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1.6 Billion-Year-Old Plant Fossil Found In India (phys.org)
Complex multicellular life began 400 million years earlier than we thought, according to a Phys.org article shared by Slashdot reader William Robinson:
Scientists found two kinds of fossils resembling red algae in uniquely well-preserved sedimentary rocks at Chitrakoot in central India. One type is thread-like, the other one consists of fleshy colonies. The scientists were able to see distinct inner cell structures and so-called cell fountains, the bundles of packed and splaying filaments that form the body of the fleshy forms and are characteristic of red algae... The oldest known red algae before the present discovery are 1.2 billion years old. The Indian fossils, 400 million years older and by far the oldest plant-like fossils ever found, suggest that the early branches of the tree of life need to be recalibrated.
Everyone knows the world is only 6,000 years old, folks. This fossil is a conspiracy by the Chinese, believe me.
When contacted the fossils said, through a translator, " Our son got a job in America and emigrated, and our daughter got married and moved to London. When our grandkids were small we used to visit USA because baby-sitters cost more than round trip flight tickets from India. After the grand kids grew up and the medical insurance became too expensive, we stopped visiting. We were left behind in India".
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact