First off, make sure you're white... it makes it much easier to justify why you're such a cracker.
Second, it takes lots of practice to make a really solid lie, so if you want a good lie, you'll need to work on your excuses... which kind of defeats the purpose so f%4k it.
Third, be a complete dick about everything... never justify lying, it takes too much energy.
If you ever wake up and think to yourself that life is perfect, it's possibly not for somebody else, so watch your ass... which of course is impossible if you want to lie.
If you wake up with a perfect body, lots of money, a nice car, a family, a beautiful wife/husband, an easy job that makes lots of money, you might be in for a rude awakening. Why? Once again you're living a lie. Don't ask me how it happens... all I know is that it does.
Fifth, always have a good spellchecker... if you don't you can end up looking like an idiot. This can really hurt. Little things that make you look imperfect are good targets.
Never tell the truth to the opposite sex no matter how much since it makes to do or even if they already know it. Why? The f$#king truth hurts. Then you'll be straight out of a girlfriend/boyfriend... not to mention you'll have to settle with a girl who knows the truth. What a bitch. Literally. This means for all you guys you can't tell them you're dating them for their looks and for all you women you're dating them for their money.
Putting up a "front" is "mas importante"... that's Spanish for important. So I've been told anyway.
Get really good at lying to yourself. It's the best... Never tell yourself the truth because the sh%t hurts...
For you really good liars out there, everything, and I mean everything about the truth hurts to the point of being ridiculous. Why? Because just like you liars, "truth tellers" are just like you except they have been put in a position that they are forced to "put out", so everything is tweaked for them to get the most out of it. So if you really want to get the most out of lying to someone, you must, and I repeat must, be a complete dick. Now the BEST liars do this with out consciously knowing it... thus getting more "bang for the buck" out of their lies. This is because truly could give a f%$k about anyone else. It's the best! I have to say, try it for yourself and see what I mean... it's great!
Oh... and if you get caught... Being naturally stupid really helps the situation. Why? You forget faster than average and thus get back to your main objective that much faster. It also really helps not to have a conscience also in this situation. So if you can see about finding a doctor stupid enough to get that part of your brain removed as soon as possible. If not, it could take years of training or tons and tons of time around "truth tellers" to get it finally right. Oh... you must also sometimes pretend you're a truth teller also in this situation . It's good to have "studied" the enemy. And surprisingly, there are a lot of them. Also, if you are not stupid, but your opponent thinks you are, use that to your advantage, it works great! I hope I'm not boring you more intelligent people with this rudimentary knowledge. See how I just played to your ego? It works perfectly with those who, deep down, know they are God, and everybody else is simply crazy. Wow!
Go to Church or Temple or whatever it is you're supposed to do... you'll hit "pay-dirt" with tons of idiots practicing stuff like "self-sacrifice". If you find one of those guys, you're SFL baby!
Being around massive quantities of women always helps your chances as well. They naturally excel as liars. The evidence is in asking them... they'll say no! Don't worry if you did not catch on to the last part...
Being in numbers also helps... sometimes you'll be in the midst of a liar So good that he can say a lie that will cover you at the same time... now that's a bonus!!! Just pretend you're with them... you might not want to tell them that you've said this though or they might call you out of it... after all, they're lying also.
Make sure you have plenty of money... for where your lies fail, your money will smooth things over... it's really a necessity.
Also, competition in lying... there is tons once people figure out the need to lie. If you find yourself in the midst of a better liar, sometimes it can be tough to keep your spirits up... but do! You see, you can learn from their lies, and then get better at them yourself! Sometimes you can get the "hang" out of a particular lie without taking tons and tons of time to learn it (like that person might have), so you in essence, steal their lies! It's really great!
Getting back to that Church thing... If you go to Church you can learn about miracles and thus blame all your really bad lies on the fact that they were part of a bigger plan. It works perfectly. At least it works good for me. Remember, "Everything happens for a reason!" I can't tell you how good this one works! First off for those stupid enough to believe it, they fall for it almost every time as long as you don't use it back to back, and for those who know better, they're so pissed at how you judged their intellect, they'll be stunned! (but only for a few seconds, so be quick to come up with something to take their mind off it and distract them from the fact your playing them)
Make sure you have plenty of excuses. The best excuses look self-evident. For example, walk into work with a fake broke leg. You get the point.
Situational Lying: This is where it gets advanced. Any given situation can turn into a "lie detector test". Make sure you can either bully your way out if caught, or you can put your lie out quick enough as the truth. Being naturally paranoid helps this situation as well. Remember that people conspire behind your back so always have a good lie ready. Furthermore, the more conspiracies you're in on, the better. They show what situations work best, given the strategy. If you suspect yourself the victim of a conspiracy, this is when your true lying skills really come into play the most. If you can't find your way out quickly, it's best to become part of your own conspiracy. This will confuse the stupider of your enemies and will give you time to get out scot-free. Remember, the deeper your lie the higher the probability you'll get caught. So start off small. (Just like weight training)
If you get caught: Keep your enemy happy. Distraction is key... especially if they have drugs to tell you the truth or a lie detector. It's survival of the best liar. Women once again have the best advantage here. They use sex as... and get this: weapon, I dare say AND a means to get out. Almost unbeatable, really. This is the very driver of most men's existence and so it works almost %100 percent of the time! Joy. This is proven by the small amount of women that make it into prison and very few are killed. Smart men know to use a woman as a means of defense, hence the phrase: "Take my wife, please!" If a woman catches you in a lie, tell them you learned it from them and then proceed to get very juvenile or senile. Then tell them they should be proud to know such a liar. (Remember, if you're a woman you should work on your looks more than your lie as it will help you facilitate any of the fore mentioned situations... you might find yourself at the command of your victim!!!)
Being physically fit can also help your lying in that it will keep you from getting caught. Also, people tend to be less harsh on these types of liars since they have a weapon.
Extremely advanced lying: Once again, I can't tell you how much material I have given you is true. After all, I myself am a liar and when in full practice I'm very deadly if I do say so myself. It is true possibly that my lying behavior has become too much of a "component" of my personality in that it affects everything I do, including this paper. Furthermore, a lot my lies are still "in the works", so some of this advice might work out your particular situation.... All I can say is if it's true, that's too bad for you. Also, remember the expiration date on the milk carton... you have to change up your lies in order to keep your lying a tool for survival.
Some of the consequences of lying: First and foremost is Hell. A mere possibility, but watch your back! Second, mental behavior facilities... believe you me, you don't want to end up there. So, if you have already started lying, watch your back because the people who work in these places tend to be liars themselves and love to play with their victim's minds and anything else that comes to light. What's worse is you become a victim of some stupid experiment. In this case you should behave as if you're the victim of a conspiracy, (but don't tell anyone). Experiments tend to behave exactly the same as conspiracies. Remember... once you've started lying, there's really no going back. This is proven once you tell somebody that you've lied to them. They will not treat you as an equal anymore and you will have lost all respect for you. (and in most cases, they'll let you know it... if they are smart anyway.) You can lose your job, your family, your life, and your money. Your entire life will be watched and analyzed, thus becoming part of some crazy freak show that people can look at, poke fun at, and feel generally better about themselves due to your getting caught. Wow! Suddenly you've made other people friends and have them come together as a click all due to your stupidity! And believe you me, clicks can hurt if you're not "in".
Some benefits of lying: Monetary growth. There's a lot of money to be made of being the best liar. Just look at the movie industry! Millions of dollars on what people have made up and at best a bunch of half-truths to keep you happy. Remember "fake it to you make it!" Women! Women love a good liar. (Actually, women fall in love with a good liar only to be disappointed... I can't tell you how many times I've been personally a disappointment.) Being a good liar is a sign of true stability in your life. I can't tell you how may women I've got simply by being a good liar! A happy outlook on life. Once you're convinced you've made a lie big enough. To fool everybody you need to, you can relax and laugh at all the suckers you've made!
Remember, right or wrong, people love to abuse other people. They'll even accuse you of abusing so they can further abuse you! It can get confusing so use every spare moment to "keep score". This is justification for lying enough! People will hit you for cursing! Does that help their outlook from your perspective? No! I've seen people really get an ass-kick from this situation. Remember, win people over with your money, looks and other seemingly quality aspects. When in a bad situation, always have dirt on somebody. This goes out of the bounds of being just a liar, but it's a great defense, so it would be selfish not to share it with you. It's a great defense. Just talk about their problems and you've got instant defense! This defense works on those who are smart enough to know what you're talking about, however, remember: Size up your opponent! Otherwise, you'll end up looking stupid. This works best with a lot of people around... make a crack on them that's so funny that it causes everybody to laugh uncontrollably and you've got instant success! Once again, this goes out of the bounds of merely lying, but is an excellent defense that not only wins friends with your humor, but hurts your enemy... all at the same time! Man! Now that's a bonus! Once again, wrong or right, people love to abuse people, and I have found very little to deter this situation "naturally".
Setting up your lies: It is essential to know your victim. Not everybody works on the same level of logic. Once again, there is reality and then there is your victim's perception of reality. If your victim knows what reality is, depending on how well they have this drilled into their head is one of the dependencies of setting your lie up. The better they are prepared the worse your chances of pulling off your lie. If they don't know what reality is, or are slightly off on their personal perception, or even better, they will not accept reality for personal reasons or beliefs the better your chances.
The impact of your lies: A lie's impact tends to vary depending on the situation. Watch out! If you victimize a clever individual or you don't know what your lie will do, your lie could end up backfiring on yourself. Also, lies can cause a "chain reaction" effect. This is described somewhat in the "abuse" section above. Making lies that produce really insecure situations for your victim is one affective aspect. The more ridiculous the situation you produce, the better.
Psychological impact of lying: If you find that lying works for you, more than likely, you'll make it a part of your life. You'll find how best to incorporate it into your lifestyle and use it to make things happen for you. If you receive nothing but positive impact from lying, see how lying helps others, or become really good at it, you'll want to keep it in your life. Only massive quantities of "negative enforcers" will deter you from using it, and then, these might, in the end, be a bad thing, I don't really know, but I fear the worst. Faced with this dilemma, some people try to fight the idea of assimilating bad behavior such as lying into their lives, but come to the realization that to much of the good lifestyle hurts and subsequently fail and revert... asking themselves, "Why did they even try?" Most people move through out their day with little thought to the long run consequences of their lying or are somewhat oblivious to it. (America, what a country) This, in a way, truly defines what freedom is, and sets the standard for things such as lifestyle and behavior.
Even discussion boards such as this one have been done in Flash format. Flash adds animation and many other attention getting features. Use Flash *correctly* and you'll have a cool site. At least I'll find it cool.
(Oh those watercooled notebooks are somethng else)
How to lie 101:
First off, make sure you're white... it makes it much easier to justify why you're such a cracker.
Second, it takes lots of practice to make a really solid lie, so if you want a good lie, you'll need to work on your excuses... which kind of defeats the purpose so f%4k it.
Third be a complete dick about everything... never justify lying, it takes too much energy.
If you ever wake up and think to yourself that life is perfect, it's possibly not for somebody else, so watch your ass... which of course is impossible if you want to lie.
If you wake up with a perfect body, lots of money, a nice car, a family, a beautiful wife/husband, an easy job that makes lots of money, you might be in for a rude awakening. Why? Once again you're living a lie. Don't ask me how it happens... all I know is that it does.
Fifth, always have a good spellchecker... if you don't you can end up looking like an idiot. This can really hurt.
Oh, never tell the truth to the opposite sex no matter how much since it makes to do or even if they already know it. Why? The f$#king truth hurts. Then you'll be straight out of a girlfriend/boyfriend... not to mention you'll have to settle with a girl who knows the truth. What a bitch. Literally. This means for all you guys you can't tell them you're dating them for their looks and for all you women you're dating them for their money.
Oh... putting up a "front" is "mas importante"... that's Spanish for important. So I've been told anyway.
Oh... get really good at lying to yourself. It's the best... Never tell yourself the truth because the sh%t hurts...
For you really good liars out there, everything, and I mean everything about the truth hurts to the point of being ridiculous. Why? Because just like you liars, "truth tellers" are just like you except they have been put in a position that they are forced to "put out", so everything is tweaked for them to get the most out of it. So if you really want to get the most out of lying to someone, you must, and I repeat must, be a complete dick. Now the BEST liars do this with out consciously knowing it... thus getting more "bang for the buck" out of their lies. This is because truly could give a f%$k about anyone else. It's the best! I have to say, try it for yourself and see what I mean... it's great!
Oh... and if you get caught... Being naturally stupid really helps the situation. Why? You forget faster than average and thus get back to your main objective that much faster. It also really helps not to have a conscience also in this situation. So if you can see about finding a doctor stupid enough to get that part of your brain removed as soon as possible. If not, it could take years of training or tons and tons of time around "truth tellers" to get it finally right. Oh... you must also sometimes pretend you're a truth teller also in this situation . It's good to have "studied" the enemy. And surprisingly, there are a lot of them. Also, if you are not stupid, but your opponent thinks you are, use that, it works great! I hope I'm not boring you more intelligent people with this rudimentary knowledge. See how I just played to your ego? It works perfectly with those who, deep down, know they are God, and everybody else is simply crazy. Wow!
Oh... go to Church or Temple or whatever it is you're supposed to do... you'll hit "pay-dirt" with tons of idiots practicing stuff like "self-sacrifice". If you find one of those guys, you're SFL baby!
Being around massive quantities of women always helps your chances as well. Thet naturally excel as liars. The evidence is in asking them... they'll say no! Don't worry if you did not catch on to the last part...
Being in numbers also helps... sometimes you'll be in the midst of a liar So good that he can say a lie that will cover you at the same time... now that's a bonus!!! Just pretend you're with them... you might not want to tell them that you've said this though or they might call you out of it... after all, they're lying also.
Oh... make sure you have plenty of money... for where your lies fail, your money will smooth things over... it's really a necessity.
Also, competition in lying... there is tons once people figure out the need to lie. If you find yourself in the midst of a better liar, sometimes it can be tough to keep your spirits up... but do! You see, you can learn from their lies, and then get better at them yourself! Sometimes you can get the "hang" out of a particular lie without taking tons and tons of time to learn it (like that person might have), so you in essence, steal their lies! It's really great!
Getting back to that Church thing... If you go to Church you can learn about miracles and thus blame all your really bad lies on the fact that they were part of a bigger plan. It works perfectly. At least it works good for me. Remember, "Everything happens for a reason!" I can't tell you how good this one works! First off for those stupid enough to believe it, they fall for it almost every time as long as you don't use it back to back, and for those who know better, they're so pissed at how you judged their intellect, they'll be stunned! (but only for a few seconds, so be quick to come up with something to take their mind off it and distract them from the fact your playing them)
Make sure you have plenty of excuses. The best excuses look self-evident. For example, walk into work with a fake broke leg. You get the point.
Situational Lying: This is where it gets advanced. Any given situation can turn into a "lie detector test". Make sure you can either bully your way out if caught, or you can put your lie out quick enough as the truth. Being naturally paranoid helps this situation as well. Remember, people conspire behind your back so always have a good lie ready. Furthermore, the more conspiracies you're in on, the better. They show what situations work best, given the strategy. If you suspect yourself the victim of a conspiracy, this is when your true lying skills really come into play the most. If you can't find your way out quickly, it's best to become part of your own conspiracy. This will confuse the stupider of your enemies and will give you time to get out scot-free. Remember, the deeper your lie the higher the probability you'll get caught. So start off small. (Just like weight training)
If you get caught: Keep your enemy happy. Distraction is key... especially if they have drugs to tell you the truth or a lie detector. It's survival of the best liar. Women once again have the best advantage here. They use sex as... and get this: weapon, I dare say AND a means to get out. Almost unbeatable, really. This is the very driver of most men's existence and so it works almost %100 percent of the time! Joy. This is proven by the small amount of women that make it into prison and very few are killed. Smart men know to use a woman as a means of defense, hence the phrase: "Take my wife, please!" If a woman catches you in a lie, tell them you learned it from them and then proceed to get very juvenile or senile. Then tell them they should be proud to know such a liar. (Remember, if you're a woman you should work on your looks more than your lie as it will help you facilitate any of the fore mentioned situations... you might find yourself at the command of your victim!!!)
Being physically fit can also help your lying in that it will keep you from getting caught. Also, people tend to be less harsh on these types of liars since they have a weapon.
Extremely advanced lying: Once again, I can't tell you how much material I have given you is true. After all, I myself am a liar and when in full practice I'm very deadly if I do say so myself. It is true possibly that my lying behavior has become too much of a "component" of my personality in that it affects everything I do, including this paper. Furthermore, a lot my lies are still "in the works", so some of this advice might work out your particular situation.... All I can say is if it's true, that's too bad for you. Also, remember the expiration date on the milk carton... you have to change up your lies in order to keep your lying a tool for survival.
Some of the consequences of lying: First and foremost is Hell. A mere possibility, but watch your back! Second, mental behavior facilities... believe you me, you don't want to end up there. So, if you have already started lying, watch your back because the people who work in these places tend to be liars themselves and love to play with their victim's minds and anything else that comes to light. What's worse is you become a victim of some stupid experiment. In this case you should behave as if you're the victim of a conspiracy, (but don't tell anyone). Experiments tend to behave exactly the same as conspiracies. Remember, once you've started lying, there's really no going back. This is proven once you tell somebody that you've lied to them. They will not treat you as an equal anymore and you will have lost all respect for you. (and in most cases, they'll let you know it... if they are smart anyway.) You can lose your job, your family, your life, and your money. Your entire life will be watched and analyzed, thus becoming part of some crazy freak show that people can look at, poke fun at, and feel generally better about themselves due to your getting caught. Wow! Suddenly you've made other people friends and have them come together as a click all due to your stupidity! And believe you me, clicks can hurt if you're not "in".
Some benefits of lying: Monetary growth. There's a lot of money to be made of being the best liar. Just look at the movie industry! Millions of dollars on what people have made up and at best a bunch of half-truths to keep you happy. Remember "fake it to you make it!" Women! Women love a good liar. (Actually, women fall in love with a good liar only to be disappointed... I can't tell you how many times I've been personally a disappointment.) Being a good liar is a sign of true stability in your life. I can't tell you how may women I've got simply by being a good liar! A happy outlook on life. Once your convinced you've made a lie big enough. To fool everybody you need to, you can relax and laugh at all the suckers you've made!
Remember, right or wrong, people love to abuse other people. They'll even accuse you of abusing so they can further abuse you! It can get confusing so use every spare moment to "keep score". This is justification for lying enough! People will hit you for cursing! Does that help their outlook from your perspective? No! I've seen people really get an ass-kick from this situation. Remember, win people over with your money, looks and other seemingly quality aspects. When in a bad situation, always have dirt on somebody. This goes out of the bounds of being just a liar, but it's a great defense, so it would be selfish not to share it with you. It's a great defense. Just talk about their problems and you've got instant defense! This defense works on those smart enough to know what you're talking about, however, remember: Size up your opponent! Otherwise, you'll end up looking stupid. This works best with a lot of people around... make a crack on them that's so funny that it causes everybody to laugh uncontrollably and you've got instant success! Once again, this goes out of the bounds of merely lying, but is an excellent defense that not only wins friends with your humor, but hurts your enemy... all at the same time! Man! Now that's a bonus!
Any questions or for more advise on how to play somebody, be played yourself, or more lying tips, you can e-mail me at: Tyler@McAdams.com
I want to see OS X bencmarks with the dual 1ghz G4 vs... say a Dual AMD machine with Photoshop 6.0. Somebody needs to put there money where their mouth is in my opinion. I've got a P4 1.7 and a dual 533 G4 system at home... the P4 has 512MB of DDR ram with a R8500 graphics card and an ATA/100 drive... the G4 has 1.5Gigs of ram and a SCSI 160 drive. It better blow the doors os my P4... I'm so tired of these benchmarks! My OS X system is still slow and does not always work correctly and is almost useless in productivity compaired to my PC sometimes. I want a good Apple system... that's why I'm hard on it but I'm looking for something I can also get stuff done on. Once again Jobs, I'm all for you, but pit your money where your mouth is!
Please... Do you really think IBM would emulate x86 Linux on a mainframe? God, I thought I was a cracker. Anyway, it's called OS/390 Linux. It's made for... OS/390's and you can pick it up at SuSE or RedHat's website. The great thing about these systems is that you can run many operating systems on one box. I'm not too sure, but I'm guessing z/VM is what allows this. And no, it's not an emulator. Why would you emulate x86 Linux anyway? Why not LinuxPPC for that matter? x86 Linux is like DOS made to run on dirt cheap hardware. Would you like to see what Linux can REALLY do? Check it out on an os/390...
New engine ehh? -Oh yeah... that means this thing's been ragged out like my mom in a junior high crackfest...
"Heavily modified"... Car lingo for: "Yeah.. we run drugs..."
"you will swear you're in a top fuel dragster as the car geometrically accelerates to a top speed of 200 mph..." Yeah... down hill in tropical storm bertha..
"A 10% non-refundable deposit will be required within 48 hours, and the balance must be paid within 5 working days..." Translation: My swiss bank account has mad interest so get yo ass a job
"This is the most awesome Ferrari Testarossa you'll ever see." You.. have... *seen* a Ferrari... right?
"Inside the car, add-ons include a cell phone, a Kenwood CD player, woofer-speaker box, and front and rear radar detectors." Golly gee really?
"The floor mats are slightly worn as are the edges of the seats, but there are no tears or cuts anywhere inside." -Translation: Hey! I know your girlfriend... eh..
"The rest of the body is just beautiful."...but you'll see those sides after you pick it up, heh...
"Amazing handling & smooth ride" -You've... never felt the clutch on a sports car have you?....
I work for IBM's number one IGS account, Federated Systems Group... The Federated Deparment Stores... you might have heard of them... Macy's, Bloomindales, Bom Marche.. etc. Anyway, I work on the Mainframe help desk, and we are open 24x7x365. I choose this to work rather than to work new year's so I could party a little. (Don't get me wrong, I miss my family, but hey, I'm only 26 once.) It's actually, very slow... no calls hardly at all, thank God. The only thing we really have to do is administrative duties so it's going to be boring... but I don't care.
!0 miles away on the same coast line...
on
New Deep Sea Squid
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· Score: 0
...she said: "he had his arms all over me... he just wouldn't let go... A completely unrelated issue, of course.
Nobody knows everything and can do everything. If that were the case there would be no barber (wait bad example) or mechanic. People learn their job from their father (a japanese cultured idea) or at college. There is nothing holding these kids back from living a regular life by banking on their Autism.
I'd like to run Linux on my P4 box I'm in the middle of building.. but what advantages are there? (over XP) I hate trying to figure out how to install new software or drivers with the command line... I'm really new to the idea but I like it and would want to know how to do this. Last time I tried (and failed) to make my P3 a linux rig, I got stuck trying to add my secong monitor.. Instead of "auto detect" it defaults to the pci video card and leaves the agp monitor blank. What a bitch. What's new with 2.5 that will make my life easier? There is really nothing leaving me on XP but palm support and office... and maybe photoshop. Well?
We have a room set up as a "computer room"... Three computers on a lan. We are luck in the fact that the house is wired with rj-45 so making the entire house into one network for every room will not be a problem. Just add a hub outside at the phone connection box, add in a power cable for the hub and presto.
There's just something about buying and owning your own software that makes me feel better about myself than when I get it pirated. I feel like such a dick aftre thinking about the app I have and how hard they are to make... I can't help but erase them off my drive after a friend has passed them on to me from no doubt some other pirate... If it came directly to me from the company, that would be different.. case in point, I got a free copy of office 2000 when selling software for TigerDirect. (Hry it's microsoft... a billionare's software should come free anyway... Have a heart Bill!) Another case where a gray line was drawn was the first time Macromedia sent me a copy of there apps... back when Flash3 was out... I got ALL of the software they made on one disk... WITHOUT demo mode... the full apps. Still I felt bad and dropped the cd in the trash and erased the apps off my drive... It had to be a mistake! When photoshop 7 comes out, I'll be buying it in full version since I don't have a real copy of my own. The problem will be this, my friend will want a piece of it. The first defense is that it will be on my Mac, not my win machine since most of the world uses windows, and my second defense will be not telling anybody. Sorry.
I have a point in the middle of my vision in both eyes where I can't see... similar to macular degeneration... perhaps this will lead to the growth of cones and rods transplants... I want my vision back!!!
once again, I would have to agree with you on constants... even the speed of light is not a constant in the most liberal of constraints. Light through anything but a vacuum.
Slashdot Mirror
Lying 101:
First off, make sure you're white... it makes it much easier to justify why you're such a cracker.
Second, it takes lots of practice to make a really solid lie, so if you want a good lie, you'll need to work on your excuses... which kind of defeats the purpose so f%4k it.
Third, be a complete dick about everything... never justify lying, it takes too much energy.
If you ever wake up and think to yourself that life is perfect, it's possibly not for somebody else, so watch your ass... which of course is impossible if you want to lie.
If you wake up with a perfect body, lots of money, a nice car, a family, a beautiful wife/husband, an easy job that makes lots of money, you might be in for a rude awakening. Why? Once again you're living a lie. Don't ask me how it happens... all I know is that it does.
Fifth, always have a good spellchecker... if you don't you can end up looking like an idiot. This can really hurt. Little things that make you look imperfect are good targets.
Never tell the truth to the opposite sex no matter how much since it makes to do or even if they already know it. Why? The f$#king truth hurts. Then you'll be straight out of a girlfriend/boyfriend... not to mention you'll have to settle with a girl who knows the truth. What a bitch. Literally. This means for all you guys you can't tell them you're dating them for their looks and for all you women you're dating them for their money.
Putting up a "front" is "mas importante"... that's Spanish for important. So I've been told anyway.
Get really good at lying to yourself. It's the best... Never tell yourself the truth because the sh%t hurts...
For you really good liars out there, everything, and I mean everything about the truth hurts to the point of being ridiculous. Why? Because just like you liars, "truth tellers" are just like you except they have been put in a position that they are forced to "put out", so everything is tweaked for them to get the most out of it. So if you really want to get the most out of lying to someone, you must, and I repeat must, be a complete dick. Now the BEST liars do this with out consciously knowing it... thus getting more "bang for the buck" out of their lies. This is because truly could give a f%$k about anyone else. It's the best! I have to say, try it for yourself and see what I mean... it's great!
Oh... and if you get caught... Being naturally stupid really helps the situation. Why? You forget faster than average and thus get back to your main objective that much faster. It also really helps not to have a conscience also in this situation. So if you can see about finding a doctor stupid enough to get that part of your brain removed as soon as possible. If not, it could take years of training or tons and tons of time around "truth tellers" to get it finally right. Oh... you must also sometimes pretend you're a truth teller also in this situation . It's good to have "studied" the enemy. And surprisingly, there are a lot of them. Also, if you are not stupid, but your opponent thinks you are, use that to your advantage, it works great! I hope I'm not boring you more intelligent people with this rudimentary knowledge. See how I just played to your ego? It works perfectly with those who, deep down, know they are God, and everybody else is simply crazy. Wow!
Go to Church or Temple or whatever it is you're supposed to do... you'll hit "pay-dirt" with tons of idiots practicing stuff like "self-sacrifice". If you find one of those guys, you're SFL baby!
Being around massive quantities of women always helps your chances as well. They naturally excel as liars. The evidence is in asking them... they'll say no! Don't worry if you did not catch on to the last part...
Being in numbers also helps... sometimes you'll be in the midst of a liar So good that he can say a lie that will cover you at the same time... now that's a bonus!!! Just pretend you're with them... you might not want to tell them that you've said this though or they might call you out of it... after all, they're lying also.
Make sure you have plenty of money... for where your lies fail, your money will smooth things over... it's really a necessity.
Also, competition in lying... there is tons once people figure out the need to lie. If you find yourself in the midst of a better liar, sometimes it can be tough to keep your spirits up... but do! You see, you can learn from their lies, and then get better at them yourself! Sometimes you can get the "hang" out of a particular lie without taking tons and tons of time to learn it (like that person might have), so you in essence, steal their lies! It's really great!
Getting back to that Church thing... If you go to Church you can learn about miracles and thus blame all your really bad lies on the fact that they were part of a bigger plan. It works perfectly. At least it works good for me. Remember, "Everything happens for a reason!" I can't tell you how good this one works! First off for those stupid enough to believe it, they fall for it almost every time as long as you don't use it back to back, and for those who know better, they're so pissed at how you judged their intellect, they'll be stunned! (but only for a few seconds, so be quick to come up with something to take their mind off it and distract them from the fact your playing them)
Make sure you have plenty of excuses. The best excuses look self-evident. For example, walk into work with a fake broke leg. You get the point.
Situational Lying: This is where it gets advanced. Any given situation can turn into a "lie detector test". Make sure you can either bully your way out if caught, or you can put your lie out quick enough as the truth. Being naturally paranoid helps this situation as well. Remember that people conspire behind your back so always have a good lie ready. Furthermore, the more conspiracies you're in on, the better. They show what situations work best, given the strategy. If you suspect yourself the victim of a conspiracy, this is when your true lying skills really come into play the most. If you can't find your way out quickly, it's best to become part of your own conspiracy. This will confuse the stupider of your enemies and will give you time to get out scot-free. Remember, the deeper your lie the higher the probability you'll get caught. So start off small. (Just like weight training)
If you get caught: Keep your enemy happy. Distraction is key... especially if they have drugs to tell you the truth or a lie detector. It's survival of the best liar. Women once again have the best advantage here. They use sex as... and get this: weapon, I dare say AND a means to get out. Almost unbeatable, really. This is the very driver of most men's existence and so it works almost %100 percent of the time! Joy. This is proven by the small amount of women that make it into prison and very few are killed. Smart men know to use a woman as a means of defense, hence the phrase: "Take my wife, please!" If a woman catches you in a lie, tell them you learned it from them and then proceed to get very juvenile or senile. Then tell them they should be proud to know such a liar. (Remember, if you're a woman you should work on your looks more than your lie as it will help you facilitate any of the fore mentioned situations... you might find yourself at the command of your victim!!!)
Being physically fit can also help your lying in that it will keep you from getting caught. Also, people tend to be less harsh on these types of liars since they have a weapon.
Extremely advanced lying: Once again, I can't tell you how much material I have given you is true. After all, I myself am a liar and when in full practice I'm very deadly if I do say so myself. It is true possibly that my lying behavior has become too much of a "component" of my personality in that it affects everything I do, including this paper. Furthermore, a lot my lies are still "in the works", so some of this advice might work out your particular situation.... All I can say is if it's true, that's too bad for you. Also, remember the expiration date on the milk carton... you have to change up your lies in order to keep your lying a tool for survival.
Some of the consequences of lying: First and foremost is Hell. A mere possibility, but watch your back! Second, mental behavior facilities... believe you me, you don't want to end up there. So, if you have already started lying, watch your back because the people who work in these places tend to be liars themselves and love to play with their victim's minds and anything else that comes to light. What's worse is you become a victim of some stupid experiment. In this case you should behave as if you're the victim of a conspiracy, (but don't tell anyone). Experiments tend to behave exactly the same as conspiracies. Remember... once you've started lying, there's really no going back. This is proven once you tell somebody that you've lied to them. They will not treat you as an equal anymore and you will have lost all respect for you. (and in most cases, they'll let you know it... if they are smart anyway.) You can lose your job, your family, your life, and your money. Your entire life will be watched and analyzed, thus becoming part of some crazy freak show that people can look at, poke fun at, and feel generally better about themselves due to your getting caught. Wow! Suddenly you've made other people friends and have them come together as a click all due to your stupidity! And believe you me, clicks can hurt if you're not "in".
Some benefits of lying: Monetary growth. There's a lot of money to be made of being the best liar. Just look at the movie industry! Millions of dollars on what people have made up and at best a bunch of half-truths to keep you happy. Remember "fake it to you make it!" Women! Women love a good liar. (Actually, women fall in love with a good liar only to be disappointed... I can't tell you how many times I've been personally a disappointment.) Being a good liar is a sign of true stability in your life. I can't tell you how may women I've got simply by being a good liar! A happy outlook on life. Once you're convinced you've made a lie big enough. To fool everybody you need to, you can relax and laugh at all the suckers you've made!
Remember, right or wrong, people love to abuse other people. They'll even accuse you of abusing so they can further abuse you! It can get confusing so use every spare moment to "keep score". This is justification for lying enough! People will hit you for cursing! Does that help their outlook from your perspective? No! I've seen people really get an ass-kick from this situation. Remember, win people over with your money, looks and other seemingly quality aspects. When in a bad situation, always have dirt on somebody. This goes out of the bounds of being just a liar, but it's a great defense, so it would be selfish not to share it with you. It's a great defense. Just talk about their problems and you've got instant defense! This defense works on those who are smart enough to know what you're talking about, however, remember: Size up your opponent! Otherwise, you'll end up looking stupid. This works best with a lot of people around... make a crack on them that's so funny that it causes everybody to laugh uncontrollably and you've got instant success! Once again, this goes out of the bounds of merely lying, but is an excellent defense that not only wins friends with your humor, but hurts your enemy... all at the same time! Man! Now that's a bonus! Once again, wrong or right, people love to abuse people, and I have found very little to deter this situation "naturally".
Setting up your lies: It is essential to know your victim. Not everybody works on the same level of logic. Once again, there is reality and then there is your victim's perception of reality. If your victim knows what reality is, depending on how well they have this drilled into their head is one of the dependencies of setting your lie up. The better they are prepared the worse your chances of pulling off your lie. If they don't know what reality is, or are slightly off on their personal perception, or even better, they will not accept reality for personal reasons or beliefs the better your chances.
The impact of your lies: A lie's impact tends to vary depending on the situation. Watch out! If you victimize a clever individual or you don't know what your lie will do, your lie could end up backfiring on yourself. Also, lies can cause a "chain reaction" effect. This is described somewhat in the "abuse" section above. Making lies that produce really insecure situations for your victim is one affective aspect. The more ridiculous the situation you produce, the better.
Psychological impact of lying: If you find that lying works for you, more than likely, you'll make it a part of your life. You'll find how best to incorporate it into your lifestyle and use it to make things happen for you. If you receive nothing but positive impact from lying, see how lying helps others, or become really good at it, you'll want to keep it in your life. Only massive quantities of "negative enforcers" will deter you from using it, and then, these might, in the end, be a bad thing, I don't really know, but I fear the worst. Faced with this dilemma, some people try to fight the idea of assimilating bad behavior such as lying into their lives, but come to the realization that to much of the good lifestyle hurts and subsequently fail and revert... asking themselves, "Why did they even try?" Most people move through out their day with little thought to the long run consequences of their lying or are somewhat oblivious to it. (America, what a country) This, in a way, truly defines what freedom is, and sets the standard for things such as lifestyle and behavior.
Even discussion boards such as this one have been done in Flash format. Flash adds animation and many other attention getting features. Use Flash *correctly* and you'll have a cool site. At least I'll find it cool.
Here's something helpful for everybody:
(Oh those watercooled notebooks are somethng else)
How to lie 101:
First off, make sure you're white... it makes it much easier to justify why you're such a cracker.
Second, it takes lots of practice to make a really solid lie, so if you want a good lie, you'll need to work on your excuses... which kind of defeats the purpose so f%4k it.
Third be a complete dick about everything... never justify lying, it takes too much energy.
If you ever wake up and think to yourself that life is perfect, it's possibly not for somebody else, so watch your ass... which of course is impossible if you want to lie.
If you wake up with a perfect body, lots of money, a nice car, a family, a beautiful wife/husband, an easy job that makes lots of money, you might be in for a rude awakening. Why? Once again you're living a lie. Don't ask me how it happens... all I know is that it does.
Fifth, always have a good spellchecker... if you don't you can end up looking like an idiot. This can really hurt.
Oh, never tell the truth to the opposite sex no matter how much since it makes to do or even if they already know it. Why? The f$#king truth hurts. Then you'll be straight out of a girlfriend/boyfriend... not to mention you'll have to settle with a girl who knows the truth. What a bitch. Literally. This means for all you guys you can't tell them you're dating them for their looks and for all you women you're dating them for their money.
Oh... putting up a "front" is "mas importante"... that's Spanish for important. So I've been told anyway.
Oh... get really good at lying to yourself. It's the best... Never tell yourself the truth because the sh%t hurts...
For you really good liars out there, everything, and I mean everything about the truth hurts to the point of being ridiculous. Why? Because just like you liars, "truth tellers" are just like you except they have been put in a position that they are forced to "put out", so everything is tweaked for them to get the most out of it. So if you really want to get the most out of lying to someone, you must, and I repeat must, be a complete dick. Now the BEST liars do this with out consciously knowing it... thus getting more "bang for the buck" out of their lies. This is because truly could give a f%$k about anyone else. It's the best! I have to say, try it for yourself and see what I mean... it's great!
Oh... and if you get caught... Being naturally stupid really helps the situation. Why? You forget faster than average and thus get back to your main objective that much faster. It also really helps not to have a conscience also in this situation. So if you can see about finding a doctor stupid enough to get that part of your brain removed as soon as possible. If not, it could take years of training or tons and tons of time around "truth tellers" to get it finally right. Oh... you must also sometimes pretend you're a truth teller also in this situation . It's good to have "studied" the enemy. And surprisingly, there are a lot of them. Also, if you are not stupid, but your opponent thinks you are, use that, it works great! I hope I'm not boring you more intelligent people with this rudimentary knowledge. See how I just played to your ego? It works perfectly with those who, deep down, know they are God, and everybody else is simply crazy. Wow!
Oh... go to Church or Temple or whatever it is you're supposed to do... you'll hit "pay-dirt" with tons of idiots practicing stuff like "self-sacrifice". If you find one of those guys, you're SFL baby!
Being around massive quantities of women always helps your chances as well. Thet naturally excel as liars. The evidence is in asking them... they'll say no! Don't worry if you did not catch on to the last part...
Being in numbers also helps... sometimes you'll be in the midst of a liar So good that he can say a lie that will cover you at the same time... now that's a bonus!!! Just pretend you're with them... you might not want to tell them that you've said this though or they might call you out of it... after all, they're lying also.
Oh... make sure you have plenty of money... for where your lies fail, your money will smooth things over... it's really a necessity.
Also, competition in lying... there is tons once people figure out the need to lie. If you find yourself in the midst of a better liar, sometimes it can be tough to keep your spirits up... but do! You see, you can learn from their lies, and then get better at them yourself! Sometimes you can get the "hang" out of a particular lie without taking tons and tons of time to learn it (like that person might have), so you in essence, steal their lies! It's really great!
Getting back to that Church thing... If you go to Church you can learn about miracles and thus blame all your really bad lies on the fact that they were part of a bigger plan. It works perfectly. At least it works good for me. Remember, "Everything happens for a reason!" I can't tell you how good this one works! First off for those stupid enough to believe it, they fall for it almost every time as long as you don't use it back to back, and for those who know better, they're so pissed at how you judged their intellect, they'll be stunned! (but only for a few seconds, so be quick to come up with something to take their mind off it and distract them from the fact your playing them)
Make sure you have plenty of excuses. The best excuses look self-evident. For example, walk into work with a fake broke leg. You get the point.
Situational Lying: This is where it gets advanced. Any given situation can turn into a "lie detector test". Make sure you can either bully your way out if caught, or you can put your lie out quick enough as the truth. Being naturally paranoid helps this situation as well. Remember, people conspire behind your back so always have a good lie ready. Furthermore, the more conspiracies you're in on, the better. They show what situations work best, given the strategy. If you suspect yourself the victim of a conspiracy, this is when your true lying skills really come into play the most. If you can't find your way out quickly, it's best to become part of your own conspiracy. This will confuse the stupider of your enemies and will give you time to get out scot-free. Remember, the deeper your lie the higher the probability you'll get caught. So start off small. (Just like weight training)
If you get caught: Keep your enemy happy. Distraction is key... especially if they have drugs to tell you the truth or a lie detector. It's survival of the best liar. Women once again have the best advantage here. They use sex as... and get this: weapon, I dare say AND a means to get out. Almost unbeatable, really. This is the very driver of most men's existence and so it works almost %100 percent of the time! Joy. This is proven by the small amount of women that make it into prison and very few are killed. Smart men know to use a woman as a means of defense, hence the phrase: "Take my wife, please!" If a woman catches you in a lie, tell them you learned it from them and then proceed to get very juvenile or senile. Then tell them they should be proud to know such a liar. (Remember, if you're a woman you should work on your looks more than your lie as it will help you facilitate any of the fore mentioned situations... you might find yourself at the command of your victim!!!)
Being physically fit can also help your lying in that it will keep you from getting caught. Also, people tend to be less harsh on these types of liars since they have a weapon.
Extremely advanced lying: Once again, I can't tell you how much material I have given you is true. After all, I myself am a liar and when in full practice I'm very deadly if I do say so myself. It is true possibly that my lying behavior has become too much of a "component" of my personality in that it affects everything I do, including this paper. Furthermore, a lot my lies are still "in the works", so some of this advice might work out your particular situation.... All I can say is if it's true, that's too bad for you. Also, remember the expiration date on the milk carton... you have to change up your lies in order to keep your lying a tool for survival.
Some of the consequences of lying: First and foremost is Hell. A mere possibility, but watch your back! Second, mental behavior facilities... believe you me, you don't want to end up there. So, if you have already started lying, watch your back because the people who work in these places tend to be liars themselves and love to play with their victim's minds and anything else that comes to light. What's worse is you become a victim of some stupid experiment. In this case you should behave as if you're the victim of a conspiracy, (but don't tell anyone). Experiments tend to behave exactly the same as conspiracies. Remember, once you've started lying, there's really no going back. This is proven once you tell somebody that you've lied to them. They will not treat you as an equal anymore and you will have lost all respect for you. (and in most cases, they'll let you know it... if they are smart anyway.) You can lose your job, your family, your life, and your money. Your entire life will be watched and analyzed, thus becoming part of some crazy freak show that people can look at, poke fun at, and feel generally better about themselves due to your getting caught. Wow! Suddenly you've made other people friends and have them come together as a click all due to your stupidity! And believe you me, clicks can hurt if you're not "in".
Some benefits of lying: Monetary growth. There's a lot of money to be made of being the best liar. Just look at the movie industry! Millions of dollars on what people have made up and at best a bunch of half-truths to keep you happy. Remember "fake it to you make it!" Women! Women love a good liar. (Actually, women fall in love with a good liar only to be disappointed... I can't tell you how many times I've been personally a disappointment.) Being a good liar is a sign of true stability in your life. I can't tell you how may women I've got simply by being a good liar! A happy outlook on life. Once your convinced you've made a lie big enough. To fool everybody you need to, you can relax and laugh at all the suckers you've made!
Remember, right or wrong, people love to abuse other people. They'll even accuse you of abusing so they can further abuse you! It can get confusing so use every spare moment to "keep score". This is justification for lying enough! People will hit you for cursing! Does that help their outlook from your perspective? No! I've seen people really get an ass-kick from this situation. Remember, win people over with your money, looks and other seemingly quality aspects. When in a bad situation, always have dirt on somebody. This goes out of the bounds of being just a liar, but it's a great defense, so it would be selfish not to share it with you. It's a great defense. Just talk about their problems and you've got instant defense! This defense works on those smart enough to know what you're talking about, however, remember: Size up your opponent! Otherwise, you'll end up looking stupid. This works best with a lot of people around... make a crack on them that's so funny that it causes everybody to laugh uncontrollably and you've got instant success! Once again, this goes out of the bounds of merely lying, but is an excellent defense that not only wins friends with your humor, but hurts your enemy... all at the same time! Man! Now that's a bonus!
Any questions or for more advise on how to play somebody, be played yourself, or more lying tips, you can e-mail me at: Tyler@McAdams.com
Thanks, and good luck!
I want to see OS X bencmarks with the dual 1ghz G4 vs... say a Dual AMD machine with Photoshop 6.0. Somebody needs to put there money where their mouth is in my opinion. I've got a P4 1.7 and a dual 533 G4 system at home... the P4 has 512MB of DDR ram with a R8500 graphics card and an ATA/100 drive... the G4 has 1.5Gigs of ram and a SCSI 160 drive. It better blow the doors os my P4... I'm so tired of these benchmarks! My OS X system is still slow and does not always work correctly and is almost useless in productivity compaired to my PC sometimes. I want a good Apple system... that's why I'm hard on it but I'm looking for something I can also get stuff done on. Once again Jobs, I'm all for you, but pit your money where your mouth is!
Ok... what about Mac OS X? More popular than any linux distro.
Please... Do you really think IBM would emulate x86 Linux on a mainframe? God, I thought I was a cracker. Anyway, it's called OS/390 Linux. It's made for... OS/390's and you can pick it up at SuSE or RedHat's website. The great thing about these systems is that you can run many operating systems on one box. I'm not too sure, but I'm guessing z/VM is what allows this. And no, it's not an emulator. Why would you emulate x86 Linux anyway? Why not LinuxPPC for that matter? x86 Linux is like DOS made to run on dirt cheap hardware. Would you like to see what Linux can REALLY do? Check it out on an os/390...
New engine ehh? -Oh yeah... that means this thing's been ragged out like my mom in a junior high crackfest...
...but you'll see those sides after you pick it up, heh...
"Heavily modified"... Car lingo for: "Yeah.. we run drugs..."
"you will swear you're in a top fuel dragster as the car geometrically accelerates to a top speed of 200 mph..." Yeah... down hill in tropical storm bertha..
"A 10% non-refundable deposit will be required within 48 hours, and the balance must be paid within 5 working days..." Translation: My swiss bank account has mad interest so get yo ass a job
"This is the most awesome Ferrari Testarossa you'll ever see." You.. have... *seen* a Ferrari... right?
"Inside the car, add-ons include a cell phone, a Kenwood CD player, woofer-speaker box, and front and rear radar detectors." Golly gee really?
"The floor mats are slightly worn as are the edges of the seats, but there are no tears or cuts anywhere inside." -Translation: Hey! I know your girlfriend... eh..
"The rest of the body is just beautiful."
"Amazing handling & smooth ride" -You've... never felt the clutch on a sports car have you?....
Offtopic but right on point! thanks!
Honto desu ne... !?
Nice, very nice.
I work for IBM's number one IGS account, Federated Systems Group... The Federated Deparment Stores... you might have heard of them... Macy's, Bloomindales, Bom Marche.. etc. Anyway, I work on the Mainframe help desk, and we are open 24x7x365. I choose this to work rather than to work new year's so I could party a little. (Don't get me wrong, I miss my family, but hey, I'm only 26 once.) It's actually, very slow... no calls hardly at all, thank God. The only thing we really have to do is administrative duties so it's going to be boring... but I don't care.
...she said: "he had his arms all over me... he just wouldn't let go... A completely unrelated issue, of course.
I would have never guessed. Let see, is there anything these guys did not invent? The gui... Xerox... graffiti.... Xerox hmmm
What we need to do is replace football watching mindless humans with ones that play instead of watch. After that, there will be alot less of both.
Nobody knows everything and can do everything. If that were the case there would be no barber (wait bad example) or mechanic. People learn their job from their father (a japanese cultured idea) or at college. There is nothing holding these kids back from living a regular life by banking on their Autism.
I'd like to run Linux on my P4 box I'm in the middle of building.. but what advantages are there? (over XP) I hate trying to figure out how to install new software or drivers with the command line... I'm really new to the idea but I like it and would want to know how to do this. Last time I tried (and failed) to make my P3 a linux rig, I got stuck trying to add my secong monitor.. Instead of "auto detect" it defaults to the pci video card and leaves the agp monitor blank. What a bitch. What's new with 2.5 that will make my life easier? There is really nothing leaving me on XP but palm support and office... and maybe photoshop. Well?
*Anything* you pay for is a security problem.
We have a room set up as a "computer room"... Three computers on a lan. We are luck in the fact that the house is wired with rj-45 so making the entire house into one network for every room will not be a problem. Just add a hub outside at the phone connection box, add in a power cable for the hub and presto.
Look no further than the north and south poles of mars to find ice. Is this been re-iterated to excite new scifi newbies? Hmm. Yes.
There's just something about buying and owning your own software that makes me feel better about myself than when I get it pirated. I feel like such a dick aftre thinking about the app I have and how hard they are to make... I can't help but erase them off my drive after a friend has passed them on to me from no doubt some other pirate... If it came directly to me from the company, that would be different.. case in point, I got a free copy of office 2000 when selling software for TigerDirect. (Hry it's microsoft... a billionare's software should come free anyway... Have a heart Bill!) Another case where a gray line was drawn was the first time Macromedia sent me a copy of there apps... back when Flash3 was out... I got ALL of the software they made on one disk... WITHOUT demo mode... the full apps. Still I felt bad and dropped the cd in the trash and erased the apps off my drive... It had to be a mistake! When photoshop 7 comes out, I'll be buying it in full version since I don't have a real copy of my own. The problem will be this, my friend will want a piece of it. The first defense is that it will be on my Mac, not my win machine since most of the world uses windows, and my second defense will be not telling anybody. Sorry.
I have a point in the middle of my vision in both eyes where I can't see... similar to macular degeneration... perhaps this will lead to the growth of cones and rods transplants... I want my vision back!!!
Supposed to 64bit with 32bit back compat. But like you said.. wat to many rumors... like this one: a 400mhz bus... the newest spec I've seen.
And I'm really not sure about that!
Now if i just had enough money...
once again, I would have to agree with you on constants... even the speed of light is not a constant in the most liberal of constraints. Light through anything but a vacuum.