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Internet Addiction Quiz
joshv writes "Virtual Addiction.com has an online Internet addiction quiz to determine if you yourself are addicted. The survey is kept over here.
It appears that it does not give immediate results, your answers will only be included in their research. But from the questions that are asked you can get a good idea of what the researches think is addictive behavior writ the Internet. " I love being a case study. *grin*
Not only is my box connected 24x7, but I give my friends accounts on it, too, and have been known to sell space on it...
I'm not just an addict... I'm a dealer!
Besides, they cannot "prove" a link, this way. Statistics only works when you try to disprove something, as the tests are only valid for checking against the null hypothesis.
(In layman's terms, they can only give the probability of there NOT being a link between the two. Nothing more.)
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
In short, I don't know who this expert is, but I honestly question their expertese, either in asking questions or of addictive behaviour.
If you think you could be addicted to computers or the Internet, you're much better off going to the local bookshop and looking for anything by Bradshaw or Whitfield. Either that, or popping into an AA meeting and getting a Big Book. These aren't the Last Word on addictions, as there aren't any Last Words. But I guarantee these guys know a damn sight more than this pompous twit does.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Handheld Computers don't count. If they did, I would have added 2 more to my total.
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon?
-- Give him Head? Be a Beacon? :P)
(If you can't figure out how to E-Mail me, Don't.
and vee have determined that you need extensive therapy at $120/hr vith 2 sessions per veek for the first year, ya, dot should do it (read vith thick austrian Sigmund Freud accent).
It amazes me how these fads and trends go thru the psychiatric community - once upon a time it was 'repressed memory' and we had all kinds of people accusing family members of sexual harassment and launching court cases based on nothing more than some fantasy they have while under drugs, with the therapist, like a gypsy fortune teller, steering the patient/victim toward a preconceived prognosis.
I can't look at the word 'therapist' w/o seeing "The Rapist".
Anything to drum up business, I guess.
Chuck
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
in "Network Computing" magazine? "Oh baby, a rack of routers w/ the covers off, ohhhhh! Yeah!!!"
Chuck
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
You obviously aren't really a geek then. You don't deserve to be feasting your eyes on this website. Of course the Internet is Sexually arousing....
Why, just thinking of all that bandwidth makes me hot... all those, "Pipes" *shudder*, the "OC12", *yeah baby!* "Peering Points", *Ahhhh* "HYPERtext TRANSFER protocol", *Ooooohhhh* "Finger", *Give it to me baby* and who can forget, the "Serial Interface". *Mmmmmmmm*
Why, by insinuatiing that the Internet is NOT sexy you've just shown us all how much of a poser you really are! I wave my dongle in your general direction.
Ditto on pretty much everything you said. I don't think it's a bad thing though. You probably don't either.
Being that way is how people get smarter and get good, interesting, hopefully well paying jobs.
Vidi, Vici, Veni
I think a lot of this questionnaire is less to do with the Internet being addictive per se than to do with using the Internet to feed your (possibly pre-existing) addictions. And, that being the case, I think it`s missing the point. An addict is going to use whatever means are available to further their addiction; if not the Internet, then something else. The trouble is that when you mix up the two sets of people (those addicted to the net, and those using the net to further their addictions), you end up with skewed statistics.
1) Are you having sexual relations with the internet
:)
:)
:)
Umm... how would one go about that, exactly?
Would you use your computer? (sorry, mine only takes a 3.5" floppy
Or would you "interface" directly with the router (sounds painful to me
Ahh.. Humor... at 8:00 AM everything is funny
Until recently I was a rather normal guy. I went to work in the mornings, went out in the evenings, had a wife and two kids, and everything was just fine. ... and what if I will become one?".
...
... Oh gosh, it is going to be published today. Quick, do you have an internet connection somewhere? I must check it. I must!"
... you're my hero! So what are the latest numbers, do you know? How many ..."
Yes, I did surf the internet once in a while - nothing special. Only the light sites. I managed to avoid the highly addictive ones, like slashdot. Everything seems to be under control. Which is, as I later discovered, how most of us start. "It will not happen to me" - you think. Yeah, right. That what I thought.
And then, one day, I read in the paper something about internet addiction. "I'm not an addict", was my first defensive thought. But then another, disturbing thought, creeped into my mind: "But I do surf the net
I had to know more about internet addiction. To learn how to avoid it. So I started looking for information. I did not find much more about it in the papers, so I started searching the net. I've read page after page, and the more I've read, the more I wanted to know. Each day I was searching altavista again for "internet addicition", to find if there was any new information, fresh reaserch, a survey, a new support group. The more I heard stories, the more horrified I became. I thought about all those innocent hundreds of millions of people, surfing the net, not knowing what fate awaiting them. I had to warn them. I went to chat rooms, news groups, bulletin boards, and at each place I've warned anyone I just could about internet addiciton. In the meanwhile, I continued to look for more information. I no longer searched altavista alone. It is well known each search engine index only small part of the web. So I started using multi-search pages that search through lycos, excite, infoseek, GoTo, thunderstone, hotbot and opentext. I searched dejanews for new discussions on the subject, 5 times a day. I was visiting regularely 200 sites dealing with internet addiction each day to look directly for more information.
I became obsessed with it, spending each day 12-16 hours on the net, searching, reading and writing to people on the subject. I stopped sleeping regularely, I've missed work days. I neglected my wife and children. I got fired from work. My wife left me. My kids would not speak to me. And then I realized I am in deep trouble.
So I went to the nearest rehabilitation center. "What do you know about internet addiction disorder?" Dr. Strausse asked me at the first interview. Hearing this question made me shake with excitement. The dopamine level in my brain reached new hights. I spilled facts and numbers. Quoted reaserches and surveys. Told him real life stories about internet addicts, until he stopped me.
"Sorry", he said, "I am afraid I can't help you. You are a lost case. You long crossed the point of no return".
"But there is more", I told him. "Don't you want to listen?" I begged, "I know more"
He had to send for the nurse to drag me out of his office, while I was begging to tell him more about the dangers of internet addiction. "But wait, there is this new survey which is about to be published
The nurse pushed me into the cab, with explicit instruction to take me straight home. "Stop!" I shouted as I spotted an internet cafe on the way. "I want to get down here!".
Few days later they found me unconscious, my shirt all dirty from stains of coffee and pizza, my head lying on the keyboard. When I woke up, I found myself tied to an hospital bad. "What am I doing here?" I asked. "And why can't I move my arms?"
"Relax", told me an authorative voice. "I'm prof. Uffliner. I came here as soon as I could. Dr. Strausse think I'm the only one that can help you". "prof. Uffliner!" I was totally excited. "I'm your greatest fan! I've read all about your work
"I'm sorry", he said. "I am afraid I can't let you get exposed to any additional information right now".
Yes, I knew all about prof. Uffliner's methods. Total deprivation of any on-line connection. Isolation from the net, for as long as it takes until I'm rehabilitated. Its a torture! I didn't know if I could take it. I felt as if my whole body was on fire. I asked for it. I begged for it. My face twisted and I had foam at the mouth. "just one minute to check deja-news!" I begged. They just ignored me.
Those where the longest and most horrible three months of my life. At the end of those three months they untied me.My wife came for me. "I've heard all you've been through", she said. "they say there is a chance you may get back to normal, but you need a year of total isolation from everything that have anything that talks about the net. No newspapers. No TV no radio. I just know what we need! We'll go to my father's summer-house in the mountains. It will be a great opportunity to rebuild out relationship! Just like a very long second honeymoon!" She said with excitement.
Well, thats about it. I'm still in a support group, and from time to time I have this urge to go back to the keyboard, but I manage to resist it. My wife and kids are very supportive. They really help. So that's my story.
But be warned. Not all are as lucky as I've been.
I guess Jeff Foxworthy could (finally) update his act: "If you take online quizzes, you might be an internet addict."
Personally, I thought that was rather nice, Americans wanting to hear what I thought the Internet had done to their society.
- Greater acknowledgement of inherent intellectual inferiority
- Ain't not as many double negatives
- Learning to eat with a knife and fork (that must be pure wishful thinking...)
The problem I've got with this little test and with the rest of the site is that it focuses on netsex and chatting with strangers.
That's not MY problem, though I admit I seem addicted. I'm NOT a net-junkie as such though, I'm an info-junkie, and to a certain extent a debate-junkie who actually enjoys a good argument. (I'm beginning to suspect that I'm a Myers-Briggs ENTP after all, not ENFP
As I am unfortunately doing now, I will spend excessive time on the 'net or doing similar things other than focusing on my work when I'm stuck doing something boring and repetitive. If I'm doing something that requires brain cells, I'm fine, but if it's the copy-paste-reformat that I have to do right now I get bored silly. At one of my old, non-net-connected jobs, I used to spend a lot of time reading anything hanging out there that looked the least bit interesting.
Unfortunately, the test doesn't seem to have much in the way of useful advice for folks like me (and I know I'm not the only one). I don't care about porn sites, but cut me away from my Slashdot connection or the SCA web pages I frequent
"Somebody exploded a letter-bomb today
Respond with your answers below. You will get a reply from a qualified Anonymous Coward commenting on your psychological status.
1) Do you have a Shift Key? (Yes/No)
2) Do you have more than 1 shift key? (Yes/No)
3) How long have you been using the Shift Key?
__ Years.
3) What do you use the Shift Key for?
a) Entertainment
b) Resumes
c) Quake configs
d) Porn
e) Laziness
4) Do you hate the Caps lock key?
(Yes/No)
5) Did you purchase any product on the Internet using the shift key? (Yes/No)
6) Do you have a shift key at work? (Yes/No)
7) Have you ever used the shift key out of curiousity or to see what happened? (Yes/No)
8) Do you find yourself hitting the shift key for no reason? (Yes/No)
9) Do you find the shift key sexually arousing? (Yes/No)
10) Have you lied to anyone about using the shift key? (Yes/No)
11) Do you find the shift key to be:
a) A way to escape people or other keys
b) A way to escape Quake enemies or other keys
c) A tool for spiritual growth
d) A way to get sexual pleasure
e) A way to improve your financial status or the status of your caps lock key.
12) Should the govt. regulate your use of the Shift key?
13) How many times have you used the shift key in answering online surveys
a) 0-3
b) 4-9
c) 10-99
d) hundreds and hundreds of times, practically millions
14) Have you felt anger, loathing, or disgust at certain keys on your keyboard? (If you say yes, your keyboard may self-destruct).
(Yes/No).
15) Did you DELIBERATELY press the shift key at any time during this survey? (You pervert!)
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L.
I'm not addicted... I just can't live without it ;-)
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