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User: Opportunist

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Comments · 44,848

  1. Re:There real story here is on Scientists Confirm There Was Life On Earth 3.5 Billion Years Ago (qz.com) · · Score: 3, Funny

    Should've looked closer, there's a few senators old enough that there's some mold growing on them.

    INTELLIGENT life, on the other hand, ...

  2. Re:Did you not get the memo? on Scientists Confirm There Was Life On Earth 3.5 Billion Years Ago (qz.com) · · Score: 1

    You're off by about a factor of a million, but otherwise surprisingly accurate.

  3. Re:Age of Earth 4.5 billion on Scientists Confirm There Was Life On Earth 3.5 Billion Years Ago (qz.com) · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Sorry. MORE TIME than it took from ... In other words, first multicellular organisms came into existence less than a billion years ago.

    I need more coffee.

  4. Re:Age of Earth 4.5 billion on Scientists Confirm There Was Life On Earth 3.5 Billion Years Ago (qz.com) · · Score: 2

    A billion years still is a very, very long time. A billion years is less time than it took from single celled organism to humans.

  5. Re: don't be silly the bible says on Scientists Confirm There Was Life On Earth 3.5 Billion Years Ago (qz.com) · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Here's the thing: I don't mind hearing Merry Christmas (but I slowly start to DO mind hearing "Last Christmas". C'mon. George is dead, let the song follow). You wish me a Merry Christmas, I'll probably reply in kind.

    What bothers me is the asshats that get ballistic if you wish them "Happy Holidays". Who then berate you for wishing them well that "this is a christian nation".

    NO. Fuck it, it's not. It's a secular nation. If you want to live in a theocracy, go to fucking Iran. And take a good look at the whole area to get an idea what it leads to if you base your laws on the power fantasies written down by bigoted barbarians millennia ago when it was a-ok to just bash someone's head in because he has the wrong imaginary friend.

  6. Re:One for those species who could not adapt on Scientists Confirm There Was Life On Earth 3.5 Billion Years Ago (qz.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    The biggest joke here is that most of those you claim "adapted" don't even think evolution is real and instead prefer to believe that their imaginary friend poofed everything into existence with magic.

  7. Re:It's gonna improve soon on America's 'Rent Crisis' May Be Ending (fortune.com) · · Score: 1

    I don't know, the three driving forces of humanity are greed, fear and greed.

  8. Re:It's a forced upgrade on Microsoft Disables Word DDE Feature To Prevent Further Malware Attacks (bleepingcomputer.com) · · Score: 1

    Please don't tell me you use anything coming from MS Office as a trusted data source.

    That's for managers so they can play with something and don't get in the way of working people.

  9. Re:It's a forced upgrade on Microsoft Disables Word DDE Feature To Prevent Further Malware Attacks (bleepingcomputer.com) · · Score: 1

    So am I. I refuse to touch the atrocity that is C# for as long as I possibly can.

    But it gets harder and harder with every incarnation of Visual Studio.

  10. Re:Feminist Unix Command on Ask Slashdot: What's The Worst IT-Related Joke You've Ever Heard? · · Score: 1

    Please don't use the word microaggression, you hurt the self image of aggressions if you belittle them.

  11. Re:It's a forced upgrade on Microsoft Disables Word DDE Feature To Prevent Further Malware Attacks (bleepingcomputer.com) · · Score: 1

    I honestly can't think of anyone still using DDE for anything. Compared to OLE it's clumsy and very, very badly supported. You'll have more comfort writing Windows GUI applications in C++ with Visual Studio than using DDE.

  12. Re:Repurposed... on Can Intel's 'Management Engine' Be Repurposed? · · Score: 1

    Stop tempting me!

  13. Re:It's a forced upgrade on Microsoft Disables Word DDE Feature To Prevent Further Malware Attacks (bleepingcomputer.com) · · Score: 2, Interesting

    OLE is about 25 years old. If you have to update your software because it's not able to do OLE, it's about fucking time!

  14. Re:Feminist Unix Command on Ask Slashdot: What's The Worst IT-Related Joke You've Ever Heard? · · Score: 1

    1) Yes, but only if you really are an unprivileged user. Whether you are is up to the PC-DOS mentioned in 18) and doesn't depend at all on whether you are actually unprivileged or not. And of course you cannot use it against other unprivileged users, based on their own definition of whether they are unprivileged or not.

    2) New angry/offended groups are created automatically by the system (PC-DOS, see above) based on necessity or whim.

  15. Re:A religious one on Ask Slashdot: What's The Worst IT-Related Joke You've Ever Heard? · · Score: 1

    I'm old, ok? That's a joke we told around the lab when I was still a student.

    Now get offa my PCB!

  16. It's gonna improve soon on America's 'Rent Crisis' May Be Ending (fortune.com) · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Just wait 'til everyone who mortgaged their home to buy bitcoins has to pay that mortgage back, that should put some cheap houses into the market.

  17. Re:I rent my car... on America's 'Rent Crisis' May Be Ending (fortune.com) · · Score: 1

    You can afford a car???

    Look at Mr. Moneybags.

  18. The Linux one on Ask Slashdot: What's The Worst IT-Related Joke You've Ever Heard? · · Score: 1

    Why is the Linux army superior to the Windows army?

    Because we can customize our Colonels, know how to protect Private Data and General Protection Fault is on the other team.

  19. The Star Wars one on Ask Slashdot: What's The Worst IT-Related Joke You've Ever Heard? · · Score: 1

    What do you get when you put an AI into an old scientific HP calculator?

    An AI that talks like Yoda.

  20. Re:Feminist Unix Command on Ask Slashdot: What's The Worst IT-Related Joke You've Ever Heard? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Politically correct linux is now finally a reality. The changes are subtle but very important.

    1) man pages are now person pages.
    2) Due to complaints from allergic people, cat has been replaced by hypoallergenic_domestic_animal.
    3) "yes" is a relic from the times men dominated IT and thought that the only way a woman could reply was in the positive, so it has been complemented with a "no" command.
    4) -f(orce) has been removed from all programs to ensure no program can be made do things it does not want to do by itself.
    5) The gender biased "mail" command has been replaced by "gender". And you can have as many copies of it as you please, as well as create your own and enforce their use.
    6) The "touch" command was removed, due to recent events concerning its use in certain management circles.
    7) "unzip" has been removed as well, for similar reasons.
    8) "more", being a relic from the Reagan-era'esque thinking of amassing wealth being the only goal in life, has been completely removed. People are encouraged to use the more environmentally friendly "less".
    9) LaTex has been removed by the biodegradable KleeNex.
    10) Due to causing stress and anxiety with people, "kill" has been replaced by the more agreeable "euthanize". Prior consent of tasks for it to be used on them is required and strictly observed.
    11) The "nice" command has been frequently used by users of the privileged class to grant themselves more resources. Unprivileged users and those that think they are can now use the "sue" command to achieve the same.
    12) history has been completely rewritten and is now herstory
    13) "quota" is now strictly enforced, whether the resources warrant it or not, whether the tasks actually require the allotted resources or not and whether it makes sense or not.
    14) abort() is now choice()
    15) daemons are now spiritual guides
    16) X Window is now NC-17 Window
    17) Terminals with limited capabilities are no longer to be called dumb terminals. All terminals are considered equally valuable and some of them are special.
    18) root and its wheel oligarchy have been ousted. Instead we implemented the People's Committee for Democratic Organisation of Systems (PC-DOS). Everyone is allowed to do everything and expected to take only what they need.

    You will find these new guidelines and features very stimulating and you will agree that they are very useful, sensible and are going to increase our productivity. Or you're just a reactionary, sexist, racist pig!

  21. As long as we're rid of him, who cares?

  22. He was made commissioner by Obama, but Trump made him chairman. At least according to the FCC.

    So no, Obama did not put him into the position where he could make this decision. But clever wording, I have to give you that. It's actually true enough to not make people call you a liar but omits enough to make people think that Obama is to blame for this asshole being where he is.

  23. Re:Who Cares? on Ajit Pai Taunts Net Neutrality Critics. Mark Hamill Taunts Ajit Pai (mashable.com) · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I know how to use the internet without Google, without Facebook, without Twitter.

    How do I do it without an ISP?

  24. Re:Freedom from NN on Ajit Pai Taunts Net Neutrality Critics. Mark Hamill Taunts Ajit Pai (mashable.com) · · Score: 1

    Shill or stupid?

  25. Re:If Ajit sees himself as one of the Jedi.... on Ajit Pai Taunts Net Neutrality Critics. Mark Hamill Taunts Ajit Pai (mashable.com) · · Score: 2

    If he is a Jedi, I think it's time to execute Order 66.