User: dankjones

Synthetic mitochondria w/checksum

On: Scientists build DNA based computer

I was just thinking last night it would be great if we could invent synthetic mitochondria that could read our DNA and perform checksum algorithms.

And then alert a repair mechanism when errors are found. It would probably need to survey other cells to compare results.

"no such thing as two."

On: Ternary Computing Revisited

"What an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere. [shudder] And I thought I saw a two." -Bender

"It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two." -Fry

Survivor Season X

On: The Real Mission to Mars

They might be able to put some cameras in there with them and sell the footage to the people who do the survivor TV series.

"OK, for your first task we need you to convert meters to feet.
You don't get anything for it...We just don't know how."

I can beat that!

On: Honda's ASIMO A Few Steps Closer To Human

I'll dress up in a robot suit and walk around like a 6 foot tall constipated baby for HALF THE PRICE.

Re:Addressing

On: Light Emitting Pictures On Standard Inkjet Printer

This would apply if the object had more than two states -- on, and off. which it does not.

pro bono

On: Filing a Domain Name Dispute?

Latin pr bon (public), for the (public) good : pr, for + bon, ablative of bonum, the good.]

...Now you know!

I hope they don't ignite the atmosphere...

On: Tiny X-rays of Tiny Animals

I wonder if some similar technique could be used to produce thermoneuclear fusion.

"No such thing as two"

On: Ternary Computing

"What an awful dream. Ones and zeroes everywhere. [shudder] And I thought I saw a two." -Bender
"It was just a dream, Bender. There's no such thing as two." -Fry

Beer Goggles?

On: Alcohol Haze At Galactic Heart

Beer telescope!

XAO-3

On: Inflatable Loudspeakers

This will come in handy if Good year ever brings back the XAO-3 Inflatoplane

Re:Standing up for Dept of Agriculture

On: GOVNET In the Works

Anthrax is an Agriculture issue. It's incubated in farm animals.

PDA?

On: In Search of the Best Programmable Universal Remote?

I thought you could program PDA's to do that.

Re:Robo-gf!

On: Mindstorms' Next Generation

MMMMMMMMMMM.... Beowulf Clusterfuck.

That'll teach em'

On: Battlebots Battles It Out: TV Show Versus IRC

Battlebots.org should countersue battlebots.com and take the domain name. If they won that might actually cut back on these types of lawsuits.
Or not... whatever.

Re:That was a really lame troll

On: IBM Creates 1st Single Molecule Computer Circuit

Hmm...How about a beowulf cluster of these?

Heres an update...

On: ASCI's Debutante Debut

She got really drunk at the party and was last seen leaving with a VIC20

That VIC's a sly little devil.

Gratuitous MS Bash...

On: Cray SV1 Named Best Supercomputer for 2001

I'll betch one of these suckers could crash windows in a couple o' microseconds.

I have to wait almost all day for it.

It's not breaking and entering...

On: Fight Virus With Virus?

A:Yes, it would be illegal.
B:Don't get caught.
C:It's not breaking and entering if the door is standing wide open.

Re:Don't be a part of the problem

On: Fight Virus With Virus?

In america, It is illegal not to treat TB on account of the fact that you can infect innocent bystanders. There are civil and criminal neglect penalties for being sick carelessly. Exposing someone to HIV is also a federal offence.

Anti-Code Red Virus

On: Code Red II: Shells for the Taking

I've been thinking it would be pretty damn neat if some programmer out there who was fed up with all this Code Red hype wrote up an anti-code red virus that would track down all the infected servers clean them up and patch them, and then, on a certain date/time delete itself.

It could be known as the "Your Welcome" virus.

Unfortunately, I don't know diddly-shit about it.

Uncertainty Haiku

On: Resolution Of The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

I thought I had it

I observed the article

Now i'm not so sure.

Re:Points to ponder, these may be a niche market

On: Antibiotics and Nanotechnology

Depends on what you call a "niche market". Amoxicillin will never catch on as a substitute for tire rubber, nor does it make a good hat.

Re:you are not cool

On: Antibiotics and Nanotechnology

If it makes you feel any better, I think you're an idiot too.

Re:Have them at salad bars.

On: Antibiotics and Nanotechnology

The simple cure for that is to smoke pot, Believe me, it works. Since I started smoking pot 8 years ago I have had one stomach virus and two cases of food poisioning. All three times one puff off of my one hitter and I would INSTANTLY go from Painful cramps + Simultaneous projectile vomiting/explosive diarrhea, to feeling almost well.

On a side note, I noticed that it took slightly more weed to catch a buzz, and that a small dose that would normally get me a little buzzed, gave me no high at all, but relieved almost all symptoms.

Also... Isn't it poetic justice that those who repress and persecute people for drug use get to suffer explosive diarrhea/projectile vomiting. It gives me no end of pleasure to think of the suffering they afflict upon themselves because of their own stupidity.

The clock at work.

On: NIST Builds A 100,000 Times Better Atomic Clock

So when I arrive at work ON TIME and they say "Hey, You're 3 minutes late." and I tell them my watch is set to NIST time and their clock is 3 minutes fast. They'll actually give a shit now?