You'd be a successful Karma whore, but someone else already beat you to posting a very similar post and got modded up for it. Probabally just going to get -1 redundant now...
So does this mean that one day the government will be able to violate my privacy in my house with out looking trhough an open window or anything?
Re:cmdrtaco = nerd!!!!!111
on
Future Of IDS
·
· Score: -1
You know, I am getting sick of people bashing me all the time. Why don't you just not even come here if you are going to do that. I mean, yes, I am gay. So. What is your point, I mean, there are plenty of other gay people who post on slashdot, even most of the other editors are gay. Quit bashing me and quit trolling my web site...
It is an effort by either moderators or editors to bring a troll account's default posting score back up to 0 so they will be more visible and hence downmodded more getting them banned more...
I just heard a report that a homosexual was found today dead in his home somewhere. Nobody really cared that he was found dead. Apparently, he has been there for weeks and no body noticed. One of his neighbors was quoted as saying:
"I thought there was a strange smell coming from his house, but I just figured it was one of those candles those homos like so much. I don't really care that he died, maybe that will keep his little dog quiet. Well, I am off to celebrate, now that there is one less faggot in the world."
I am sure that no one (except all of the Linux loving fags) at slashdot will miss him. As he has contributed nothing but the further spread of AIDS in society.
Squelching Freedom and innovation. (Score:1)
by LordOfYourPants on Tuesday December 04, @11:34AM (#2654188)
(User #145342 Info)
As copyright holder of this message, I wish to squelch freedom and innovation by
1) Suing anyone who replies and quotes my copyrighted message.
2) Suing anyone who moderates this message down for attacking my character.
3) Sue any banner ad companies whose ads appear above my comment unless they have text within the ad saying "The comments of the advertiser are not meant to be related to LordOfYourPants."
4) Sue thinkgeek for giving me a hernia with their "Codito, Ergo, Summ" shirts.
I just heard a report that a homosexual was found today dead in his home somewhere. Nobody really cared that he was found dead. Apparently, he has been there for weeks and no body noticed. One of his neighbors was quoted as saying:
"I thought there was a strange smell coming from his house, but I just figured it was one of those candles those homos like so much. I don't really care that he died, maybe that will keep his little dog quiet. Well, I am off to celebrate, now that there is one less faggot in the world."
I am sure that no one (except JonKatz) at slashdot will miss him. As he has contributed nothing but the further spread of AIDS in society.
I am very sorry I had to leave so abruptly last night, but I really had to go because I had to get home to JonKatz, I didn't want him to get any ideas about us. I meant what I said when I told you that I care for you and that you are special to me. What do you say we get together for lunch today and have a repeat of last night. I know I had a good time when you were behind me and you... well, you know what you did.
I am very sorry I had to leave so abruptly last night, but I really had to go because I had to get home to JonKatz, I didn't want him to get any ideas about us. I meant what I said when I told you that I care for you and that you are special to me. What do you say we get together for lunch today and have a repeat of last night. I know I had a good time when you were behind me and you... well, you know what you did.
Don't worry, it wasn't just your ISP. You can attribute your troubles with Slashdot with the fact that thier Slashcode is unstable and crashes alot. The fact that this site goes down more than a $5 hooker on Time Square doesn't bother me. It is the fact that the news on here typically sucks and is usually based on opinion and not fact.
I just heard some sad news on National Public Radio - Pop / Classic Rock artist George Harrison was found dead in his Los Angeles home last night. He died of Cancer, which he had been battling for a long time. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot/Geekizoid/Troll community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American and a British icon.
I just heard a report that a homosexual was found today dead in his home somewhere. Nobody really cared that he was found dead. Apparently, he has been there for weeks and no body noticed. One of his neighbors was quoted as saying:
"I thought there was a strange smell coming from his house, but I just figured it was one of those candles those homos like so much. I don't really care that he died, maybe that will keep his little dog quiet. Well, I am off to celebrate, now that there is one less faggot in the world."
I am sure that no one (except JonKatz) at slashdot will miss him. As he has contributed nothing but the further spread of AIDS in society.
Are there any weaponized viruses that can cause the sudden and catastrophic loss of all muscular control of the sphincter? If it can be delivered to large portions of the population, would we all be forced from the cities, fleeing before a sickening tidal wave of "mud", if you know what I mean and I think you do?
From: Don Carlson [SMTP:imgcarlson@email.msn.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 01, 2001 2:46 PM
To: Vicki Burns; Trace Woodward; Chris; Bill Gaines; Betts Ronan
(E-Mail); Curtis Plimpton; Jan Summerville; Jennel Plimpton; Brian Burns
(E-Mail); Brian Boswell (E-Mail); Dave Ryan; Bill Coughlin; John Fox; Mike
Christensen; C. Michael Cisson; Bill Frandrup; John and Cynthia Beck;
PAMELA EWART; Renee Ewart (Home E-Mail); Natalie Carlson; Loren & Nancy
Roth; Loretta and Jim Wilbur; Ted and Debbie Gott; Keith Franco; Adrienne
Carlson; Charlie Roberts; Debbie Isenberg; Denny & Fay; Duane Landrum;
Eric Gott; Father Brain D. Bjorklund; Frank Slowik; Gary Wilson; Greg
Wood; Hal Plimpton; Hector Hernandez; Jan Barletto; Janet Bertagna; Jay
and Susie Meldrum; Jim Melvin; Jim Melvin (personal); Jim Wilbur (EDS
E-Mail); Jim Young; John Rebholz; Ken Duvall; Kevin Blackburn; Lynn and
Carla Smith; Mark Carlson; Mark Kosowski; Mark Ziemkowski; Mary Carlson;
Patrick M. Pillsbury; Rand and Lisa Rath; Roland Barger; Roy and Kathi
Farrell; Ryan and Tamara Willard
Subject: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE READ!!
To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, but
this is from my good friend Pearlas Sanborn and she really is
an attorney. If she says that this will work - it WILL work.
After all, what have you got to lose?
SORRY EVERYBODY.....JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!!
I'm an attorney, and I know the law. This thing is for real.
Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises
for fear of facing a multimillion dollar class action suit similar to the
one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.
We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without
getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in
on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game.
She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and
was stamped "Paid In Full". Like I said before, I know the law, and this
is for real.
Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the
largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most
widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it
(if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you
$203.15.
For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will
pay you $156.29.
And for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $17.65.
Within two weeks, Intel will contact you for your address and then send you a check. I
thought this was
a scam myself, but a friend of my good friend's Aunt Patricia, who works
at Intel, actually got a check of $4,543.23 by forwarding this e-mail.
At the end of this story, it gives you two options.
I think you will figure out what option I chose.
A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in
Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital
room of Diana Blessing.
Still groggy from surgery, her husband David held
her hand as they braced themselves for the latest
news.
That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had
forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an
emergency cesarean to deliver the couple's new
daughter,
Danae Lu Blessing.
At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound
and nine ounces, they already knew she was
perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words
dropped like bombs.
"I don't think she's going to make it', he said, as
kindly as he could. "There's only a 10-percent chance
she
will live through the night, and even then, if by some
slim chance she does make it, her future could be a
very cruel one".
Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the
doctor described the devastating problems Danae
would likely face if she survived.
She would never walk, she would never talk, she would
probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to
other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to
complete mental retardation, and on and on.
"No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David, with
their
5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day
they would
have a daughter to become a family of four. Now,
within a matter
of hours, that dream was slipping away. Through the
dark hours
of morning as Danae held onto life by the thinnest
thread, Diana
slipped in and out of sleep, growing more and more
determined
that their tiny daughter would live and live to be a
healthy,
happy young girl.
But David, fully awake and listening to additional
dire details
of their daughter's chances of ever leaving the
hospital alive,
much less healthy, knew he must confront his wife with
the
inevitable. David walked in and said that we needed to
talk
about making funeral arrangements.
Diana remembers 'I felt so bad for him because he was
doing
everything trying to include me in what was going on,
but I
just wouldn't listen, I couldn't listen.'
I said, 'No, I don't want to listen to what the
doctors say;
Danae is not going to die! One day she will be just
fine,
and she will be coming home with us!"
As if willed to live by Diana's determination, Danae
clung to
life hour after hour, with the help of every medical
machine
and marvel her miniature body could endure. But as
those first
days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana.
Because Danae's underdeveloped nervous system was
essentially
'raw,' the lightest kiss or caress only intensified
her discomfort,
so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl
against their
chests to offer the strength of their love. All they
could do, as
Danae struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in
the tangle
of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay
close to their
precious little girl.
There was never a moment when Danae suddenly grew
stronger. But as
the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of
weight here and
an ounce of strength there. At last, when Danae turned
two months old,
her parents were able to hold her in their arms for
the very first time.
And two months later, though doctors continued to
gently, but grimly
warn that her chances of surviving, much less living
any kind of normal
life, were next to zero.
Danae went home from the hospital, just as her mother
had predicted.
Today, five years later, Danae is a petite but feisty
young girl with
glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for
life.
She shows no signs, whatsoever, of any mental or
physical impairment.
Simply, she is everything a little girl can be and
more, but that
happy ending is far from the end of her story.
One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near
her home in Irving,
Texas, Danae was sitting in her mother's lap in the
bleachers of a local
ballpark where her brother Dustin's baseball team was
practicing.
As always, Danae was chattering nonstop with her
mother and several
other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell
silent.
Hugging her arms across her chest, Danae asked, "Do
you smell that?"
Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a
thunderstorm,
Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain."
Danae closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell
that?" Once again,
her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get
wet, it smells like
rain."
Still caught in the moment, Danae shook her head,
patted her thin
shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced,
"No, it smells
like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on
His chest."
Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Danae then happily
hopped down to
play with the other children. Before the rains came,
her daughter's words
confirmed what Diana and all the members of the
extended Blessing
family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.
During those long days and nights of her first two
months of her life,
when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch
her, God was
holding Danae on His chest and it is His loving scent
that she
remembers so well.
You now have 1 of 2 choices...you can either pass this
on and let
other people catch the chills like you did, or you can
delete this
and act like it didn't touch your heart like it did
mine.
We here at Slashdot in no way endorse the links that you will see on many postings to goatse.cx
These links to goatse.cx are typically put in posting from Trolls. If you are going to troll this site, please don't or I will redirect your IP to goatse.cx any time you try to visit Slashdot.
We at Slashdot can no longer tolorate this behavior from these trolls.
Furthermore, if you find any further links to goatse.cx then please follow this link and report it to us for prompt action.
Slashdot Mirror
Sorry, I forgot to ask. Why would you karma whore on an AC account? Why bother posting if your just going to be an AC?
You'd be a successful Karma whore, but someone else already beat you to posting a very similar post and got modded up for it. Probabally just going to get -1 redundant now...
Could it be? Yes! IT IS!!! first post!
So does this mean that one day the government will be able to violate my privacy in my house with out looking trhough an open window or anything?
You know, I am getting sick of people bashing me all the time. Why don't you just not even come here if you are going to do that. I mean, yes, I am gay. So. What is your point, I mean, there are plenty of other gay people who post on slashdot, even most of the other editors are gay. Quit bashing me and quit trolling my web site...
It is an effort by either moderators or editors to bring a troll account's default posting score back up to 0 so they will be more visible and hence downmodded more getting them banned more...
Damn! I'm out of Mountain Dew. What should I do?
I just heard a report that a homosexual was found today dead in his home somewhere. Nobody really cared that he was found dead. Apparently, he has been there for weeks and no body noticed. One of his neighbors was quoted as saying:
"I thought there was a strange smell coming from his house, but I just figured it was one of those candles those homos like so much. I don't really care that he died, maybe that will keep his little dog quiet. Well, I am off to celebrate, now that there is one less faggot in the world."
I am sure that no one (except all of the Linux loving fags) at slashdot will miss him. As he has contributed nothing but the further spread of AIDS in society.
Squelching Freedom and innovation. (Score:1)
by LordOfYourPants on Tuesday December 04, @11:34AM (#2654188)
(User #145342 Info)
As copyright holder of this message, I wish to squelch freedom and innovation by
1) Suing anyone who replies and quotes my copyrighted message.
2) Suing anyone who moderates this message down for attacking my character.
3) Sue any banner ad companies whose ads appear above my comment unless they have text within the ad saying "The comments of the advertiser are not meant to be related to LordOfYourPants."
4) Sue thinkgeek for giving me a hernia with their "Codito, Ergo, Summ" shirts.
Eat a dick
I just heard a report that a homosexual was found today dead in his home somewhere. Nobody really cared that he was found dead. Apparently, he has been there for weeks and no body noticed. One of his neighbors was quoted as saying:
"I thought there was a strange smell coming from his house, but I just figured it was one of those candles those homos like so much. I don't really care that he died, maybe that will keep his little dog quiet. Well, I am off to celebrate, now that there is one less faggot in the world."
I am sure that no one (except JonKatz) at slashdot will miss him. As he has contributed nothing but the further spread of AIDS in society.
I am very sorry I had to leave so abruptly last night, but I really had to go because I had to get home to JonKatz, I didn't want him to get any ideas about us. I meant what I said when I told you that I care for you and that you are special to me. What do you say we get together for lunch today and have a repeat of last night. I know I had a good time when you were behind me and you... well, you know what you did.
ttyl lover,
Rob
I am very sorry I had to leave so abruptly last night, but I really had to go because I had to get home to JonKatz, I didn't want him to get any ideas about us. I meant what I said when I told you that I care for you and that you are special to me. What do you say we get together for lunch today and have a repeat of last night. I know I had a good time when you were behind me and you... well, you know what you did.
ttyl lover,
Rob
First I'm Gay Post!!!
Don't worry, it wasn't just your ISP. You can attribute your troubles with Slashdot with the fact that thier Slashcode is unstable and crashes alot. The fact that this site goes down more than a $5 hooker on Time Square doesn't bother me. It is the fact that the news on here typically sucks and is usually based on opinion and not fact.
I just heard some sad news on National Public Radio - Pop / Classic Rock artist George Harrison was found dead in his Los Angeles home last night. He died of Cancer, which he had been battling for a long time. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot/Geekizoid/Troll community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American and a British icon.
King Arthur: Now, we are about to attempt to cross...the Bridge of Death! The
gate-keeper of the Bridge will ask any who attempt to cross five
questions---Sir Bedevere: Three, sire.
Arthur: (pause) Oh, yes, three. He who successfully answers these five
questions--
Bedevere: Three, sire!
Arthur: (slightly longer pause) Ah, three, then...er, may pass in safety.
However, anyone who fails to correctly answer all five questions-
Bedevere: THREE, sire!
Arthur: I KNOW IT'S BLOODY THR--ahem, yes, of course, three. (black look
at Bedevere)...will be cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril!!!
(dramatic music)
Arthur: (continuing) Sir Robin, why don't you go?
Sir Robin: Er...I've got an idea! Why doesn't Sir Lancelot go?
Sir Lancelot: Yes, I'll take him, sire. (about to draw sword) I'll make a
feint to the North-East, and then--
Arthur: No, no, just answer the questions, Sir Lancelot.
Lancelot: But I'd really like a feint to the North-East, sire...
Arthur: No, Sir Lancelot. We'll all be right behind you, listening...
Lancelot: (sheathing sword) I...understand, sire.
Arthur: Our prayers go with you, Sir Lancelot.
(Lancelot approaches the bridge. Suddenly, out of nowhere,
the BRIDGEKEEPER appears.)
Bedevere: (whispering) It's the old man from Scene 24!!
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Lancelot: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Lancelot: Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?
Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right, off you go.
Lancelot: (slightly surprised) Oh! Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
(and off he goes. The knights look at each other.)
Robin: That's EASY!!!
(A mad rush for the bridge. Robin arrives first. The knights
cluster behind. A few sniff and wrinkle their noses, and the
group backs off.)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Robin: (excitedly) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Robin: Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is you quest?
Robin: I seek the Grail!
Bridgekeeper: What...is the capital of Assyria?
Robin: (indignant) I don't know THAT!! (An unseen force whisks him up
and over the side.) AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
(The knights pause, realizing this may be a bit tougher than
all that.)
*** Note: The following bit was cut from the movie. ***
Bedevere: What shall we do, sire?
Arthur: Well, I'm not sure, but...
Bridgekeeper: (off) What...goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
Sir Gawain: (off) Uh...er...ah...Babylon? AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!
*** Movie resumes. ***
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Sir Galahad: (swallowing) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper...I am not
afraid...
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Galahad: (nervous) Sir Galahad...
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Galahad: (really nervous) To seek the Grail...
Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?
Galahad: (relieved) Blue! (starts across; oops) NO!
YELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!
(Arthur steps forward)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Arthur: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Arthur: King Arthur of the Britons!
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Arthur: I seek the Holy Grail!
Bridgekeeper: What...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Arthur: (brief pause) What do you mean, an African or a European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: (confused) Well...I don't know...AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!
Bedevere: (crossing behind Arthur) How do you know so much about swallows,
sire?
Arthur: Well, you have to know these sorts of things when you're a king,
you know...
*** Note: The following bit was cut from the movie. ***
(Arthur and Bedevere approach a gigantic lake.
A boat in the shape of a dragon glides slowly
towards them. As they prepare to cross, the
same old man suddenly appears before them.)
Boat-keeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Sea of Fate
Must answer me these questions twenty-eight!
(Arthur and Bedevere look at each other. They look
at the old man. They look back at each other. They
pick the old man up, throw him in the water, and board
the ship.)
I had sex with your mom. I got pictures. Wanna see them? Click here!
King Arthur: Now, we are about to attempt to cross...the Bridge of Death! The
gate-keeper of the Bridge will ask any who attempt to cross five
questions---Sir Bedevere: Three, sire.
Arthur: (pause) Oh, yes, three. He who successfully answers these five
questions--
Bedevere: Three, sire!
Arthur: (slightly longer pause) Ah, three, then...er, may pass in safety.
However, anyone who fails to correctly answer all five questions-
Bedevere: THREE, sire!
Arthur: I KNOW IT'S BLOODY THR--ahem, yes, of course, three. (black look
at Bedevere)...will be cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril!!!
(dramatic music)
Arthur: (continuing) Sir Robin, why don't you go?
Sir Robin: Er...I've got an idea! Why doesn't Sir Lancelot go?
Sir Lancelot: Yes, I'll take him, sire. (about to draw sword) I'll make a
feint to the North-East, and then--
Arthur: No, no, just answer the questions, Sir Lancelot.
Lancelot: But I'd really like a feint to the North-East, sire...
Arthur: No, Sir Lancelot. We'll all be right behind you, listening...
Lancelot: (sheathing sword) I...understand, sire.
Arthur: Our prayers go with you, Sir Lancelot.
(Lancelot approaches the bridge. Suddenly, out of nowhere,
the BRIDGEKEEPER appears.)
Bedevere: (whispering) It's the old man from Scene 24!!
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Lancelot: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Lancelot: Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?
Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right, off you go.
Lancelot: (slightly surprised) Oh! Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
(and off he goes. The knights look at each other.)
Robin: That's EASY!!!
(A mad rush for the bridge. Robin arrives first. The knights
cluster behind. A few sniff and wrinkle their noses, and the
group backs off.)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Robin: (excitedly) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper, I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Robin: Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What...is you quest?
Robin: I seek the Grail!
Bridgekeeper: What...is the capital of Assyria?
Robin: (indignant) I don't know THAT!! (An unseen force whisks him up
and over the side.) AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!
(The knights pause, realizing this may be a bit tougher than
all that.)
*** Note: The following bit was cut from the movie. ***
Bedevere: What shall we do, sire?
Arthur: Well, I'm not sure, but...
Bridgekeeper: (off) What...goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
Sir Gawain: (off) Uh...er...ah...Babylon? AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!
*** Movie resumes. ***
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Sir Galahad: (swallowing) Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper...I am not
afraid...
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Galahad: (nervous) Sir Galahad...
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Galahad: (really nervous) To seek the Grail...
Bridgekeeper: What...is your favorite color?
Galahad: (relieved) Blue! (starts across; oops) NO!
YELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW!!!!
(Arthur steps forward)
Bridgekeeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three
Ere the other side he see.
Arthur: Ask me your questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What...is your name?
Arthur: King Arthur of the Britons!
Bridgekeeper: What...is your quest?
Arthur: I seek the Holy Grail!
Bridgekeeper: What...is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Arthur: (brief pause) What do you mean, an African or a European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: (confused) Well...I don't know...AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!
Bedevere: (crossing behind Arthur) How do you know so much about swallows,
sire?
Arthur: Well, you have to know these sorts of things when you're a king,
you know...
*** Note: The following bit was cut from the movie. ***
(Arthur and Bedevere approach a gigantic lake.
A boat in the shape of a dragon glides slowly
towards them. As they prepare to cross, the
same old man suddenly appears before them.)
Boat-keeper: STOP!
He who would cross the Sea of Fate
Must answer me these questions twenty-eight!
(Arthur and Bedevere look at each other. They look
at the old man. They look back at each other. They
pick the old man up, throw him in the water, and board
the ship.)
I just heard a report that a homosexual was found today dead in his home somewhere. Nobody really cared that he was found dead. Apparently, he has been there for weeks and no body noticed. One of his neighbors was quoted as saying:
"I thought there was a strange smell coming from his house, but I just figured it was one of those candles those homos like so much. I don't really care that he died, maybe that will keep his little dog quiet. Well, I am off to celebrate, now that there is one less faggot in the world."
I am sure that no one (except JonKatz) at slashdot will miss him. As he has contributed nothing but the further spread of AIDS in society.
Are there any weaponized viruses that can cause the sudden and catastrophic loss of all muscular control of the sphincter? If it can be delivered to large portions of the population, would we all be forced from the cities, fleeing before a sickening tidal wave of "mud", if you know what I mean and I think you do?
Why is it so offensive to you. Are you are you a homosexual or something?
If you don't like it, don't read it!
CMDERTACO SAY OOG_COME_BACK IS AN ASSHOLE_[mailto]
Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
Reason: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.
From: Don Carlson [SMTP:imgcarlson@email.msn.com]
Sent: Thursday, November 01, 2001 2:46 PM
To: Vicki Burns; Trace Woodward; Chris; Bill Gaines; Betts Ronan
(E-Mail); Curtis Plimpton; Jan Summerville; Jennel Plimpton; Brian Burns
(E-Mail); Brian Boswell (E-Mail); Dave Ryan; Bill Coughlin; John Fox; Mike
Christensen; C. Michael Cisson; Bill Frandrup; John and Cynthia Beck;
PAMELA EWART; Renee Ewart (Home E-Mail); Natalie Carlson; Loren & Nancy
Roth; Loretta and Jim Wilbur; Ted and Debbie Gott; Keith Franco; Adrienne
Carlson; Charlie Roberts; Debbie Isenberg; Denny & Fay; Duane Landrum;
Eric Gott; Father Brain D. Bjorklund; Frank Slowik; Gary Wilson; Greg
Wood; Hal Plimpton; Hector Hernandez; Jan Barletto; Janet Bertagna; Jay
and Susie Meldrum; Jim Melvin; Jim Melvin (personal); Jim Wilbur (EDS
E-Mail); Jim Young; John Rebholz; Ken Duvall; Kevin Blackburn; Lynn and
Carla Smith; Mark Carlson; Mark Kosowski; Mark Ziemkowski; Mary Carlson;
Patrick M. Pillsbury; Rand and Lisa Rath; Roland Barger; Roy and Kathi
Farrell; Ryan and Tamara Willard
Subject: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE READ!!
To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, but
this is from my good friend Pearlas Sanborn and she really is
an attorney. If she says that this will work - it WILL work.
After all, what have you got to lose?
SORRY EVERYBODY.....JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!!
I'm an attorney, and I know the law. This thing is for real.
Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises
for fear of facing a multimillion dollar class action suit similar to the
one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.
We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without
getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in
on this a few months ago. When I went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game.
She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and
was stamped "Paid In Full". Like I said before, I know the law, and this
is for real.
Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the
largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most
widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it
(if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you
$203.15.
For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will
pay you $156.29.
And for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $17.65.
Within two weeks, Intel will contact you for your address and then send you a check. I
thought this was
a scam myself, but a friend of my good friend's Aunt Patricia, who works
at Intel, actually got a check of $4,543.23 by forwarding this e-mail.
Try it, what have you got to lose????
At the end of this story, it gives you two options.
I think you will figure out what option I chose.
A cold March wind danced around the dead of night in
Dallas as the doctor walked into the small hospital
room of Diana Blessing.
Still groggy from surgery, her husband David held
her hand as they braced themselves for the latest
news.
That afternoon of March 10, 1991, complications had
forced Diana, only 24-weeks pregnant, to undergo an
emergency cesarean to deliver the couple's new
daughter,
Danae Lu Blessing.
At 12 inches long and weighing only one pound
and nine ounces, they already knew she was
perilously premature. Still, the doctor's soft words
dropped like bombs.
"I don't think she's going to make it', he said, as
kindly as he could. "There's only a 10-percent chance
she
will live through the night, and even then, if by some
slim chance she does make it, her future could be a
very cruel one".
Numb with disbelief, David and Diana listened as the
doctor described the devastating problems Danae
would likely face if she survived.
She would never walk, she would never talk, she would
probably be blind, and she would certainly be prone to
other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to
complete mental retardation, and on and on.
"No! No!" was all Diana could say. She and David, with
their
5-year-old son Dustin, had long dreamed of the day
they would
have a daughter to become a family of four. Now,
within a matter
of hours, that dream was slipping away. Through the
dark hours
of morning as Danae held onto life by the thinnest
thread, Diana
slipped in and out of sleep, growing more and more
determined
that their tiny daughter would live and live to be a
healthy,
happy young girl.
But David, fully awake and listening to additional
dire details
of their daughter's chances of ever leaving the
hospital alive,
much less healthy, knew he must confront his wife with
the
inevitable. David walked in and said that we needed to
talk
about making funeral arrangements.
Diana remembers 'I felt so bad for him because he was
doing
everything trying to include me in what was going on,
but I
just wouldn't listen, I couldn't listen.'
I said, 'No, I don't want to listen to what the
doctors say;
Danae is not going to die! One day she will be just
fine,
and she will be coming home with us!"
As if willed to live by Diana's determination, Danae
clung to
life hour after hour, with the help of every medical
machine
and marvel her miniature body could endure. But as
those first
days passed, a new agony set in for David and Diana.
Because Danae's underdeveloped nervous system was
essentially
'raw,' the lightest kiss or caress only intensified
her discomfort,
so they couldn't even cradle their tiny baby girl
against their
chests to offer the strength of their love. All they
could do, as
Danae struggled alone beneath the ultraviolet light in
the tangle
of tubes and wires, was to pray that God would stay
close to their
precious little girl.
There was never a moment when Danae suddenly grew
stronger. But as
the weeks went by, she did slowly gain an ounce of
weight here and
an ounce of strength there. At last, when Danae turned
two months old,
her parents were able to hold her in their arms for
the very first time.
And two months later, though doctors continued to
gently, but grimly
warn that her chances of surviving, much less living
any kind of normal
life, were next to zero.
Danae went home from the hospital, just as her mother
had predicted.
Today, five years later, Danae is a petite but feisty
young girl with
glittering gray eyes and an unquenchable zest for
life.
She shows no signs, whatsoever, of any mental or
physical impairment.
Simply, she is everything a little girl can be and
more, but that
happy ending is far from the end of her story.
One blistering afternoon in the summer of 1996 near
her home in Irving,
Texas, Danae was sitting in her mother's lap in the
bleachers of a local
ballpark where her brother Dustin's baseball team was
practicing.
As always, Danae was chattering nonstop with her
mother and several
other adults sitting nearby when she suddenly fell
silent.
Hugging her arms across her chest, Danae asked, "Do
you smell that?"
Smelling the air and detecting the approach of a
thunderstorm,
Diana replied, "Yes, it smells like rain."
Danae closed her eyes and again asked, "Do you smell
that?" Once again,
her mother replied, "Yes, I think we're about to get
wet, it smells like
rain."
Still caught in the moment, Danae shook her head,
patted her thin
shoulders with her small hands and loudly announced,
"No, it smells
like Him. It smells like God when you lay your head on
His chest."
Tears blurred Diana's eyes as Danae then happily
hopped down to
play with the other children. Before the rains came,
her daughter's words
confirmed what Diana and all the members of the
extended Blessing
family had known, at least in their hearts, all along.
During those long days and nights of her first two
months of her life,
when her nerves were too sensitive for them to touch
her, God was
holding Danae on His chest and it is His loving scent
that she
remembers so well.
You now have 1 of 2 choices...you can either pass this
on and let
other people catch the chills like you did, or you can
delete this
and act like it didn't touch your heart like it did
mine.
IT'S YOUR CALL!
I can do all things in Him Who strengthens me.
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