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Feds: Brink's Employee Makes Off With $196,000 In Quarters (cnn.com)

Posted by BeauHD on from the that's-one-big-piggy-bank dept.

dfsmith writes: CNN is reporting today on the prosecution of a man who stole $196,000 worth of quarters from his employer in Alabama. Apparently the Brinks facility kept large bags of the coins for the Federal Reserve (about 1 ton each), which the accused emptied and refilled with beads (leaving some coins visible in the bag's window). Dennis faces a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. That's a million-quarter fine, or 216,000 more quarters than Dennis stole.
Notwithstanding the enterprise of purchasing and transporting that many beads, you've got to wonder: how would you go about this heist, and what would you do with the proceeds?

21 of 142 comments (clear)

  1. Parking by Early+Six+Digit+UID · · Score: 4, Funny

    I could park... FOREVER

    1. Re:Parking by davester666 · · Score: 3, Funny

      He probably had to do laundry. Have you seen how many quarter's those machines take?

      --
      Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
  2. Brilliant! by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

    As recent college students know, laundromats almost always accept quarters as a mechanism for buying machine time, so laundering the proceeds must have been particularly easy and convenient. This guy is obviously a cerebral master of crime.

    1. Re: Brilliant! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey, don't be so hard on the guy... he was only a two bit criminal looking for some change to believe in!

  3. Makes off, my arse by rmdingler · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The bags were stored on skids in the doubtless aptly named Coin Room. An April 2014 audit of the coin inventory showed that four of the bags had been filled mostly with beads. Those bags each contained only $1,000 in quarters, which had been strategically situated so the coins were visible through a plastic window in the necks of the bags, according to federal authorities.

    Diabolically clever scheme unravels under the slightest scrutiny.

    --
    Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

    Ernest Hemingway

    1. Re:Makes off, my arse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      If this was a large company (like, say, Verizon) stealing from its customers, the fine would have been a fraction of the money stolen, and no jail time for anyone (except maybe the customer who discovered the theft, under anti-hacking laws).

    2. Re:Makes off, my arse by Kjella · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Well yes obviously someone would figure out sooner or later, but he was probably counting on them not finding out who and when. Or he was in some kind of money problem (gambling, drugs, whatever) and just did the kind of incredibly stupid crime you sometimes see which keeps their world from collapsing today. The same kind of "can't think about that" like the people who throw bills in the trash or keep sending money to Nigeria.

      A lot of people are simply dysfunctional that way, like they have a fear of the dentist. And they know the longer it's been since they was at the dentist, the more likely he'll find something really bad. So the problem just escalates until it becomes a huge crisis. You see that a lot with "dumb" embezzlement, now you not only got a gambling problem but for a few months delay you're now also an unemployed, convicted felon.

      Rationally it doesn't make sense, how much worse it's going to be compared to the relatively short and small gain you got. But I guess it's something of a survival trait, if life's fucked up you care about living one more day. And then another one, and then the one after that. Sometimes not having perspective is good for motivation, because there's nothing in your prospects to be cheerful about. You just carry on anyway.

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    3. Re:Makes off, my arse by houghi · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Although gambling can be a reason, more likely it is just being very bad with money. The kind of bad where people buy a new iPhone and a new TV and new handbags and the newest sneakers and then say they do not have enough money for food.

      Many people never learn how to count money. People do not even understand what a credit is. These are people who think that a credit of 2000 is their money they must use.

      In school (in Belgium) I learned how to trasfer money. I learned how a bank account is made up and how the control number worked. I never learned what a credit or a loan was. I never learned how to do a busget.

      I am lucky that I learned that at home. Not all parents know it themselves and thus are unable to explain it to their kids.
      Basic budgetting skils should be learned in schools.
      This would still mean some people would not understand it, but way less than what is happening now.

      You will be amazed at how many people do not even know the difference between a loan and a credit, yet they are maxing out their credit cards like nobodies business. One trip and you are fucked.

      Issue is, where would you go to when you have financial problem? Most go to a bank. And then get fucked over AGAIN, because the bank does not work for them, they work for the bank.

      --
      Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
  4. What would I do? by TWX · · Score: 3

    Well, what I would have done would have been to go to Las Vegas and spend it in the slot machines, but the first time I went to Vegas as an adult I found to my disappointment that the slot machines no longer had slots anymore, and they made the same coin-falling-into-cup sound whether or not the player won.

    Not that anyone cares, but that basically was the straw that broke the camel's back for going to Las Vegas without any real reason.

    --
    Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
  5. Well... by tnk1 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Strictly speaking, he'd have no trouble laundering the money. They don't have serial numbers and its not like they'd have a dye pack in there.

    The problem is that he'd be limited to buying fast food with his earnings for the next 50 years because I don't know how much effort you'd need to actually turn that much money into a more portable form. I don't think there are enough Coin Star machines between there and the West Coast to do it.

    You can tell that this guy had like 1/10th of a really good idea knocking around in his otherwise empty skull and failed to realize that it wasn't nearly enough to make this even remotely feasible. Of course, that's why there are few true criminal masterminds out there. It's easier for someone that smart to actually make money with a real job.

    1. Re:Well... by vux984 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The problem is that he'd be limited to buying fast food with his earnings for the next 50 years because I don't know how much effort you'd need to actually turn that much money into a more portable form.

      The classical way would be work through a coinop car wash or laundromat partner and then launder it through them by inflating the sales over a few years.

    2. Re: Well... by Type44Q · · Score: 3, Funny

      . Of course, that's why there are few true criminal masterminds out there.

      And how, pray tell, were you able to determine that? ;)

    3. Re:Well... by rwyoder · · Score: 4, Funny

      The classical way would be work through a coinop car wash or laundromat partner and then launder it through them by inflating the sales over a few years.

      I knew a married couple who were doing that. Walt & Skyler were really nice people!

  6. Re:What would you do? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Robber: "I'd like to convert these into pounds."
    Teller: "Sure thing! What have you got?"
    Robber: "196k in quarters"
    Teller: "OK, well, one quarter is 5.67 grams, so....9800 pounds"

  7. Get Medieval by bosef1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Should this ruffian be apprehended, I believe the correct punishment, as warning and deterrent to others, is that he be drawn... and quartered.

    1. Re:Get Medieval by UnknownSoldier · · Score: 4, Funny

      You had to chime in with your two bits didn't you? :-)

    2. Re:Get Medieval by rsilvergun · · Score: 3, Funny

      I can't make heads or tails of these posts.

      --
      Hi! I make Firefox Plug-ins. Check 'em out @ https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/youtube-mp3-podcaster/
  8. Re:Slot machines by TapeCutter · · Score: 5, Informative

    Casinos are used to launder money all the time, you put dirty money on the table and get back 70-80% of the face value back in clean money.

    --
    And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
  9. Re:Brink's ?? it belongs to someone named Brink? by Tim+the+Gecko · · Score: 3, Informative

    Seems like there is an apostrophe in their name (but not in their logo) - http://www.brinks.com/en/

  10. The guy who made casino slugs by swb · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Casinos all seem to use electronic tokens now with barcoded chits that print out when you cash out.

    There's a History or Discovery channel documentary about a guy who made slugs for casinos during the brief era between coins and electronic tokens. The guy was a retired toolmaker with a little extra money and he bought some equipment capable of making a detailed copy of casino tokens, created a die for stamping them and churned out several.

    The first batch didn't work because the machines rejected its magnetic signature. He demilled the design off an actual token and had a metallurgical analysis done and found a commercial alloy used for flatware that was a close match. Those tokens worked.

    He would go into a casino, buy a small amount of tokens and then play with a mix of his counterfeits and real tokens. I don't recall if he mostly made money from winnings payouts or by cashing in his fake tokens. He ultimately got caught, I think by visiting the same casino too often, but his copies were nearly indistinguishable from the originals -- I think they actually had to do a metallurgical analysis to determine which were fakes.

  11. So wait by wardrich86 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    When an average guy steals money, he gets fined more than what he stole AND jail time... but when a corporation steals money, they get fined a fraction of what they stole and a slap on the wrist? America - what an amazing country.