Facebook Launches 'Agents On Messenger' Platform With Chatbots (techcrunch.com)

Josh Constine, reporting for TechCrunch: Facebook will now allow businesses to deliver automated customer support, ecommerce guidance, content, and interactive experience through "Bots on Messenger", Facebook's term for chatbots. By providing utility through its huge developer and business ecosystem, Facebook could boost loyalty with Messenger, one-up SMS, and keep up chat competitors like Kik, Line and Telegram that have their own bot platforms. Beyond just text, chatbots will be able to respond with structured messages that include images, links, and call to action buttons. These could let users make a restaurant reservation, review an ecommerce order, and more. Facebook is not the only company -- let alone the first -- which has a bot store. Messaging apps Telegram and Kik offer similar functionalities. Popular communication service Slack has also been ramping up its efforts around bots and figuring out different ways to enhance its customers' experience. Two weeks ago, Microsoft also announced a bot platform.

Comments

Chatbots?

[110010001000]

What is this? 1998? Chatbots. GTFOH.

Re:Chatbots?

[ganjadude]

everyday facebook becomes more an more like AOL circa 95-99

own web browser? check

walled garden? check

now chatbots????

Re:What if a commercial bot has a penis panic?

[quonsar]

What would happen if one of these commercial bots has a spontaneous, uncontrollable penis panic while chatting with a customer?

What if the customer asks a legitimate question, and the bot goes haywire and repeatedly replies with:

MY PENIS IS SHRINKING! MY PENIS IS SHRINKING! MY PENIS IS SHRINKING! MY PENIS IS SHRINKING! MY PENIS IS SHRINKING! MY PENIS IS SHRINKING!

The customer would not be pleased, I can assure you, if one of these business bots goes crazy like that!

My anus is bleeding.
My ANUS is BLEEDING.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!

I live in a giant bucket...

What the...?!

[PCM2]

OK I officially don't get it. OLD MAN CHECKING IN HERE!!

Is anybody actually interested in interacting with machines via chatbots? Seriously.

The Japanese, they are geniuses. In Tokyo, every three square feet that doesn't have anything in it, they put a vending machine. Pepsi, water, coffee hot or cold, sandwiches, anything you want, you can get from a vending machine. Push a few buttons and it's yours. Don't worry about going to a store and talking to someone. And now here, we have the fuckin brilliant idea that we want machines to talk like people so you have to waste your time talking to them instead of just pushing the button.

What. The. FUCK?

It reminds me of the whole virtual reality/cyberspace craze back in the 90s. Everybody was so excited about the idea that you would be flying through space modeled with 3D graphics to get to whatever you needed on the internet ... when we ALREADY HAD everything on the internet right at our fingertips and we didn't have to waste our time "going" anywhere ... when eliminating distance and scarcity was the WHOLE POINT of the internet.

Who are these people and where do they come up with their dumb fuckin ideas?

Re:What the...?!

[Captain Splendid]

I think your observations re: Japan hit the nail on the head. American culture just hasn't progressed long enough for the populace to internalize the lesson that Hell is other people.

Of course, business doesn't want to pony up for expensive and troublesome flesh and blood, so we get the horrible mutation of fake people which nobody really wants.

Re:What the...?!

[swb]

Is it something you're entitled to, need or that will cost someone else time and/or money? Then CHATBOTS ARE FOR YOU!

You thought interactive voice prompting was slow and frustrating? Wait until you get a load of chatbots. No way to "zero" out to an operator or some other menu. You're stuck with "Saro" our virtual assistant. And since chats have persistence, you can't just call back and start over. Our bots will remember the EXACT place in existential hell you were stuck before so we can quickly and easily return you to this void of non-service.

Is it something you want or are willing to purchase? THEN REAL LIFE HUMANS ARE FOR YOU!

We have a complete lineup of pushy, ignorant sales people fully motivated to ignore your requests, wiling and able to sell you what they think you should have. Don't worry, they won't waste your time checking stock to see if what you want is in -- when they eventually sell you sort of what you want instead of what they want you to buy, it will conveniently be back-ordered, with a fulfillment date from the manufacturer that's completely unreliable and appears to correspond to an ancient, time-traveling culture from a binary star system. But don't worry, when it finally does ship, we will make sure to use the most unreliable shipping service possible, fully capable of delivering it directly to that address you lived at 8 years ago, two states away.

Re: What the...?!

[PCM2]

Dedicated chat bots are stupid, but if you can tell a bot to do X, and it does X, it is programming through natural language, that is pretty neat.

I guess I have yet to see a concrete example of what all these bot freaks are talking about.

When I can say into thin air, "Make me a sandwich" and a machine will produce whichever sandwich I usually eat on Tuesdays, I suppose that would be pretty impressive. Somehow I don't get the impression that's what this hype is about, though.

Re:What the...?!

[lucm]

On the other hand, there are products that people want, but either want immediately or are moderately ashamed of buying. For those purchases, vending machines offer the anonymity and speed to meet both motives.

It's like buying weird sex toys or small condoms. Do you prefer doing it in person, paying cash but having to face a person, or order online and attach that purchase to your credit card statement.

Small words

[s.petry]

The big words like "auto-responder" are out of favor today. Small buzzy words are where the big money comes from! When you go on vacation, make sure you use your afkbot in your email.

Re:Glad they're letting us know

[Ralph Wiggam]

In an average day, how many times do you mention that you don't have a Facebook account?