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People Like Getting Thank You Notes, Research Finds (nytimes.com)
From a report: O.K., it's not that surprising. But what did surprise two psychologist as they attempted to get to bottom of why so few people actually send thank yous is that many people totally "miscalibrate" the effect of an appreciative email. They underestimate the positive feelings it will bring. "They think it's not going to be that big a deal," said Amit Kumar, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin who studies well-being. They also overestimate how insincere the note may appear and how uncomfortable it will make the recipient feel, their study found.
But after receiving thank-you notes and filling out questionnaires about how it felt to get them, many said they were "ecstatic," scoring the happiness rating at 4 of 5. The senders typically guessed they'd evoke a 3. To be clear -- the notes in question were not your typical "thanks for the Amazon gift card." Rather, the 100 or so participants in each of the four experiments were asked to write a short "gratitude letter" to a person who had affected them in some way. Sample letters included missives of appreciation to fellow students and friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and tough times. In lab experiments, Dr. Kumar observed that it took most subjects less than five minutes to write the letters. Further reading: Finding Emails With Certain Variation Of Thank You Vastly Improves Response Rate, Study Finds; and Apparently, People Say 'Thank You' To Self-Driving Pizza Delivery Vehicles.
But after receiving thank-you notes and filling out questionnaires about how it felt to get them, many said they were "ecstatic," scoring the happiness rating at 4 of 5. The senders typically guessed they'd evoke a 3. To be clear -- the notes in question were not your typical "thanks for the Amazon gift card." Rather, the 100 or so participants in each of the four experiments were asked to write a short "gratitude letter" to a person who had affected them in some way. Sample letters included missives of appreciation to fellow students and friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and tough times. In lab experiments, Dr. Kumar observed that it took most subjects less than five minutes to write the letters. Further reading: Finding Emails With Certain Variation Of Thank You Vastly Improves Response Rate, Study Finds; and Apparently, People Say 'Thank You' To Self-Driving Pizza Delivery Vehicles.
Someone needed to research this?
Make me wonder what the consensus is on the wet nature of water or being punched in the nose by a biker.
Another consultant who stuck it out.
"We are the Priests, of the Temples of Syrinx..."
Until you get conned enough times by people smiling and saying thank you.
Then it becomes... F U and kill'm all, you miserable excuses for a human being, selfindulgent sociopaths.
There is a bot for that.
appreciation to fellow students and friends who offered guidance through the college admissions process, job searches and tough times.
Context matters. These are important events as they are personal and the thank you note is unexpected, unlike the ritualistic thank you note after an exhaustive 200 person wedding party.
Thanks
I should use this sig to advertise my book ISBN-13 : 978-1501515132.
If you send me a thank you note devoid of any information, you are telling me that you are a fucking worthless piece of shit who values inane vacuous social bullshit over useful exchange of information. As such, you are a waste of my time, and you should fuck off and die.
Do not send me thank you notes, you stupid motherfucker.
https://lkml.org/lkml/2017/1/1...
I don't care how much money you have, if you aren't polite, you have NO class.
Bottom line : it costs nothing to be polite, but in some cases it can bring benefits that money cannot buy.
Anyone can be coarse and rude, but a bit of thought and good manners can make life easier and more pleasant for all concerned.
This used to be obvious, but real-world experience in recent years has shown me that for many people it is not obvious, and that is sad.
> Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers
> -- Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #39.
Also, apologies are free, yet so valuable.
Of course, to be valuable, praise should be sincere. One can find SOMETHING you appreciate about the other person.
For example, I can praise Obama's idealism, and Trump's directness - Trump doesn't say whatever opinion pills tell him to say. Obama says things *well*, even when I don't agree with the content of what he's saying.
I even appreciate it when someone takes the time to write me a Fuck You note.
for upvoting this "interesting" comment. I really do appreciate your upvote. Thank you so much!
But seriously who knew?
I wonder if old friends that you haven't seen in years and come up and give you a big hug might make you feel good too?
The shepherds did so well protecting the flock that the sheep no longer believed that wolves existed.
the secret stems in making sure to convey sincerity. It is all too easy to send insincere thank-you emails, that will elicit, if anything, a negative reaction. Just like those commercial letters that we all get every so often, which seem to be addressed specifically to us, to the exclusion of everybody else, but which, of course, aren't.
That's funny.
1. You're doing a great job. Keep it up
2. Thanks for all your hard work. Keep it up.
3. You're a rock star. Have a beer as a thank you for all you do.
.
.
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One day... YOU DID WHAT? DELETED OUR PRODUCTION DATABASE?
Yeah... I'm suspicious of thank you notes. They make that ton of bricks feel so much heavier when it falls on my head. It's like a mistake is a lot bigger when it's made by somebody perceived to be competent than if the same mistake were made by an idiot who was pretty much expected to do it when the planets aligned just right.
"Everybody's naked underneath" -- The Doctor
I find compulsive politeness annoying in people. This includes thank you notes for things that are a matter of course or didn't take much effort. Dealing with compulsively polite people always makes me feel guilty if I don't reciprocate with the same effusiveness. But on the other hand I can't bring myself to doing so because it feels stuffy and insincere. The result is that I tend to avoid polite people.
What we need is an AI that can automatically respond to emails with gushing amounts of thanks and apologies that incorporates some of the original messages so that the recipient can know that they are sincere.
(And then we will need another AI that can remove all sincerely sent thank yous from our in boxes.)
I seem to have a knack for making people uncomfortable so I avoid niceties beyond "please" and "thank you".
At work, when I cam asked to do something and I wrote back "done" I hate ot when people write "Thank you". To me that is a useless mail that I need to read to see if they have added anything else.
They wasted time writing it and I wasted time reading it.
It becomes tiresome when you get many per day.
Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
pretty much all code review guidelines discourage "thank you" messages.
I think they should all be changed to encourage thank you messages.
Me and my team are researching something similar.
We currently believe that people prefer "Great job, you stupid fuck!" over "WTF did you do? You stupid fuck!"
I hope you feel ecstatic!
http://www.acetonestudio.com
You bastard!