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Firefly Canon To Expand With Series of Original Books (ew.com)

Posted by msmash on from the rejoice dept.

More Firefly stories are on the way. Entertainment Weekly: EW can exclusively report that Titan Books and Twentieth Century Fox Consumer Products have teamed up to publish an original range of new fiction tying in to Joss Whedon's beloved but short-lived TV series Firefly. The books will be official titles within the Firefly canon, with Whedon serving as consulting editor. The first book is due in the fall. Starring Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, and Alan Tudyk, the western-tinged space opera ran from 2002 to 2003 on Fox. Exploring weighty moral and ethical questions, Firefly centered on a collection of characters living on the fringes of society, joined together in the pioneer culture of their star system in the wake of a civil war. It lasted just 14 episodes, but in the decade and a half since it went off the air has amassed a significant cult following.

106 comments

  1. Bronies too by goombah99 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I hear that to expand the readership they will have the horse/western aspect fold in bronies.

    Really, I love firefly but I love it as it is.

    --
    Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
    1. Re:Bronies too by uCallHimDrJ0NES · · Score: 2

      Whatever the new authors want to do. Canonicity is something fans use to make themselves mad and start fights. It's a fun time for some, and an alternately funny or sad thing to watch. Look at what's happened to Star Wars fan dialogue because of notions of canonicity interacting with personality worship. Bronies welcome, anti-bronies welcome too, is what I say. Whatever the author wants to do, as long as characters are true to their natures, it should all work out.

      --
      Cloudiot: A person who does not see offsite storage as a way to lose control over access to his or her own data.
    2. Re:Bronies too by elrous0 · · Score: 1

      Alternatively, you can just accept that the show ended, treasure the one season we got, and console yourself with the fact that it could have ended up just meandering for several seasons past its prime.

      Ask yourself this. Would you have lamented The Simpsons getting cancelled in 1998, if you had known then what you know now?

      Either way, comic books, novels, videogames, etc. are no substitute for the real thing. Just let it go, man.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    3. Re:Bronies too by trabby · · Score: 1

      Simpsons cancelled in 1998? That would have been a blessing.

      Stopping after the first 8 or 9 seasons would have been just fine with me.

      https://deadhomersociety.com/z...

  2. Will the hot girl be in it? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Miss her

    1. Re:Will the hot girl be in it? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Which one?

      There were 4 "hott girls".

    2. Re:Will the hot girl be in it? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      5, if you count the redhead as a regular.

    3. Re:Will the hot girl be in it? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      For two out of fourteen episodes plus the movie?

      Maybe you want to count Mr. Universe's lovebot/wife too? The real life actress that played her is pretty hot.

      Also Nandi. Come to think of it I don't think there were any women in that show that weren't hawt.

    4. Re: Will the hot girl be in it? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Come to think of it I don't think there were any women in that show that weren't hawt.

      Welcome to television and unrealistic standards.

  3. Will it become over saturated like ST/SW/XF? by mykepredko · · Score: 2

    If you're an aspiring Sci-Fi writer, I think the basic first step has become to write a Star Trek/Star Wars as well as (with less numerous) X-Files "canons".

    The early books in these were generally pretty readable by pretty good writers but they've proliferated beyond all belief, basically becoming Harlequin Romances for Nerds. Most (used) book stores I go to now have sections devoted to these titles and they're crowding out original Sci-Fi.

    I liked the characters and setting of Firefly, but the TV episodes' stories never really grabbed me. There are a few that are memorable but most felt pretty pedestrian to me - maybe a few good books would help move the series forwards.

    --
    Mimetics Inc. Twitter
    1. Re:Will it become over saturated like ST/SW/XF? by jwhyche · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The early books in these were generally pretty readable by pretty good writers but they've proliferated beyond all belief, basically becoming Harlequin Romances for Nerds. Most (used) book stores I go to now have sections devoted to these titles and they're crowding out original Sci-Fi.

      This is the exact reason I stopped reading Star Trek books. The early books where actually very good. Even the weak ones where readable. Some where even fantastic, Yesterday's Son comes to mind. They where not even afraid to take risk.

      Then they took a nose dive sometime in the '90 with hack writers like Michael Jan Friedman and plots just didn't make any sense. Even for Star Trek. I was reading the book Dyson Sphere and the plot go so stupid I tossed in the trash halfway through it and didn't read another Star Trek book for 10 years.

      I picked up one at the grocery store because the back looked interesting. My mistake. Instead of all the books containing complete individual stories like the episodes. Now they all tie into arcs and if you want to know what is going on in this book, you have to read these book. Fuck that.

      --
      I read at +2. If your post doesn't reach that level I will not see or respond to it.
    2. Re:Will it become over saturated like ST/SW/XF? by novakyu · · Score: 1

      Um, the books aren't canon. You heretic.

  4. The comics are good. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Novels based on visual media are usually crap. Sorry Zahn, this also includes your SW novels.

  5. Sad memories by duke_cheetah2003 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    It's painful to see this brought up. Firefly was an amazing series that was cut short. So much time and effort was put into probably one of the best Sci-Fi series we've seen in a good while, and it was given an early unwarranted death and a crappy movie to appease fans.

    For me? Nothing short of a reboot of the series will satisfy. Like many modern humans, reading books isn't something I'm terribly keen on doing.

    So yeah, if they want to bring this back, do a deal with Netflix or some similar entity. Fuck books. Recast everything, start back from the beginning and hopefully give us many pleasing seasons of Sci-Fi drama!

    1. Re:Sad memories by Baron_Yam · · Score: 4, Insightful

      >Firefly was an amazing series that was cut short.

      In its short run, it had a couple of fairly weak episodes that didn't bode well for a long run. As awesome as the good bits were, I think we're suffering from the effects of advice they were forced to follow: "Always leave them wanting more".

      >Nothing short of a reboot of the series will satisfy.

      Too soon. I know I remember the original well enough that I would be disappointed no matter what they did. I'd rather somebody just come up with a vaguely similar premise and slap a different name on it, with 'inspired by Firefly' in the closing credits or something.

    2. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why do nerds think Firefly was that good? It had some good moments, but was overall pretty weak. Joss Whedon never has staying power anyway, he can't write for women who aren't just nerd fantasy tropes.

    3. Re:Sad memories by PCM2 · · Score: 1

      Like many modern humans, reading books isn't something I'm terribly keen on doing.

      Jesus Christ, is that what passes for a "nerd" today? I'm glad I don't know you, dude.

      --
      Breakfast served all day!
    4. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      >Firefly was an amazing series that was cut short.

      In its short run, it had a couple of fairly weak episodes that didn't bode well for a long run. As awesome as the good bits were, I think we're suffering from the effects of advice they were forced to follow: "Always leave them wanting more".

      It was, in fact, a silly premise that took such great delight in being silly that it was a hell of a lot of fun. It was a western set in space, and they didn't even try to pretend it was anything else but-- in one case, they have a spaceship making a train robbery (yow-- they have spaceships in this universe-- why in the world are they transporting a valuable medicine by train??)

      That sillyness would wear off pretty quickly-- what makes Firefly delightful precisely is because it only had one season.

      The part about "uh, nothing in here makes any bit of sense" works... for one season. Uh, a high price prostitute that has her base on, basically, a tramp freighter, that might be going of to anywhere at any time, so that her high-price customers don't even know what planet she will be on? What's that about? Oh, it's about the fact that the western has a stereotype prostitute with a heart of gold, of course.

    5. Re:Sad memories by bigdavex · · Score: 1

      I loved the show. A reboot would annoy me. Anything that borrows from the original show's ideas would be better without the baggage of expectations.

      Imagine, instead of the original Firefly, Joss Whedon made the Han Solo movie. Would it be better because of the Star Wars franchise? I don't think so.

      --
      -Dave
    6. Re:Sad memories by jwhyche · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Jesus Christ, is that what passes for a "nerd" today? I'm glad I don't know you, dude.

      He isn't. I don't know how that got modded up to +4 ether.

      Everyone know one of the true signs of nerddom is the love to read, with scifi and fantasy at the top. I don't know one true nerd that doesn't have a well stock library, physical or virtual. One of the reasons I got my android tablet was so I could have all my favorite books with me at all times, and have access to an infinite supply at the touch of a button.

      I deny his nerddom.

      --
      I read at +2. If your post doesn't reach that level I will not see or respond to it.
    7. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Like many modern humans, reading books isn't something I'm terribly keen on doing.

      I weep for the future of our species.

    8. Re:Sad memories by Kjella · · Score: 1

      Well it depends on whether it's a book turned series/movie or series/movie turned book. A few I've done both, like LotR or Fire & Ice. But as far I as know/care, something like Star Trek has always been TV. If there's spin-off books of James T. Kirk or Jean-Luc Picard I don't really care. And some series like the Sword of Shannara the series is to me a completely different beast. I only saw Firefly as a TV series... to me, that's my canon. So if there are follow-up books... meh.

      --
      Live today, because you never know what tomorrow brings
    9. Re:Sad memories by duke_cheetah2003 · · Score: 1

      Everyone know one of the true signs of nerddom is the love to read, with scifi and fantasy at the top. I don't know one true nerd that doesn't have a well stock library, physical or virtual. One of the reasons I got my android tablet was so I could have all my favorite books with me at all times, and have access to an infinite supply at the touch of a button.

      Oh I love to read, just not books. I just... I just would rather read my screen or play video games, or do something at my computer, rather than sit down with a dead tree. I enjoy books, I like to listen to audio books while gaming. Not that I really need to justify my existence to you or anyone else. I'm fine not being a 'nerd', I'm just a computer guru whom doesn't really like to sit with a book. I think labels are for fools anyway. I'm just a disgruntled human, nothing more or less.

    10. Re:Sad memories by jouassou · · Score: 1

      I can relate to what he's saying. At work, I spend all day working with text in some form or another: reading and writing scientific papers, simulation code, email correspondence, etc. That's usually 10-12 hours per day working with different kinds of text. When I get home, I'm too exhausted to read anything else for fun, regardless of whether it's prose or just a newspaper. I do however love to sit down and chill with a good sci-fi/fantasy series on the evenings.

    11. Re:Sad memories by denzacar · · Score: 1

      Try audio books.

      --
      Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
    12. Re:Sad memories by jwhyche · · Score: 2

      I find your explanation to be acceptable, and I retract my denial of your nerd hood. :)

      I don't do the dead tree thing any more ether. I do all my reading on a tablet or screen too. Audio books are good too. I find that more people are turning to them too.

      --
      I read at +2. If your post doesn't reach that level I will not see or respond to it.
    13. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

      In its short run, it had a couple of fairly weak episodes that didn't bode well for a long run.

      Every Joss Whedon show had a weak first season. They all got better, not worse, in subsequent seasons.

    14. Re:Sad memories by Rei · · Score: 1

      You could always go meta and watch a TV show with someone reading in it ;)

      River reads a story, surrounded by little injured children:

      River: (sweet voice) "And the beautiful princess every night prayed for her handsome prince... "

      River: (later, continuing) "... to fight through the terrible ivy of thorns and climb up to her room and slay all the wicked, evil demons... "

      River: (much later, sweetly sing-songy) "And then the beautiful princess got tired of waiting for her handsome prince and tried to escape, but they found her and to punish her they locked her in a smelly, white, cold room where the evil blue demons strapped electrodes to her face and started to shock her. Zap, zap, zap, until she couldn't stop screaming. Only no one could hear."

      (River remains smiling; the kids not so much. In fact, they're just a little bit freaked out by the story and by the freaky lady telling it)

      --
      It's time for Operation Crazy Plan.
    15. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      And then River walks over to Inara and whispers to her "I love how you were using one of these to screw the guy with the messed up face in that other movie. Would you put it on now and do me in the butt, Calendar Girl?"

      Then all of a sudden the children got squeezed out of the room by obvioulsy flustered guys jingling the change in their pockets.

    16. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Every Joss Whedon show had a weak first season. They all got better, not worse, in subsequent seasons.

      Hmm..
      Your hypothesis doesn't seem to apply to Buffy, Angel and Dollhouse.

      I agree with Firefly having a couple a weak episodes. Same with the others.
      It is called fillers and they are used to not spend the interesting story too fast.
      Sometimes you use them to flesh out the minor characters a bit.
      I don't see this as the weak part. All good shows have them.

      The thing is, the one thing that made Firefly so much better than the other Whedon shows is that it got cancelled before it overstayed its welcome.
      I would have loved to watch three full seasons of it. I highly doubt that it wouldn't be less wonky that the other shows after that.

    17. Re:Sad memories by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      he can't write for women who aren't just nerd fantasy tropes.

      Tropes are tropes for a reason.

      No-one writes women who aren't just nerd fantasy tropes.
      If it were unique to Whedon it wouldn't be tropes.

    18. Re:Sad memories by jareth-0205 · · Score: 2

      In its short run, it had a couple of fairly weak episodes that didn't bode well for a long run. As awesome as the good bits were, I think we're suffering from the effects of advice they were forced to follow: "Always leave them wanting more".

      No and yes. Creative development doesn't work like that - missteps happen in a new series while it's finding its feet, and some of the longer term stuff set up just begged to be developed... the worse things can just be dropped. Remember Star Trek TNG season 1? Amazed that made it out alive...

      >Nothing short of a reboot of the series will satisfy.

      Too soon. I know I remember the original well enough that I would be disappointed no matter what they did. I'd rather somebody just come up with a vaguely similar premise and slap a different name on it, with 'inspired by Firefly' in the closing credits or something.

      Agreed, that and I doubt Whedon would go there again, it's not really his style to recast and restart, more likely to move on to something new.

    19. Re:Sad memories by Comrade+Ogilvy · · Score: 1

      You are conflating superficial detail and foundational concepts by lumping them together as "premise".

      For example, at the superficial level, both versions of Battlestar Galatica are the same. At a deeper level, the first is a romp of a space western with a few cheap Cold War and Christian mythic references thrown in to spice up the drama, and second is gritty True Horror (the exploration of what humanity really means through extremely ugly moral dilemmas).

      At the superficial level, Firefly was a western. At a deeper level, it is about a ship filled with wounded birds, bravely living the consequences of their choices and wondering if there might be a better life, if only they could get past the challenge of the week.

      Inara herself is a classic trope at the superficial level -- Whedon chose that first impression because it is easy to understand. At a deeper level, she is more than that. At the cusp of fabulous success of her chosen career, she realized it will not bring her happiness. The kooky career shift is a desperate means to explore who she really is while keeping one foot in the door of the world where she can fall back on her successes. It does not quite make sense and she knows it; but it can sort of work for a few years.

  6. On one condition by nitehawk214 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    As long as Alan Tudyk narrates the audiobooks.

    --
    I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
    1. Re:On one condition by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You, sir or madam, win the award for most brilliant idea of 2018, possibly of the decade, and I say this with full knowledge of the space car.

  7. Be Like Elsa by CanHasDIY · · Score: 2

    ... and let it freaking go.

    It was a great show for the season that it lasted, but that was almost 15 years ago. Fillion isn't giving up the rights, nor is he going to do anything with them (other than maybe sue anyone who creates Firefily-based media).

    Come up with an original idea maybe, rather than riding the coat-tails of decades-old sci-fi.

    --
    An enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shrouded in bacon and cheese
    1. Re:Be Like Elsa by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The same could have been said of StarTrek before Next Generation took off and spawned many more quality movies and series. Would you rather live in a world where people "let go" of StarTrek just because it was old in the late 80's?

    2. Re:Be Like Elsa by uCallHimDrJ0NES · · Score: 1

      ...Fillion isn't giving up the rights...

      This made me laugh. Does CanHasDIY know something I don't? Does Fillion own the rights? Funny stuff if true, funny stuff if false.

      --
      Cloudiot: A person who does not see offsite storage as a way to lose control over access to his or her own data.
  8. Just bring it back already by mike2006 · · Score: 1

    No lack of material for a few new episodes with these new stories. They would need to find some excuse how the real Wash survived or just have add a new pilot character or characters.

    1. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Sure, Wash's body was grabbed by the gov't and they bring him back to life to hunt down Mal.

      I would pay to see the look on Zoe's face when Wash and the Operative show up and River kills them both

    2. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I am a leaf on the wind!

    3. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Indeed. The leaf was blown too and frow and ended as all leaves do, dead on the ground. Somehow people took this as inspiration or something.

    4. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      This is what it brought to mind for me

    5. Re:Just bring it back already by McPierce · · Score: 1

      It's so strange to see this today given that I just finished rewatching "Serenity" while working today!

      --
      Darryl L. Pierce "What do you care what people think, Mr. Feynman?"
    6. Re:Just bring it back already by CohibaVancouver · · Score: 1

      I just finished rewatching "Serenity" while working today!

      I want your job.

    7. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      He's a major star in the gay porn market.

    8. Re:Just bring it back already by Rei · · Score: 1

      You're a very "up" person.

      --
      It's time for Operation Crazy Plan.
    9. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They would need to find some excuse how the real Wash survived or just have add a new pilot character or characters.

      Well, the simplest way is to just ignore Serenity.

      Even if you don't it is still more of a space fantasy than science fiction. Just have Zoe buy a Wash-like robot. (Or retrieve whatever is left of the body and make it into a robo-zombie.)
      You can probably milk a couple a cheap jokes out of it too, or even have a drama episode where he struggles with his identity.

    10. Re:Just bring it back already by McPierce · · Score: 1

      That's an odd way to describe Ruby programming... :D

      --
      Darryl L. Pierce "What do you care what people think, Mr. Feynman?"
    11. Re:Just bring it back already by McPierce · · Score: 1

      I work from home as a programmer. I like to have stuff playing in the background, like Sirius XM. When the Howard Stern show finishes I tend to put on Netflix or Vudu in the background. :D

      --
      Darryl L. Pierce "What do you care what people think, Mr. Feynman?"
    12. Re:Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      pretty accurate though

    13. Re: Just bring it back already by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Touché.

  9. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    See you Space Cowboy

  10. Cowboy Bebop by mykepredko · · Score: 1

    I could read a few books based on the Cowboy Bebop characters (before Spike dies, of course).

    --
    Mimetics Inc. Twitter
    1. Re:Cowboy Bebop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      They could step back a few years and do more background on the characters, then expand the storylines.

      That way they could include the stories that we are familiar with, and give us new stories that both support and go beyond what we already know

    2. Re:Cowboy Bebop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      There's the manga based on the anime.

    3. Re:Cowboy Bebop by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      PROTIP: Spike didn't die

  11. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Creimertard. Mod down.

  12. Forget that.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Look at what has happened to Star Wars between the novels in the 70s until TPM came out, then look at how bad it has gotten post-TPM.

    Disney's sequels have shat all over the non-canon 'canon' for the vast majority of old Star Wars fans. The ones who are fans now are mostly children and people who might've been casual fans in decades past. But much like religion and various other bits of popular culture, the new fans never go through old material chronologically and instead start at the newest and work back, invalidating old works rather than choosing a point to schism based on where the newer works started to diverge.

    Same thing happened with Star Trek when TNG came out and retconned the klingons, who had a whole culture built up between pre-TNG TOS era klingon fiction and RPG source books.

    1. Re:Forget that.. by uCallHimDrJ0NES · · Score: 1

      Thanks for proving my point, Coward. It's fun to watch. At first.

      --
      Cloudiot: A person who does not see offsite storage as a way to lose control over access to his or her own data.
    2. Re:Forget that.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerdddssss!!!!

    3. Re:Forget that.. by Rei · · Score: 1

      What, are you afraid that Disney will get ahold of the rights to Firefly or something? ;)

      --
      It's time for Operation Crazy Plan.
    4. Re:Forget that.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It's pronounced nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds you fucking nerd.

    5. Re:Forget that.. by Gr8Apes · · Score: 1

      Look at what has happened to Star Wars between the novels in the 70s until TPM came out, then look at how bad it has gotten post-TPM.

      I hate to break it to you, but RotJ was already a major let down for us "real fans". Everything since RotJ, and actually including RotJ, was a major letdown. The cartoons were... bad. Since you're a cartoon fan, I'm guessing you weren't around when there were calls for Lucas to either direct Foster's Splinter of the Mind's Eye, or step aside and allow it to be made, because the whole Ewoks thing was so... stupid. It's been too long, but I'm guessing that Lucas reined in the rights for distributive works when he went on to create that terrible series of cartoons that almost no one but children watched, the same target as the He-Man generation.

      Disney's sequels have shat all over the non-canon 'canon' for the vast majority of old Star Wars fans. The ones who are fans now are mostly children and people who might've been casual fans in decades past. But much like religion and various other bits of popular culture, the new fans never go through old material chronologically and instead start at the newest and work back, invalidating old works rather than choosing a point to schism based on where the newer works started to diverge.

      Disney has actually injected some reasonable life into the SW property. Rogue One was fantastic, and everything that Ep 1-3 wasn't (good, engaging, build up of an intertwined story line) Granted, TFA was a rehash, but then so was RotJ. TFA was far better, IMHO (no stupid Ewoks, yes, I really disliked them to the point that they distracted from the story line almost as much as Jar-Jar) and I thought TLJ was a fitting end to the old guard. Disney effectively brought back the story line and then set it up to move along without any of the original characters. The "world" has been setup, some things were clarified, and now the storyline can move forward unhindered.

      Same thing happened with Star Trek when TNG came out and retconned the klingons, who had a whole culture built up between pre-TNG TOS era klingon fiction and RPG source books.

      Actually, TNG was fine, and no one cares about RPG source books - they're a deviation from the main story universe by definition. TNG was set a hundred plus years after TOS, given how things change and the lifespans implied in the movies, there's no chance that the universe changed over that time and that the Klingons made peace with the ever strengthening Federation? Now DS9 and Voyager both lost me - those were in your face moralistic with not enough storyline to keep me interested. Much like the rebooted BG seasons 2+, far too much yappity yap oh noes crap, and too little action or driving storyline.

      --
      The cesspool just got a check and balance.
    6. Re:Forget that.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      you miss the point the the Star Wars EU deserved, no needed to be shat on, from great height, and after eating much curry, it was DREADFULL

  13. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Um, Chris, knowledge of stupid mainstream garbage entertainment is not "geeky". Go read JCR Licklider's work, maybe we can talk.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man-Computer_Symbiosis

    PS: As usual, you got rattled and your crammar betrayed you again.

    "Please turn in your geek cred "

    It's "card", numb butt.

    " and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

    I'm glad to be "out" of any club that has you as a member!

  14. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Um, Chris, knowledge of stupid mainstream garbage entertainment is not "geeky".

    Blasphemer!

    Go read JCR Licklider's work, maybe we can talk.

    Not everyone on Slashdot is an underwear smelling CS major.

    "Please turn in your geek cred "

    It's "card", numb butt.

    Cred: street credibility.

    You're an embarrassment to the Slashdot community. Please leave.

  15. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Dear Team Creimer,

    My YouTube channel has 222K subscribers and many videos with hundred of thousands of views:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

    Now, with some slight adjustments, I think that together, we could make the view count skyrocket on your very own Team Creimer youtube channel :)

    Please feel confident to contact me if you want me to coach you, we aren't living so far away from each other so we could even easily meet.

    Love XX,

    Also don't let anybody stop you from fulfilling your dreams!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

    I have just closed my eyes again
    Climbed aboard the Team Creimer train
    Driver take away my worries of today
    And leave tomorrow behind

    Team Creimer, I believe you can get me through the night
    Team Creimer, I believe we can reach the morning light

    Fly me high through the starry skies
    Or maybe to an astral plane
    Cross the highways of fantasy
    Help me to forget today's pain

    Team Creimer, I believe you can get me through the night
    Team Creimer, I believe we can reach the morning light

    Though the dawn may be coming soon
    There still may be some time
    Fly me away to the bright side of the moon
    And meet me on the other side

    Team Creimer, I believe you can get me through the night
    Team Creimer, I believe we can reach the morning light

    --
    -Granny

  16. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Yes, thank you, I know what "cred" is, the question becomes how do you turn in a concept?

    "Not everyone on Slashdot is an underwear smelling CS major."

    Ah, envy.

    "You're an embarrassment to the Slashdot community."

    You don't speak for the community. The community actually already spoke: you're at -1 and have your videos get 3 views.

  17. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Douche.

  18. "embarrassment" ??? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Here are some "embarrassing" posts from creimer's old accounts. I'll start with his love of child brides.

    If all my assets were liquidated, I would still have enough cash to buy a new car and head off to Mexico to find a chica to marry.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    You're aware that are some states in the U.S. that allow underage marriage as young as 14 years old?
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    As for my comment, I've heard stories of engineers retiring at 50, moving to Mexico and marrying underage girls. Since I work with ex-military, the Philippines is a popular retirement spot for marrying underage girls as well. It's all about getting the most bang for your retirement dollars.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    That only works if you retire to Mexico, build a mansion (by local standards), marry an underage sweet thing and bequeath all your possessions to the village.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    You need to be more specific. I wrote 3,000+ comments this year.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    Nah... I just do it to piss off my trolls and make coffee money off of them.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    We have different priorities. You want to climb the corporate ladder. I want to own the corporate ladder.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    Your bitch licks your balls. Most people don't brag about practicing bestiality. Is there a reason why you married a dog and not a goat?
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    My employers don't care about what my Slashdot trolls think. Now go off and lick your balls somewhere else.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    iPhone 6s and reduce my monthly bill from $80 to $50. As a phone and a video camera, the iPhone 6s isn't obsolete. As a Sprint customer for 20+ years, Sprint will always offer me a new iPhone if I decide to stop using the 6s as a phone in the next several years.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    Miracle workers are never afraid to ask for a second opinion. Supervisor gave me his opinion ? and a mess to clean up. Lesson learned from this incident: if something isn't quite broken, break it.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    So you can turn around call me a liar again? People have been playing that game with me for years.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    Based on what I've read about Uber, he need to tell the boys to clean up their locker room behavior, zip up their pants, and attend sensitivity training until everyone agrees that women are not sexual objects.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    Which doesn't violate the Slashdot TOS. If you got a problem with that, take it up with management.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....
    This year I've posted ~4,000 comments.
    https://slashdot.org/comments....

    I don't bother with mod points. I'm doing something much more sinister. It took ten story submissions ? I'll have to d

  19. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Come on Granny PottyMouth! Leave Chris alone!

    It seems like Chris is a victim here. He keeps on reading those SEO, youtube algorithm, basically get rich quick sites. He doesn't realize that he is the fish for them since they make money off him with their own scheme. Then, he wastes his time trying to implement what those sites suggest and he ends up disturbing people.

    I mean, those crooks tell Chris that he has to build personal brands and he goes on the Internet and makes everything about himself public!

    I believe we should bring this up at our next meeting. He might not be our only patient victim of such on-line abuse.

    --
    Silvia Bunge
    Psychology Department
    University of California, Berkeley

  20. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Chris' case is getting worse, he spends all day replying to himself as AC on /.

    The tests we ran on Chris have shown that Chris has the intelligence of an ameba:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

    So, technically, he is able to conceive some kind of agenda but it will be silly or impossible to follow on a human scale.

    For example, Chris had an agenda to post anything he felt like on Slashdot which did not work well because it was based on his false beliefs that he had an infinite number of karma points as he wrote here several times.

    Several people here explained to Chris that karma maxed out at some level like 50 or so but Chris kept on insisting that his python script had confirmed that he had millions of karma points!

    Oh well, as I wrote before: "It isn't Chris' fault if he is the way he is. We do the best we can do with him and he is partially integrated into society. We try to cure his abnormal need for attention but he is kind of stubborn and won't listen to anybody."

    For the valuable /. users that might already have read the following, please note that there is an important update.

    IMPORTANT UPDATE:
    Special Education for the Santa Clara County Office of Education has invested money to buy Chris a new chair:
    http://www.keynamics.com/image...

    Information about Christopher Dale Reimer and autistic people:

    Autistic people have obsessions about things normal people don't care. For example, one of our autistic patient went haywire when he realized that there was a penny missing in his pocket change.

    To calm him down, one of our educator pretended to have found it on the floor and gave a penny to him.

    The autistic patient condition went even worse because he realized it wasn't the same penny!

    Chris has an obsession with budgeting every penny. He doesn't understand that most people do not budget to the penny and have a flexible amount they allow for miscellaneous items.

    I am Nancy Guerrero and I am Director of Special Education for the Santa Clara County Office of Education. We use Chris' (a.k.a. creimer,cdreimer) picture in our document because he is the hardest case we have ever had to handle:
    http://www.sccoe.org/depts/stu...

    Our artists were inspired by the low carb diet that Christopher follows scrupulously for the small lunch box and by the picture linked below for the rest. I am sure that you will notice the similarities such as the bump on the side of his chest and more:
    https://ibb.co/gVad65

    Please be easy on Christopher although, I am aware that some of our staff handling Chris post joke comments here and obvoiusly, the Santa Clara County Office of Education disapprove that behavior vehemently:
    http://ibb.co/mRVSaG

    But it isn't Chris' fault if he is the way he is. We do the best we can do with him and he is partially integrated into society. We try to cure his abnormal need for attention but he is kind of stubborn and won't listen to anybody.

    Thank You dear users,
    ---
    Nancy Guerrero
    Director
    Special Education
    Santa Clara County Office of Education

  21. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Rei · · Score: 1

    Purple elephants are flying.

    --
    It's time for Operation Crazy Plan.
  22. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    and have your videos get 3 views.

    The interesting thing about the recent videos is that the target audience doesn't even exist yet. Silicon Valley Comic Con 2018 doesn't start until April. Creimer's videos are already the top ranking videos for "Silicon Valley Comic Con 2018" on YouTube. Those videos will take off in April.

  23. Will Disney take over & make it awful? by walterbyrd · · Score: 0

    I think that's the way these things go.

    I think Disney would like to see a more feminized SJW Firefly.

  24. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You are such a ingenious marketer my love. You adapt quickly and you did as I suggested to you and you did not repeat the same mistake; posting your Christmas video on Christmas day!

    Never mind those "hump leg" trolls.

    I am deeply sorry. I didn't feel well lately but I am better now since I just had my meds adjusted at the hospital emergency. I am sorry that I called you all sorts of names and I feel truly ashamed of myself.

    The python click script you wrote for me my sweet love for my pheromone revenue stream web site suddenly stopped to work.

    Could you come visit me in my studio so we could look at it?

    Signed:
    Ethell, Your sweetee who will love you for ever.

    P.S. when I posted there was a funny form that asked me to retype the word "biceps" in a text field. That's funny and I went to look at your new picture again and got turned on. Please contact me ASAP.

  25. Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Can't lie I didn't believe you but in a VPN'd private tab you do indeed show up in the #4 spot and not the top ranking.
    As usual you can't resist the urge to lie and exaggerate which is a pity because
    #1 Most people don't believe anything you say and will dismiss this minor success as complete bullshit
    #2 The people who check will learn that you still lie and exaggerate even when you have something legitimately impressive to talk about.

    Unless of course you were telling the truth and you've already been bumped down 3 spots in an hour which means by April you'll be on page 10.
    Why creimer?

    1. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Can't lie I didn't believe you but in a VPN'd private tab you do indeed show up in the #4 spot and not the top ranking.

      Top ranking is any video on the first page. Creimer has three videos for "Silicon Valley Comic Con 2018" search result page. Since creimer is planning to publish weekly video until April and then daily videos in April (watch his latest video), he should dominate that particular search result.

      Why creimer?

      I'm not creimer. Seriously, not every AC is creimer.

    2. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'm not creimer. Seriously, not every AC is creimer.

      Can you imagine my embarrassment!
      I feel so silly now. Thinking that you were creimer. ROFL!

    3. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      That's funny LOL!

      I assume you did a double-take!

      POFL!

    4. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You know you're creimer and surely nobody else is fooled, so there are exactly 0 people who think some anonymous guy who knows all the details of creimer's life and talks like creimer just happens to be helping creimer out.

      Why keep up the facade?

    5. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Why persist with the delusions that no one reads at 0 or -1, every AC is creimer, and no one else has read creimer's comments over the past year?

      Your private vendetta against creimer is on a public forum for everyone to see. That is very annoying. Especially on mobile devices.

    6. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Care to explain how you browse at -1 on mobile devices? The slider element doesn't work right on most browsers. It's my experience that it takes lots of extra work to see a -1 post on mobile.

    7. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The whole complaint is like telling people what to eat because you don't like the kind of shit you find in the sewer.

    8. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Care to explain how you browse at -1 on mobile devices? The slider element doesn't work right on most browsers. It's my experience that it takes lots of extra work to see a -1 post on mobile.

      Noob, figure it out yourself.

    9. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just as I thought. You're not some guy who just happens to browse -1 on slashdot.
      You're a liar and probably creimer. Nice job.

      If you're not then fuckoff because your time is obviously worthless anyhow.

    10. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Just as I thought. You're not some guy who just happens to browse -1 on slashdot.
      You're a liar and probably creimer. Nice job.

      If you're not then fuckoff because your time is obviously worthless anyhow.

      Log into your user account, go to https://slashdot.org/prefs, and under Discussions, set "full comment threshold" and "one line comment threshold" to "-1: Uncut and Raw".

      Now get off my lawn, noob.

    11. Re:Almost told the truth today by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      CONGRATS!
      You're still obviously creimer
      I'm not the guy who spams you with zappa anyhow.
      Raw and uncut means you like reading shitty posts so enjoy.

  26. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Amazing youtube cred, Chris! The women gonna be knocking on old K729 !!!

  27. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The tests we ran on Chris have shown that Chris has the intelligence of an ameba:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

    Please, if you're going to troll someone spell the word correctly, especially if you're going to have a link with the correct spelling in it...

    Ironic captcha: pretend

  28. Neeeeeerds! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sci-fi books have their place, but please, lets not pretend these are multi-million dollar productions. My favorite promotional book blurb to this today remains--I forget what the book was--but it went something along the lines of "featuring a guest appearance from [some actor's name]".

    It's a freakin' book. Written by one guy on his computer, and then edited by some other guy. No actor from the corresponding televised series was ever involved in the production of that book in any way, shape or form at any point in time.

  29. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Remember when creimer pretended to be a girl online? Doesn't that make it even weirder that he tells jokes where the entire point is that he says the word "homo" in a sentence?

  30. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Wow! Creimer haven't posted all weekend and here you are making up shit to get his attention. Sad.

  31. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Which part is made up? The part where he used the word "homo" as the punchline of a joke, or the part where he impersonated a woman online?

  32. Sorry folks, creimer is busy with Comic Con! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Sorry folks, creimer is busy with Comic Con!

    creimer included keywords in his youtube videos. When creimer does a search for those keywords on YouTube, criemer's videos rank top notch!

    creimer is definitely going to get rich in April when creimer keyword event begins!

    Well, if creimer realize that YouTube's algorithm is much smarter than the slashdot's one, he will just do a double-take and POFL!

    LOL! That's funny!

    1. Re:Sorry folks, creimer is busy with Comic Con! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Wow creimer!

      I know that you only own fresh water tanks. You would be too dumb to read a copper test anyway.

      But seriously, who tough you that one? It is only known by a few members of my select salt water tank club...

      POFL = Puffing On Floor Laughing

      https://simple.wikipedia.org/w...

      Perfectly suited in your case!

      P.S. we have a puffer con in L.A. next May and we still have some room for affiliates...

    2. Re:Sorry folks, creimer is busy with Comic Con! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      creimer is already busy with too many affiliate link programs.

      creimer would accept the mascot position although if pay is more than 5$ an hour, which is much more than creimer does collecting second hand lottery tickets.

      creimer would save the puffer con with costume charge and creimer would look more like a puffer than this guy:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

  33. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "Wow! Creimer haven't posted all weekend"

    Oh no no, Chris, you totally didn't post on the weekend. We believe you, you overstuffed sack of sewer sludge.

  34. Puffer con in LA May 2018 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    creimer says he is going to post one comic con video every day in April but creimer lied to be a comic con affiliate and maybe win a t-shirt; By May, creimer will already have moved to his next get rich quick scheme!

    Proof: He always lies! He also said that he would publish books in January but he has moved to the comic con/youtube get rich quick scheme instead!

    1. Re:Puffer con in LA May 2018 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      LOL! That's very funny! POFL!

      Puffing On Floor Laughing

      https://simple.wikipedia.org/w...

  35. Re:Here's a weighty question... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I'll have to start watching creimer's socks. That shit is creimer gold.
    I can't tell you how many girls half my age come onto dying forums to argue with people on my behalf because I knew them back in the day.
    I wonder which lucky 20 year old google girl or social worker made such an impression on creimer to get remembered decades later.

  36. Excerpt by q4Fry · · Score: 1

    Alan Tudyk narrates the board room meeting where your idea is discussed:

    "And we will call the series 'Firefly Canon'"
    "I think we should call it 'Cash Grab'"
    "Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"
    "Ha ha ha. Mine is an evil laugh. Now BUY!"