"I've got some bad news" the doctor told the man over the phone. His wife had been in for tests the week before, and the man immediately tensed.
"Tell me, doc! I can take it!" said the man.
"Well," said the doc, "we've had a little mix-up here at the lab, and unfortunately some of the tests got mixed up. But we're sure your wife has either Alzheimer's or AIDS."
"Doc," said the man, "this is terrible. But I need to know: Does she have AIDS? I don't want to catch the gay flu from her, after all!"
The doc replied, "There's one sure-fire way to tell. Put your wife in the car, drive out to the edge of town, and kick her out of the car. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
There's usually a new kernel released every other week. Linux is full of bugs and needs frequent updating. For example, the recent "Code Red" virus outbreak was directly attributed to a problem in the previous Linux kernel. But don't be discouraged, we hope to have keyboard support real soon now!
10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they
don't, and then punch them in the face.
9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the
sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you're just kidding and tell them that
they are all a bunch of fucking queers.
8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting,
put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie.
Then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to
you and say, "Beat That."
7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then piss
in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass fucking.
6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand down
your pants.
5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know" then call the
person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race.
4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts.
Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand.
3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it,
tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up, and
realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point.
2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It
won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then when it stops, look down and
say, "Oh."
1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and stick it in
your ass. Return it and tell the person to smell it. When they tell you it
smells bad, be like, "It should! I had it in my ass!"
The lack of a blinking light has been a tremendous drawback to the Palm design from the beginning. Now, with "Das Blinkenlights", you can program the thing to hypnotize the moron across from you on the bus into doing your bidding.
When computer programmer Milo Hoffman (Ryan Phillippe) used the term "open source" for the first time, I ducked. Why? Because I was afraid I was going to get nailed by some flying geek spooge. Let's face it: The possibility of a couple of repressed computer geeks blowing a load after hearing a germane computer term is substantial. To a hardcore geek, "Open" and "Source" are like the nipples on the breasts of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
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Probably started happening when Michael Sims came along. What a fucking coincidence!
"I've got some bad news" the doctor told the man over the phone. His wife had been in for tests the week before, and the man immediately tensed.
"Tell me, doc! I can take it!" said the man.
"Well," said the doc, "we've had a little mix-up here at the lab, and unfortunately some of the tests got mixed up. But we're sure your wife has either Alzheimer's or AIDS."
"Doc," said the man, "this is terrible. But I need to know: Does she have AIDS? I don't want to catch the gay flu from her, after all!"
The doc replied, "There's one sure-fire way to tell. Put your wife in the car, drive out to the edge of town, and kick her out of the car. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
What a stupid fucking joke.
he touched me in my special place
Of course not. It's already dead.
There's usually a new kernel released every other week. Linux is full of bugs and needs frequent updating. For example, the recent "Code Red" virus outbreak was directly attributed to a problem in the previous Linux kernel. But don't be discouraged, we hope to have keyboard support real soon now!
It worked in Windows 5 FUCKING years ago shitstain. Nice hippie OS you've got there.
10. Keep telling the same person that they have bad breath even if they don't, and then punch them in the face. 9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives you the sympathy remarks, tell everyone how you're just kidding and tell them that they are all a bunch of fucking queers. 8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. Then during the meeting, put one finger in the air and make like you are hocking up a big loogie. Then spit the custard into a clear glass and hand it to the person next to you and say, "Beat That." 7. Inform a male co-worker that he "wouldn't make a good hooker." Then piss in his coffee and tell him that he needs a good ass fucking. 6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and keep one hand down your pants. 5. Answer every question asked to you with "Fuck if I know" then call the person a racial slur that doesn't even match their race. 4. Brag about the fact that you own a gun, and keep playing with your nuts. Get them really sweaty, and then walk around shaking everyone's hand. 3. Shit on the floor in your office and when someone comes in and sees it, tell them it's the fake plastic kind. When they try to pick it up, and realize that their hand is full of shit, laugh and point. 2. Run down the hall with your dick out while pissing all over and yell, "It won't stop! God help me! It won't stop!" Then when it stops, look down and say, "Oh." 1. Ask to borrow someone's pen. Bring it to the bathroom and stick it in your ass. Return it and tell the person to smell it. When they tell you it smells bad, be like, "It should! I had it in my ass!"
Hey baby... come here often?
Thanks Bone-O-Rama!
The lack of a blinking light has been a tremendous drawback to the Palm design from the beginning. Now, with "Das Blinkenlights", you can program the thing to hypnotize the moron across from you on the bus into doing your bidding.
Sorry - No USEFUL format in 20 years you babbling fuck.
blow me
Marketing and Wal-Mart? That's what we call a two-time loser.
When computer programmer Milo Hoffman (Ryan Phillippe) used the term "open source" for the first time, I ducked. Why? Because I was afraid I was going to get nailed by some flying geek spooge. Let's face it: The possibility of a couple of repressed computer geeks blowing a load after hearing a germane computer term is substantial. To a hardcore geek, "Open" and "Source" are like the nipples on the breasts of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Linus built his own BABY from scratch.
She's almost as big a whore as Anne Marie.
You mean Soykey? With Soysage stuffing?
What exactly are you trying to say, you fucking limey shitstain?