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NASA Is Looking For Someone To Protect Earth From Aliens -- And the Job Pays a Six-Figure Salary (cnbc.com)
An anonymous reader shares a report: Ever fancied yourself as a bit of a hero? How about the protector of mankind? Well now NASA is looking for just that -- and it'll pay a six-figure salary for the honor. The U.S. space agency is currently in search not of life on other planets but of a "Planetary Protection Officer," who can protect Earth and its inhabitants from alien invasion. The job, which is offering a salary of between $124,406 and $187,000 per year, involves preventing alien microbes from contaminating the Earth, as well as ensuring human space explorers do not damage other planets, moons and objects in space. "Planetary protection is concerned with the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration," NASA wrote in the job posting on its website late last month. Other duties include advising Safety Mission Assurance officials on planetary protection matters and ensuring compliance by robotic and human spaceflight missions.
So they are just looking for someone who can leverage existing basic isolation protocols to create additional protocols for returning missions.
No ray guns involved. :-(
1/2 of slashdot users are going to apply for this
Build a Man a Fire, and He'll Be Warm for a Day. Set a Man on Fire, and He'll Be Warm for the Rest of His Life.
The biggest problem with it being that they're going to get all kinds of hopelessly unqualified applicants, which will create more work for HR to weed those ones out quickly.
File under 'M' for 'Manic ranting'
It would be a bit of a pay cut, but he's got the resume. Oh, it's more about biological contamination? Then obviously Dustin Hoffman.
I'm sorry, but your opinion seems to be wrong.
I was hoping the posting would be for the first Starfleet commander. Very disappointing
Disclaimer: I am an actual alien
I do not want your cheap brainburning drugs. They are useless for work. And I am a working man today.
Well, we're going to need someone to take the blame.
This will be the easiest job the world... until it becomes the hardest....
Someone wants to give you a job!
Sgt. Keller: "Follow me upstairs, like, now."
Joe: "Right now? W-- Shouldn't I train this guy?"
Sgt. Keller: "I think he can figure out how to sit on his ass and watch TV all day."
-The wise argue that there are few absolutes, the fool argues that there are no probabilities.
The actual details of what the job involves or how to do it is unknown. But the position has absolutely no power or authority to do anything. But the applicant must be prepared to be the fall guy and take full responsibility if anything goes wrong that can be blamed on her/him.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/474414000
Job Overview
Summary
This position is assigned to Office of Safety and Mission Assurance for Planetary Protection. Planetary protection is concerned with the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration. NASA maintains policies for planetary protection applicable to all space flight missions that may intentionally or unintentionally carry Earth organisms and organic constituents to the planets or other solar system bodies, and any mission employing spacecraft, which are ntended (yes, that's mis-spelled on the usajobs.gov web site) to return to Earth and its biosphere with samples from extraterrestrial targets of exploration. This policy is based on federal requirements and international treaties and agreements.
I'll take the job. If the Earth gets visited by aliens any time before I retire, I'll give all the money back. Deal?
systemd is Roko's Basilisk.
no doubt
He'll annoy and bore the aliens to tears, and they'll leave!
We should build a huge transparent wall around the entire Earth and make the aliens pay for it.
In other words, NASA is looking for a CCO . A Chief Censorship Officer. This is so anything regarding the truth of the subject is promptly censored and funneled to the proper black program manager, which trillions of your tax dollars pays for, but you are not allowed to see or know about it.
Where do I sign up?
Kill the Alien Bastards. I can see them now, with their gray skin and their large black eyes. Jack Handey knows how to deal with scum like this. Introduce them to the flowers of earth. http://www.newyorker.com/magaz...
Here's the plan. We're going to move the entire population of the earth to six cities all lined up in a row and all of the nukes will be launched from three locations. One in the middle of the cities and the other two flanking the cities. I'm going to need control of all nukes and hook all of that up to a radar screen. For controls I need a trackball and three firing buttons to select which location the missiles will be fired from. . Everything that gets past earth orbit gets nuked.
This is like closing the barn door after the horses have run away. We've already been impacted by plenty of fragments from Mars, comets, etc. If there's life elsewhere, it's possible it started via panspermia Then again, that's a pretty big "if" - there's no evidence one way or the other that there's life elsewhere - just WAGs made by wags (definition # 11 - someone not to be taken seriously)..
"Transparent" is a shit show that trades on every stereotype going. A man in drag is NOT a transsexual.
This job has NOTHING to do with "space aliens" it's about preventing our space missions from contaminating other planets and moons, etc.
Typical science ignorant press
This sounds like a job written as a hand out to someone's biology PhD buddy. Probably some environmental "scientist" friend that can't find a job.
as well as ensuring human space explorers do not damage other planets, moons and objects in space.
THIS is the hard part of the job.
Otherwise, I'd go sign up for the $187,000/Year for 3 years, to protect earth from space microbes, BECAUSE the risk of a meaningful incident is extremely miniscule.
Anyways, they probably don't consider my experience in IT meaningful for what is essentially the same as the hospital safety officers who work to define rules, procedures, and compliance programs for doctors and medical practitioners to ensure safe sanitary practices and isolation of deadly hazards such as ebola.
Planetary Protection LTG USAF is better
Doesn't matter.
1) No matter where we go, our shit will follow, literally.
2) Same for whoever comes here.
You simply cannot do anything useful, such as colonizing, without that eventuality.
So there's zero point in trying to prevent it.
And if you try to fuck with the microbiome, such as by sterilizing yourselves, you'll die from either that, or what you encounter anyways.
There is NO invention that the white man has "invented" that would exist without help from a person of African Descent
Well, that's obvious, since all humans are of African descent. In other words, we're all part coon.
Let's see...they crashed a probe into Mars, because a kilogram is not a pound the world around, and then they crashed a probe full of comet dust to the Earth, because they thought the parachutes would work. Seems to me they've already violated all the prime directives.
There are millions of automatic transmissions in use. And the epicyclic gear system is common in other places too. None of the gears, not the sun, nor the ring, nor the planetary needs any special protection officer. Why suddenly create one?
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
We designed the Egyptian pyramids.
Congrats, one of your ancestors learned how to stack rocks in a pile.
Thanks, I'd wondered what the Director of the DEO got paid.
[Insert pithy quote here]
The point you are missing, you ignorant motherfucker, is that dark skinned Africans are superior to light skinned cracker bitches, and WE were the ones that invented everything, not those fucking white and yellow cunts. How can you be so FUCKING stupid?
Did you even go to college?
the affluent make up these high paying, do nothing, jobs to give to one another
it's just the cronyism, nepotism & patronism rewards program
Is that sarcasm? FUCK YOU, cracker. You wish you had a penis as big as mine.
They are called c words (crackers). Or to be more descriptive, "people" of Caucasian Descent. These things are unnatural. They steal from the true innovators of the world, people of African Descent, and they use this stolen knowledge to oppress those of African Descent.
There is NO invention that the white man has "invented" that would exist without help from a person of African Descent. We designed the Egyptian pyramids. And we invented the following things: the light bulb, refrigerators, air conditioning, the automatic transmission, airplanes, cell phones, the cotton gin, portable computers, tablets, the iPhone, the hairbrush, the broom and mop, the nuclear reactor and bomb, pocket watches, toilets, and clean water.
Indeed, without us, you white and yellow beasts would be living in mud huts, wearing loinclothes, and eating bugs while we were living like kings and queens!!
Thank you for clarifying that nothing could be done without people of African descent, to include ignorance and racism. We will never consider ourselves a single human race thanks to your help. Stand proud.
That's just great! I've finally decided that the only way I'm going to get superpowers is to be infected by some sort of alien virus or something (would settle for a symbiotic relationship) and I discover that the government is creating a job specifically designed to prevent that.
Lunacy
Aliens have helped human's for thousands of years. Who else could have helped transport million of tons of rock to build monolithic structure when all these people had was sticks and primitive tools? We are just to much in denial to admit alien's have been a big part of our advancement for a very long time.
Personally, I seriously doubt any alien life is coming to attack us, at least of which none we have already had contact with. We are probably more at risk of killing ourselves then any alien race doing so. But hey, the pays good so might as well apply to protect us from the Klingon's.
I want the job of rooting out the 5th columnists that are infected with brain worms and making the earth easier to destroy...
The ones covering up & helping the NWO, Illuminatii, existance of UFO, advanced offworld tech & pedophile Satanists.
Bush, Clinton, Rothchilds, JP Morgan, Rockafellers, Monsanto and their ilk lookout...
Disclousure Now !
We need to be ready !
Who is up to no good ?
Who are allies ?
Is there a cosmic war ?
Interstellar travel or multiverse ?
Gods, Aliens, Demons, Angels ? What are they really ?
Zero Point Energy ?
This is my opinion based on what little I know and understand of the rumors and lies Thanks, Randal
This suggests to me that they have already discovered space bacteria and aren't telling us.
And I use this ancient skill every weekend when I light my grill with (black) charcoal! Thanks, Africa!
Er, never mind, I AM saying it was aliens - it's my JOB!
LOL got em.
I volunteer to do this job. I promise that I will scrub down every lander with Wet Ones, and spritz the rockets with hand sanitizer!
The real work of protecting *other* worlds from US is extremely important as we continue to move closer and closer toward getting to Mars. I'm very glad to see (and not at all surprised) to see NASA continuing to pursue this.
I thought Slashdot was supposed to be above clickbait... /s
Leave space underneath so the air gets thru.
Six figures doesn't sound like much to defend the planet.
I wonder what the aliens would pay.
Remember, NASA is just as much "government" as the Air Force. China wants to build a station on the moon. As an Planetary Protection Officer, I say that they're not doing it up to "code" and will therefore assume jurisdiction because I say so. Private mining companies are talking about mining asteroids. As an Planetary Protection Officer, I'm going to have to inspect those precious rare metals for "safety." It's going to be expensive and a lot of paper work. It's "not my fault; bureaucracy is to blame." I can't wait for the commission and bullshit government bonuses. Want to go to Mars? I have to go with you and the equipment I take with me to setup while there is none of your damn business. Normal police get $30K average a year. By that logic and taking account of the 120K full time officers in the U.S., will there be about 20-30K Planetary Protection Officers? NASA currently has about 18K employees.
Anyone with half a brain knows this job is complete bullshit.
So aliens have the technology to travel half-way across the galaxy via FTL and our primitive technology will stop them???
/sarcasm Riiight.
Can I have some of what you are smoking please!? Because someone has been watching too much Independence Day.
I already have the perfect defense that works at the speed of light. But sorry, My salary is 8 figures.
Not a problem -- taken care of already:
Trump (FoxNews): "I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me. Believe me. And I'll build it very inexpensively. I'll build a great, great wall..."
There is no reason for this unless they found something, or think it's likely. Titan or Jupiter I'll bet.
Actually, before half of the slashdot users can apply, half of them have to apply, and half of the remaining, then half of that and half of that and so on.
There are an infinite number of halves, so you can never get there.
Ian Malcom is the only one that can save the world !!
This is why $18.4 in tax payer funds falling from the sky accomplishes no space victories for us.
As a conservative I'd be genuinely interested in hearing Bernie explain if this nonsense promotes the general welfare socialists talk about all the time.
I don't see any governments or government coalitions landing anyone on the moon or mars in our lifetimes or any point in the future.
Distant Death
"We need to invest heavily in the military to defend ourselves against potential alien attack. More nukes, more missiles, new defense programs. "
There. I pretty much have got the job.
@NASA
Easy job, 'cause you won't find them. No guarantees about preventing your space-men from becoming destroying other planets - that one will be entirely on you.
I don't really want to register a /. account, or submit to a formal application process. So, if you believe me to be eminantly qualified for the position, you'll have to subpeona the site administrators to trace this stupid semi-anonymous comment back to whoever posted it. Or ask your colleagues in the NSA search their unlawfully obtained data and see what turns up.
Job sounds extremely awesome: https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob...
Job Overview
Summary
About the Agency
This position is assigned to Office of Safety and Mission Assurance for Planetary Protection. Planetary protection is concerned with the avoidance of organic-constituent and biological contamination in human and robotic space exploration. NASA maintains policies for planetary protection applicable to all space flight missions that may intentionally or unintentionally carry Earth organisms and organic constituents to the planets or other solar system bodies, and any mission employing spacecraft, which are ntended to return to Earth and its biosphere with samples from extraterrestrial targets of exploration. This policy is based on federal requirements and international treaties and agreements.
Current Agency policy requires the SL appointments be time-limited. The initial appointment will be for 3 years, with the possibility of extending for an additional 2 years. The selectee for this position will receive a temporary promotion. Employee will then return to a grade level no lower than the grade previously held at the home center. This temporary promotion may be converted to permanent without further competition.
Duties
The Planetary Protection Officer (PPO) is responsible for the leadership of NASA's planetary protection capability, maintenance of planetary protection policies, and oversight of their implementation by NASAs space flight missions. The PPO also supports the Safety and Mission Assurance (SMA) Technical Authority and serves as a principal advisory resource for the Chief, SMA and other senior officials on matters pertaining to planetary protection. The PPO is the Agency's focal point for interactions with external organizations on matters related to planetary protection. Primarily the Planetary Protection Officer performs the following:
Leads planning and coordination of activities related to NASA mission planetary protection needs.
Leads independent evaluation of, and provides advice regarding, compliance by robotic and human spaceflight missions with NASA planetary protection policies, statutory requirements and international obligations.
Advises the Chief, SMA and other officials regarding the merit and implications of programmatic decisions involving risks to planetary protection objectives.
In coordination with relevant offices, leads interactions with COSPAR, National Academies, and advisory committees on planetary protection matters.
Recommends and leads the preparation of new or revised NASA standards and directives in accordance with established processes and guidelines.
Supervisory Status
No
Promotion Potential
00
Welcome, COMMANDER.
Get Philip J. Fry to do it: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/...
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
I don't want to pay federal or state taxes; ever.
Or live in Houston again - lived 7 yrs just off NASA Rd 1.
Pick me. I have read everything that Asimov wrote.
It's ultimately destined to fail. Once Space Exploration becomes commonplace by commercial companies then like we see on planet earth today. It's just a matter of time before we have a cross contamination both ways. Just look at the failure to stop invasive species no matter how hard they try. I suppose it gives a false peace of mind.
Just what are they going to do with the so called microbe bearing meteorites that strike our planet? Doomed even as we speak.
Not so fast. Take the "spanish flu" during WW I. That killed a lot of people and it killed them on both sides of the fighting lines. So there is an example where we didn't have cross contamination because of war yet it was on both sides at the same time. It was a space microbe, clearly.
So WTH do you do about that?
Never the less, you could have that job for a really long time. We may never have another instance of a space microbe killing us. We could also have one next week.
were at the bottom of a gravity well. aliens who can somehow get here will have tech superiority, AND will be at the top of that well, just drop rocks on us endlessly. so much for security. we could devolve into mice, perhaps
Where's the job for the xenolinguist? That's the one I'm waiting for.
Emilio Sandoz