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User: switcha

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Comments · 482

  1. You think you're kidding, on Alternative Energy: Power Via Coastal Wave Motion. · · Score: 2, Interesting

    but you're not far off. At the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, OR, they have a floor on a suspension system. The whole thing moves under your feet a little. If you could harness it, you could probably generate just enough electricity to pump out the cigarette nimbus clouds that accumulate during concerts.

  2. My OnStar in 50 years... on North Pole is Leaving Canada · · Score: 4, Funny
    adjust your compass daily

    "Hello OnStar, how may I help you Mr. Jones?"

    "I think I'm lost. I need to get downtown. Can you tell me where I am?"

    "It says you are 10 miles out in the Pacific, Mr. Jones. Do you need assistance?"

  3. Like the guys in my office aren't annoying enough on Virtual Keyboard a Reality · · Score: 1
    "Rich, quit tapping your fingers on your desk! You're driving me nuts!"

    "I'm just working, here."

    "Fine, work all you want, just quit drumming your fingers."

    ...dubba dub dub dubba... dub dub dubba dub...

    "Rich, dammit! Didn't you hear me?"

  4. Re:Blogger + Movie Theater + Internet = on First 802.11 Wireless Movie Theater? · · Score: 1

    Awesome. Now I can sift through 5,000 l33t d00dz p4gez to read a movie review written by a 15 year old, instead of listening to my fav' critic who shares my taste and saw it last week.

  5. You'll learn to cry and like it! on First 802.11 Wireless Movie Theater? · · Score: 1
    HA HA! So right!

    However, I'm gonna hazard a guess that if she drags your ass to go see Return to Me, you ain't getting away with downloading the latest Mozilla build when you are supposed to be learning the "correct" way to be a "sensitive guy."

  6. Re:They should make things that BLOCK wireless.. on First 802.11 Wireless Movie Theater? · · Score: 1
    Of course, there's always that blind person who has a cell phone...

    Of course that blind person, along with everyone and their mom, didn't even have cell phones too long ago. What did they do then?

  7. Re:from the site... on First 802.11 Wireless Movie Theater? · · Score: 2, Funny

    -See Theater Schedules & Order Movie Tickets to coming shows. be impatient
    -Messaging to Fellow Movie goers adjacent in the crowd without talking. be a loser
    -Messaging to Fellow Movie goers in adjacent screens in multi-screen venues without talking. be a loser
    -Surfing to related or official websites for the current movie showing. be impatient
    -Surfing to the InternetMovieDataBase for related data to movie, actors and screen writers. be a loser
    -Connecting to promotions related to movie sponsor. be a sponsor's wet dream
    -Driving the movie content in real-time via audience response in Digital Theaters. be a loser
    -Ordering Food and drinks from the kitchen and bar without talking. be a lazy slob
    -Ordering the movie soundtrack online or video releases in advance. be impatient
    -Watching an alternate streaming movie if the one on the big screen doesn't make it for you. leave, you dumbass

  8. That'd be great until... on First 802.11 Wireless Movie Theater? · · Score: 1

    Yeah, fine until some @sshole comes in with his Digital Hub and takes up the whole damn table while blaring "Who Let the Dogs Out?".

  9. Re:There's a surprise... on Apple iPod on Linux Project · · Score: 1
    Maybe I'm taking the bait here, but the irony of this post from someone who's sig links to a slashdot recycler is simply too much.

    Oh, and theftPod isn't a very creative put-down. At least have it sound like "i" or rhyme or something. How bout hiestPod, pilferPod, plunderPod, or shanghaiPod?

    They should institude a -2 for not just trolls, but for really bad trolls.

    By the way, very impressive consistency.

  10. Knock, knock, knock! on US Army to Try Out New, Anime-based Uniforms · · Score: 2, Funny
    I saw some recent footage of a new integrated networking system for mobile soldiers. All these soldiers are checking their PDAs and typing into their wristpad.

    The real problem being when they are sneaking stealthily by the enemy and someone's AIM Buddy Alert goes off.

  11. Yeah, I might believe... on Hardware Review: Rio Receiver · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    If it turns out you get a Dell, I'd believe it.

  12. Are you there, God? on Using Tables as Speakers · · Score: 1

    Finally, I can trick people into thinking God caught them masturbating without going to the trouble of installing a receiver in their braces!

  13. Lower Your Standards. on Using Tables as Speakers · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, that's a high brow prank. I was thinking more along the lines of putting one under someone's desk and then just transitting desk-rattling farts every so often.

  14. got their emails, huh? on Mapping The CIA Nonclassified Network · · Score: 2, Funny
    Matta's study also uncovered the names, e-mail addresses and telephone numbers of more than three dozen CIA network administrators and other officials.

    I hope those guys like pr0n and are looking for a good mortgage rate.

  15. Speakers from the (De)crypt on Chained Melodies · · Score: 1
    "For example, instead of sending analog signals to your speakers, you send an encrypted stream of digital data, and the decryption is done in a sealed module built right into the speaker,"

    Might make you a bit steamed if you had just invested in some of these (at $65,000) and then some congressional act required all recievers to send encrypted audio.

  16. Re:Just to annoy the RIAA on Server Naming Conventions? · · Score: 1
    more fun is when segments crash..."Britney an J-Lo are going down on us again."

    Now if we could just figure out a way to have one go down on the other and let us watch.

    Maybe Norton Speed Disk?

  17. Re:I Love (Bug) the Air Force! on Air Force Warns Microsoft/Others to Tighten Security · · Score: 1

    Ouch. Busted. +1 Calling Me Out.

  18. I Love (Bug) the Air Force! on Air Force Warns Microsoft/Others to Tighten Security · · Score: 1
    Two years ago, the Love Bug virus "ran rampant" through the Air Force's e-mail system, which runs on Microsoft Exchange software, says Michael Erbschloe, vice president of research at Computer Economics and author of two books on computer security.

    Hence the Army's move 2 years ago to a more secure system. Who's the jarhead now?

    (is there a '-1 Mactroll' option?)

  19. Skewed percentages and Problems on The Widening Tech-Savvy Gap · · Score: 1
    Almost half -- 47 percent -- say the first thing they do when a piece of equipment fails is try to repair it. Another 21 percent have a friend or family member look at it.

    I see some major problems with this study, the first being that, apparently, only 21% of their respondants were female.

  20. Specific Classes on College Students Are Buying More, Warez-ing Less · · Score: 1
    My college offered Sexual Education classes. Where is that gonna be relevant?!

    In PE you could take a tennis class. How the hell are you gonna teach someone how to be fit for life, if you let them take one single sport?!

    Guess what? Flash is fun. I took a Flash course at an Art College night class. It was fun. If they had it at my University, I would have taken it for fun. And as an Art and Design major, I would have been able to use that class and the tools it taught me (using timelines, logically planning before beginning, being aware of file sizes and optimization, ...) elsewhere in school and in my career so far. When you learn an app, you don't just learn about that app.

    University isn't about being so general you cover all the bases and never learn any real skills. That's what Business major's are for.

  21. Hacking iPod communications? on Hack Turns iPod into PDA · · Score: 1, Funny
    Wow, just imagine a beowolf cluster of these...

    Oh, Jeeze. I'm so very, very sorry...

  22. Don't worry about the broken bones on Slippery Slime Developed to Control Crowds · · Score: 1

    No need to worry about the hospital bills, all the protesters already demonstrated for socialized healthcare.

  23. Fool me once... on When Good Ebay'ers Go Bad · · Score: 5, Funny
    Fool me once, shame on you.

    Fool me twice, shame on me.

    Pay 700 bucks for four glass mice, kill me now and spare the gene pool.

  24. Jaws Quote as a stupid joke attempt... on Will Barry White Songs Help Sharks Get Down? · · Score: 1

    Michael!!! Did you hear your father, out of the water NOW!!!!

  25. Mine Smashers at Costco?! on Robot Mine Smasher · · Score: 1

    Hell yeah! I guess I'll have to get the big Orange cart for that one.