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User: jewishbaconzombies

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  1. Re:It could mean Android users are better partners on Stats Show iPhone Owners Get More Sex · · Score: 1

    Of course not - they could have been having a lemonade and eating cookies while going to a church function.

    Not engaging in hot unbridled steaming sex with fluids flowing everywhere. Not at all.

  2. that explains the haters on Stats Show iPhone Owners Get More Sex · · Score: 1

    At least know I know why the acrimony from the Apple haters.

    The smell of virgin is a special kind of bitter. The kind of bitter that makes nerds suddenly give a shit about what technology someone else choses to use. And they can't abide by THAT. Ho no.

    Meanwhile people who get laid have no idea why the fuck the nerds would give two-shits.

  3. Hold everything on Lasers Approach Their Ultimate Intensity Limit · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can convert light into matter?

    Sooooo PewPewPew, eventually becomes SplatSplatSplat?

    That's an interesting kind of awesome right there.

  4. Don't let him near the consitution on The Great Typo Hunt · · Score: 1

    He'd be there all day replacing the letter F with S's.

    Mao would love this guy. George Orwell too.

  5. Sounds like a great plot point on Touchscreens Open To Smudge Attacks · · Score: 1

    For tv shows like Burn Notice, but I'll just keep using my handy microfiber data encryption algorithm cloth. It's also handy for cleaning eyeglasses too.

  6. This kind of stuff on Girl Quits On Dry Erase Board a Hoax · · Score: 1

    Is just making it harder for anyone to believe that my penis can sing Lady GaGa tunes.

    I was going to post it on YouTube but now everyone will just think it's fake. Goddamn internet.

  7. Great marketing angle on iPhone vs. Android Battle Goes To Afghanistan · · Score: 1

    I don't drive a Hummer - so why would I give a shit what the military uses?

  8. don't you mean on How Star Trek Artists Imagined the iPad... 23 Years Later · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    TAMMPON?

    Dur hur hur dur hur dur hur. Lulz pwned L33tfag - signed, Sarah Palin's genetic disaster-baby (gotta catch-em all!)

  9. So what's the point? on Spinal-Fluid Test Confirmed To Predict Alzheimer's · · Score: 1

    So great - you'll know if you're doomed. That sounds like fun.

    I'd rather see more data on a cure before I'm supposed to invest myself psychologically in the diagnostics. I've heard things being developed, and ways to help prevent, but living a life with a lit fuse running into your skull doesn't sound like a miracle of medicine - it sounds like a death-clock at the least, and a suicide watch at the most.

    Count me out.

  10. Re:What would you do? on Is AOL Finally Crashing and Burning? · · Score: 1

    Guess who was the last company to lose 1 billion in income in the high-tech space in a single year. Atari - 1983 - (adjusted for inflation) they lost 1.06 to 1.5 billion in one year, and were dumped shortly afterwards.

  11. You've Got Fail! on Is AOL Finally Crashing and Burning? · · Score: 2, Insightful

    I'm surprised they lasted this long - particularly after Warner ditched them. It's a testament to the power of people unwilling to change their email addresses mostly I bet.

  12. Re:Worst Summary Ever. on DIY Air Quality Balloons · · Score: 3, Funny

    And they use LEDs. Don't forget the tri-colored LEDs. Because it's important to mention tri-colored LEDs whenever they're used. And they're using tri-colored LEDs. Which are LEDs that come in three colors.

    I'm going to stick my head in a microwave now.

  13. Re:Oblig. Simpsons... on Child Porn As a Weapon · · Score: 1

    Try again english failure major. It implies a(nother) poll can be legally binding. To WHAT?

  14. Re:dont get caught on Child Porn As a Weapon · · Score: 1

    Sorry - never listened to his stuff without being stoned out of my gourd.

  15. Re:What is Air Quality? on DIY Air Quality Balloons · · Score: 3, Funny

    Aren't you supposed to be making plastic crap for us?

    GET BACK TO WORK CHAIRMAN, NOW!

  16. Re:Don't blame Christianity for any of this on Child Porn As a Weapon · · Score: 0, Troll

    Actually, Basic Theology holds that there's a magical man in the sky who can see and judge everything you do your entire life.

    Which makes him a Pedophile-o-pervmaster supreme since he's watching an entire planet of children all at once, and sees all that child porn that's being produced every day.

    Which explains the Vatican controversies when you think about it.

  17. Re:dont get caught on Child Porn As a Weapon · · Score: 1

    Wait - Jethro Tull will get you arrested for being a Pedo? Or are they just the most favored musical act of Pedos.

    I better throw-away these CDs just to be safe.

    Can't be too careful.

  18. Re:Oblig. Simpsons... on Child Porn As a Weapon · · Score: 1

    Funny, but - I've never heard of a legally binding poll - outside of the Federal Census. Where can I get a job as a legally binding pollster?

    TV writer fail.

  19. Re:if by "more than a decade" on Why NASA's New Video Game Misses the Point · · Score: 1

    I recall you as the source of the fat and stupid line. If that's the way you interact with people as well as talk down to them - I hope you stay unemployed now that Nasa is done with rocket-scientists.

    Otherwise fuck off troll.

  20. Teach them scripting even if they never use it on Steve Furber On Why Kids Are Turned Off To Computing Classes · · Score: 1

    I was taught Basic on TRS 80 Model III equipped computer labs in Jr High / early High School. This didn't even come close to representing what I do today (I don't even script much, just corrections on the Dev team's templates when I can - I'm time-cuffed to Photoshop mockups for every site and mobile client they throw at me which is a ton of work in of itself) - however - it was useful in demystifying computers to me back in the day and presented a basic method for problems solving and error checking that applies to just about everything I've done since.

    Start with something that encourages non-linear problem-solving and product creation and you've got yourself a person who will use that to start some really cool shit in the future.

    It should also be noted that the best college courses I took were classes that applied abstract problem-solving to all walks of life (good design can be applied to all lines of visual thought - if you start with basic problem solving and work down to the technical components later (typography, color theory etc) for instance).

  21. Re:That's a shame. on Why Recordings From World War I Aren't Public Domain · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    You don't know pussy.

    He meant "Tits" - I've never heard of anyone doing a line of a strippers ass-crack - just tits. GET IT RIGHT. And you can shove that Arse crap up your ass. Sounds like fucking pirate talk. Aaaaaarrrrseeee. Bullshit. It's ASS.

  22. Re:Completely disconnected from reality on Why NASA's New Video Game Misses the Point · · Score: 1

    Actually I'm more concerned what he has against fapping.

  23. Re:if by "more than a decade" on Why NASA's New Video Game Misses the Point · · Score: 1

    Sure - NASA couldn't propose something compelling that would secure funding, so they're off the hook.

    Doesn't change the fact that human spaceflight NASA is fucking dead, and a video game isn't going to change this. More than 20 years of designs doesn't mean dick for the space program until something compelling secures a mandate and funding. Nasa has done everything possible to do exactly that.

    And the fact you missed that point shows your intelligence level (not to mention fat and stupid line - hey suck my cock fag - did I spell that right virgin? It hurts to think down to your level).

    And here's a clue for the clue-impaired, I don't need to type paragraphs to state the obvious for the retarded spawn of Sarah Palin. Go back to Methtown.

  24. Re:Sounds as exciting on Why NASA's New Video Game Misses the Point · · Score: 1

    Looks like the German director of that one was a Terry Gilliam / Monty Python fan - or perhaps it was an early work from Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Delicatessen).

    Mod parent up request please!

  25. Re:Moonbase Alpha is brilliant for one reason on Why NASA's New Video Game Misses the Point · · Score: 1

    Someone please mod the parent up - my sides now hurt like hell from that link.

    Now we know what Persistent vegetative state boredom sounds like - Uuuuuuiiiieeeeahhhhhhuuuuuuuuu ....

    (the soundtrack was the cherry on top)