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The Physics of Christmas
Well, with Christmas just around the corner, I'd like to thank Joe Mahoney for sending us a review of Can Reindeer Fly - The Science of Christmas, known in the States as The Physics of Christmas: From the Aerodynamics of Reindeer to the
Thermodynamics of Turkey. It's an amusing little piece - and just in time for holiday shopping, I offer this blatant plug: Jon Katz' new book Geeks is ready for pre-order at ThinkGeek. It's really good, even though it's dedicated to two bozos who run this site. *grin*
Can Reindeer Fly - The Science of Christmas
author
Roger Highfield
pages
294
publisher
Metro Books, 11/1998
rating
8/10
reviewer
Joe Mahoney
ISBN
0316366110
summary
A fascinating discussion of the mechanics of Christmas magic
The Scenario Can Reindeer Fly is a book about the
culture, science, technologies and traditions that contribute to the
Christmas season. Dr Highfield is a respected author and scientist who
has written a well researched book that will appeal to a wide variety of
people.
What's Good? If you liked the various 'Science of Star Trek' books and websites, you will probably enjoy this book. Dr Highfield covers almost every area of modern day science - from genetics to quantum theory to dieting to explain or theorize about many of the different aspects of Christmas. Christmas in different cultures is discussed too, with chapters on food and gift giving around the world. I really enjoyed Dr Highfield's approach. Rather than trying to disprove theories and legends, he tries to use every scientific tool available to see if something could be done - this is especially true in a chapter on the virgin birth of Jesus. Unfortunatley, Dr Highfield wasn't able to conclude that Santa Claus employs warp powered reindeer to boot it round the earth on Christmas eve :- What's Bad? This probably isn't an issue for most slashdot readers, but I found there was a definite Northern Hemisphere bias. Several chapters take it for granted that Christmas will be celebrated in the middle of Winter. Where I live, Dec 25 is usually a hot summer day and rather than building a snowman after a huge turky dinner, I am more likely to lie in the sun after a huge BBQ. It's not a big issue and it doesn't really detract from the text in any way.
So What's In It For Me? ThereÕs really something for everyone in 'Can Reindeer Fly'. If you want to know about the origins of the Christmas tree and other traditions there are several chapters to keep you happy. Interested in astronomy? A chapter on the Bethlehem star is what you're after. Science geeks will be interested in chapters on Snow and the tech involved to get a sleigh to travel to the hopes of every good little boy and girl. Dieticians will be interested in the chapter on Santa's diet and genetics.
Purchase this boook at fatbrain.
Table of Contents- Acknowledgements
- Introduction: Christmas and the Scientist
- 1. The Bethlehem Star
- 2. Miracle
- 3. Santa and Those Reindeer
- 4. Gluttony; Santa's Genetics
- 5. The flame and the Tree
- 6. Giving and Shopping
- 7. Snow
- 8. Festive Fare
- 9. Christmas Spirit
- 10. Christmas Blues and Seasonal Moods
- 11. Santa's Science
- 12 Christmas 2020
- Appendix The Formula for Christmas Day
- Glossary
- Bibliography
- Index
Actually, I believe very strongly in p*ssy.
I don't know....with Katz you never know what's fiction and what isn't. Remember the fictitious 'The dog ate my Linux box' story he started (but never finished way back when?)
and the jews hated their own messiah
This may be in the wrong spirit - but one plausible theory is that someone mistranslated the prophacy, changing the Hebrew word for "young woman" to the Greek word for "Virgin" and, viola, instant MIRACLE! Boojum on remote assignment on the boss's laptop
> Don't you mean Channukah Harry?
I'm pretty sure it was Sam (from some old SNL gag)
Aren't they those two wacky Canadian guys from South Park? Kewl!
YES!! that would rule!! I have always been flabbergasted at how many geeks are into James Randi, he's not mentioned a lot but if you mention him on a mailing list or something everyone is like "he rules!". That would be amazingly awesome, for sure he needs a slashdot interview.
All he has to do is keep going back in time. He distributes all the gifts he can on Christmas Eve, then in the morning he hops in his time machine and goes back twelve hours or so. From his perspective, every Christmas he simply spends years and years distributing gifts (and trying to avoid copies of himself), while from anyone else's perspective there are a large number of Santas all over. This even explains how he can show up at all those department stores, and why he doesn't always look quite the same--you're seeing him at different ages.
If he's using quantum mechanics, he can forge anyone's signature with the Shor algorithm. (Assuming they're using RSA that is.)
No the jews hated YOUR messiah and are still wating for the REAL messiah.
What about Kwanza?
Us Black/African-Americans (Or whatever the correct PC Term is now) Feel left out, We want in too!
Christmas isn't Christian, Its Pagan!
All this C**P is just a spin off from American Culture where you can get Sued for a "Your Momma" joke
THis is the same Culture that brings us "Geek-Profiling" of high-school Kids.
Who gives a shit if The guy next door has a menorah?
You never know, His kid might be an Intelligent Doom player who will kill you
Who Gives a shit??
Happy Christmas!
Umm, yes. the guess in paragraph number two is correct. Getting a life is a good idea too. Of course, if I could remember where I misplaced mine, it would help....
I'd give you all a review, as my copy of Geeks has been at my house for about three days. Only thing is, I'm not at my house (back to my homeland for the christmas season, Michigan ;).
Quit whining and get in the lab and figure out the science. Let us know when you've written your book.
That explains all the Santa's at the malls.... none of them really seem that "alive" anyway!
Yeah, OK, it's a nice joke, but it's anecdotal at best. One thing is 100% sure: if there is a God, it sure isn't the Xian God. There are just a bit too many inconsistencies in the Bible (hey, the world is flat and it was created 10,000 years ago) to take it seriously. Anyway, if there is a God he/she/it sure doesn't care. The miseries of this planet (Rwanda, Auschwitz, Kosovo, etc.) are ample proof. Kurt Vonnegut once said "if there is a God, he must be an underachiever". I'm sure an "almighty" God could have done a better job at creating a perfect world than this...
We DO think for ourselves. Xmas is good for presents, the rest IS a steaming pile of pants, as my predecessor nicely put it. Ever since Man came out of a cace he's been plagued by a belief in deities. Fortunately science is slowly but surely explaining everything out ancestors feared enough to create the myth of God to account for it. You probably also don't believe in evolution, do you? The place to be: http://www.infidels.org
... you always talk! Always saying 'Furthermore' and 'Let me just say'!
Well, you're DEAD now, so SHUT UP!!
G. Death, Reaper
it was kinda amusing the first time I saw it on slashdot.
Every year I celebrate my birthday. I never have anyone complain how I have excluded them. Why? It is my celebration. So, why does Christmas get such crap. I don't even believe in God or Jesus. I probably would celebrate Hanukkah but, Chrismas is more bang for my buck. Plus, most Jews I know celebrate both. Why does everyone in this country have to be a victim? Everyone talks about celebrating diversity but, everyone gets so uptight about it. How can you be diverse if you expect everyone to conform to you. You are a wuss.
That is why Santa's helpers(The parents of the child(ren)) distribute the gifts for him.
I read this book when it first hit the shelves and it had the most marvelous binding where hidden in the front cover is an led that will light when you 'press here' thus lighting up rudolphs' nose. There is a really nice cover on the paperback edition but sadly, the led isn't included :)
The book is delightful and still leaves a bit of room for the 'magic' in Christmas.
the physics of natalie portman
the scenario
can natalie "do it" is a book about the culture, science, technologies and traditions that contribute to natalie portman's being. dr. coward is a respected author and slashdot troll who has written a well researched book that will appeal to a wide variety of nataliphiles.
what's good?
if you liked the various 'hot teen action' websites, you will probably enjoy this book. dr. coward covers almost every area of modern day natalie portman - from genetics to quantum theory to dieting to explain or theorize about many of the different aspects of natalie. natalie in different cultures is discussed too, with chapters on food and gift giving around the world. i really enjoyed dr. coward's approach. rather than trying to disprove theories and legends, he tries to use every scientific tool available to see if something could be done - this is especially true in a chapter on the petrification of natalie. unfortunatley, dr. coward wasn't able to conclude that natalie employs lubricating midgets to keep herself satisfied during those lonely moments.
what's bad?
this probably isn't an issue for most slashdot readers, but i found there was a definite northern hemisphere bias. several chapters take it for granted that most people are interested in natalie's firm, hand-sized breasts. personally i'm up for the whole package... legs, breasts, buttocks, face... you name it, it's all petrified goodness!
so what's in it for me?
there's really something for everyone in can natalie "do it". if you want to know about the petrification of natalie and other traditions there are several chapters to keep you happy. interested in open source? a chapter on the copyrighted undistributable license is what you're after. science geeks will be interested in chapters on petrification rays and rapid fire pellet guns. dieticians will be interested in the chapter on natalie's diet and genetics.
thank you.
Uh, NORAD spends a lot of time looking that direction anyway. I doubt they have to do anything different on the 24th of December (other than paying a few PR types to talk to the media). -Lazy Anonymous Coward
The Bible claims neither that the world is flat nor that it was created 10k years ago, but you would probably not know that, having never read it. The Bible actually includes a mention of the world being round. As for dating of creation, it is not specified. Ussher's and others' attempts at counting back through ages of generations back to Adam and Eve are not regarded as reasonable by any but the most blindly fundamentalist. Try reading Qoheleth or Job (esp the poetic discourse making up the middle, not just the prose frame story) as they might interest you with their discussions of God's opinions on human misery and existence (and man's opinions of God as a result). Or then, perhaps spouting off hearsay and wallowing in ignorance better suits your fancy. *shrug*
There was something flosting around in the bbs days. ( remeber those ? ) Anyway, it was an article about how it is impossiable for santa to exsist and how it can be proven through science. I have not seen this in about 4 years. I figured someone somewhere must have it. Any ideas ?
You're forgetting rule #1 of Political Correctness:
Any statement that CAN be interpreted as bigoted MUST be interpreted as bigoted, lest we give the slimy weasels room to wiggle out of their appointed persecution. Any objection that that's not what the speaker intended is obviously just an attempt to avoid the consequences of their own bigotry.
What about Channukah Sam?
ho ho ho ho ho ho ho....
is a steaming pile of pants
i see you are dealing maturely with the ontological question of the existence of god. i can respect a real atheist, who at least confronts the questions raised by religious belief, but you pussy atheists who just have no time to think are a sad lot.
I read somewhere that many Canadans don't say Merry Christmas in the first place.... they say Happy Christmas. Supposedly saying "Merry" hints hints at being drunk. Don't know if it's true or not, just something I read.
Sorry to be uptight, but... Lets say that Dr Wotsit is a christian. Can you really say that its unfair that hes written a christian book and not a jewish book? Perhaps he shoulda respected the entire world and written 'the science of non-religion-centric december 25th'; or 'The Science of over-commercialised mock tradition' or perhaps he shoulda just not bothered for fear of offending someone. Its absurd to call christians self-centered about christmas - you can join in if you like. The people here dont dislike you because youre not christian; however, when you detract from the reason behind being here - namely 'heh, cool; someone looking at christmas in a way that i understand and enjoy', then you can expect replies like this. /rant :)
I read a review copy and found it a pretty enjoyable. One weird thing I noted was after he gives some background on Geek Houses and how they grew out of a need for shared bandwidth. He says that of course they didn't last long, since bandwidth is now plentyful. This seems unlikely, since many people now still live in geek houses. Even in some of the early ones that he mentions springing up here in Santa Cruz, California.
Although he did have a nice bit on Homer...
/ k.d / earth trickle / Monkeys vs. Robots Films /
Large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
What about us aethists? What do we say? Actually I say Merry Christmas, but since I think that God, Christ and all the rest of that stuff is a steaming pile of pants its kinda strange. But I like my presents like anyone else.. now, where did I get to on my list...
I find it amusing that lack of belief is attributed to not thinking about the subject, particularly since the premise is prima facie absurd.
It's because Moses was a real man duh! And everyone knows real men don't stop to ASK FOR DIRECTIONS! Sheesh...
My cube. My friend. My solace. My prison.
Although I'm not Jewish, I do think you made a good point about the pagan rituals. The Christmas tree has nothing to do with Christ. The same goes for lights (unless they are star shapped or something similar). Also, everyone says that they hate the commercialization of Christmas, but we all continue to support it (myself included). I went shopping last night, and I saw nothing close to Christian behavior. Christians definately do need to focus on what Christmas is about. Also, I think the Jewish people, and everyone else too, should stop acting like victims. Remember, God will reward the persecuted, regardless of their religion.
Hey, its no fair! What about the science of HANUKKAH? Christians are so self centered on their pagan celebrations...
I usually offer "Happy Solstice". My pagan friends (who celebrate Solstice) are pleased, my geek and agnostic friends (well, those who know even a bit of astronomy) like the non-religeous bias (Solstice happened long before Paganism). Any others, well, I just don't give a darn what they think. - RSH
What's the deal with taking 40 years to cross the desert? I don't believe the dropped quarter story.
Next Hanukkah, I am getting Moses a GPS receiver...
Don't you mean Channukah Harry?
All recent book reviews have linked to fatbrain, not Amazon.com. I believe that Hemos stated in a comment on another book review that they're working on converting all the old ones to fatbrain, too, but there are a lot of reviews so it's going slowly.
--Phil (I'm too into instant gratification to buy online--I just drive down to the local Borders. (I want my books NOW!))
355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation!
Moderate Up Up Up!
What happened to my moderate points?
Did I answer to a thread here?
-- perl -e'print pack"H*","6e656d6f406d38792e6f7267"'
Please? Pleeease?? Aw C'mon, plEEEEEaaaasSE?
**>>BELCH
Congrats on the new book thar, big fellah! All proceeds from the book going to FSF?
Huaow!
; )
**>>BELCH
May day May day over
:)
I'm having trouble with my Slashdot filters over.
I know I specified in my preferences that I never wanted to ever even hear Junky Katz's name ever again. But for some strange reason he keeps popping up now and again.
And BTW, being a geek. The one thing that in rages me nowadays is Junky Katz suposedly being a voice for geeks.
In the future I'll just politely ask that any mention of Katz be in a separate post.
Thanks
There is absolutely no problem. Santa exists, the true myth is that there are good children out there. The parents simply don't want the child to get poor self-esteem and feel bad so they pretend that Santa hasn't put you down on the naughty list yet again. Another mystery solved.
admitting you have a problem is always the first step
I drink to make other people more interesting
- Reading this stupid joke
- Eating chinese food
That's about it. So, since my physics prof. didn't give us a copy of the joke, I'm glad to have seen it onSolstice happened long before Paganism
;-) But, that's okay, I know you probably meant the human celebration of Solstice.
Ummm... Solstice happened long before human existence
Chris
San Francisco values: compassion, tolerance, respect, intelligence
Ya'see, Rudolph is actually carrying the highly advanced tech required to make the whole Christmas delivery thing work. The light from his nose is actually the doppler shifted reflection of a minituarized ST:NG Impulse engine. The Sleigh is carrying a minituarized Warp Generator which, when in use, causes the sleigh to appear as a shooting star or a twinkle (depending on viewing angle). Claus uses the Picard manuever to be in several places at once, and, as demand for his services has grown, has taken to using a holodeck projected image of himself and molecular transporters to get the work done.
The cookies, etc. are then transported back to the workshop and converted to their constituent elements for use in next year's toys.
Geez, don't they teach elementary (ST:NG) 24th century physics around here anymore?
...Open Source isn't the only answer -- but it's almost always a better value than the alternatives...
Geez, nothing but "Katz sucks" posts and some whiny looser crying that nobody's done a Hannukah book.
Get a life or at least, another script.
Steve's Computer Service, Hobbs, NM
Does the book has an explanation of why Rudolph's nose glows?
Mezz -- always wanted to know.
Sounds like Katz is closely related to Eliza then :)
"Oppression and harassment is a small price to pay to live in the land of the free." -- Montgomery Burns.
Not just a book, according to ThinkGeek:
Which just goes to prove the publishers will still print anything. Especially if they don't understand it.
Actually, he has several books out. Sheesh.
..Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo!
+&x
The explanation is: the reindeer are made of hydrino compounds and powered by hydrino engines and batteries. There would be pods containing intersecting helium and electron beams under a negatively charged plate. The electrons in the beam would be deformed in such a way that they would oppose gravity and push up against that electric field of the negative plate. Anything attached to the plate would also experience lift!
Why can't people just understand that "Merry Christmas" is, 99% of the time, just an expression of wishes and good will, and is rarely said in malice?
:-)
As a militant agnostic, I couldn't agree more.
While I'm not at all convinced that Christmas has any religious significance whatsoever, I enjoy participating in some of the trappings of the season (i.e., putting up and decorating a live tree in the living room, putting up Christmas lights outside, buying presents, watching holiday movies and specials on TV, throwing a few dollars here and there into Salvation Army kettles, etc.) Most of these traditions, in their general sense, have nothing to do with any particular religion whatsoever. And with that in mind, the name "Christmas" does not, and should not, be taken as a direct reference to or advertisement for any particular religion, either.
People who get their panties in a bunch about "Merry Christmas" really need to get a life. "Peace on Earth and goodwill to men?" Horrors! We wouldn't want anything like that to catch on and spread!
We're going down, in a spiral to the ground
Katz's book is really entitled Greeks. It's a well-thought-out tome that explains what life was life back in ancient Athens. Quite an interesting read, actually.
We're going down, in a spiral to the ground
Well DUH! That's why he has helpers! :)
Why do people always assume that grammatically correct Chinese translates into broken English?
Hands in my pocket
--
Seems that a scientist approached God and said, "Listen, we don't need you anymore. Science has figured out the mysteries of the Earth to the point that we can handle everything without you."
God replied, "If you think you don't need me, I have one request of you - I made you by breathing life into dust. You try it."
The scientist said, "No problem, we know that all proteins necessary to sustain life can be made out of dirt." And he stooped down to grab a handful of soil.
But God answered, "Get your own dirt!"
You might have to revise that number based upon the huge number of people who exchange gifts on Epiphany (Three kings day) I know that People in Argentina, as well as many other countries, generally exchange gifts on January 6 rather than December 25. (That's what the 12 days of Christmas are all about.)
I think it's based on Katz's Rolling Stone article.
It is referenced on Slashdot, which is where I first read about it.
And Jesse and Eric post to Slashdot
George
The best explination I ever heard was frommy wife's first boyfriend's mother.
She said that santa stopped time and you could tell he had because when time stopped bubbles formed on the side of a glass of water.
So every christmas eve, the kid went to sleep with a glass of water by the bed so he could tell when santa had come and gone!
Myddrin
I fail to see what a tree and lights has to do with Christianity.
;-)
Christmas IS over-commercialized and I'm doing my part by not taking part of it. (Besides, gifts should be un-expected not expected.)
I wish for peace and good-will to all humans ALL YEAR around, not just ONE DAY, which IS the TRUE essence of Christianity: Treating people with respect, maturity, and love. Religion aside, the world would be a better place if everyone would just try a little harder to put aside our petty differences.
(Sorry if you were offended by the subject header, but I needed to grab your attention
Cheers and Happy Holidays
Years ago, I read a hilarious artical by James Randi explaining the scientific method might be used to test the hypothesis that some reindeer can fly. The only thing I can't remember for sure is where I saw it. I thought I found it on hi web site, but it doesn't seem to be there now. Is there a copy online? A link to it would be quite appropriate to this discussion.
The net will not be what we demand, but what we make it. Build it well.
But if he used a TARDIS on loan from Dr. Who then all he has to do is keep going back to the same point in time but a different location on Earth. The TARDIS existing in a different dimension inside than out also lets him store the 600,000 tons of gifts. If he then travelled back to before he travelled in the first place then he could also replicate himself again and again as many times as needed in order to get the job done and save himself some time, or maybe the last bit is pure fantasy ;-)
Merry Christmas!
The link to ThinkGeek was given by Joe Mahoney, I'd assumeÉ /. link is to FatBrain, which is independent.
The
Work together for the Common Geek Good:
Check out Project Upper/Mute, an all-around awesome compiler fra
Assuming all children are good, and Santa follows the United States standard of legal minors being under 18. The number of goodchilren under the age of 12 is much smaller, I'd think. And what says his sleigh doesn't have an aeordynamic ceramic heatshield, like the Space Shuttle? Given the evidence, North Pole technology is centuries ahead of ours, it might be one huge, thin diamond.
He doesn't need to carry allthe gifts with him at once, he can go back to the north pole to pick them up in batches.
On a theological level, the logistical problems caused by more and more good Christian kids as the population expands would have the Church hurting Santa - he can't do his job if the Church does theirs. So, Santa must use a sliding scale of goodness - only a constant numberof the best children get presents directly from Santa every year.
Work together for the Common Geek Good:
Check out Project Upper/Mute, an all-around awesome compiler fra
NORAD's Santa-tracking site
Warning: Flash 4 required.
--
NetInfo connection failed for server 127.0.0.1/local
The numbers don't seem to add up if you take everything according to historical story. We must remember that is what it is--a historical story. With the concept of hubs and hierarchical management, Santa's world operation can be split down into manageable tasks, with the true Santa acting as World Operations manager in the WHQ, North Pole. He also would have realized the importance of outsourcing cumbersome tasks to contract workers, like Mall appearances, Parades, etc. The revenue from all this comes from a payment made on behalf of educational institutions for being a desired and powerful influence on Children. His influence lessens the need for disciplinary actions this time of year, due to the 'bad or good' side of Santa. Disciplinary action takes time away from teaching, so the schools profit more from paying Santa this 'kickback', so they gladly pay.
So the idea of Santa is legitimate. You have to remember the corporate breakdown of his operation, though, to make it all work.
- Sig
anyhow, I have a source in the North Pole that reports that Santa, his reindeer, and elves are all from Krypton and can fly faster than the speed of light and reverse time (as long as they charge up during the long summers on our yellow sun). You've probably seen Superman do this in one of his movies. Santa didn't get the X-Ray vision or superhuman strength or ability to fly when he came here, but he can suck in his gut and fit down narrow chimneys and has psychic perception to know when you've been bad or good, asleep or awake, which more than makes up for those powers. Santa also has the ability to clone himself and appear at multiple shopping malls at once. He is also immortal. You may or may not remember the evil Multiple Santa (who was thankfully defeated by the Tick) duplicated this power, but lacked the psychic powers.
I'd best not reveal any more, or Santa's Security (SS) troops will track me down and beat me again.
Erm - 8 years ago I was 12 yrs old, and wasn't really up on thermodynamics and quantum physics.
My spectrum wasn't too hot with email, either.
I'd have found this really funny if I hadn't read it word for word in an email a week ago.
Oh well, still good for a laugh.
I've never understood quantum mechanics, but now I think it's starting to make sense.
Santa can be in every house at the same time because he is in a quantum state. This also explains why we never get to see him! If I saw him I suppose he'd be stuck in a single state (my house) until he left, then he'd have to start over.
Hmm, either that or a jar of poison gas would open and he'd die, I guess I don't quite understand it yet.
Dunno if anyone else saw it, but NORAD runs a sky search every year looking for unusual phenomona over the northern sky on the night of Christmas Eve. Apparently, a mixup of telephone numbers in the '40s had children calling NORAD instead of Sears looking to have a chat with the jolly fat man and ever since then, it's been tradition to look for S.C. They have a website somewhere where you can even see their progress. Imagine how much of your tax dollars are being spent to do this... Is that disgusting or what?
YAH!!! EUPHEMISMS!!!! are you gravitationally inclined?!?! I'm melanin deficient. (see, i'm white so i get a "deficient" thing.) There are times for tact and then there is real life. If someone is going to be offended by being called anything but a singular week word they should ware it around their pissed-off necks. while the rest of us can go on in life noticing the differences in our cultures and appreciating and finding out more about them. Toleration is not how "world peace" is to be made, it is understanding. Get a life.
and then the great god Om spake unto him: Hey You! You deff?!
...what a horrible, nasty, evil thing that saying "Merry Christmas" is. I don't know about in the States, but up here in Canada, it is no longer politically correct to do so.
Oh, you can say "Happy Channukah", all right. Of course, all the neutral crap like "Seasons Greetings" and "Happy Holidays", but if you say "Merry Christmas", you are originally branded a bigot who doesn't understand that other people celebrate different holidays.
Why can't people just understand that "Merry Christmas" is, 99% of the time, just an expression of wishes and good will, and is rarely said in malice?
- In Capitalist America, law violates YOU!
Does anyone recall that old post that was about proving if santa could really fly and deliver all those packages? (I'm pretty sure the authors have :)
Whoops - my bad. Yer right - it's non-fiction. I read the description of the book, but, didn't check that part of it. :-/
Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr - looking for something to read? Check out my three free novels at MidnightRyder.org
Naw - no need for flameage.
From what I gather, it's a fictional piece, dedicated to CmdrTaco and Hemos. The main characters in the book are Jessie and Eric - the /.'ers are Rob and Jeff.
Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr - looking for something to read? Check out my three free novels at MidnightRyder.org
"God does not play dice with the universe." -Albert Einstein
Those who fail to understand communication protocols, are doomed to repeat them over port 80.
OK, now calculate these figures, please: How many calories does Santa burn going down the chimney, distributing gifts, back up, etc., 108e6 times; and how many does he consume with all those cookies, puddings, etc. left out for him?
Net result, does Santa have to work out after Christmas to lose the weight he's put on (like the rest of us mere mortals)? Or does he have to bulk up the rest of the year to be in form by next Halloween, or whenever they're turning him loose on the malls now? (Seems earlier every year, don't it?)
Good... bad... I'm the one with the gun.
ProofReading Markup Language - and yes, I find typos.
More race stuff in one place,
than any one place on the net.
you're a typical slashdotter...a dumb fuck. i hate you and your kind and I'm actively working on a solution.
Dear Bill Gates,You really should watch your language, we all know it's you. :^)
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
I, for one, would like a little more information about the book. I checked the ThinkGeek page, but I'm still confused.
Is the book about CmdrTaco and Hemos? Or is it just dedicated to them?
Please don't flame me, I just really don't know enough history of the subject.
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
Santa actually delivers presents all year round. However, because of very clever marketing, the probability of them being perceived before Dec 25 is so low that their existence remain indeterminate - in Schrodinger terms, the box is not opened.
However, on Dec 25th, everyone expects presents - looks in the box - and the wave collapses.
Meanwhile Santa is selling the idea to Intel as an alternative to clock-locking their CPUs...
This sig left unintentionally blank.
After he'd visted the first house and fired up the TARDIS, it would malfunction and land him on Skaron...
This sig left unintentionally blank.
Everyone knows this is complete and utter rubbish. Santa uses magic to get around to everyone - science just can't explain this one. Jeeez - don't they teach you anything in high school?
(posting with Mozilla and proud of it).
Matt. Want XML + Apache + Stylesheets? Get AxKit.
If you're such a militant agnostic, you might consider giving your money to a less militantly Christian charity...
OK, I know they do some great work with the homeless, but I'm sure there are other charities that do equally good work but don't lace it with evangelism (and all those horrible military trappings).
--
(Well, at least it's not a Microsoft Production. :)
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
On the downside, did Jesse really write this ? That seems a little too Katz-like to be real. And would anyone want to read a whole book of this?
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
Eric
In fact Santa can do it and you will discover how if you read http://www.cybersurf.co.uk/johnny/sant a.html
Johnny
I'm reading this in the Books section. It provides links to Amazon for purchase of books. There've been enough articles here slamming Amazon's patent practices, and enough negative comments from the /. staff that I find this hypocritical. If this was a case of necessary income, I'd understand. We all have to do things we don't like to make a living, but CmdrTaco's a millionaire now. He doesn't need the few dollars he gets for referral sales from Amazon.
There aren't as many good children as you think. Certainly none in my house.
Rupert (off to buy the white beard colouring anyway)
--
E_NOSIG
Am I having deja vu...does the plot of Geeks sound amazingly like a Dateline episode I watched once...or maybe Katz ran an article on Slashdot about these guys. Somehow I've heard this story before.
Jazilla.org - the Java Mozilla
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
And by the way...what the heck happened to the sigs? Did Rob remove the HTMLability out of them? My links are all gone.
Jazilla.org - the Java Mozilla
It's 10 PM. Do you know if you're un-American?
Gah, this joke is so old it has hair on it. Yeah, it's hilarious, but does /. need to be turned into another "FW: (fwd): FWD: >>>> JOKES" site?
Yeah, yeah, bah humbug...
You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
There's a thing on the Discovery Channel tonight that looks like it could be the same material:
/ 14/22595000.html
http://www.discovery.com/sched/domestic/episode
I'm still trying to figure out what Katz would know about Geeks. His articles on here sure aren't a shining endorsement of his book...
Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr - looking for something to read? Check out my three free novels at MidnightRyder.org
Could be that he is using a Beowolf cluster of 1000's of Santas. After all, he *is* doing basically the same process at each household, and they would all return to the North Pole (the main server) when finished....
free presents from Santa - free snacks for Santa - free as in 'free beer'. Yeah - that's the ticket - Santa is running GNU/Linux!!
Oh, come on. Everybody knows that Santa just forks himself as many times as needed. The gift-delivery process is perfectly parallelizable, so, assuming Santa has decent parallel hardware, he should have no problems at all.
The only issue, of course, is that all these Santas has to be reaped properly afterwards. After all, you don't want hordes of Santa zombies wandering around town...
Kaa
Kaa
Kaa's Law: In any sufficiently large group of people most are idiots.
There is off course the explanation that Santa employs the powers of quantum mechanics. In this case the use of the multiuniverse theory (or the other theory - depending on your point of view) can be used.
;)
By quantum mechanics Santa manages to manifest himself in all states in the same point in time. Santa can employ quantum mechanics based on the uncertainty principle of "Does Santa Claus exist or not?" and "Have I been a good boy/girl/it?".
In this way Santa assumes all states at once. Being in all chimneys, filling all stockings, eatting the mince pie left out for him, etc etc, all at the same single point in time.
Now the really clever part is how does Santa manage to forge every single person's pareints signature.
transcript of Katz interview for his latest artcicle: Creationism in the Hellmouth of Geekdom and Nerdity
Katz: So, you're a teenager in a high school. Is that correct?
Teenager: Yes, that is correct.
Katz: You don't play team sports and are very pimply. You are a geek, is that correct?
Teenager: Well, I've never referred to myself that way, but I guess I see how one would think that.
Katz: Tell me how horrible your life is as a result of being a geeky teenager.
Teenager: Huh?
Katz: You can start off by telling me about the daily beatings you suffer and then move on to the alienation and administration apathy which has your bordering on suicide
Teenager: What are you talking about? I've never been beaten. I'm a Regents Scholar and have a great relationship with my teachers.
Katz: Yes, that must have been horrible
Teenager: Uh, are you listening to me?
Katz: After that horrible incident, how close were you to murdering your schoolmates and/or killing yourself
Teenager: Murder my schoolmates? Why would I do that. I just came back from christmas break vacation with several of them. We had a blast. As far as killing myself, that would never happen. I have a full scholarship to Berkley. My future is great.
Katz: Thank you for giving us an insight into the horrors of being a geeky teenager. Sharing your experiences with the world will help others like you and will help me get a house in the south of France.
Teenager: You need Ritalin, dude.
SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective
I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.
II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom
stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles
per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them-Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second crates enormous air resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.