"I am consulting in a biology lab that collects data on fruit..."
Well, you've come to the right place! There are lots of old fruits here. For data, try the following LINK
Enjoy!
Slashbot Fun Time Frolics Simply copy n' paste your favourite expression into a post!
"Oooh! How schweet! Does it run Linux?"
"I wonder how long it will take before Linux is ported to this puppy?"
"I was going to write the app, but I was too lazy to do it, and waited for someone else to make it instead."
"The GPL is great - Let's discuss it."
"My professor said I should be using emacs..."
"My professor said I should be using vi..."
"It's sooo easy to port this application, why hasn't anyone done it yet? I would, but I'm too busy working on the kernel and choosing new Transformers wallpaper..."
"If everyone was as talented a coder as me, we'd have beaten Microsoft by now!"
"I don't care if Windows Ultra has no bugs or security flaws whatsoever, it's still worse than Linux."
"Chyeah! Right! If it was a business requirement to use Java, they should have refused to do the project!"
"Of course I don't use Internet Explorer. I only use it when I'm forced to, like at the office, and at school, and at home..."
"The government can kiss my ass until they stop monitoring my phone calls... FREEEEEDOM!"
"I can't believe you paid money for Photoshop! GIMP is way better dude!"
"I was going to Ask Slashdot, but then I noticed that Dragonball Z was on cartoon network..."
"I've always wanted a Japanese girlfriend so I can understand my non-dubbed/subbed anime collection..."
"Uh! That's is such a rip off of Communication OS from Serial Experiments Lain!"
"Why didn't Alan ask Linus about the VM? I like being on first name basis with my heroes."
"Everyone on IRC told me Enterprise was crap. I watched it, loved it, and then told everyone I met that it was crap."
"The government is taking away my rights! This is so like '1984'!"
"I'm reading the preface to C for Dummies and my head already hurts..."
"But real programmers use a CLI! Anybody who doesn't use a Common Library Injector should have got a degree like me!"
"I'm going to code my Gamecube emulator in C, but even though I have only ever used Visual Basic Learning Edition, it should be a one banana problem and ready in the next few days."
"I hardly think you can call me a fashion victim - I been encoding to ogg since 1994"
"But I'm taking Computer Science at university; You WILL respect my opinion! I am the law!"
"I may have only just graduated, and may still be looking for work, but I've got more experience than you with your '20 years of coding'!! Get A BS!"
"I asked Neff if they would Open Source the code to my microwave, but they told me it was proprietary..."
"I know Ada, Fortran, Cobol, C, C++, Java, HTML, Perl and RPG.... Oh, I thought you meant know *of* them..."
"Free Software" User Kit
For a limited time only, get your FSF member kit.
Each kit includes:
one of pair sandals / jesus boots (beige, one size fits all) white socks not included
fresh roadkill which can be stuck to face with white pvc children's glue to simulate a beard
humorous computing t-shirt (poorly printed logo and unwashed)
various biro pens (chewed)
techie book of nostalgic MIT in-jokes which are no longer funny
souped up calculator with go-faster stripe and supports Linux
set book "Communism : The Red Way"
Halitosis Voucher - Buy one garlic based meal, get another free
All this can be yours for the bargain price of US$99.95 plus $10.95 shipping and handling.
Order now, and you could be the talk of the cube farm!
Kit comes with everything shown and will be shipped via UPS Ground for maximum damage en-route.
MOD ME DOWN!!! tee hee!
Recipe for a Slashbot
First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark.
When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard.
While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
"Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
"Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
"The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate.
Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN!!
"Maccy-Dee" by ReluctantBadger (To be sung to "Let it be" by The Beatles)
When I'm hungry and my stomach grumbles, Twenty nuggets are bought for me Three quid for a value meal, Maccy-Dee.
And in every hour of hunger, Salty fries and Mac Flurry Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
And when you see that drive-thru sign, While driving along with me, Friendly staff and service, Maccy-Dee For though we may be shortly parted While you pop in to take a pee, There will be an answer, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee, YEAH! Fast food is the answer, Maccy-Dee
And after the pubs get rowdy The Golden Arches call to me McChicken meal heals my sorrow, Maccy-Dee I like to order far too much I've been accused of gluttony Two more chocolate milkshakes, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
Take my situation. I've changed all the intranet servers over to Apache on OpenBSD, and all future internal stuff will be done in PHP. I cannot change our web application server boxes (that our clients use) which are running Win2k/IIS/ASP because the apps have been in development for over 18 months and management will not drop that much code after the money they spent. The Win2k decision was made well before I joined my present company.
Being clueful is great, but don't forget that if you've got pressure/orders from above, you have to do the best you can. If you're stuck with IIS, learn how to use it properly. Use the available tools, docs and code to lock it down, and then keep up to date with patches and test out any potential exploits.
"I could just hack in..."
Yeah, of course you could, you're so 3l33t. If IIS is properly configured by a clueful admin, it's just as secure as Apache. It's all down to the person administering the box.
"Maccy-Dee" by ReluctantBadger (To be sung to "Let it be" by The Beatles)
When I'm hungry and my stomach grumbles, Twenty nuggets are bought for me Three quid for a value meal, Maccy-Dee.
And in every hour of hunger, Salty fries and Mac Flurry Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
And when you see that drive-thru sign, While driving along with me, Friendly staff and service, Maccy-Dee For though we may be shortly parted While you pop in to take a pee, There will be an answer, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee, YEAH! Fast food is the answer, Maccy-Dee
And after the pubs get rowdy The Golden Arches call to me McChicken meal heals my sorrow, Maccy-Dee I like to order far too much I've been accused of gluttony Two more chocolate milkshakes, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
Is that 1000x performace increase going to improve gameplay? Probably not.
When I first got Secret of Mana and Mario Kart for the SNES, I was gripped. Absolutely amazing games. Although MGS2, GT3 and State of Emergency on my PS/2 are cool games, I don't get the same feeling of "gameplay" now with those titles than I did on my SNES.
Shadowrun and Metal Marines were cool too.
Slashdot to English Translator
on
Nethack 3.4.0
·
· Score: 2, Funny
1st Official Slashdot to English Translator-matic
"There's a sourceforge project creating just what you're looking
for..."
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the
idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project
has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"That's the beauty of UNIX - Lots of little tools which can be used
together. Far more flexible!"
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fuck knows what any of
this flags stuff is about"
"Linux is far more secure than Windows. My box has never been
hacked."
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a
network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"You might want to try going to college and learning about this
stuff!"
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in
an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"Microsoft products are soooo insecure!"
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot
propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my
life depended on it."
"We should file an antitrust lawsuit against Sony"
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"Have you considered using Linux?"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Don't you find that parsing this bitset through the compliation alogirithm that is piped out through GCC on a command line echo really works well for logarithmically sound sine wave matcher?"
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"If they join all the state drivers licence databases together, they'll be able to track me! How do I change my identity?"
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
"is this from martha stewart's cookbook?"
No, this came from that veritable boiling pot of poor humour and crass remarks which is my brain.
"We can't kill them all..."
-- Tubbs Tattsyrup
Recipe for a Slashbot! AGAIN!
on
Wireless Mania
·
· Score: 0, Insightful
Recipe for a Slashbot
First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark.
When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard.
While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
"Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
"Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
"The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate.
Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.
Recipe for a Slashbot
First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark.
When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard.
While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
"Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
"Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
"The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate.
Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.
oooooh this is just like George Orwell's 1984. Big Brother is Watching!
"Those who can't get this quote right deserve neither sex nor hot meals" - Abraham Lincoln.--
At work, we use Sophos for Windows 2000 and 98 workstations. Antigen for Exchange 2000 (which utilises McAfee & Sophos engines in our config, but there are more). Norton with wrapper for Mailsweeper.
Personally, I use Sophos on my Win2k workstation. It is constantly updated, and the support from Sophos is great. Plus it's a UK company;) so I'm biased!
You might want to look at H.323 -
http://www.openh323.org/. It's got support for Linux, plus H.323 is used by NetMeeting on Win32, now all you need is a Mac client. Also look at http://www.packetizer.com/h323link.html. You may even be able to do a porting from the openh323 linux code to OSX?? (not sure on this one)
"I'll try to do some reasearch and see what I can find."
What a very clever excuse to browse porn sites! At the same time, you could produce a paper on damage to skin from friction burns resulting from over-excessive chicken choking or bean flicking!
Slashbot Copy n' Paste Volume 3 : YRO Replies
on
David Brin on Privacy
·
· Score: -1
Slashbot Copy n' Paste Volume 3 : YRO Replies
Hey Kids! Save time, effort and keyboard wear n' tear by selecting a stereotypical stock reply from our list below!
Each one comes complete with no thought, intelligence or critical thinking! For a limited time only, use one of the replies below and also include the "sacrifice liberty for safety" quote free of charge!
This offer is not available in stores, as no-one would buy this bullshit anyway!
OK, here we go:
"This is just like "1984" by George Orwell! I am sure that RIAA is the Ministry of Love!"
"If only our founding fathers were alive today..."
"The corporations own America! I don't have any freedom! Waaaaa! Mommy!"
"Yeah, there was this black CIA helicopter over my house earlier..."
"I know tons about this surveillance system, but I can't post details becuase of the NDA"
"Face recognition is evil! How dare they compare me to criminals"
"This would not have prevented September 11th! Name me ONE instance where CCTV has been useful..."
"Jesus! Here comes the Thought Police"
"I found out the NSA were tapping my phones. They have no right to listen in on my conversations with grandma!"
"They may take our land, but they can never take - OUR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!"
"It won't be long before they start installing cameras in private homes. Those MONSTERS."
"This is illegal. I am protected by my CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!!!! I may only respect the ones which I like, but that's beside the point!"
"Freedom of speech is really important. It lets me demonstrate how totally ignorant I am"
"Chyeah! I don't care if trading copyrighted material is illegal, it's all about freedom of speech! Information wants to be free!"
"People like you need to wake up. Your level of awareness is up to you!"
"Sorry! AFK! I was adjusting my tin foil hat"
"I checked out 'Spot Goes Walkies' from the library, and now the NSA/CIA/FBI/TLA knows! I feel so violated!"
And don't forget, if you're gonna quote someone - Misquote it and get the credit wrong for an extra bonus!
MODERATORS:
Please feel free to moderate me down (in fact, do!). Also, moderate up anyone using phrases like the ones above - They get used in EVERY SINGLE fucking YRO article, so why change the team when it's winning?
Oh, and shouts out to The_Messenger and The Turd Report. Some quality trolling there chaps.
Slashdot Mirror
"I am consulting in a biology lab that collects data on fruit..." Well, you've come to the right place! There are lots of old fruits here. For data, try the following LINK Enjoy!
Slashbot Fun Time Frolics
Simply copy n' paste your favourite expression into a post!
"Free Software" User Kit For a limited time only, get your FSF member kit. Each kit includes:
All this can be yours for the bargain price of US$99.95 plus $10.95 shipping and handling. Order now, and you could be the talk of the cube farm!
Kit comes with everything shown and will be shipped via UPS Ground for maximum damage en-route. MOD ME DOWN!!! tee hee!
Recipe for a Slashbot First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark. When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard. While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
- "Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
- "Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
- "The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate. Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with. DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN!!What has happened to all the homo-erotic slashteam fan fiction that we were expecting this week?
;)
"Maccy-Dee" by ReluctantBadger
(To be sung to "Let it be" by The Beatles)
When I'm hungry and my stomach grumbles,
Twenty nuggets are bought for me
Three quid for a value meal, Maccy-Dee.
And in every hour of hunger,
Salty fries and Mac Flurry
Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee
I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
And when you see that drive-thru sign,
While driving along with me,
Friendly staff and service, Maccy-Dee
For though we may be shortly parted
While you pop in to take a pee,
There will be an answer, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee, YEAH!
Fast food is the answer, Maccy-Dee
And after the pubs get rowdy
The Golden Arches call to me
McChicken meal heals my sorrow, Maccy-Dee
I like to order far too much
I've been accused of gluttony
Two more chocolate milkshakes, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee
Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee
I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
Take my situation. I've changed all the intranet servers over to Apache on OpenBSD, and all future internal stuff will be done in PHP. I cannot change our web application server boxes (that our clients use) which are running Win2k/IIS/ASP because the apps have been in development for over 18 months and management will not drop that much code after the money they spent. The Win2k decision was made well before I joined my present company. Being clueful is great, but don't forget that if you've got pressure/orders from above, you have to do the best you can. If you're stuck with IIS, learn how to use it properly. Use the available tools, docs and code to lock it down, and then keep up to date with patches and test out any potential exploits.
"I could just hack in..." Yeah, of course you could, you're so 3l33t. If IIS is properly configured by a clueful admin, it's just as secure as Apache. It's all down to the person administering the box.
"Maccy-Dee" by ReluctantBadger
(To be sung to "Let it be" by The Beatles)
When I'm hungry and my stomach grumbles,
Twenty nuggets are bought for me
Three quid for a value meal, Maccy-Dee.
And in every hour of hunger,
Salty fries and Mac Flurry
Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee
I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
And when you see that drive-thru sign,
While driving along with me,
Friendly staff and service, Maccy-Dee
For though we may be shortly parted
While you pop in to take a pee,
There will be an answer, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee, YEAH!
Fast food is the answer, Maccy-Dee
And after the pubs get rowdy
The Golden Arches call to me
McChicken meal heals my sorrow, Maccy-Dee
I like to order far too much
I've been accused of gluttony
Two more chocolate milkshakes, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee
Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Maccy-Dee
Maccy-Dee, Maccy-Dee
I've got indegestion, Maccy-Dee
Thread Prediction:
Is that 1000x performace increase going to improve gameplay? Probably not. When I first got Secret of Mana and Mario Kart for the SNES, I was gripped. Absolutely amazing games. Although MGS2, GT3 and State of Emergency on my PS/2 are cool games, I don't get the same feeling of "gameplay" now with those titles than I did on my SNES. Shadowrun and Metal Marines were cool too.
1st Official Slashdot to English Translator-matic
- "There's a sourceforge project creating just what you're looking
for..."
- "That's the beauty of UNIX - Lots of little tools which can be used
together. Far more flexible!"
- "Linux is far more secure than Windows. My box has never been
hacked."
- "You might want to try going to college and learning about this
stuff!"
- "Microsoft products are soooo insecure!"
- "We should file an antitrust lawsuit against Sony"
- "Have you considered using Linux?"
- "Don't you find that parsing this bitset through the compliation alogirithm that is piped out through GCC on a command line echo really works well for logarithmically sound sine wave matcher?"
- "If they join all the state drivers licence databases together, they'll be able to track me! How do I change my identity?"
Don't forget to mod me down!"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fuck knows what any of this flags stuff is about"
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my life depended on it."
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
"is this from martha stewart's cookbook?" No, this came from that veritable boiling pot of poor humour and crass remarks which is my brain. "We can't kill them all..." -- Tubbs Tattsyrup
- "Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
- "Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
- "The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate. Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.- "Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
- "Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
- "The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate. Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.The system you are referring to is called DRUGFIRE. It's been around for a loooooooong time.
oooooh this is just like George Orwell's 1984. Big Brother is Watching! "Those who can't get this quote right deserve neither sex nor hot meals" - Abraham Lincoln.--
At work, we use Sophos for Windows 2000 and 98 workstations. Antigen for Exchange 2000 (which utilises McAfee & Sophos engines in our config, but there are more). Norton with wrapper for Mailsweeper. Personally, I use Sophos on my Win2k workstation. It is constantly updated, and the support from Sophos is great. Plus it's a UK company ;) so I'm biased!
You might want to look at H.323 - http://www.openh323.org/. It's got support for Linux, plus H.323 is used by NetMeeting on Win32, now all you need is a Mac client. Also look at http://www.packetizer.com/h323link.html. You may even be able to do a porting from the openh323 linux code to OSX?? (not sure on this one)
"I'll try to do some reasearch and see what I can find." What a very clever excuse to browse porn sites! At the same time, you could produce a paper on damage to skin from friction burns resulting from over-excessive chicken choking or bean flicking!
Slashbot Copy n' Paste Volume 3 : YRO Replies Hey Kids! Save time, effort and keyboard wear n' tear by selecting a stereotypical stock reply from our list below! Each one comes complete with no thought, intelligence or critical thinking! For a limited time only, use one of the replies below and also include the "sacrifice liberty for safety" quote free of charge! This offer is not available in stores, as no-one would buy this bullshit anyway! OK, here we go:
- "This is just like "1984" by George Orwell! I am sure that RIAA is the Ministry of Love!"
- "If only our founding fathers were alive today..."
- "The corporations own America! I don't have any freedom! Waaaaa! Mommy!"
- "Yeah, there was this black CIA helicopter over my house earlier..."
- "I know tons about this surveillance system, but I can't post details becuase of the NDA"
- "Face recognition is evil! How dare they compare me to criminals"
- "This would not have prevented September 11th! Name me ONE instance where CCTV has been useful..."
- "Jesus! Here comes the Thought Police"
- "I found out the NSA were tapping my phones. They have no right to listen in on my conversations with grandma!"
- "They may take our land, but they can never take - OUR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!"
- "It won't be long before they start installing cameras in private homes. Those MONSTERS."
- "This is illegal. I am protected by my CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!!!! I may only respect the ones which I like, but that's beside the point!"
- "Freedom of speech is really important. It lets me demonstrate how totally ignorant I am"
- "Chyeah! I don't care if trading copyrighted material is illegal, it's all about freedom of speech! Information wants to be free!"
- "People like you need to wake up. Your level of awareness is up to you!"
- "Sorry! AFK! I was adjusting my tin foil hat"
- "I checked out 'Spot Goes Walkies' from the library, and now the NSA/CIA/FBI/TLA knows! I feel so violated!"
And don't forget, if you're gonna quote someone - Misquote it and get the credit wrong for an extra bonus! MODERATORSPlease feel free to moderate me down (in fact, do!). Also, moderate up anyone using phrases like the ones above - They get used in EVERY SINGLE fucking YRO article, so why change the team when it's winning? Oh, and shouts out to The_Messenger and The Turd Report. Some quality trolling there chaps.
Which city? Any links? Proof? That was a stunning piece of karma whoring there... Congratulations! Trollin' for Keira
I know
Who told you? I thought that came off my record already...