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Jesux is a Bad Pun
Lots and lots of Slashdot readers have either sent in this ZDNet article or a direct link to the Jesux homepage." It's a hoax, folks. Think: if you were a Christian believer, would you name your Linux distribution something so close to "Jesus Sucks?" The concept isn't even original; variations on this theme have been floating around the Net for years because of Unix and its "kills" and "aborts" and "daemons."
...that the Eunux system for harem and whorehouse management is a hoax, too.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
There is a reference on the Jesux homepage to emails received from slashdotters, claiming definitively in response that it is NOT a hoax.
I think their intent to change the names of system calls such as 'abort' pretty much singles this out as a hoax.
-josh
I changed it to "years." But yes, the Internet had its 30th birthday a few weeks ago. I first logged on to a DARPAnet terminal in 1972. And even then there were jokes about how some Unix commands were anti-Christian.
Designed for penetration! Lightning fast mounts! Cracking supporting with the hhway module! Uses finger as an antering wedge -- you think it's finger, but it's not!
...
I have been at work too long
Among other things, the GPL specificially prohibits placing additional limitations via sublicenses, so requiring, say, quotes from Scripture is all out. At least that's from a quickie reading (IANAL...).
If anything, it might be a parody put forth -- a crude dual joke on both those who actually care about or respect religion, and reporters who don't check out the facts.
Only the dead have seen the end of war.
Kill referenced in every man page.
Killall referenced in every man page.
Random thread kills. Threads scream in pain when killed.
Suicide replaces old shutdown command.
Anal probe replaces ping.
All threads given daemon privaleges.
Sporadically downloads and plays Marilyn Manson mp3's.
CD-ROM drive spins backwards.
Pornographic links hardcoded into Lynx, the only true fundamentalist browser.
Software written by heterosexuals or women will only be permitted if they are sent email informing them of their transgressions against pleasure. Mastrubration is a form of pennance.
Ok, we're all satisfied. I'm going to hell. No doubt about it. But I bed a DAMNED someone out there got a chuckle out of this parody! Extremism with extremism never works, the exception being when one extreme is humour.
The good thing about Linux is that there is interest in the Christian community in using and evangelizing it to their followers. Here's an article in Christian Computing magazine. I suppose they may even discuss this Jesux issue at some future time. And, may be we'll get their take on this matter--is it hoax or is it fact?
I personally don't see the need for a Christian Linux distribution. I have always felt uneasy about that daemon looking BSD mascot. So, the sooner that's replaced with something else, the better!
1) The obligatory licencing quip:
Isn't in violation of the GPL to release Red Hat's distro, with changes, under this new license?
2) The obligatory cluster comment:
Man, those would make a fine Beowolf cluster
Amen
A friend of a friend saw that Jesux page and created the Lucix distro. Same stupid puns, just from the complete other side of the religious viewpoint :)
-mike kania
Hoax? As I wrote in the article, I wasn't sure. I'm still not. I've been given 'proofs' that it's a hoax, but none of them stand up.
This guy lists his occupation as "Cyber Cynic".
I feel really stupid for this, but... can someone please explain the humor in chmod accepting hex modes? I just don't get it, and that's frustrating me. Maybe I'll find some caffeine and think about it again.
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
I think I'll recommend that as a cost-cutting measure at the next company meeting. ``Say boss, I think that outsourcing our company's web page is not cost-effective. Look at all those places where you can get a web page for free!''
Here comes that promotion!
My Freakin Blog
And is it sin to view porn on the internet? Is that akin to adultery for those who are married? And is saying His name in vain into xterm wrong? what if you said it in a shell script with an infinite loop?
Is worshipping RMS^H^H^HUnix against the First Commandment?
I am mostly serious about this. I have never thought that religion and computers have anything to do with each other. But you never know. Anyone know of a way to sin using a computer?
Whatever the answer, the Ten Commandments are long overdue for a revision.
Note: I am not trying to be sacro-religious either. I don't mean to offend anyone, it is just my curiousity gets the best of me.
--
So you think you can handle Penix? Ok, big guy - I will call your bluff. I will give you control :-)
of penix.com, and you create the web site and distribution. It's up to you, but I suggest:
"Loosely based on the BFD distribution",
"Comes with the book 'Penix Unzipped'",
"Available as an embedded system",
Including utilities like: finger, head, man,
mount, tail, touch, and uptime.
Supports frontpage, hard links, ports, and sockets, of course.
Well you asked for it - get to work
A dingo ate my sig...
then why don't I see any names etc of the (dist) creators on the jesux page?
Due out any minute now. Be ready!
:)
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Looks like it didn't take long for somebody to claim the domain name. The homepage is last updated on the 24th September 1999. This domain was registered on 24th September 1999 by, believe or not:
:-)
Satan's Minions (JESUX2-DOM)
330 Washington Blvd Suite 602
Marina Del Rey, CA 90292
US
I am gonna lookup for lucifux and penix next. If you guys have nothing better to do, I suggest you sign up these domain names fast!
Hasdi
kernel periodically sends GOSPEL messages, which appear on all ttys by default
alias burn-at-stake='rpm -e --force --nodeps'
functions of root now split into 3 accounts
Biblical quotes in /etc/issue, /etc/issue.net, /etc/motd, and similar places
xearth replaced by xheaven and xhell
random numbers a a form of gambling, so /dev/random and /dev/urandom are symlinked to /dev/zero
CGAN -- Christian Gospel Anti-heretic Network
serpents are sinful; python will not ship default with distribution, neither will anaconda be used as the installer
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
Its a hoax for one simple reason - it has a license thats incompatible with the GPL. You can rerelease linux as a BSD style program, so they cant release it anyway. OF course you cant host 600+megs of linux on a 10 meg geocities account either.
What can one say about a Linux distribution whose home page is on Yahoo?
Does anything even need to be said?
When I refer to a micro-distribution, I mean one of the many little "distributions" floating around that are really just a set of patches to a major (macro?) distribution. These micro-distros generally serve to make an existing distro more useful to a particular group of people: for example, the blind, Russians, Christians, Windows refugees, etc. What's wrong with that? Isn't Linux all about having choices? If there's demand for a particular (serious) micro-distro, then let it be. Not every distro aims at every user.
Disclaimer for the humor-impaired: the hoax in question is not what I consider a serious micro-distro. But it's the idea that counts here.
Bah, I really need a sense of humor.
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
It's funny. If you haven't seen it yet, take a look.
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
Yeah esp. with that autistic donatello, always keeping to himself(Donnatello loves machines) fux0ring some machine, he must be gay, he never helped kick shredders ass either, he just screwed with machines, what a geeky turtle.
Shine on, you crazy diamond.
I am really curious about this now...bad hoaxs aside. How many Christian Hackers are really out there? The person who introduced me to Linux was a Christian and since then several of (almost half) the Linux users I've come into contact with have been Christians...as agents of Love and Truth in the world shouldn't we (Christians) be sharing with others and fostering the freedom of information anyway? I've always felt that Open Source and Christianity easily went hand in hand but many posts here are just batting around the stereotyped picture of (fake) christianity. Those who understand Christ's message should be aware of this; Christianity is about Love, truth, and freedom. (these at the very least)
hmm...I wonder if ChristianHackers.org is registered yet? (yikes! It IS registered!!!)
I'm sure they'll get around to these, in addition to the other revisions they mentioned:
/usr/X11R6/bin/Xmas).
/etc/HEAVENLYHOSTNAME.
fsck(8) -- becomes know(8), as in the biblical sense: "And the user did know(8) his partition, and thus begat lost+found."
gcc(1) -- becomes jhc(1). "JHC, how much longer is this compile going to take?!?!" (Must be asked sincerely to avoid blasphemy.)
more(1) -- wholly (pardon the pun) replaced with less(1), the opposite of more, because it is selfish to want more.
true(1) -- can only return a value of 0.
expect -- replaced with "prophesize", a lesser known subset of tcl.
C++ programs are now said to be abject-oriented, as they will only compile and run after sufficient subjugation and hours of blood-soaked sweat inducing prayer (which is not entirely unique to this distribution).
Christmas -- is always referred to as Xmas (see
guile -- is an immoral trait, and thus is removed from the distribution.
help -- available to all unsaved souls who ask. See also: save, gideon.
nice(1) -- applied to all user functions, because Jesux brothers should all be nice to one another.
/etc/HOSTNAME -- renamed to
MySQL(1) -- is now HisSQL(1), because after all, He created it, and all of us who use it, and it is His. Sinners on the system are relegated to TransGresSQL, PostGres' replacement.
nslookup(8) -- replaced with nsbowyourheads(8).
and finally...
root -- becomes God, obviously. "God, root, what is difference?" -- Pitr 0:0
Whether these were funny or not, I blame it all on the Mountain Dew.
--
I mean, after all, why not bundle these things together? Is there any such service already existing for Linux? I'm sure there is for WinX if not for the Mac. While I personally wouldn't be using it, I'd be thrilled if something vaguely along these lines marketed itself as a service to the more (small o) orthodox Christians who might be considering Linux. I mean, like it or not, Christians of strong faith make up a huge percentage of the US population; we have the largest number of Sunday-church-attenders per capita in the world.
So basically, I guess I'm just saying, don't automatically assume it's a hoax. Is it so stunning that a geek could be Christian? I mean, really. And the same people who would find the above services useful are perfectly capable of being amused by chmod's extra functionality, or the occasional amusing extra link to kill---I remember in my early UNIX-using days getting the biggest kick out of setting up funny symlinks. Christians can have a sense of humour, too. :)
Oh, and as for the CSPL: why not? They won't be relicensing old code, just new code; and they would just be taking advantage of the same viral properties as the GPL folks are (though to different ends).
Final note: nothing in the entire feature list indicated that there would be any features disabled. The extra features of the distribution could be used or not used according to the wishes of the owner. They wouldn't even remove hardly anything---just a couple games, which of course could be re-downloaded if desired. A hoax this may well be, but it is neither obvious nor provable from the information they've given on the website.
``This, too, shall pass.'' ---Eastern proverb
This could be a new section (with dunce cap icon) of links to media articles whose authors show a severe lack of clue. (The purpose of making it a section would be so that people could cross it out of their preferences. Not everyone wants to read all about how Jesse Berst needs another harshing.)
/. Karma, maybe).
What this would accomplish would be to institutionalize the capacity of Slashdot to review and respond to mainstream media articles, in a way that does not involve floods of email flames toward the Dunce Cap candidate.
The reason I am advocating this is shown well by
this Forbes story. This can harness Slashdot's vitriol to good use: whipping the media into shape. There could be a poll with every story (weighted by
Allright, enough punting. Back to work.
hierarchical file system... maybe easy to set up...
/etc/passwd, they can't read it.
Two lines of kernel code per file system. And that's with the patch done "right" (e.g., having root-like powers over your children's files don't give you similar privileges over your spouse's files.)
I don't think this particular patch is useful, but it gave me ideas for an unusually crippled UID that can only read its own files - it can't even read 0777 files that it doesn't own. This might be useful for network daemons - even if you trick them into sending
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. -- H L Mencken
No encryption provided; Christians have nothing to hide.
I don't know, personally most Christians in the know I've meet supported encryption. Though mainly because they get a kick out of overthrowing governments (can't blame them) and encyption is a powerful tool in this effort.
Check it out. Their are lots of us Christian geeks out there.
Don't be alarmed - Jesus warned that the world would hate us and Paul told us to consider it pure joy when we are persecuted for our faith. Satan has a lot of people here by the you-know-what...
Are you telling me that people in Texas have never heard of the Arizona State University Sun Devils?
"Perhaps most amazingly, votaries of 'diversity' insist on absolute conformity." -- Tony Snow
Debian is already the Universal OS. Whatever that means, I'm sure it would please Taoists (get your Zen and Tao straight, BTW).
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
I wish I could be sure this is a hoax. Sadly, it looks to me like just the kind of silliness that many Christians waste their time on. I'm not going to get into the (really divisive) issues behind this. I feel an incredible sadness for this topic having come up in this forum in this way.
Instead, I would like to talk about what Christianity really is. Maybe its off-topic, maybe not. In any case, I will post it and the moderators can do their thing. I will not come back to reply to this thread to comment further -- I have no interest in doing so. If you have questions, email me. Flames will go silently to
At its most basic level, Christianity is the outgrowth of Judaism. Judaism, based in the Old Testament, has a very clear and radically monotheistic understanding of God. The God of the Old Testament has rigourous moral standards: the Ten Commandments are chief of these. However, all these moral standards can be summed up in his demand that we "Love God with all our hearts" (Deuteronomy something). Throughout the Old Testament, God continues to reveal himself to the Israelites, and we learn a few things about him:
As the Old Testament progresses, a tradition develops that a Messiah will come, who will take the form of a "suffering servant". See Isaiah 53.
I, and all other Christians, believe that this suffering servant was Jesus Christ. In a way that is clearly mysterious, Jesus was God taken human form (John 1). He lived a very distinctive life -- throughout his life, he upheld very high moral standards. And hung around with Drunks, Prostitutes, Tax Collectors and anyone else who loved him. These people loved him because, although he was a righteous Jew, he loved them. He refused the social standards of his time that called for him to separate himself from those who were not Righteous jews as he was. See the woman at the well in John 4 for a good picture of this.
Jesus was killed for challenging the religious authorities of his day. If you will, he was executed for telling Jim Baker how wrong "prosperity theology" really was. On the third day, Jesus rose from the grave and appeared to hundreds of witnesses on many occasions. Despite substantial opposition to the Christian movement from the earliest days (Read Acts sometime) no one seriously questioned the Resurrection until the third century AD -- and then, as now, they criticized on the shaky assumption that such a thing
The Bible teaches that Jesus' execution and resurrection bought us a unique privilege: that of being forgiven all our sins, past, present, and future and having our sinful natures (that thing which leads us to Sin) replaced with the power of Jesus. This incarnation of Jesus in us gives us the ability not to Sin. Before Jesus, we did not have even the ability not to Sin. Now, we can avoid sin although it is still hard. How this works is a mystery. When I die and meet Jesus, I plan to ask for an explanation in simple pictures and diagrams.
Why do I believe this? Because just over 4 years ago, before accepting Christ. I was a broken man. I had explored every world religious system, and had discovered that I (like all of you: don't get self-righteous on me) could not be truly "enlightened" of my own accord. I was extremely active in Eastern religions for years -- I did all the meditation, all the reading, all the study. And yet I was empty and failed being suicidal only by shear stubborness.
And then, through a series of encounters with some wonderful Christians, I accepted that I could not do it myself and asked Jesus Christ to come into my life. Immediately after this, I went home, shook my head, and muttered something to the effect of "Pat, this had to take the cake. You have now become a Bible thumper. Maybe if you don't do anything about it you'll get out of it". That's right: I didn't start going to church. I didn't even buy a Bible. I started trying to spend more time in my then current philosophy du jour (Taoism) because obviously I had flipped my lid. Incidentally, I started the definitive Taoism page on the net in like 1994. It's still out there somewhere under different management. I'm not making this up and you can verify it if you so choose.
But God had me and wasn't letting me go. First, he started straightening out my life. Then, slowly, over a period of months, he overcame my intellectual resistance to Christianity -- largely through the works of C.S. Lewis. Finally, about 4 or 5 months after accepting Christ, I reached a turning point and went to the local Christian Book Store and bought a Bible. Walking into that store was the hardest thing I ever did -- I was afraid that someone would see me and KNOW that I was a bible-thumper.
Once I got a Bible, I started reading the New Testament and have never looked back. As hokey as this sounds, I LOVE JESUS! And I know that he loves me. How? Because He, when I was still a sinner and hated him, died on a cross to save me from my sin. You don't have to believe this, but that doesn't keep it from being true.
Since that time, my life has been nothing but uphill. I enjoyed blessings in every area of my life. I have gone from being almost literally impoverished (making $4.35/hr) to a six figure income. I have gone from being lonely and horny, trying to find love wherever I could (as a classic nerd), to a beautiful wife and a wonderful 2 year old son who is smart as hell and meaner than a rattlesnake. I have gone from a fear of society -- a certainty that I was entirely alone born in my stereo-typical geek childhood including physical and sexual abuse -- to enjoying the wonderful blessings of a church family that loves me no matter how often I screw up. I have even watched God extend salvation into my family, slowly overcoming their intellectualism and unfaith and rebuilding my family to something it never could be before.
In short, I have see how just allowing Jesus into my life has totally changed it, and I would not change back for anything. Many of you are fond of Galileo as an example to frame your anti-Christian sentiments. At the end of his trial, there is a legend that he said, under his breath, "It still moves!". Well, despite your derision, despite your pseudo-intellectual bullschnit, despite all your arguments, I say that Jesus
-- Slashdot sucks.
If it is real, then it should be taken seriously. However, if it is real, there is something seriously wrong with their Christianity.
I forget which one, but they said they were dropping a program because it was written by a homosexual. Okay, let's rephrase that: a disbelieving sinner. That doesn't stop a Christian. If you're using Linux anyhow, you're probably buying your memory from Japan--very likely built by disbelieving sinners. We use Arabic numerals, for the love of sanity!
Something I see a lot of in Christianity are people seeing who can out-Bible-thump the other. Not only is this the height of arrogance ("I am so much humbler than you!"), but it causes you to stop thinking and start reacting in a counterproductive McCarthyism mode. God gave us brains, he expects us to use them.
--The basis of all love is respect
Folks, you're all saying it's a hoax, but you know what, I still don't see the proof. No one is standing up and saying "We tricked em!" Saying, "Of course, it's a hoax because of licensing, it's been talked about for years, etc." isn;t enough.
As for cluelessness and the like, hey, I said up front that it might be a hoax.
Is is a hoax? I've spent more time digging away at it and I can't prove it. Annoyingly, I'm finding more circumstanial proof that it is real. Nothing positive yet, but it's what I'm finding.
If anyone knows what's real here, I really want to know. If it does turn out to be a hoax, of course I'll report it. There's no mistake to correct, there is a story that needs a better ending. If anyone out there can help me ferret out the truth I'd welcome the help and give the credit where it's due. If you know my work at all, you know I call them like I see them.
Steven, Senior Technology Editor, Sm@rt Reseller
sjvn@zd.com
No matter, should a problem arise, I'm sure he can always call on the almighty to get the system up and running again.
Stupid people will be persecuted to the fullest extent allowed by law.
Mmmm, I have to take exception to this because the computer is no more special than any other human invention.
:) )
If we hypothetise that God would not look down on what we do with computers, we would have to make the same allowance for all of our other inventions. Guns, drugs, nuclear bombs, electric chairs, gas chambers, crowd-sized ovens, etc...
Killing is killing, lying is lying. The means itself has little moral content. What you do with it matters, what you do it with matters little.
I'm not particularly religious, in fact, I believe on the basis of Pascal's Gambit more than for any other reason. But, we have to remember that the computer is a tool. Nothing more.
No belief system in the world, be it Judeo-Christian Commandments or the Gita, or the Quoran, exempts technology as a means of deviation from 'acceptable' behavior. To do so would be to open up a can of worms the size of creation itself. Simple machines (i.e. pitfalls) would be allowable as modes of killing, and not frowned upon morally, because they would be the works of man. Crimes would only be crimes if committed with bare hands. Children would be exempted from moral behavior as creations of their parents...
Messy. Morality of an act is defined by the act, not the means by which it is performed. The intention is more significant than the medium in which it is performed.
(Wow, parochial school was useful for something after all.
-- What you do today will cost you a day of your life.
I read it in like 7th grade. I do remeber that Tuxowolf link, which I found hilarious (I lost the link, search would work). I remember thinkning how neat it was, but sounded like grunting to me..
+&x