Tell that to black male programmers looking for a job.
The real solution is to provide actual mentoring in a mixed-gender environment, not pre-packaged for-profit "teaching programs" that segregate the sexes. Both genders would certainly benefit from it. Follow the $$$.
Thanks for the summary. I watched only a bit of it, and what I did see was just the usual garbage. A bit of digging shows that this is a "job wanted ad". Click on her name and you see this on LinkdIn:
I'm a geek-suit interface, a programmer, and a teacher. I like to work on open source products, services, or sites that delight and help people. I'll be seeking opportunities starting in June 2015.
"geek-suit interface"? Sounds like a Mozilla Foundation escapee. $DIETY save us from polisci graduates.
Why? It's not the meritocracy, but the underlying issues, such as lack of equal opportunity, of crappy teaching programs that reinforce stereotypes (teaching girls programming in a segregated environment, for example, which blatantly shoves "we think you can't do this as well" in both gender's faces), and implying that career choices that are typically male are more valid than others. These programs just add more damage.
We need more do-ers, not more armchair quarterbacks and sofa-seat generals telling us how to run things.
You ask quite a lot from an estrogen poisoned brain.
Hey, I resemble that remark!
No, I didn't watch the whole video - as soon as I heard the words "safe spaces", it was "here we go again..."
Went back after typing the above... "empowering people, especially the marginalized, using technology" blah blah blah "diversity efforts" blah blah blah... Since most open source software is developed over the internet, "on the internet nobody knows you're a dog." If people become too abusive, you have several choices:
Out-compete them
Fork
Troll the heck out of them (the "back at ya" option)
You hammer on a point too long, you turn potential supporters right off. This subject has been beaten to death lately, with the people doing the beating being the ones who are profiting from the "good publicity" associated with programs such as "coding for girls". (and the SJWs who last year were using the issue as a way to self-promote by creating a "fog of war.")
Nobody likes to be treated in a paternalistic fashion, and more and more this is what this has become. It reinforces the very stereotypes that have contributed to the problem in the first place. ("oh, girls can't do math, so we'll make a Barbie Girl version of a computer course").
I haven't seen predestination yet, but if it's anything like the short story it was based on, I will definitely like it. It's a real mind-bender.(hum "I'm my own grandpa...")
Nobody likes this hijacking crap, but it is what it is... if there's money in it, the cockroaches will be there.
The people controlling the system use it for selling "follows," "likes," and so forth on social media sites like Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Facebook, and Google+.
Then you should move to Poutineville, Kanuckistan. Or you should check with the men's homeless shelters - they sometimes either provide this service as an adjunct to their main service, or they can make a referral.
Yep, I pointed to one where it is illegal. That is how our legal system deals with it. Just because it doesn't deliver the result you want is not my problem.
Your question was very specific. Also, Immigration Canada does allow Muslims who have up to 4 wives, who they married outside the country, entry. That is how we deal with these things. Canadians can work out healthy compromises. That's why we were one of the first countries to legalize same-sex marriage. That's why abortion and religion are not issues in federal elections. That's why black people can walk down the street without getting shot. You have race riots - we have hockey riots. Nobody gets killed over the Stanley Cup finals.
You claimed that who you associate with is part of who you are. I showed that is not true.
Your introduction of Neo-Nazis is irrelevant to the facts. You're the one who made up a tangential argument that had nothing to do with the argument at hand.
However, I'll answer you stupid question - if I were a researcher, social worker, documentary maker, day-care worker, teacher, etc., and that required that I work among neo-nazis, sure I would. Would you deny care of or education to a child because their parents are idiots? Would you refuse to meet the parents to discuss any issues?
To do otherwise would just be to perpetuate the ignorance - but you seem to be just fine with that.
No, I'd invest the money into getting Bob off the streets and turning him back into a productive member of society.
Bob would rather do coke. And it would be an affront to his dignity or whatever to condition "helping" him on any change on his part.
There are plenty of addicts who want to get clean, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of alcoholics who want to get sober, but they too can't do it on their own. There are plenty of ex-cons who want to go straight, but they can't do it on their own when they're back in the 'hood and can't get a job because of their past (we just covered this a few days ago here).
There are plenty of families that don't want to fall apart, but nowadays they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of people who would like to continue their education or learn a trade, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of spouses who don't want to continue the cycle of abuse, but they can't do it on their own.
There are plenty of mentally ill people who would love to end their suffering in ways other than suicide, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of physically handicapped people who would love to participate in and contribute to society, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of war veterans who want to get their lives together and get help with PTSD, but they can't do it on their own.
There are plenty of people who want to see crime lowered in their neighborhood, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of people who want available funds to go to schools instead of computer in education scams by Pierson and Co, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of people who want to work, but without flex time to take care of aging parents, or affordable daycare for their children, they can't do it on their own.
You of course think that because they can't do it on their own, they're "not trying hard enough." The 1,127 garment workers who died in Rana Plaza "weren't working hard enough." The people who need to hold down 2 or 3 jobs and leave their kids cared for by others because wages have been stagnant for 40 years while all the gains of productivity have gone solely to the bosses "aren't working hard enough."
So here we have an economy where people have to slit each others throats in a race to the bottom for jobs. I've got news for you. You're not a special snowflake either. You're one catastrophic life event (illness, etc) from joining Bob.
No, I'd invest the money into getting Bob off the streets and turning him back into a productive member of society. Considering that his future earnings would more than pay back the cost, it's a win-win for everyone, including you, since that money would go into providing those other public services I mentioned, the ones that you benefit from.
Distorted thinking (or cognitive distortion) is something we all do. It's really bad when you fall victim to trying to apply logic to a situation that is not based (or resolvable) by logic. The therapist who helped me deal with PTSD made a good point - you can't understand crazy unless you're crazy yourself. Sometimes there's just no logical understanding for a situation, and that's okay.
The belief that if you try enough you can fix something is one example. And when you fail, you end up feeling guilty for not trying hard enough. When you realize that you can't "fix" someone else (women are stereotypically portrayed as being guilty of this) that takes a lot of pressure off, because instead of trying to fix them, you can do something more constructive, such as trying to accept the reality of it and modify your actions accordingly.
Feelings are feelings. I don't know why I like ice cream, but I do. I can give reasons for it, but that's just post hoc rationalization. My liking ice cream wasn't a rational decision - I just like it.
You know that old saying - "know thyself"? Part of that is knowing it's okay to be flawed, to make decisions based on emotion and feelings - after all, if you can accept it in others, you should be able to accept it in yourself. As Robo-Cop said, "Patience, Lewis. We're only human."
Calgary was, until the last provincial election, full-on right-wing conservative, same as the feds are. We have shelters for men who are victims of abuse in Quebec, so I don't see why they report that "the only shelter for abused men has closed."
How is pointing out that testosterone has a very heavy influence on how men react changing the subject - which was the claim that women act emotionally, as if men don't just as much, if not more?
while divorce and separation are linked to suicide risk in both sexes, divorced/separated men seem particularly vulnerable to suicidal “ideation” (thoughts and planning) and to suicide itself
That's a highly emotional response, and it's weighted more towards men than women.
Mobile tweaks are becoming less necessary as display sizes get larger. Also, more CMS packages handle that "out of the box."
Also, most small businesses don't need a web presence. Not the local daycare, not the local gas station, not the local convenience store, not the local restaurant, not the local veterinarian.
For them, word of mouth is the best, most cost-effective advertising they can ever get - same as any other business.
The vast majority of people who use computers today do NOT need to know any of those things. Those who are interested will pursue it - those who aren't should be allowed to pursue other interests.
Your best bet is to leave, at least temporarily. It takes 2 to fight, and your presence is enabling her to continue to play the victim at your expense. Your continued presence is, in fact, ruining her life (and yours) because just your presence enables her to keep playing the "you gave me cancer" card, knowing that you'll try to "sooth things out". When you do that, you're rewarding her behaviour.
It's said that absence makes the heart grow fonder - it also gives both sides time to decompress instead of being caught up in the day-to-day drama.
On the question of morals, the right thing to do is to break the cycle. It may help her, and it will definitely help you. Right now she has no incentive to seek how she may be part of the problem or to get help. We have short-term mens shelters here - maybe you have one in your area?
Whether the stats are accurate or not shouldn't be the issue. I totally get why they don't report it to police, because there's still a lot of denial that it's even possible, and "excuse-making" that blames the victim, same as "were you dressed provocatively" for other rape victims.
True, nobody "owes" anyone a living. However, as a society, we have decided that we are affluent enough to be able to help the less fortunate, and that everyone who can should contribute because in the end it benefits everyone, same as libraries, public education, police and fire services, the courts, a standing military, roads and highways, bus and subway services, shelters for the homeless and battered spouses, foster homes for children in need, pharmaceutical regulations, food inspections, etc.
Sure, there are many employers out there and many job openings, but sexism, ageism, racism, and even just "going to the wrong school" all mitigate against people who can no longer find jobs at the drop of a hat. And then there are employers who will find a way not to hire someone based purely on their appearance or the presence of a handicap.
Took a while to godwin this one, didn't it?:-) If I spend time with christians, that doesn't make me a christian. Same with muslims. Same with jews. Same with the french. Same with people of colour. Same with gays. Same with lesbians. Same with the cisgendered.
Do you believe that all the Irish who voted for same-sex marriage are gay or lesbian?
Thanks. The problem is that when either side threatens, the other side usually forgets that the smart option is to walk away. Of course, the same is true for the person making the threats - if it's that bad that you feel you have to make threats, it's time to walk away.
People are so anxious to try to "fix" things, they perceive the emotional stakes as being so high, that they don't really see it as an outsider would (see "distorted thinking").
Slashdot Mirror
To provide something "better" is to risk a brain aneurism :-)
That makes one more use for it than we can find for you.
That's great because I really don't want to be "used" by you. :-)
You can easily verify it's true - you obviously have internet access.
Kids drugged out on cold medicines don't drive cars or operate heavy equipment. Also, do you want adults taking 5-10 sick days just for colds?
Tell that to black male programmers looking for a job.
The real solution is to provide actual mentoring in a mixed-gender environment, not pre-packaged for-profit "teaching programs" that segregate the sexes. Both genders would certainly benefit from it. Follow the $$$.
I'm a geek-suit interface, a programmer, and a teacher. I like to work on open source products, services, or sites that delight and help people. I'll be seeking opportunities starting in June 2015.
"geek-suit interface"? Sounds like a Mozilla Foundation escapee. $DIETY save us from polisci graduates.
Meritocracy is soooo misogynist.
Why? It's not the meritocracy, but the underlying issues, such as lack of equal opportunity, of crappy teaching programs that reinforce stereotypes (teaching girls programming in a segregated environment, for example, which blatantly shoves "we think you can't do this as well" in both gender's faces), and implying that career choices that are typically male are more valid than others. These programs just add more damage.
You ask quite a lot from an estrogen poisoned brain.
Hey, I resemble that remark!
No, I didn't watch the whole video - as soon as I heard the words "safe spaces", it was "here we go again ..."
Went back after typing the above ... "empowering people, especially the marginalized, using technology" blah blah blah "diversity efforts" blah blah blah ... Since most open source software is developed over the internet, "on the internet nobody knows you're a dog." If people become too abusive, you have several choices:
You hammer on a point too long, you turn potential supporters right off. This subject has been beaten to death lately, with the people doing the beating being the ones who are profiting from the "good publicity" associated with programs such as "coding for girls". (and the SJWs who last year were using the issue as a way to self-promote by creating a "fog of war.")
Nobody likes to be treated in a paternalistic fashion, and more and more this is what this has become. It reinforces the very stereotypes that have contributed to the problem in the first place. ("oh, girls can't do math, so we'll make a Barbie Girl version of a computer course").
I haven't seen predestination yet, but if it's anything like the short story it was based on, I will definitely like it. It's a real mind-bender.(hum "I'm my own grandpa ...")
Nobody likes this hijacking crap, but it is what it is ... if there's money in it, the cockroaches will be there.
The people controlling the system use it for selling "follows," "likes," and so forth on social media sites like Twitter, Instagram, Vine, Facebook, and Google+.
I like it :-)
Then you should move to Poutineville, Kanuckistan. Or you should check with the men's homeless shelters - they sometimes either provide this service as an adjunct to their main service, or they can make a referral.
Yep, I pointed to one where it is illegal. That is how our legal system deals with it. Just because it doesn't deliver the result you want is not my problem.
Your question was very specific. Also, Immigration Canada does allow Muslims who have up to 4 wives, who they married outside the country, entry. That is how we deal with these things. Canadians can work out healthy compromises. That's why we were one of the first countries to legalize same-sex marriage. That's why abortion and religion are not issues in federal elections. That's why black people can walk down the street without getting shot. You have race riots - we have hockey riots. Nobody gets killed over the Stanley Cup finals.
You claimed that who you associate with is part of who you are. I showed that is not true.
Your introduction of Neo-Nazis is irrelevant to the facts. You're the one who made up a tangential argument that had nothing to do with the argument at hand.
However, I'll answer you stupid question - if I were a researcher, social worker, documentary maker, day-care worker, teacher, etc., and that required that I work among neo-nazis, sure I would. Would you deny care of or education to a child because their parents are idiots? Would you refuse to meet the parents to discuss any issues?
To do otherwise would just be to perpetuate the ignorance - but you seem to be just fine with that.
Bob would rather do coke. And it would be an affront to his dignity or whatever to condition "helping" him on any change on his part.
There are plenty of addicts who want to get clean, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of alcoholics who want to get sober, but they too can't do it on their own. There are plenty of ex-cons who want to go straight, but they can't do it on their own when they're back in the 'hood and can't get a job because of their past (we just covered this a few days ago here).
There are plenty of families that don't want to fall apart, but nowadays they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of people who would like to continue their education or learn a trade, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of spouses who don't want to continue the cycle of abuse, but they can't do it on their own.
There are plenty of mentally ill people who would love to end their suffering in ways other than suicide, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of physically handicapped people who would love to participate in and contribute to society, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of war veterans who want to get their lives together and get help with PTSD, but they can't do it on their own.
There are plenty of people who want to see crime lowered in their neighborhood, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of people who want available funds to go to schools instead of computer in education scams by Pierson and Co, but they can't do it on their own. There are plenty of people who want to work, but without flex time to take care of aging parents, or affordable daycare for their children, they can't do it on their own.
You of course think that because they can't do it on their own, they're "not trying hard enough." The 1,127 garment workers who died in Rana Plaza "weren't working hard enough." The people who need to hold down 2 or 3 jobs and leave their kids cared for by others because wages have been stagnant for 40 years while all the gains of productivity have gone solely to the bosses "aren't working hard enough."
So here we have an economy where people have to slit each others throats in a race to the bottom for jobs. I've got news for you. You're not a special snowflake either. You're one catastrophic life event (illness, etc) from joining Bob.
No, I'd invest the money into getting Bob off the streets and turning him back into a productive member of society. Considering that his future earnings would more than pay back the cost, it's a win-win for everyone, including you, since that money would go into providing those other public services I mentioned, the ones that you benefit from.
Distorted thinking (or cognitive distortion) is something we all do. It's really bad when you fall victim to trying to apply logic to a situation that is not based (or resolvable) by logic. The therapist who helped me deal with PTSD made a good point - you can't understand crazy unless you're crazy yourself. Sometimes there's just no logical understanding for a situation, and that's okay.
The belief that if you try enough you can fix something is one example. And when you fail, you end up feeling guilty for not trying hard enough. When you realize that you can't "fix" someone else (women are stereotypically portrayed as being guilty of this) that takes a lot of pressure off, because instead of trying to fix them, you can do something more constructive, such as trying to accept the reality of it and modify your actions accordingly.
Feelings are feelings. I don't know why I like ice cream, but I do. I can give reasons for it, but that's just post hoc rationalization. My liking ice cream wasn't a rational decision - I just like it.
You know that old saying - "know thyself"? Part of that is knowing it's okay to be flawed, to make decisions based on emotion and feelings - after all, if you can accept it in others, you should be able to accept it in yourself. As Robo-Cop said, "Patience, Lewis. We're only human."
All the best for both of you.
Calgary was, until the last provincial election, full-on right-wing conservative, same as the feds are. We have shelters for men who are victims of abuse in Quebec, so I don't see why they report that "the only shelter for abused men has closed."
How is pointing out that testosterone has a very heavy influence on how men react changing the subject - which was the claim that women act emotionally, as if men don't just as much, if not more?
One really good example:
while divorce and separation are linked to suicide risk in both sexes, divorced/separated men seem particularly vulnerable to suicidal “ideation” (thoughts and planning) and to suicide itself
That's a highly emotional response, and it's weighted more towards men than women.
Mobile tweaks are becoming less necessary as display sizes get larger. Also, more CMS packages handle that "out of the box."
Also, most small businesses don't need a web presence. Not the local daycare, not the local gas station, not the local convenience store, not the local restaurant, not the local veterinarian.
For them, word of mouth is the best, most cost-effective advertising they can ever get - same as any other business.
Sure they do.
The vast majority of people who use computers today do NOT need to know any of those things. Those who are interested will pursue it - those who aren't should be allowed to pursue other interests.
Your best bet is to leave, at least temporarily. It takes 2 to fight, and your presence is enabling her to continue to play the victim at your expense. Your continued presence is, in fact, ruining her life (and yours) because just your presence enables her to keep playing the "you gave me cancer" card, knowing that you'll try to "sooth things out". When you do that, you're rewarding her behaviour.
It's said that absence makes the heart grow fonder - it also gives both sides time to decompress instead of being caught up in the day-to-day drama.
On the question of morals, the right thing to do is to break the cycle. It may help her, and it will definitely help you. Right now she has no incentive to seek how she may be part of the problem or to get help. We have short-term mens shelters here - maybe you have one in your area?
Whether the stats are accurate or not shouldn't be the issue. I totally get why they don't report it to police, because there's still a lot of denial that it's even possible, and "excuse-making" that blames the victim, same as "were you dressed provocatively" for other rape victims.
True, nobody "owes" anyone a living. However, as a society, we have decided that we are affluent enough to be able to help the less fortunate, and that everyone who can should contribute because in the end it benefits everyone, same as libraries, public education, police and fire services, the courts, a standing military, roads and highways, bus and subway services, shelters for the homeless and battered spouses, foster homes for children in need, pharmaceutical regulations, food inspections, etc.
Sure, there are many employers out there and many job openings, but sexism, ageism, racism, and even just "going to the wrong school" all mitigate against people who can no longer find jobs at the drop of a hat. And then there are employers who will find a way not to hire someone based purely on their appearance or the presence of a handicap.
Took a while to godwin this one, didn't it? :-) If I spend time with christians, that doesn't make me a christian. Same with muslims. Same with jews. Same with the french. Same with people of colour. Same with gays. Same with lesbians. Same with the cisgendered.
Do you believe that all the Irish who voted for same-sex marriage are gay or lesbian?
Thanks. The problem is that when either side threatens, the other side usually forgets that the smart option is to walk away. Of course, the same is true for the person making the threats - if it's that bad that you feel you have to make threats, it's time to walk away.
People are so anxious to try to "fix" things, they perceive the emotional stakes as being so high, that they don't really see it as an outsider would (see "distorted thinking").