Actually, if we had a low-orbital beam weapon, there are several key facts to remember.
The beam weapon will have been designed by a committee
The designing committee will have been government funded
The beam weapon will have been built by the lowest bidder
The weapon will have been placed in space by NASA
The weapon will be aimed by someone who thinks their computer is a TV connected to a hard drive, with a typewriter for input
The weapon will be aimed using a server running Windows NT
The end result? If it doesn't explode horribly on first use, showering the earth with radioactive debris, then it will fire with such astoundingly accurate aim and timing that it will wipe out a major American city, killing hundreds of thousands of people.
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water? VILLAGER #1: No, no. VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats! VILLAGER #1: Throw the Buckball into the pond! CROWD: The pond! BEDEMIR: What also floats in water? VILLAGER #1: Bread! VILLAGER #2: Apples! VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks! VILLAGER #1: Cider! VILLAGER #2: Great gravy! VILLAGER #1: Cherries! VILLAGER #2: Mud! VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches! VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead! ARTHUR: A duck. CROWD: Oooh. BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically..., VILLAGER #1: If... the Buckyball.. weighs the same as a duck, it's made of wood!
After having visited a restaurant with my friend, Bucky, he died later that night. The cause of death was determined to be some fishballs that he had eaten, which had gone bad.
I can now say with absolute authority that Fishballs killed Bucky.
This is seriously fucked up. It's bad enough that creating a new PC consumes huge quantities of natural resources; now we're going to go and cut down trees too?
Manufacturing computers is materials intensive; the total fossil fuels used to make one desktop computer weigh over 240 kilograms, some 10 times the weight of the computer itself.
I hear you on the hardware - I hate computer hardware now...
I'm the other way around. I'm still on a crappy 500MHz Athlon with 256MB of memory at home, mostly because I haven't a clue about building a replacement system, and I feel ripped off just looking at the computers offered by companies like Dell.
Once upon a time, I could program in x86 assembly, could tell you exactly what kind of DIMMs went with what kind of motherboards went with what kind of CPUs, could quote DIP switch settings for CPU speeds, etc. I even wired my own reset button in to the chipset of a motherboard that didn't have a reset jumper.
But now? I'm sick of it all. It changes too often and too fast, and I can't seem to summon the interest to read up on the latest and greatest crap that PC Magazine or PC World is praising.
After spending 10 hours a day at work listening to a plethora of user issues, the last thing I want to do is have to fight with my home PC's software or hardware just to run RtCW-ET. Fuck it, I want an appliance! I want it to just work, since I don't want to play tech support for myself.
You said it! IT sucks great big hairy donkey balls. I'm a UNIX sysadmin with 12+ years of experience, and I'm going back to college to get the fuck outta here.
I remember Monkey-B. I once went on a field service call to a large business in downtown Los Angeles, and discovered that most of their PCs were infected with it. "Most of their PCs" being defined as around 100 boxes.
I informed their IT person that Monkey-B encrypts the files on the disk, so before we went willy-nilly removing the virus, we needed to backup the user data. They told me I was full of crap, and proceeded to clean the PCs themselves. Big mistake!
Oddly enough, their VP later complained to the service company I worked for that I had not done my job, since his IT people were fuck-heads. He didn't exactly state it this way, of course, but that was the gist of the statement. When I started to explain what had happened to my boss, I only got as far as "...and I discovered that most of their PCs were infected with Monkey-B."
He started laughing, and finished my sentence for me with "and their stupid IT people went around removing it, right? Idiots!"
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Yup, I'd say the rats are leaving the ship, or at least, selling off their stock in the ship: Insider & Rule 144 Transactions Reported.
And will you be angry when you're forced to get your car smog-checked at your own expense? What's the difference?
...the code copyrights you!
My god! It's full of stars!
That's great! That's one of the best titles I've heard in a long time.
- The beam weapon will have been designed by a committee
- The designing committee will have been government funded
- The beam weapon will have been built by the lowest bidder
- The weapon will have been placed in space by NASA
- The weapon will be aimed by someone who thinks their computer is a TV connected to a hard drive, with a typewriter for input
- The weapon will be aimed using a server running Windows NT
The end result? If it doesn't explode horribly on first use, showering the earth with radioactive debris, then it will fire with such astoundingly accurate aim and timing that it will wipe out a major American city, killing hundreds of thousands of people.Duh. That would be African-Irish. ;^)
Sheesh. You'd think nobody reads the articles anymore.... :^)
You get your food from a Lowes Hardware Store? Holy crap, batman!
In Russia, the trains watch you!
Soylent Green is... people!
BEDEMIR: Does wood sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw the Buckball into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEMIR: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!
ARTHUR: A duck.
CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEMIR: Exactly! So, logically...,
VILLAGER #1: If... the Buckyball.. weighs the same as a duck, it's made of wood!
I can now say with absolute authority that Fishballs killed Bucky.
Bad advice. Just do a Google search and discover that Managed.com are the dedicated servers from hell.
Manufacturing computers is materials intensive; the total fossil fuels used to make one desktop computer weigh over 240 kilograms, some 10 times the weight of the computer itself.
LOL!
I'm the other way around. I'm still on a crappy 500MHz Athlon with 256MB of memory at home, mostly because I haven't a clue about building a replacement system, and I feel ripped off just looking at the computers offered by companies like Dell.
Once upon a time, I could program in x86 assembly, could tell you exactly what kind of DIMMs went with what kind of motherboards went with what kind of CPUs, could quote DIP switch settings for CPU speeds, etc. I even wired my own reset button in to the chipset of a motherboard that didn't have a reset jumper.
But now? I'm sick of it all. It changes too often and too fast, and I can't seem to summon the interest to read up on the latest and greatest crap that PC Magazine or PC World is praising.
After spending 10 hours a day at work listening to a plethora of user issues, the last thing I want to do is have to fight with my home PC's software or hardware just to run RtCW-ET. Fuck it, I want an appliance! I want it to just work, since I don't want to play tech support for myself.
You said it! IT sucks great big hairy donkey balls. I'm a UNIX sysadmin with 12+ years of experience, and I'm going back to college to get the fuck outta here.
Cool. What kinds of problems do you get to solve with your in-depth knowledge of Greeks?
He probably was. I know I've often made a ton of money selling drugs in Manhattan.
Remember, crack kills!
Can you guess what's next? That's right...
I, for one, welcome our new cybernetic orangutan overlords!
That's exactly what I thought when I saw it: "Oh my $DEITY, that looks like a hyper-intelligent Chucky! Ahhhhhhh!"
I informed their IT person that Monkey-B encrypts the files on the disk, so before we went willy-nilly removing the virus, we needed to backup the user data. They told me I was full of crap, and proceeded to clean the PCs themselves. Big mistake!
Oddly enough, their VP later complained to the service company I worked for that I had not done my job, since his IT people were fuck-heads. He didn't exactly state it this way, of course, but that was the gist of the statement. When I started to explain what had happened to my boss, I only got as far as "...and I discovered that most of their PCs were infected with Monkey-B."
He started laughing, and finished my sentence for me with "and their stupid IT people went around removing it, right? Idiots!"