?
But basically, you seem to be looking at George Clooney and assuming he's representative of all 40+ single men, which honestly is rather insulting because most men aren't blessed with his looks or charisma. Most 40+ men who are single are that way either because they're like the 40yo virgin guy (but not remotely as attractive as Steve Carrell; that's Hollywood for you), nerdy and/or unattractive and uninteresting to women, not because they've actively avoided marriage.
I had 2 kids with my ex wife who then nagged me into getting a vasectomy.
It's very easy, easier than going to the dentist for a filling in fact.
However I then started getting pain in my nuts.
You see they tie off your vas and the sperm has no where to go - think of the car chase scene in the Blue's Brothers with all the cop cars piling up on top of each other. That's your epididymis swelling up with all the sperm piling up.
This German inventor's idea doesn't solve this problem however it does allow you to switch back on if you do get congestive epididymitis.
After I split with her I had it reversed.
2 hours on the table and a couple of big black grape fruits the next morning.
3 months for the bruising to fade.
I timed it to be when I was writing my thesis for my masters. Plenty of quiet, sitting down working time.
I've now got 5 kids and no.6 due in March. Pisses my ex off no end.
I still, occasionally, get congestive epididymitis.
Interesting fact. Vasectomy is illegal in France. Smart country. ;)
The only positive was it raised my Testosterone level to somewhere near where it was when I was 16.
Going back to University for a year, single, sterile and horny as a teenager made for a very memorable time in my life.
As a war veteran of vasectomy my advice is this.
Leave your nuts alone to do what they are supposed to do!
Most vasectomy techniques involve tying (ligating) or fulgurating (burning) both ends. The vas doesn't seem to burst, but there is a complication called "sperm granuloma" where leaking sperm (often happens) can cause inflammation (also often happens) which can cause pain (doesn't happen that often) and in rare circumstances recanalization of the vas.
Granted, it's been a while since I performed a vasectomy but I was trained to ligate and cauterize/fulgurate both ends. Surgical implantation of this switch sounds tricky: the vas is a slippery little thing, the canal narrow, and the human body doesn't always take kindly to the implantation of foreign material.
FWIW, most of the volume of ejaculate isn't sperm, but prostatic fluid. Vasectomized guys are shooting blanks, but it's not easy to distinguish between the blanks and live ammo without a microscope. Check out the grin on this urologist as he explains the same.
it's been a while since I performed a vasectomy
I hope to God that You Are A Doctor.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it