Posted by
CmdrTaco
on from the you-gotta-read-this dept.
NullGrey writes "Salon.com has a hilarious article that is supposedly a letter to George Lucas by a young actor who would like to play Anakin in SW2. " This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time (or maybe its just because my fever broke and I'm in a great mood)
In my dreams I obtain an early bootleg copy of the next Star Wars. Because the movie is going to be over 90% digitally-rendered, I am able to "edit" a few scenes.
As soon as Jar Jar steps out for his first scene and starts uttering "Meesa Jar Jar...", a meteorite comes crashing down on his bloated, snot-green head. From that point on, his presence and voice will be completely edited and brushed away. Yeah, it will be a little weird when anakin or someone utters, "That Jar Jar, he sure is a rascal" while staring off into empty space... but hey, it is the memory right!?
I then ditribute this copy without ever getting caught. Who wants one?
The perfect candidate
by
Mr.+Protocol
·
· Score: 5
Has anybody ever notice how the nerds in Star Wars are like nerds everywhere else, but the computer stuff is all different? I don't mean just more advanced, I mean different. We're good at tracking trends in the industry, but we're terrible at predicting sea changes. Who knew IBM was going to crash?
We're in the middle of doing it again, it seems. Microsoft is being pulled down. Linux is in a good position to change it, but who knows how it'll fall out, specifically? IBM turns into General Electric, Microsoft crashes like IBM, and Red Hat turns into Redmond Hat? Could be, could be.
So let's take a look. We need someone emblematic of that sort of Brave New World to play 19-year-old Anakin. He's got to be youthful, presentable, dynamic, fiercely intelligent, someone people will sit up and pay attention to.
I nominate Linus Torvalds.
Here are his qualifications:
1) He's well-spoken. Sure, he has a slight accent. But Anakin's mother had an accent. The actress was very worried about this but Lucas told her not to worry: "You're from the European part of the planet."
2) He's from Finland. Anybody seen Finland? He qualifies for work on the ice planet Hoth better than anybody else I can think of.
3) He could fix R2D2.
4) He could out-talk C3PO.
5) If anybody's been tempted by circumstance to go Darth Vader, it's him. ""
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In my dreams I obtain an early bootleg copy of the next Star Wars. Because the movie is going to be over 90% digitally-rendered, I am able to "edit" a few scenes.
As soon as Jar Jar steps out for his first scene and starts uttering "Meesa Jar Jar...", a meteorite comes crashing down on his bloated, snot-green head. From that point on, his presence and voice will be completely edited and brushed away. Yeah, it will be a little weird when anakin or someone utters, "That Jar Jar, he sure is a rascal" while staring off into empty space... but hey, it is the memory right!?
I then ditribute this copy without ever getting caught. Who wants one?
Has anybody ever notice how the nerds in Star Wars are like nerds everywhere else, but the computer stuff is all different? I don't mean just more advanced, I mean different. We're good at tracking trends in the industry, but we're terrible at predicting sea changes. Who knew IBM was going to crash?
We're in the middle of doing it again, it seems. Microsoft is being pulled down. Linux is in a good position to change it, but who knows how it'll fall out, specifically? IBM turns into General Electric, Microsoft crashes like IBM, and Red Hat turns into Redmond Hat? Could be, could be.
So let's take a look. We need someone emblematic of that sort of Brave New World to play 19-year-old Anakin. He's got to be youthful, presentable, dynamic, fiercely intelligent, someone people will sit up and pay attention to.
I nominate Linus Torvalds.
Here are his qualifications:
1) He's well-spoken. Sure, he has a slight accent. But Anakin's mother had an accent. The actress was very worried about this but Lucas told her not to worry: "You're from the European part of the planet."
2) He's from Finland. Anybody seen Finland? He qualifies for work on the ice planet Hoth better than anybody else I can think of.
3) He could fix R2D2.
4) He could out-talk C3PO.
5) If anybody's been tempted by circumstance to go Darth Vader, it's him. ""