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UK Plans To Censor Online Videos Of 'Non-Conventional' Sex Acts (betanews.com)

Mark Wilson, writing for BetaNews: The UK government's relationship with the web is something of a checkered one. Keen to pander to the fear of concerned hand-wringers, we've seen torrent sites blocked and there are plans afoot to censor porn sites that do not implement 'effective' age checks. Now there is a chance that UK web users will be denied access to websites that portray "non-conventional sexual acts" in the latest act of censorship by the government. A bill currently being considered would apply the same restrictions to online pornography that currently apply offline. In what appears to be yet another example of the government failing to understand quite how the internet works -- and trying to bend offline laws to apply to online situations -- the plan is to block websites that display content that would not normally receive a classification if released on DVD.

22 of 135 comments (clear)

  1. Fist post by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fist post

  2. Define "non-conventional" by NoNonAlphaCharsHere · · Score: 5, Funny

    A young girl marries an older Greek sailor. On her wedding day, her mother warns her, "These Greek sailors can be pretty strange, if he suggests anything out-of-the-ordinary in the bedroom, you tell him No Way!". Sure enough, after about a month of marriage, one night, he suggests something different, and like a good girl, she shuts him down. He says "But darling, don't you want to have children?".

    1. Re: Define "non-conventional" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      After announcing he was getting married, a boy tells his pal he will be wearing the kilt.

      "And what's the tartan?" asks his mate.

      "Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress," he replies

    2. Re:Define "non-conventional" by bugs2squash · · Score: 2

      It's hard to imagine something for which there is no precedent going back 100s of years, unless we're talking sex with cloned sheep, sex with GMO crops or sex with iphones. Maybe that's why apple keep trying to remove the connectors.

      --
      Nullius in verba
    3. Re:Define "non-conventional" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      An Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman are sitting next to each other at a bar. Then, by an amazing coincidence, three flies land in their drinks, one each.

      The Englishman discretely spoons the fly out of his drink.
      The Irishman flicks the fly from his drink directly at the Englishman.
      The Scotsman grabs the fly from his drink and says "all right you wee bastard, spit it out! Now!"

    4. Re:Define "non-conventional" by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2

      I'm afraid my Scottish friends won't understand the jokes unless there are a lot more curse words.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    5. Re:Define "non-conventional" by sheramil · · Score: 2

      How would I know whether I have ever engaged in a 'non-conventional' act?

      They'd tell you, after you'd been arrested.

      What is the state's interest in doing this? Are people watching these videos out in the streets, or on the subway or something?

      They have to be seen to be doing something useful, otherwise people start to wonder why these wonks are getting paid so much to sit around watching us watch porn. A vaguely described quality like "non-conventional" allows them to define pretty much anything as "non-conventional", so it becomes a handy excuse to pinch anyone they want to. You can guarantee that nobody from the upper classes is going to be charged for watching spanking videos (despite this being the definition of Conventional British Porn for over two hundred years), and of course they will not provide detailed descriptions of what they consider to be "non-conventional", with exact guidelines for any border conditions. "Women sitting on cakes shall be deemed to be non-conventional only when the cake is more than two-tiered, for example three- or four-tiered wedding cakes, and where the icing or cream coating is more than four inches thick."

      i'm hoping this is another trumpeting - the loud noise made by nervous politicians who sense that their constituents are about to turn on them. as soon as they've made their loud noise and the jackals of the media seem to be appeased, they lapse back into their semi-comatose state.

    6. Re:Define "non-conventional" by Opportunist · · Score: 2

      You have Scottish for Thanksgiving? Most people just have a Turkey.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
    7. Re:Define "non-conventional" by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2

      You have Scottish for Thanksgiving? Most people just have a Turkey.

      Well, they won't let us have Indians any more. The SJWs ruined that for everyone.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
    8. Re:Define "non-conventional" by lucien86 · · Score: 2

      An Indian appeared but he worked for Microsoft technical support.

      --
      Below the speed of light Special Relativity is one of the most accurate theories in physics - above the speed of light..
  3. Re:You know, just saying they can't bend the inter by 110010001000 · · Score: 2

    Exactly. It is very foolish to say the "government doesn't know the Internet". They know. They aren't stupid. And yes, you can censor the Internet and also stop piracy which is another thing that Slashbots claim you "can't do". It just depends on how much effort they want to put into it.

  4. Would that include the "David Cameron?" by MAXOMENOS · · Score: 3, Interesting

    That is to say, would "non-conventional sex acts" include intercourse with a pig, as allegedly committed by the former and disgraced Prime Minister?

    1. Re:Would that include the "David Cameron?" by PopeRatzo · · Score: 2

      That is to say, would "non-conventional sex acts" include intercourse with a pig, as allegedly committed by the former and disgraced Prime Minister?

      For what it's worth, the pig was hot as hell.

      --
      You are welcome on my lawn.
  5. Re:You know, just saying they can't bend the inter by arth1 · · Score: 2

    Exactly. It is very foolish to say the "government doesn't know the Internet". They know. They aren't stupid.

    The government (any government) consists of a mix of people, some of who are reasonably smart, and some who really are quite stupid. Sometimes the stupid ones have enough clout to screw it up for those in the government who understand things better. While a country might be a democracy, the governments themselves seldom are.

    The House of Lords is a good example. Many of the people there aren't there because of merits. And the House of Commons - well, who gets appointed to which committee isn't all about picking the smartest people for the job.

  6. Whu by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Why is this a bad thing? It would be better if they banned porn entirely just like the alliance of feminists and religious organizations from Christians to Muslims want it.
    It objectifies women which is bad, it feeds into rape culture which is bad, it is immoral and unethical for the aforementioned reasons and since it is immoral and unethical then that means it is bad even by religious standards.
    Well, the opinions of conservatives is irrelevant, the most important opinion is the feminist one even if it's the same thing and that's why porn needs to be banned.
    If not banned, at the very least all porn should be gay porn and straight cis binary porn should be banned.

  7. Re:You know, just saying they can't bend the inter by 110010001000 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Really? Try accessing the Internet in China you dumb fuck. You don't even know what real censorship is.

  8. Re: You know, just saying they can't bend the inte by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    While I agree with you and government trying to control, this has nothing to do with Trump or Brexit. Liberals are breaking new records in fascism these days, both sides are nothing but a comedy show.
    Trump was the only choice to eliminate Hillary ( who much like Trump is hated by millions) and many British don't want to bow down to foreign control. People have different reasons and you can't be so American about picking a team and blindly agreeing with everything they do.

  9. Re:Gay porn by DickBreath · · Score: 2

    Do the people who want to censor 'unconventional' acts have any idea what gay people actually do? Are there are any gay people here who could enlighten us?

    If they don't like the videos, why don't they just not watch them. Self censor.

    --

    I'll see your senator, and I'll raise you two judges.
  10. Re:fucking prudes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Also if you voted brexit, you gave these clowns a ton more power. Way to go.

    Surely 'hard brexit' will be classified as a 'Non-Conventional' sex act due to the number of us getting screwed a the same time.

  11. Re: You know, just saying they can't bend the inte by Jesus+H+Rolle · · Score: 2
    [...] cloning audio cassettes [...]

    Are they trying to censor aural sex now?

  12. Here's the solution: Don't look. by Opportunist · · Score: 2

    Seriously. What exactly is the problem? We're not talking about videos where a party is forced to participate, that's a different matter, we're talking about acts where everyone involved is happy to participate and get recorded. So what exactly is your problem with it? That you consider it "unnatural"? That it makes you sick to the stomach? Here's a novel idea that should solve your problems:

    Don't watch the video.

    It makes me sick to the stomach to think that such backwards idiots are breeding, but that doesn't mean I start demanding that you stop pumping out units every nine months. Maybe I should. That, unlike your demand, would indeed make the world a better place.

    How exactly does that video affect you in any way whatsoever?

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  13. Re: You know, just saying they can't bend the inte by stealth_finger · · Score: 2

    The government won't accept a referendum and if you take it to the streets,

    The UK gov will. Doesn't even have to be legally binding, as long as it's the result they want they will grab a 51% majority and run with it calling it 'the will of the people'

    --
    Wanna buy a shirt?
    https://www.redbubble.com/people/stealthfinger/shop?asc=u