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User: Walt+Dismal

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  1. Re:Big Improvement! on Stanford CS101 Adopts JavaScript · · Score: 1

    Baah. When I was a kid, all we had was BASIC, and we liked it. And when I went on to write missile system control code, I continued to use BASIC, and it worked well and reliably, most of the time. It wasn't my fault we blew up New Jersey by accident. It's a good language and all anyone reasonably needs. You and your fancy object-oriented code and your multi-threading and your complexity. Phooey. All I need is PEEKS and POKES and a 1MHz 6502 and by god I can do nearly anything. I was using Agile methods to program in BASIC before any of you kids were out of diapers.

    I have to go now, the attendant came by with my meds.

  2. Re:Can we get a Nike endorsement? on NASA's New Bag Turns Urine Into Sports Drink · · Score: 2

    I am Bear Grylls, and I am VERY angry with you people.

  3. the downside on Evolution Machine Accelerates Genetic Engineering · · Score: 2

    " to create an organism that is genetically immune to all viruses."

    And hungry. Very, very hungry. With the ability to smell neurons.

  4. The key problem on Police Vulture Training Not a Success · · Score: 2

    The key problem was that the bird kept circling local McDonalds' and refused to leave. The trainer explained: "The smell of death made him very excited."

  5. Re:Inquiring minds... on Practical "Smell-o-Vision" System Being Developed · · Score: 1

    Since odors cling, this one's a doozy. The repetition rate for odor emission (appearance-cleanaway) is very slow. Meaning that the odor released in one scene will still be around in another scene, if used in a movie. Yeah, I'll love to have a house full of left-over odors. From The Kentucky Fried Movie: 3rd guest: CHRIST! Did a cow shit in here?

  6. And Mattel products too on Libyan Rebels Weaponize Power Wheels Toys · · Score: 1

    And this is why I created Fatwa Barbie and Anti-Semite Ken, freedom fighters for the glory of our glorious state, Burkastan. Fatwa Barbie comes with 15 different ways to ambush soldiers. Now I sing our national anthem: %%Burka Burka Burka, Burka Burka Burka Burka. All hail the People's Republic of Burkastan and remember, it's because of us that your TSA plans to strip-search you at the shopping mall. Oh, and soon we'll introduce RPG Nerf Guns, for rebels 6 and over.

  7. slight distraction on German Police Train Vultures To Find Bodies · · Score: 1

    German police declined to comment on why vultures trained to find dead bodies were found flying in frantic circles over local McDonald's restaurants.

  8. Re:Actually... on Apple Plans New Spaceship-like Campus · · Score: 1

    I was worried about the idea of a building with that much specialized curved glas being built in an earthquake zone until I realized it was not a building. What Steve did not mention about having their own power generation facility is that he meant the ship would be capable of orbit.

  9. who what on X-Men: First Class · · Score: 1

    I don't get it. Where was Superman?? Also, who were all those weird people? And what's this Cerbebro thing all about? And that blue thing. I'm all confused.

  10. Re:What could go wrong? on Integrating Capacitors Into Car Frames · · Score: 2

    On the bright side, a conductive bullet hitting the side will cause a nice discharge and maybe a fire. Or if a piece of metal pierces the capacitor after a collision, and the discharge either ignites gas fumes if the car is a hybrid, or the short heats something and causes a fire. Yes, energy storage in the frame is a really good idea. Also, if capacitors are in a door panel, which of course moves, then the energy-carrying cable leading out of the door will be flexed every time the door moves, until the day the cable breaks. Although window motor cables seem to endure without breaking, so maybe it's okay.

    I remember experiments in college with exploding-wire phenomena, where we pulsed conductors with capacitors and vaporized wires. This both generates a shock pulse and can do a soft X-ray discharge. Yeah, I want that in my car.

  11. Re:Defining novelty on What Makes a Photograph Memorable? · · Score: 1

    No, it's not a joke, and I'm trying to build AI systems that can handle such things. Before one does that, you have to bridge the gap between the humanities and computing. Hence there IS a need to define the psychology of this, and the mechanisms. No, I'm not a po-mo poser, this stuff is central to solid definition. The domain is psychology, art, literature and explanations are grounded in their frameworks. Unless you'd rather define novelty in C++. Which I'd be impressed with.

  12. Defining novelty on What Makes a Photograph Memorable? · · Score: 2

    I address this question in a (to be published) book on the psychology of entertainment where I explore the concept of novelty. Although mere newness is not enough to make something memorable, if something combines a strong design structure or a vivid one, and is both personally and culturally novel, its memorability is greatly increased. When we are young (immature experientially), almost everything is novel and gets consideration as we take in perceptions. Repeated patterns in the environment are assimilated into recognizers, so that we can detect what is unusual and possibly a threat. (Ie. that which is out of place invokes attention, leading to better chance of survival from potential threats.) I believe that the same mechanisms, with varied parameters, then serve multiple purposes including artistic perception. mechanics of reading, and so on. I am engaged in an ongoing effort to embed this principle in hybrid symbolic and neural recognizer systems, as part of a larger effort. Anyway, I leave the take-away point that memorability is a function of both perceptual system operation and interpretive deep systems drawing on culturebases, hence novelty and memorability is dependent on individual (per person) frameworks.

  13. Science: it's a tough life on Largest DNA-Based Computational Circuit Created · · Score: 4, Funny

    I keep telling girls at bars I'm a scientist who just wants to perform a complex calculation using DNA and then they throw a drink in my face for some reason.

  14. A marketing failure by a giant on The Next Phase of Intelligent TVs Will Observe You · · Score: 1

    From trial of failed product Microsoft Porn Clippy: "I see that you're watching Two Girls, One Cup. Would you like to watch 'The Sound of Music', too?"

  15. Known that Moon is hollow on Discovery of Water In Moon May Alter Origin Theory · · Score: 1

    Water estimated on moon. It's also known the moon is hollow, as demonstrated when astronauts set up geophones and explosive detonators, establishing that the moon "rang like a bell" for hours after the explosion. At least two separate sample experiments were conducted, both agreeing. So, what's the likelihood there's a deep underground body of water on the moon? And is that where the dolphins went after they said thanks for all the fish? Also where the lunar Nazi colony gets its water? And was H.G Wells right? Boy, this is fun.

  16. One direction to go on RadioShack Trying To Return To Its DIY Roots · · Score: 1

    I think recreation is a key to their having some draw. Perhaps Radio Shack can embrace Maker Faire types of projects and reserve small parts of stores for interesting kits to build, carry the magazine, and even hold store seminars on recreational building. Alternatively they can continue to carry only cell phones, plastic crap toys, and go down in history like a dinosaur trapped in tar.

  17. Re:Variable shape? on 10-Year Study Reveals Electron Shape · · Score: 1

    Are we talking about position of center of mass of a particle, or position of wavefront edges at a boundary? Or are the definitions of shape and position in need of better description from a quantum mechanical probabilistic standpoint? If a 'particle' can only be described in terms of probability of occupation of a region of space by a wave, what happens to the term 'shape'?

  18. Re:Variable shape? on 10-Year Study Reveals Electron Shape · · Score: 1

    My understanding is that actually, charge and size are not related by a constant. That is, electron size varies, hence density of an electron as occupied space to charge ratio varies, but it cannot vary to infinitely small size. The only thing stable about the electron is charge, but aside from that, it can assume different sizes. As Carver Mead notes "(I) agree with Einstein ... a lot of the confusion and counter-intuitiveness of quantum mechanics would go away if we stopped imagining elementary particles like electrons and protons as tiny points and instead saw them as waves with a boundary." And also Mead notes:

    "The electron isn't something that has a fixed physical shape. Waves propagate outwards, and they can be large or small. That's what waves do. So how big is an electron? It expands to fit the container it's in. That may be a positive charge that's attracting it - a hydrogen atom - or the walls of a conductor. A piece of wire is a container for electrons. They simply fill out the piece of wire. That's what all waves do. If you try to gather them into a smaller space, the energy level (density) goes up. That's what these Copenhagen guys call the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. But there's nothing uncertain about it. It's just a property of waves. Confine them, and you have more wavelengths in a given space, and that means a higher frequency and higher energy. But a quantum wave also tends to go to the state of lowest energy, so it will expand as long as you let it. You can make an electron that's ten feet across, there's no problem with that. It's its own medium, right? And it gets to be less and less dense as you let it expand. People regularly do experiments with neutrons that are a foot across."

    I note that Mead was a professor at Caltech and a friend and student of Richard Feynman. Also, Mead is neither an idiot nor crazy, and has been doing QM in solid state physics for decades.

  19. Variable shape? on 10-Year Study Reveals Electron Shape · · Score: 2

    I was under the impression that an electron is not a hard constant sized object but is a wave constrained to fit the boundaries of the quantum mechanical environment around it. Though variable, also cannot be compressed into infinite density either. I also thought, from chemistry, that the electron 'fits' into the various orbital states but that it's not a tiny sphere 'bouncing around' inside them but indeed a wave constrained within the orbital shapes. I would think an unconstrained wave in three dimensions is obviously symmetrical and hence spherical, but always morphs shape under the influence of any outside charge. So what really was measured here? Grandpa in the movie Moonstruck: "I'm so confused!"

  20. The next step on PLA Develops First Person Shooter With US Troops as Targets · · Score: 2

    I'd hate to see anyone develop an FPS with bank and oil company execs as the targets. That would be so wrong. Bankster gibs all over the place; oil exec, headshot, horrible. Just horrible. [cough]

  21. Re:I think it's kinda silly on Do Developers Really Need a Second Monitor? · · Score: 2

    I agree, it's silly to assume you're more productive with more than one screen. That's why my physical horizontal desktop is 1 foot square, because there's no need ever to have more than one piece of paper visible at a time on a desktop. Also, when I eat rice, I only put one grain of rice on my plate at a time. That way I never overeat. Although getting enough calories each meal is little difficult.

  22. Re:better than a group of doctors?!?! on Invent the Medical Tricorder, Win $10,000,000 · · Score: 1

    I claim this prize, as I have invented a remote rectal probe controlled like an R/C car. It can't diagnose anything, but it's a hell of a lot of fun fooling drunk people.

  23. Soon to be on New Aircraft Is Pilot Optional · · Score: 1

    Hello, welcome to the new Boeing 666 with fully automatic pilot and stewardesses. Now that we've taken off, please note that we have secured the passenger seat locks so that you cannot move. The flight attendants will now bring out the beverage cart and mobile surgical units. Do not be alarmed. Do not be alarmed. Nothing can go wrong. Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you.

  24. Re:It will be interesting on Rocket Blasts Off With Missile-Warning Satellite · · Score: 1

    Happy 4th of July! Ooops. Recall the nukes, General...

  25. Re:Dihydrogen Monoxide *is* a serious threat on The Chemical-Free Chemistry Kit · · Score: 1

    My wife has made me universally insolvent, you insensitive bastards!