HEY KIDS!!
Avoid wasting time typing out "Ask Slashdot" questions. Select one of the framework questions from below and modify as necessary! Sweet!
I'm researching a paper on fluid dynamics. I haven't done any work all semester as I have been playing Quake on my Windows ME machine and watching Cowboy Bebop on Cartoon Network. My paper is due in tomorrow. Could any Slashdot readers shed some light onto a topic which I clearly know nothing about.
I have just installed Linux in my company. It took months of pestering and annoying senior managers for them to let me do it. Seeing as I've only ever installed Red Hat from a bootable CD and X won't start, I feel that this is the right solution for my company as they are using evil MS products now. Could anybody please come over and help me install this because now I'm in a really embarassing situation. Thank you.
Hi! I've recently been using Linux. I've used Red Hat and Debian. Which distribution is better? In fact, I've even been considering which O/S is better out of Linux and FreeBSD. Could anybody out there in slashdot land offer some advice? Your thoughts on emacs and vi are also appreciated.
Greetings fellow slashdotters. I'v recently just graduated from university. I reckon I know everything about computers and unix and micro$oft (tee hee funny dollar symbol!), and now I'm going to ask you a question. Not because I really want help or advice, but because I want to show off. Me and a buddy just got huge paying jobs with some pissy little startup that'll be bust in a year, and now we're in over our heads 'cos we told them we could do programming in C.
I'm really interested in kernel hacking. I'm not going to tell you which kernel, because you will all assume I mean Linux. I've never done any programming, I'm not quite sure what a CPU is and I don't know if I'm going to have time as it's my 13th birthday next week. Can any slashdot readers advise me of the way to go?
I've just been assigned a task to secure all communications between our fleet of oil tankers. I'm going to use Linux but I'm not sure how. Can anyone offer some thoughts or experiences of computers, RF, cryptography or being on a boat. God only knows how I got this job.
And there you have it! Please post suggestions or requests below, and moderate me down for wasting your time. Thank you.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
"There's a sourceforge project creating just what you're looking
for..."
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the
idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project
has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"That's the beauty of UNIX - Lots of little tools which can be used
together. Far more flexible!"
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fuck knows what any of
this flags stuff is about"
"Linux is far more secure than Windows. My box has never been
hacked."
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a
network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"You might want to try going to college and learning about this
stuff!"
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in
an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"Microsoft products are soooo insecure!"
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot
propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my
life depended on it."
"We should file an antitrust lawsuit against Sony"
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"Have you considered using Linux?"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Don't you find that parsing this bitset through the compliation alogirithm that is piped out through GCC on a command line echo really works well for logarithmically sound sine wave matcher?"
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"If they join all the state drivers licence databases together, they'll be able to track me! How do I change my identity?"
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
"That's just flat out cool."
What? No pant creaming rant over infrigement of civil liberties and invasion of privacy? Gosh. My advice to the rest of the Slashteam is to check Taco's next bank statement. Incoming transfers from CalisIAtech Inc might be indicate his sudden change of rhetoric.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
Recipe for a Slashbot
First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a
"C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him
to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up
sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all
the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of
commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux
operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with
backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular
attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for
every iteration of the Microsoft trademark.
When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of
Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to
add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of
fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes
cannot and will never code to a good standard.
While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit
ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
"Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information
wants to be free.
"Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely
ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and
values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
"The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions
such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about
how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a
bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the
boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a
student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare
argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your
slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed
Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate.
Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with
basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social
skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout
out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree
with.
Zealot, pig headed and bloody minded,
Sterotypical Slashdot user;
The worse thing is the editors,
One's an habitual child abuser!
News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters.
We hear it all the time;
You'll be moderated into oblivion,
Unless you toe the party line.
Government corruption, RIAA lies,
Oh! A big tax on MP3!
I've got 40 gigs of music,
And none owing to piracy.
Flame and SHOUT and type *sigh*
It makes themselves look gay;
On any proper message board,
They'd just be cleared away!
First year of a uni ed,
They think they know it all;
Installed RedHat from a CD,
And blitzed the '98 install.
But soon they'll notice problems,
When MS Word will work no more;
The answer to their worries is
Q247804
Jesus Christ this site is lame,
Predictable Microsoft bashing;
But no-one mentions the 2.4 tree,
When bug caused filesystem crashing.
Security holes debated all the time,
You'd think they'd get it right;
But Linux servers are just as bad,
Warnings published out of sight.
Linux this and Linux that,
Open Source Mandrake Red Hat;
"I wanna hack my microwave!",
Piss off you stupid twat.
To sum it up with a simple phrase,
(the zealots have started crying);
Linux was just a fad and phase,
Thank god Slashdot is dying.
Zealot, pig headed and bloody minded,
Sterotypical Slashdot user;
The worse thing is the editors,
One's an habitual child abuser!
News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters.
We hear it all the time;
You'll be moderated into oblivion,
Unless you toe the party line.
Government corruption, RIAA lies,
Oh! A big tax on MP3!
I've got 40 gigs of music,
And none owing to piracy.
Flame and SHOUT and type *sigh*
It makes themselves look gay;
On any proper message board,
They'd just be cleared away!
First year of a uni ed,
They think they know it all;
Installed RedHat from a CD,
And blitzed the '98 install.
But soon they'll notice problems,
When MS Word will work no more;
The answer to their worries is
Q247804
Jesus Christ this site is lame,
Predictable Microsoft bashing;
But no-one mentions the 2.4 tree,
When bug caused filesystem crashing.
Security holes debated all the time,
You'd think they'd get it right;
But Linux servers are just as bad,
Warnings published out of sight.
Linux this and Linux that,
Open Source Mandrake Red Hat;
"I wanna hack my microwave!",
Piss off you stupid twat.
To sum it up with a simple phrase,
(the zealots have started crying);
Linux was just a fad and phase,
Thank god Slashdot is dying.
Wednesday 22 May, 2002
HOLLAND, MI - Authorities are investigating the ever increasing incidents of cavity searches at Township Airport, which is situated 4 miles northwest of the town of Holland. Official records show that there has been over a 500% increase in the number of full cavity searches conducted by its officials between 1994 and 2002. The number of searches being conducted has steadily risen each year, and now authorities are becoming concerned that there is a problem.
A security officer within the airport revealed that the majority of these searches are being conducted on a very small group of regular travellers. The issue was first raised by an administrative worker, who noticed the spending on lubricant and latex gloves and raised the alarm with senior management. One source within the airport told us that the cavity searches were even being conducted at the request of the passengers themselves. On one occasion, a passenger even removed his trousers prior to leaving the aircraft in anticipation of the check.
A female passenger lodged a complaint with airport staff after finding a man inserting aniseed sweets up his rectum outside a phone kiosk. The man, known only as Katz, has been spotted on several occasions, walking back and forth past the guard dogs and generally looking suspicious. Experts examining the case think that this behaviour is consitent with attempting to induce the need for a rectal examination.
In March, Robert Malda was arrested by Michigan State Police for sexually harassing security staff at the airport. Stephen Young, a guard at the airport, filed a complaint after Malda cornered him by an X-Ray machine. Malda was dragged away from the airport screaming "Stevie's pinkie is bigger than CowboyNeal's fist!"
Airport officials say the investigation is still underway, but have hinted that the majority of these problems seem to be caused by men carrying laptop computers and wearing t-shirts emblazoned with a penguin.
Wednesday 22 May, 2002
HOLLAND, MI - Authorities are investigating the ever increasing incidents of cavity searches at Township Airport, which is situated 4 miles northwest of the town of Holland. Official records show that there has been over a 500% increase in the number of full cavity searches conducted by its officials between 1994 and 2002. The number of searches being conducted has steadily risen each year, and now authorities are becoming concerned that there is a problem.
A security officer within the airport revealed that the majority of these searches are being conducted on a very small group of regular travellers. The issue was first raised by an administrative worker, who noticed the spending on lubricant and latex gloves and raised the alarm with senior management. One source within the airport told us that the cavity searches were even being conducted at the request of the passengers themselves. On one occasion, a passenger even removed his trousers prior to leaving the aircraft in anticipation of the check.
A female passenger lodged a complaint with airport staff after finding a man inserting aniseed sweets up his rectum outside a phone kiosk. The man, known only as Katz, has been spotted on several occasions, walking back and forth past the guard dogs and generally looking suspicious. Experts examining the case think that this behaviour is consitent with attempting to induce the need for a rectal examination.
In March, Robert Malda was arrested by Michigan State Police for sexually harassing security staff at the airport. Stephen Young, a guard at the airport, filed a complaint after Malda cornered him by an X-Ray machine. Malda was dragged away from the airport screaming "Stevie's pinkie is bigger than CowboyNeal's fist!"
Airport officials say the investigation is still underway, but have hinted that the majority of these problems seem to be caused by men carrying laptop computers and wearing t-shirts emblazoned with a penguin.
Most European countries require a person to be 25 or older to rent a vehicle. If you've just graduated, there may be an issue there.
Take LOTS of cigarettes with you. Whether you smoke or not, as bribes they will make your journey much easier in the old eastern block countries..
Research. Thoroughly check the areas you want to visit well ahead of time.
Language phrase books. If your truck breaks down, a Linux box with Garmin GPS will not help you at all. Practice the lingo before you go.
Get the phone numbers and addresses for all US/British embassies for each country you travel to. If you have a major problem, you can speak to someone in English.
Get a friend/relative/babelfish/school mate to create a letter with "In Emergency Please Contact" in every language plus your family contact details and keep it in your pocket/wallet.
In other words, to hell with GPS/iPAQs and that crap. Get good, up to date paper maps and some plastic map protector covers. You will spill coffee on them.
"...we later discovered was that she'd only closed down a few of the webserver's non-essential ports..."
I think I found the source of your angst - A female techie with an MCSE. Not only do you feel intimidated by the presence of a female among your 3l33t group, but she also has a qualification.
Recipe for a Slashbot
First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark.
When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard.
While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
"Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
"Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
"The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate.
Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started...
In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2.
Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT -
whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main
dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow
of +2, Insightful.
Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really
matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading
FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy
code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing
games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks
gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot
between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are
any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE
are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get
a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference
that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a
karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences
of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a
link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra
raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot
wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any
mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1,
Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to
goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for
telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam
darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm
about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff
who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN! GO ON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!
Have you reformed?!?!?
7 posts, and you have yet to insult minorities or accuse Linux users of being raving queens!
Are we seeing one of/.'s most offensive trolls cleaning up his/her act? If so, I am greatly disappointed!
Slashdot Mirror
HEY KIDS!!
Avoid wasting time typing out "Ask Slashdot" questions. Select one of the framework questions from below and modify as necessary! Sweet!
- I'm researching a paper on fluid dynamics. I haven't done any work all semester as I have been playing Quake on my Windows ME machine and watching Cowboy Bebop on Cartoon Network. My paper is due in tomorrow. Could any Slashdot readers shed some light onto a topic which I clearly know nothing about.
- I have just installed Linux in my company. It took months of pestering and annoying senior managers for them to let me do it. Seeing as I've only ever installed Red Hat from a bootable CD and X won't start, I feel that this is the right solution for my company as they are using evil MS products now. Could anybody please come over and help me install this because now I'm in a really embarassing situation. Thank you.
- Hi! I've recently been using Linux. I've used Red Hat and Debian. Which distribution is better? In fact, I've even been considering which O/S is better out of Linux and FreeBSD. Could anybody out there in slashdot land offer some advice? Your thoughts on emacs and vi are also appreciated.
- Greetings fellow slashdotters. I'v recently just graduated from university. I reckon I know everything about computers and unix and micro$oft (tee hee funny dollar symbol!), and now I'm going to ask you a question. Not because I really want help or advice, but because I want to show off. Me and a buddy just got huge paying jobs with some pissy little startup that'll be bust in a year, and now we're in over our heads 'cos we told them we could do programming in C.
- I'm really interested in kernel hacking. I'm not going to tell you which kernel, because you will all assume I mean Linux. I've never done any programming, I'm not quite sure what a CPU is and I don't know if I'm going to have time as it's my 13th birthday next week. Can any slashdot readers advise me of the way to go?
- I've just been assigned a task to secure all communications between our fleet of oil tankers. I'm going to use Linux but I'm not sure how. Can anyone offer some thoughts or experiences of computers, RF, cryptography or being on a boat. God only knows how I got this job.
And there you have it! Please post suggestions or requests below, and moderate me down for wasting your time. Thank you.It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
- The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
- Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
- Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
- Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
- BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
- Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN!1st Official Slashdot to English Translator-matic
"Me and a bunch of people got drunk, thought we could code, submitted the idea and produced a fancy web page. It's now two years later and the project has no files to download and is STILL on Stage 1, Planning."
"I've been reading UNIX in a Nutshell for SVR4 and fuck knows what any of this flags stuff is about"
"I can install Red Hat from a bootable CD. The machine is not connected to a network and all I do all day is type ps, pwd and ls. I'm so l33t."
"My folks are rich enough to send me off for further education. I am now in an uber-elite crowd of know-it-alls and I am here to belittle you. Fear me."
"I've spent the last two years being subjected to biased slashdot propaganda. I couldn't hack into a properly configured windows system if my life depended on it."
"I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury items, I'm gonna whinge and bitch anyway"
"I've only been using it for a week, and now my hardcore wannabe techno friends think I'm a guru. I now recommend it to everybody based upon what I've read at slashdot."
"Somebody please shoot me several times in the head. I am fucking clueless."
"I'm too fucking dense to realise that this has been going on for over 15 years already, and I've just finished reading 1984. Go figure."
"infringement" and "indicating". Oh well, fuck the lot of you.
"That's just flat out cool." What? No pant creaming rant over infrigement of civil liberties and invasion of privacy? Gosh. My advice to the rest of the Slashteam is to check Taco's next bank statement. Incoming transfers from CalisIAtech Inc might be indicate his sudden change of rhetoric.
Best "New Outer Limits" episode ever. Well, that and "Bits of Love".
Wednesday 29th May 2002 REUTERS - NASDAQ traders revealed today that there has been a massive surge in the purchase of VA Software (LNUX) shares. The company, which has been in financial difficulty for some time, has had 57% of its shares purchased by the Kimberly-Clark Corporation (KMB). Jonathan Mason, a spokesman for the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, confirmed the purchase to Reuters reporters earlier today. "We're very pleased with the acquisition of the VA stock. We now have a cheap alternative for acquiring raw materials for our products. VA shares are less than worthless, and we plan on using the share ceritifcates to make all of our toilet paper for the North American market." Analysts predict that the use of the share certificates will enable KMB to greatly increase the output of bog roll for the financial year 2002/3. The remaining materials will be used to create bandages for hospital patients who have gangrenous infections. Kimberly-Clark also has the option to take up the remaining 43% of VA Stock in December 2002. Inside sources reveal that if this is taken, the assets of the company will be removed and its staff made redundant. IT specialists at KMB tell us that they plan to reformat Slashdot servers as Microsoft
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
- The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
- Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
- Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
- Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
- BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
- Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN!Wednesday 29th May 2002 REUTERS - NASDAQ traders revealed today that there has been a massive surge in the purchase of VA Software (LNUX) shares. The company, which has been in financial difficulty for some time, has had 57% of its shares purchased by the Kimberly-Clark Corporation (KMB). Jonathan Mason, a spokesman for the Kimberly-Clark Corporation, confirmed the purchase to Reuters reporters earlier today. "We're very pleased with the acquisition of the VA stock. We now have a cheap alternative for acquiring raw materials for our products. VA shares are less than worthless, and we plan on using the share ceritifcates to make all of our toilet paper for the North American market." Analysts predict that the use of the share certificates will enable KMB to greatly increase the output of bog roll for the financial year 2002/3. The remaining materials will be used to create bandages for hospital patients who have gangrenous infections. Kimberly-Clark also has the option to take up the remaining 43% of VA Stock in December 2002. Inside sources reveal that if this is taken, the assets of the company will be removed and its staff made redundant. IT specialists at KMB tell us that they plan to reformat Slashdot servers as Microsoft
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
Recipe for a Slashbot First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark. When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard. While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
- "Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information
wants to be free.
- "Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely
ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and
values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
- "The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions
such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about
how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate. Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.Zealot, pig headed and bloody minded,
Sterotypical Slashdot user;
The worse thing is the editors,
One's an habitual child abuser! News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters.
We hear it all the time;
You'll be moderated into oblivion,
Unless you toe the party line. Government corruption, RIAA lies,
Oh! A big tax on MP3!
I've got 40 gigs of music,
And none owing to piracy. Flame and SHOUT and type *sigh*
It makes themselves look gay;
On any proper message board,
They'd just be cleared away! First year of a uni ed,
They think they know it all;
Installed RedHat from a CD,
And blitzed the '98 install. But soon they'll notice problems,
When MS Word will work no more;
The answer to their worries is
Q247804 Jesus Christ this site is lame,
Predictable Microsoft bashing;
But no-one mentions the 2.4 tree,
When bug caused filesystem crashing. Security holes debated all the time,
You'd think they'd get it right;
But Linux servers are just as bad,
Warnings published out of sight. Linux this and Linux that,
Open Source Mandrake Red Hat;
"I wanna hack my microwave!",
Piss off you stupid twat. To sum it up with a simple phrase,
(the zealots have started crying);
Linux was just a fad and phase,
Thank god Slashdot is dying.
Zealot, pig headed and bloody minded,
Sterotypical Slashdot user;
The worse thing is the editors,
One's an habitual child abuser! News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters.
We hear it all the time;
You'll be moderated into oblivion,
Unless you toe the party line. Government corruption, RIAA lies,
Oh! A big tax on MP3!
I've got 40 gigs of music,
And none owing to piracy. Flame and SHOUT and type *sigh*
It makes themselves look gay;
On any proper message board,
They'd just be cleared away! First year of a uni ed,
They think they know it all;
Installed RedHat from a CD,
And blitzed the '98 install. But soon they'll notice problems,
When MS Word will work no more;
The answer to their worries is
Q247804 Jesus Christ this site is lame,
Predictable Microsoft bashing;
But no-one mentions the 2.4 tree,
When bug caused filesystem crashing. Security holes debated all the time,
You'd think they'd get it right;
But Linux servers are just as bad,
Warnings published out of sight. Linux this and Linux that,
Open Source Mandrake Red Hat;
"I wanna hack my microwave!",
Piss off you stupid twat. To sum it up with a simple phrase,
(the zealots have started crying);
Linux was just a fad and phase,
Thank god Slashdot is dying.
Wednesday 22 May, 2002 HOLLAND, MI - Authorities are investigating the ever increasing incidents of cavity searches at Township Airport, which is situated 4 miles northwest of the town of Holland. Official records show that there has been over a 500% increase in the number of full cavity searches conducted by its officials between 1994 and 2002. The number of searches being conducted has steadily risen each year, and now authorities are becoming concerned that there is a problem. A security officer within the airport revealed that the majority of these searches are being conducted on a very small group of regular travellers. The issue was first raised by an administrative worker, who noticed the spending on lubricant and latex gloves and raised the alarm with senior management. One source within the airport told us that the cavity searches were even being conducted at the request of the passengers themselves. On one occasion, a passenger even removed his trousers prior to leaving the aircraft in anticipation of the check. A female passenger lodged a complaint with airport staff after finding a man inserting aniseed sweets up his rectum outside a phone kiosk. The man, known only as Katz, has been spotted on several occasions, walking back and forth past the guard dogs and generally looking suspicious. Experts examining the case think that this behaviour is consitent with attempting to induce the need for a rectal examination. In March, Robert Malda was arrested by Michigan State Police for sexually harassing security staff at the airport. Stephen Young, a guard at the airport, filed a complaint after Malda cornered him by an X-Ray machine. Malda was dragged away from the airport screaming "Stevie's pinkie is bigger than CowboyNeal's fist!" Airport officials say the investigation is still underway, but have hinted that the majority of these problems seem to be caused by men carrying laptop computers and wearing t-shirts emblazoned with a penguin.
Wednesday 22 May, 2002 HOLLAND, MI - Authorities are investigating the ever increasing incidents of cavity searches at Township Airport, which is situated 4 miles northwest of the town of Holland. Official records show that there has been over a 500% increase in the number of full cavity searches conducted by its officials between 1994 and 2002. The number of searches being conducted has steadily risen each year, and now authorities are becoming concerned that there is a problem. A security officer within the airport revealed that the majority of these searches are being conducted on a very small group of regular travellers. The issue was first raised by an administrative worker, who noticed the spending on lubricant and latex gloves and raised the alarm with senior management. One source within the airport told us that the cavity searches were even being conducted at the request of the passengers themselves. On one occasion, a passenger even removed his trousers prior to leaving the aircraft in anticipation of the check. A female passenger lodged a complaint with airport staff after finding a man inserting aniseed sweets up his rectum outside a phone kiosk. The man, known only as Katz, has been spotted on several occasions, walking back and forth past the guard dogs and generally looking suspicious. Experts examining the case think that this behaviour is consitent with attempting to induce the need for a rectal examination. In March, Robert Malda was arrested by Michigan State Police for sexually harassing security staff at the airport. Stephen Young, a guard at the airport, filed a complaint after Malda cornered him by an X-Ray machine. Malda was dragged away from the airport screaming "Stevie's pinkie is bigger than CowboyNeal's fist!" Airport officials say the investigation is still underway, but have hinted that the majority of these problems seem to be caused by men carrying laptop computers and wearing t-shirts emblazoned with a penguin.
- Most European countries require a person to be 25 or older to rent a vehicle. If you've just graduated, there may be an issue there.
- Take LOTS of cigarettes with you. Whether you smoke or not, as bribes they will make your journey much easier in the old eastern block countries..
- Research. Thoroughly check the areas you want to visit well ahead of time.
- Language phrase books. If your truck breaks down, a Linux box with Garmin GPS will not help you at all. Practice the lingo before you go.
- Get the phone numbers and addresses for all US/British embassies for each country you travel to. If you have a major problem, you can speak to someone in English.
- Get a friend/relative/babelfish/school mate to create a letter with "In Emergency Please Contact" in every language plus your family contact details and keep it in your pocket/wallet.
In other words, to hell with GPS/iPAQs and that crap. Get good, up to date paper maps and some plastic map protector covers. You will spill coffee on them."...we later discovered was that she'd only closed down a few of the webserver's non-essential ports..." I think I found the source of your angst - A female techie with an MCSE. Not only do you feel intimidated by the presence of a female among your 3l33t group, but she also has a qualification.
"... it was like a ray of light dropped down from above, and the Case was good." Yeah, but do you know what's in there?!!A MAC!
Here's your answer...
Recipe for a Slashbot First, take a teenage boy (not like that, Katz does that later). Next, give him a "C for Dummies" book and then get his folks to cough up enough cash to send him to university. Simmer with annoying teens of a similar ilk until enough pent up sexual frustration allows the boy to feel rebellious towards his country and all the laws that have got him to university in the first place. Next, add a dash of commie ideals and force repeatedly down with generous helpings of the Linux operating system. Now that the wannabe "hacker" has had his mind filled with backwashed rubbish, add in a dash of anti-Microsoft sentiment. Pay particular attention at this stage and make sure that said boy also uses a dollar symbol for every iteration of the Microsoft trademark. When complete, prepare the "Source". Mix a little piss-poor C code with a hint of Perl. Stir with adequate helpings of MySQL. Now add emacs and vi - just enough to add spice and future raging flame war material. Now shake until a large mess of fucking awful "Source" is produced. Most of these "I hack the kernel" wannabes cannot and will never code to a good standard. While simmering the "Source", open the boy up and stuff him full of bullshit ideology. Recommended ingredients are:
- "Freedom of Speech" : I can trade copyrighted MP3s because information wants to be free.
- "Free the Chinese from internet monitoring by Big Brother" : I completely ignore the fact that they have a right to live with their own culture, ideals and values as is stated in MY OWN FUCKING CONSTITUTION.
- "The government is out to get me" : Start working with Linux distributions such as Tin Foil Hat and then post completely raving non-sensical rubbish about how 'the NSA has been bugging me for years'.
When "Source" is ready, open a PayPal account and hand over a few dollars to a bunch of useless chimps who can't spell. While waiting for the boy to come to the boil, peruse Slashdot. Find hundreds of arrogant comments posted by "I'm a student and I know Linux so I must be a fucking computing god and don't you dare argue with me" types, print out and stuff into boy. 30 minutes later, your slashbot is complete. Finish off nicely with a side-order of Debian CDs, unwashed Linux t-shirt and ThinkGeek gift certificate. Your final result should be : An arrogant, paranoid, smelly know-it-all with basic UNIX capabilities, fuck-all programming ability and appalling social skills. You will find that the result of your labours will be the first to shout out about freedom of speech, but will quickly moderate down anyone they disagree with.Learning how to spell will be an invaluable primary skill.
It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
- The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
- Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
- Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
- Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
- BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
- Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN!It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
- The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2. Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT - whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow of +2, Insightful.
- Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
- Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
- Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
- BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1, Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
- Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN!It is 10pm. Do you know where your karma is?
Right! Let us get started... In order to get maximum karma from Slashdot posting, you can follow a few simple guidelines.
- The University you go to. Regardless of where you actually study, saying that you're at MIT automagically gains you +2.
Slashdot, like the glorified student notice board that it is, has a special place in its heart for anything from MIT -
whether it be a teddy bear stuffed with a switch, or some wankers wrapping a yellow banner with elvish text around the main
dome. Even if you didn't go to university, qualify every comment with a "My professor told me" to bask in the warm fuzzy glow
of +2, Insightful.
- Linux. The basis of the "Slashdot Experience". Claiming you run Linux also gets you +1, Interesting. It doesn't really
matter if you've never actually installed it, or your Red Hat box still doesn't have PPP running after 2 years of reading
FAQs. The important bit is - You're part of the community. You can bathe in the refelected glory of years of shoddy, buggy
code. You are exempt from the Microsoft penalty (see below) as, of course, your Win 98 install is only used for playing
games. And reading Slashdot. And using MS Word. And Photoshop. And....
- Microsoft. Slashbots and the editors hate Microsoft. Period. Use of a $ symbol in every iteration of their trademarks
gets you a +4, Funny. Even though it is far from original, it still manages to raise a grin in those people reading Slashdot
between episodes of Cowboy Bebop. You will get a -1, Flamebait or Troll for any post even hinting that Microsoft products are
any good / useful / intuitive / user friendly. You will also quickly be shot down with replies about how good GNOME and KDE
are, which will then in turn erupt into a flame war.
- Freedom / Privacy / YRO. The bread and butter of Slashdot. It fits in sublimely with the whole "Linux" thing. You'll get
a +3, Informative for any post containing the Ben Franklin quote about sacrificing essential liberty. It makes no difference
that the quote is totally irrelevant in the modern world - Hey, you've got karma! Mis-credting the quote will not end up in a
karma penalty, as has been demonstrated countless times. You will gain extra karma if you make reference to your experiences
of being wire-tapped by the NSA, and throwing in a vague link to Echelon, black helicopters or Tin Foil Hat Linux. Include a
link to the First Amendment for a +1, Interesting mod. Give yourself a pat on the back if you manage to include some extra
raging paranoia with no evidence to back it up. Nice!
- BSD. If you use it, don't mention it on Slashdot. Most of the Linux-using friendless wonders that inhabit Slashdot
wouldn't know quality and stability if it strolled up and kicked them in the throat with a size 13 HiTec Magnum boot. Any
mention of how a Firewall running OpenBSD with pf is far superior to Linux's pathetic offering will soon see you as -1,
Troll. Much like the post you're reading now.
- Yearning for yester-year. Although most comments are written by first year "wannabe-CS-guru" students or links to
goatse.cx, there is still the fallout dregs of the dot com boom lurking around slashdot. You can get +5, Insightful for
telling how you were so badly treated after the bubble burst. Whining about the lack of jobs where you get paid to fire foam
darts at colleagues is a good start. Don't forget to mention how you've now been out of work for months - It starts a "I'm
about to graduate and there's nothing going" fuckfest which can spill over into hundreds of comments. Although all the staff
who were any good simply got hired into another company, it makes "Good Karma Sense"® to hide the fact that your passing familiarity with Perl and C simply can't get you a job. This is also a prime opportunity to show your egregious personality, as Slashdot rewards arrogance and elitism.
DON'T FORGET TO MOD ME DOWN! GO ON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!Have you reformed?!?!?
7 posts, and you have yet to insult minorities or accuse Linux users of being raving queens!
Are we seeing one of