I know it's lame to reply to one's own post but please bear with me.
Recovering the contents of the Kursk will be one of the most valuable parts of this operation. There will be important documents, equipment, and personal belongings to be sorted out.
In the case of the Slashdot Cruiser, however, they will find only burrito wrappers, a Big Chief Tablet with handwritten notes about geeks in a "post-something-or-other" world, and half a tube of KY.
One weekend, we were planning on hitting the mall, but Katz is on probation and can't go. We try to talk him into it, but he doesn't even want to say "mall" or "young boys" over the phone because he thinks they might be tapping his phone.
So what we do is come up with a plan to obfuscate our communications. In place of "mall", we use "Columbine". In place of "young boys", we use "geeks".
Now Katz can communicate with us about our plans to hit the mall without letting on what we're really talking about.
Example:
"Hey, I was thinking it might be a good idea to revisit Columbine and gets the opinions of several geeks today."
Means:
"Hey, let's go the mall and chat up some young boys."
We were all surprised at how well this worked. In fact, Katz is so pleased he now sends us messages publicly in his articles. Everyone thinks he is writing pseudo-insightful social commentary but he's really just making plans for the weekend.
So now you know. And knowing is half the battle. The other half involves lots of bullets, heavy artillery, and bleeding.
Fortunately, the Unix internal clock works in a manner very similar to the odometer on the Slashdot Cruiser. When you go to trade in your Unix system and step up to Windows, all you have to do is crack open the little block box inside your machine and roll it back several hundred thousand milliseconds.
Nobody will know the difference save the occasional hidden-camera "consumer protection" reporterette. These people seem to have nothing better to do than spy on semi-honest computer salesman and publicly humiliate them for the crime of trying to feed their families. We could talk about the silliness of having to disclose whether or not your computer had its case straightened after a minor plastic-bender, but that would be a whole nother post....
My garage keeps a record of every oil change, tire rotation, and filter change I've had with them. When I go too long without regular maintenance, a computer program automatically sends me a letter to tell me it's time to come in.
"Oh, horrors! But your maintenance history is private. It's no body else's business what kind of oil you have in you."
Bleah. This is the 21st century. Life is much more complex. Each of us has literally hundreds of important dates and events to keep track of. Sure, I could stick a reminder note in my Palm, but why use up the memory when Quik Lube is so willing to use their own?
I like those little reminder notes. I don't mind sacrificing a little privacy if it keeps me from throwing a rod on I-10 during rush hour.
"But," you say, "there's a big difference between oil changes and some big evil corporation knowing what milk I buy!"
*snicker* See how stupid that sounds?
Sure, they have your personal information. What keeps it from being evil is the simple fact that most personal information is incredibly mundane and useless to anyone but me, just like my oil changes.
Face it -- to the rest of the world, the big evil government, and the big evil corporations, YOU ARE BORING. You are mere bytes in a database somewhere and the only interesting aspect of your existence is the question of where to store the backup tapes.
One time, we were driving to a nearby mall. Two maps said that Bent Tree Drive made a sharp left curve. We're tooling along, looking for the sharp left curve so we know there's only two more miles to go.
Well wouldn't you know it? Bent Tree Drive has been under construction for a month. The sharp left curve is now a sharp right curve, followed by two sharp left curves.
There's an old saying: "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left." It had nothing to do with this.
Anyway, it's a good thing I was behind the wheel paying attention. Had I been expecting the sharp left curve, I would have driven the Cruiser into a lake. Fortunately, I made the right followed by two lefts and we all got to the mall safely.
In my humble opinion, something similar has happened to these scientists. Perhaps the prism was under construction. Maybe they didn't see the tiny detour signs or maybe some kids snuck off with them in the middle of the night. You know in the Road Runner cartoons when Wile E. Coyote turns the sign around? I'll bet that's what happened here.
In fact, I understand the scientists also painted a tunnel on the side of a mountain and the microwaves went right into it. See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. If they're really smart, they'll watch out for the oncoming train. It would be a shame if the train hit them and squashed them flat against the front before they could collect their Nobel prize.
Slashdot Mirror
Damn sure wasn't one of these humourless moderators.
Chilton's Auto Repair Manual for the Plymouth P/T Cruiser
The Hobbit's Guide to Picking up Elves
Seven Days to Learn Windows XP and Keep You Job
The next Slashdot Cruiser we give away will be called:
Slashadot Cruiser XP
I know it's lame to reply to one's own post but please bear with me.
Recovering the contents of the Kursk will be one of the most valuable parts of this operation. There will be important documents, equipment, and personal belongings to be sorted out.
In the case of the Slashdot Cruiser, however, they will find only burrito wrappers, a Big Chief Tablet with handwritten notes about geeks in a "post-something-or-other" world, and half a tube of KY.
This is an incredibly complicated and massive effort. I'm sure once it is complete, everyone involved will look forward to an easy task.
May I suggest lifting the Slashdot Cruiser from the bottom of the lake?
But we're both black.
Well, ok, I'm actually green with white trim.
That's it -- both me and Barry get white trim!
Even Barry Bonds strikes out sometimes.
Are the new power adapters supported by the latest Linux kernel?
I'm working on a Nietzsche operating system.
Not only is it very abstract, it's downright existentialist. If you try to log in as "God", it tells you you're dead.
*giggle* You should lighten up, my friend. Drive to the mall or something. *stick ferret down pants*
If you represented someone who is bisexual, would that make you an AC/DC lawyer?
Is it hard to find a parking space in Washington D.C.?
She predicted that would happen.
When are they going to give away another Slashdot Cruiser?
In order to save money, will they just fish the first one out of the lake and give it away again?
It's tough being lain off. I just try to remember my personal philosophy:
:)
I only have one life and I'm going to live it up.
So I'm taking flight and now I'll never get enough. I'm standing tall.
Yes, I'm young. Yes, I'm kind of proud.
But I'll be on top (as long as the music is loud).
*sigh*
Well, I've said it before and I'll say it again....
You get nothing for nothing.
But you should expect it when you're backseat driving and your hands aren't on the wheel, dude.
Now, it's easy to go along with the crowd. But the thing is -- you find later on what you say isn't allowed.
And, as every geek knows, that's the way to find what you've been missing.
Whatever. I'm heading out to the highway.
One weekend, we were planning on hitting the mall, but Katz is on probation and can't go. We try to talk him into it, but he doesn't even want to say "mall" or "young boys" over the phone because he thinks they might be tapping his phone.
So what we do is come up with a plan to obfuscate our communications. In place of "mall", we use "Columbine". In place of "young boys", we use "geeks".
Now Katz can communicate with us about our plans to hit the mall without letting on what we're really talking about.
Example:
"Hey, I was thinking it might be a good idea to revisit Columbine and gets the opinions of several geeks today."
Means:
"Hey, let's go the mall and chat up some young boys."
We were all surprised at how well this worked. In fact, Katz is so pleased he now sends us messages publicly in his articles. Everyone thinks he is writing pseudo-insightful social commentary but he's really just making plans for the weekend.
So now you know. And knowing is half the battle. The other half involves lots of bullets, heavy artillery, and bleeding.
What a steaming pile of crap the MMPI and it's derivatives are.
Psychology -- keeping quackery and psuedo-science alive in medicine.
May I assume that the following books will also be available soon?
Instant Guido van Rossum
Mastering Guido van Rossum
Guido van Rossum for Dummies
Learn Guido van Rossum in 24 Hours
Guido van Rossum in a Nutshell
Fortunately, the Unix internal clock works in a manner very similar to the odometer on the Slashdot Cruiser. When you go to trade in your Unix system and step up to Windows, all you have to do is crack open the little block box inside your machine and roll it back several hundred thousand milliseconds.
Nobody will know the difference save the occasional hidden-camera "consumer protection" reporterette. These people seem to have nothing better to do than spy on semi-honest computer salesman and publicly humiliate them for the crime of trying to feed their families. We could talk about the silliness of having to disclose whether or not your computer had its case straightened after a minor plastic-bender, but that would be a whole nother post....
Actually, I hate going to Qwik Lube. The guys there have cold hands *shiver* and they don't always wash up between cars *gag*. :)
*sigh*
My garage keeps a record of every oil change, tire rotation, and filter change I've had with them. When I go too long without regular maintenance, a computer program automatically sends me a letter to tell me it's time to come in.
"Oh, horrors! But your maintenance history is private. It's no body else's business what kind of oil you have in you."
Bleah. This is the 21st century. Life is much more complex. Each of us has literally hundreds of important dates and events to keep track of. Sure, I could stick a reminder note in my Palm, but why use up the memory when Quik Lube is so willing to use their own?
I like those little reminder notes. I don't mind sacrificing a little privacy if it keeps me from throwing a rod on I-10 during rush hour.
"But," you say, "there's a big difference between oil changes and some big evil corporation knowing what milk I buy!"
*snicker* See how stupid that sounds?
Sure, they have your personal information. What keeps it from being evil is the simple fact that most personal information is incredibly mundane and useless to anyone but me, just like my oil changes.
Face it -- to the rest of the world, the big evil government, and the big evil corporations, YOU ARE BORING. You are mere bytes in a database somewhere and the only interesting aspect of your existence is the question of where to store the backup tapes.
*giggle* You naughty monkey! You were just trying to get me to reply, weren't you? *bats eyelashes*
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: Put up the damn GameBoy and pay attention to the road!
One time, we were driving to a nearby mall. Two maps said that Bent Tree Drive made a sharp left curve. We're tooling along, looking for the sharp left curve so we know there's only two more miles to go.
Well wouldn't you know it? Bent Tree Drive has been under construction for a month. The sharp left curve is now a sharp right curve, followed by two sharp left curves.
There's an old saying: "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left." It had nothing to do with this.
Anyway, it's a good thing I was behind the wheel paying attention. Had I been expecting the sharp left curve, I would have driven the Cruiser into a lake. Fortunately, I made the right followed by two lefts and we all got to the mall safely.
In my humble opinion, something similar has happened to these scientists. Perhaps the prism was under construction. Maybe they didn't see the tiny detour signs or maybe some kids snuck off with them in the middle of the night. You know in the Road Runner cartoons when Wile E. Coyote turns the sign around? I'll bet that's what happened here.
In fact, I understand the scientists also painted a tunnel on the side of a mountain and the microwaves went right into it. See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. If they're really smart, they'll watch out for the oncoming train. It would be a shame if the train hit them and squashed them flat against the front before they could collect their Nobel prize.