What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
...Did you see the Fark link? Everyone's posting sick jokes over there. I thought I would skim off the sickest of the lot and share them with Slashdot. Glad you appreciate 'em, hope you think of ol' WIPO next time you're porkin' your preteen!
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
"What's wrong, honey?"
"I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!"
"Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..."
How can you tell when your sister's on her period?
When your dad's dick tastes like blood!
Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son."
What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?"
Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson."
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old."
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!"
Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!"
First guy says, "What're you? A fag?"
The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead."
The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?"
Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!"
A guy calls in sick to work.
"What's wrong?" asks the boss.
"I'm sick," the guy replies.
"You sound all right."
"No, I'm really sick. Believe me."
"Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!"
"Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick."
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie."
"I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too."
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!"
Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone."
What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"?
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fark a table.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A pedophile's ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
Waitress:...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.
CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your snot. I love it. I'm having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!
Waitress:...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.
CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your snot. I love it. I'm having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!
Waitress:...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.
CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your snot. I love it. I'm having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself "CmdrTaco"?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert "CmdrTaco" Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, it's not a very "popular" site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. It's also home to one of the world's largest pædophile ring, the infamous "Slashdot crew."
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, you're in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
He seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Malda's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own lubed-up right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as "Taco-snotting" and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a "circle-snot."
Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"
"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with their own and each other's man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.
I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!
That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?
No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.
Actually, no. It starts by sticking goat penis up one's nose. Then cow penis, then pig, then horse (if you can fit it), then man. No pencils, at least in the literal sense, come in anywhere.
Now, the hard part is deciding if you wish to swallow, or if you wish to "snot" the monkey as CmdrTaco would. Both courses of action have their advantages. I leave that decision to the reader.
You know what happened to my company when we used Linux? This smelly guy in a giant penguin suit came into our office and demanded to be able to rape our asses! That damned GPL allowed him to do it, too, and we all had to have our asses raped by a PENGUIN PHALLUS for nine hours straight! The fuckin' penguin really liked my ass and wouldn't let me leave until I promised to be his bitch forever!
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself "CmdrTaco"?
You have been receiving email from a certain
Robert "CmdrTaco" Malda, owner of the popular technology website Slashdot. Actually, it's not a very "popular" site in the common sense of the word; the site is rife with pimply, antisocial geeks, zit-faced nerds, communists, dirty GNU hippies, and other societal rejects and outcasts. It's also home to one of the world's largest pædophile ring, the infamous "Slashdot crew."
Whenever Mr. Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like
Slashdot all day), he roams through the user database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual activities with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with a letter of the English alphabet in it, you're in trouble.
This time, he found
you. Lucky you.
He seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation,
VA Software. Mr. Malda's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants and only comes out in the presence of other male geeks or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own lubed-up right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testicles that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his thick, gooey semen. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means if he asked you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."
I would guess he also asked you to engage in a practice known as "Taco-snotting" and, if he was in a particularly depraved mood at the time, a "circle-snot."
Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"
"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the act of fellating a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumoured to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto the face and body of his partner or victim. Naturally, a long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is
left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."
A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting
circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with their own and each other's man juice. This vile ritual can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.
To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
Hopefully.
You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on
Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.
I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he
might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).
Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?
Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an
Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.
CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds
raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."
How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!
That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?
No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games.
WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):
You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and
shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.
After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.
Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual pædophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called "
Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.
As I already said, Mr. Katz is
also a zophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.
Open Sauce is a homosexual practice whereby a man spooges his wad all over his friend's face. What else is there to know?
Its not about selling the software. Its not about selling the information. Its about selling the services.
Just like a hooker, ay?
Someone has to write the code, charge for the code to be written instead of for the packaged product and you have a business. Redhat sells services for free software and is making alot of money.
Red Hat's a 5-dollar whore.
They continue to profit without selling software. RedHat Profits surpass expectations again [zdnet.com] Now enough about redhat, lets talk about the ways to sell services and the purpose of the GNU. The GNU is here so that people will be able to freely share source code / information with each other.
I thought they existed to turn us all into communist, motherless bastards.
I read it at -1 on Slashdot, I know it must be true!
Slashdot Mirror
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________...Did you see the Fark link? Everyone's posting sick jokes over there. I thought I would skim off the sickest of the lot and share them with Slashdot. Glad you appreciate 'em, hope you think of ol' WIPO next time you're porkin' your preteen!
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________
What's black, blue and green and doesn't like sex? The Girl Scout locked in my basement. What's the worst part about having sex with a six-year-old? Getting the blood out of your clown suit. What's the best thing about getting a hand job from a five-year-old? That little hand makes your thing look really huge. Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" "I'm leaving you!! I just found out you're a pedophile!!!" "Pedophile?? Why, that's a pretty big word for a ten-year old..." How can you tell when your sister's on her period? When your dad's dick tastes like blood! Two pedophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, "excuse me, you're in my son." What's 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry? Crib death. How could the man's 7-year-old son tell that his dad has farked his 8-year-old sister? His dad's weiner tasted like blood! Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, "Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?" Holmes replies, "Elementary, my dear Watson." So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back, she looked over her shoulder at me and said... "My, how presumptious of you." And I said "presumptious? That's a big word for a 10-year-old." Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, "Damn! I'd love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my feces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!" Second guy says, "Yuck! You're a sick bastard!" First guy says, "What're you? A fag?" The kidergarden teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies "My dad is dead." The teacher say's "That is terribile, but what did he do before he died?" Little Johnny replies, "He turned blue and shit all over himself!" A guy calls in sick to work. "What's wrong?" asks the boss. "I'm sick," the guy replies. "You sound all right." "No, I'm really sick. Believe me." "Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You can't be that sick!" "Dude, I just banged my sister. Don't tell me I'm not sick." A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." "I know," the little girl replied. "I'm gonna get tits, too." An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods. Boy: "These woods sure are spooky!" Man: "You think you're scared, I've gotta walk out of here alone." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys. Has anyone read Michael Jackson's new book, "The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing"? Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? A: I don't cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it. Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex. Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter. Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two, and add 5 more? A: An orgy! Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? A: You can't fark a table. Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib? A: A pedophile's ass. Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby? A: With a condom. Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby? A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples. Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? A: They're fun to ride until they die. Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw? A: Deep Throat. Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother? A: Grandmothers dont die when you fark them in the ass Q: What's the best sound in the world? A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure! Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby? A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades. Q: How do you stop a baby from choking? A: Take your dick out of its mouth. Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before. Q: How do you make a baby cry twice? A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear. What's better than sex with a 12-year-old boy? Absolutely nothing.Thanks, Fark.com!
________________________________________CmdrTaco: You sit here, dear.
CowboiKneel: All right.
CmdrTaco (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
CmdrTaco: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and snot; egg, bacon and snot; egg, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, egg, snot, snot, bacon, and snot; snot, sausage, snot, snot, bacon, snot, tomato, and snot;
Slashdot Crew (starting to chant): Snot, snot, snot, snot...
Waitress: ...Snot, snot, snot, egg, and snot; snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, baked beans, snot, snot, snot...
Slashdot Crew (singing): ...Snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.
CowboiKneel: Have you got anything without snot?
Waitress: Well, there's snot, egg, sausage, and snot, that's not got much snot in it.
CowboiKneel: I don't want any snot!
CmdrTaco: Why can't he have egg, bacon, snot, and sausage?
CowboiKneel: That's got snot in it!
CmdrTaco: Hasn't got as much snot in it as snot, egg, sausage, and snot, has it?
Slashdot Crew: Snot, snot, snot, snot! (crescendo through next few lines)
CowboiKneel: Could you do the egg, bacon, snot, and sausage without the snot then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
CowboiKneel: What do you mean "Urgghh?" I don't like snot!
Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up!
Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up! (Slashdot Crew stops) Bloody Slashdot fags! You can't have egg, bacon, snot and sausage without the snot.
CowboiKneel (shrieks): I don't like snot!
CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your snot. I love it. I'm having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!
Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
CmdrTaco: Well could I have his snot instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot...
Slashdot Crew (singing elaborately): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot! Snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot, snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot snot. Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Snot, snot, snot, snot!
________________________________________Look for 1.15 by next week. Now with 35% more sticky cum!
CmdrTaco: You sit here, dear.
CowboiKneel: All right.
CmdrTaco (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
CmdrTaco: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and snot; egg, bacon and snot; egg, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, egg, snot, snot, bacon, and snot; snot, sausage, snot, snot, bacon, snot, tomato, and snot;
Slashdot Crew (starting to chant): Snot, snot, snot, snot...
Waitress: ...Snot, snot, snot, egg, and snot; snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, baked beans, snot, snot, snot...
Slashdot Crew (singing): ...Snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.
CowboiKneel: Have you got anything without snot?
Waitress: Well, there's snot, egg, sausage, and snot, that's not got much snot in it.
CowboiKneel: I don't want any snot!
CmdrTaco: Why can't he have egg, bacon, snot, and sausage?
CowboiKneel: That's got snot in it!
CmdrTaco: Hasn't got as much snot in it as snot, egg, sausage, and snot, has it?
Slashdot Crew: Snot, snot, snot, snot! (crescendo through next few lines)
CowboiKneel: Could you do the egg, bacon, snot, and sausage without the snot then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
CowboiKneel: What do you mean "Urgghh?" I don't like snot!
Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up!
Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up! (Slashdot Crew stops) Bloody Slashdot fags! You can't have egg, bacon, snot and sausage without the snot.
CowboiKneel (shrieks): I don't like snot!
CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your snot. I love it. I'm having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!
Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
CmdrTaco: Well could I have his snot instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot...
Slashdot Crew (singing elaborately): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot! Snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot, snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot snot. Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Snot, snot, snot, snot!
________________________________________CmdrTaco: You sit here, dear.
CowboiKneel: All right.
CmdrTaco (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress: Morning!
CmdrTaco: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and snot; egg, bacon and snot; egg, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, bacon, sausage, and snot; snot, egg, snot, snot, bacon, and snot; snot, sausage, snot, snot, bacon, snot, tomato, and snot;
Slashdot Crew (starting to chant): Snot, snot, snot, snot...
Waitress: ...Snot, snot, snot, egg, and snot; snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, baked beans, snot, snot, snot...
Slashdot Crew (singing): ...Snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and snot.
CowboiKneel: Have you got anything without snot?
Waitress: Well, there's snot, egg, sausage, and snot, that's not got much snot in it.
CowboiKneel: I don't want any snot!
CmdrTaco: Why can't he have egg, bacon, snot, and sausage?
CowboiKneel: That's got snot in it!
CmdrTaco: Hasn't got as much snot in it as snot, egg, sausage, and snot, has it?
Slashdot Crew: Snot, snot, snot, snot! (crescendo through next few lines)
CowboiKneel: Could you do the egg, bacon, snot, and sausage without the snot then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
CowboiKneel: What do you mean "Urgghh?" I don't like snot!
Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up!
Slashdot Crew: Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up! (Slashdot Crew stops) Bloody Slashdot fags! You can't have egg, bacon, snot and sausage without the snot.
CowboiKneel (shrieks): I don't like snot!
CmdrTaco: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your snot. I love it. I'm having snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, beaked beans, snot, snot, snot, and snot!
Slashdot Crew (singing): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
CmdrTaco: Well could I have his snot instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean snot, snot, snot, snot, snot, snot...
Slashdot Crew (singing elaborately): Snot, snot, snot, snot. Lovely snot! Wonderful snot! Snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot, snot, sno-o-o-o-o-ot snot. Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Lovely snot! Snot, snot, snot, snot!
________________________________________Of course. It's Richard Stallman in a penguin suit. I think he lives in an alley in Boston. Just follow the stench of unwashed beard.
By The WIPO Troll, $Revision: 1.14 $
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself "CmdrTaco"?
He seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?
That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.
________________________________________
Actually, no. It starts by sticking goat penis up one's nose. Then cow penis, then pig, then horse (if you can fit it), then man. No pencils, at least in the literal sense, come in anywhere.
- Find a monkey
- Tie it up
- Rape its anus
- And then felch up the spooge
Now, the hard part is deciding if you wish to swallow, or if you wish to "snot" the monkey as CmdrTaco would. Both courses of action have their advantages. I leave that decision to the reader.You know what happened to my company when we used Linux? This smelly guy in a giant penguin suit came into our office and demanded to be able to rape our asses! That damned GPL allowed him to do it, too, and we all had to have our asses raped by a PENGUIN PHALLUS for nine hours straight! The fuckin' penguin really liked my ass and wouldn't let me leave until I promised to be his bitch forever!
Why do I keep receiving emails from someone calling himself "CmdrTaco"?
He seems to be speaking in some sort of code. Do you know what it means?
Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"
Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?
I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?
Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?
That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?
Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a pædophile, not a homosexual.
No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.
________________________________________I'm only 11, you monkey-felcher.
My penis smells of Tux's anus. I wonder why.
Do these people even read the GNU?
GNU hippies smell too bad.
Do they even know what Open Source means?
Open Sauce is a homosexual practice whereby a man spooges his wad all over his friend's face. What else is there to know?
Its not about selling the software. Its not about selling the information. Its about selling the services.
Just like a hooker, ay?
Someone has to write the code, charge for the code to be written instead of for the packaged product and you have a business. Redhat sells services for free software and is making alot of money.
Red Hat's a 5-dollar whore.
They continue to profit without selling software. RedHat Profits surpass expectations again [zdnet.com] Now enough about redhat, lets talk about the ways to sell services and the purpose of the GNU. The GNU is here so that people will be able to freely share source code / information with each other.
I thought they existed to turn us all into communist, motherless bastards.
I read it at -1 on Slashdot, I know it must be true!