Want to Be Happy? Think Like an Old Person (nytimes.com)

The New York Times: Older people report higher levels of contentment or well-being than teenagers and young adults. The six elders put faces on this statistic. If they were not always gleeful, they were resilient and not paralysed by the challenges that came their way. All had known loss and survived. None went to a job he did not like, coveted stuff she could not afford, brooded over a slight on the subway or lost sleep over events in the distant future. They set realistic goals. Only one said he was afraid to die. Gerontologists call this the paradox of old age: that as people's minds and bodies decline, instead of feeling worse about their lives, they feel better (Editor's note: the link may be paywalled; alternative source). In memory tests, they recall positive images better than negative; under functional magnetic resonance imaging, their brains respond more mildly to stressful images than the brains of younger people. John Sorensen, who liked to talk, brought cheer to every conversation, even those about wanting to die. Helen Moses and Ping Wong knew exactly what they wanted: for Ms Moses, it was her daughter and Mr Zeimer; for Ms Wong, it was mah-jongg and the camaraderie it entailed, even if the other players spoke a different dialect or followed the rules of a different home region. Mr Jones, Ms Willig and Mr Mekas all spent their energy on the things they could still do that brought them satisfaction, not on what they had lost to age.

Comments

Get off my lawn!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow. I do feel better!

I can vouch for this.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm in my late 30's but I don't own a smartphone, don't partake of social media, don't have a dozen credit cards, don't have tens of thousands of dollars in college loan debt, don't buy into all the latest electronics fads, don't live beyond my means, don't act like I'm married to my job, don't have countless hollow relationships with people I don't care about, et cetera.

I never thought about it before, but I'm way less stressed than most people my age.

P.S. It helps that I also don't have kids or a significant other. And no plans to have either of course of my life. So add freedom to the list.

Re:I can vouch for this.

[Applehu Akbar]

Early 70s here. I have a smartphone, high-end tablet and large desktop. All debts are paid. I buy into whatever interests me the most, whether or not they interest anyone else. I use social media to keep up with what other people are thinking about a variety of topics, such as this one right here. I live in a small rural town and have more friends than I ever had time for when I was working corporate consulting. I still run my residential IT service business as a sideline, helping my fellow chrono-Americans keep up with the new century. And yes, I'm still handling IT for my mother, who at age 95 runs a business of her own with her MacBook Pro.

I have always been an optimist, but what seems different right now is a strong sense of living in the future that comes from contrasting life as we live it now with life as it was lived when I was a child. In those days China and India were famous purely for starvation and everyone assumed, whatever their politics, that Communism and the Cold War would be around forever. Conservatives back then admired Muslim societies because of their rigorous punishment of criminals, applauding whenever the Saudis cut off some thief's hands. Meanwhile liberals, and I swear I'm not making anything up, were in favor of sex, with both their men and their women believing that we should have more of it. In those days the Republican Party had principles, such as balanced budgets, and the Democrats had vision. I find it difficult to explain to young people how public thought has changed since then.

Don't have to go Amish to be happy

[SuperKendall]

I'm in my 40's, generally really happy, and...

I don't own a smartphone,

I do! But I decide when I want to interact with it. I treat it as a tool for my benefit.

don't partake of social media

I do! But again I use it mostly as a tool to help others, and don't let it define what I do or listen to demands that I feed it. Like any petulant child you must raise social media right.

don't have a dozen credit cards

I do! Well, almost. But I carry balances on NONE. Because again, I control the tool, I don't let the tool control me. And along the way I've gotten lots of nice benefits like flights where I flew business for very little cash out, on flights I would have been flying coach otherwise.

don't have tens of thousands of dollars in college loan debt

Well I'll mostly agree with you on that one, except that it can be reasonable to incur that kind of debt for a handful of jobs - software development among them. Now hundreds of thousands in debt, there are very few jobs that warrant that debt burden.

don't buy into all the latest electronics fads

I do! But not ALL of them. There's nothing wrong with owning some cool electronics as long as you stay well within your income (and savings).

don't act like I'm married to my job, don't have countless hollow relationships with people I don't care about,

Kind of the same thing, in the. But I think there can be value in such relationships, and sometimes you find things that are hollow really are not. Being married to your job when you are younger for a time, can have real value in advancement of career that will benefit you the rest of your life.

P.S. It helps that I also don't have kids or a significant other. And no plans to have either of course of my life. So add freedom to the list.

I think for a lot of people it does not help to have no SO. Even though I personally am with you on kids I think there are a lot of people who are a lot happier with kids than without. All of that depends on the person... also with an SO in your life there can still be a lot of freedom (as an individual), in addition to having someone to share the results of that freedom with.

don't live beyond my means

That's the thing. None of the items you posted really matter besides this one, which is why I moved it to the last item. Pretty much anything you do will be OK if you don't end up placing a huge burden on yourself doing so, and in todays modern age debt is a very huge burden because of the legal overhang above you. It's also true that if you feel the same way and you want an SO you had better make sure you are on the same page about money and debt, because it removes a huge point of stress between two people.

Basically Spock was right - live long and prosper. But you can't prosper spending more than you take in.

10 ways to think like an, "Old Person"

[sycodon]

Remember these things.

1. No one gives a shit what you think.
2. No one gives a shit how you feel.
3. You aren't as smart is you think you are. If you are, keep your fucking mouth shut about it.
4. Don't bother trying to save the World. The World doesn't give a fuck about you or your efforts.
5. Take responsibility for the dumb fuck things you've done and don't do them again.
6. Don't treat people like shit.
7. Remember it's not about you.
8. It's none of you fucking business.
9. Don't leave a mess
10. Don't Whine.