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User: mfh

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Comments · 2,006

  1. Oh I know! on Commerce Department Pushing For New "Copyright Czar" · · Score: 1

    750,000 jobs lost is the next logical step from 700,000 bailout required.

  2. Aging Technology? lolwut? on Ultrasound Machine Ages Wine · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    Quick!! Point that thing at Palin. If we age her, maybe she'll develop some wisdom!!

    Do NOT point that at McCain.

  3. LOL nice on Skype Messages Monitored In China · · Score: 1

    I won't end the friendship yet, digitus (just in case you survive the beating) but ... this article would be news if the title read, "Skype *not* monitored in China!" because China is a dictatorship and therefore you need to expect they monitor everything that everyone is doing to ensure it's in line with the dictator's wishes. What kind of dictatorship would it be if they didn't monitor everyone? It'd be a chaotic dictatorship! It helps to know what's going on when scheduling executions and public beatings. I would be far more concerned if these types of occurrences were arbitrary!

  4. Eureka! on Do We Live In a Giant Cosmic Bubble? · · Score: 1

    Someone has finally explained Spooky Action... we are trapped in a void of low-density matter! Like Newton, on that fateful day, when the obvious idea of gravity suddenly cracked his noggin -- I think this is an obvious explanation to pretty much everything that has been perplexing science geeks for so long. Like Newton, we must make apple pie out of this painful discovery!

    Now the important question is, what can we do with this new knowledge other than escape the bubble to realize our true freedom? Not much. Escape is the only answer! Oh and when we escape, it's important to only slightly crack the bubble, not shatter it, or the universe will collapse. (FYI)

  5. Dear Constituent (a letter from your government) on US House Limits Constituent Emails · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Dear Constituent,

    We know you are a human being, or at least you believe that matters to us, but sadly, our mailboxes are too small and cannot possibly handle the number of emails you people wish to send. We lose them anyway and we never read them so why bother. Also, when we built the mailboxes, we only anticipated hearing from 0.001% of our constituents, not this whopping 1.02% contact ratio we're experiencing!

    We have assessed the situation and believe that you fall under one of the following categories:

    1. You are whining about something that we did to hurt your feelings.
    2. You want us to do something.
    3. You have a complaint.

    Here are some generic responses to help you cope:

    Category #1: (You are whining about something that hurt your feelings.)
    Sorry. Vote for me in 2008!

    Category #2: (You want us to do something.)
    We are already doing everything we can. KTHXBYE. Vote for me in 2008!

    Category #3: (You have a complaint.)
    GTFO. Canada is that way -------> Vote for me in 2008!

    Therefore, while we will gladly take your taxes from you, we have some bad news. We can't hear you. La la la la la la la la what? can't hear you! la la la la la...

    No no... that's all you have to say.

    Besides, we'll do whatever we want to anyway.

    Vote for me in 2008!

    Kind Regards,
    Your Douchebag Government

  6. Re:as i've said before on "Back Door" Cheating Scandal Rocks Online Poker · · Score: 3, Funny

    In physical poker, it's a lot easier to see when the house is cheating.

    Because they are always cheating? :)

  7. 50/50 on Researchers Identify Wi-Fi Dead Zones Cheaply · · Score: 5, Interesting

    This is one of those technologies that is a kick in the pants and a pat on the back. It'd be nice not to have to find the weak spots (and work around them), but on the other hand, it would be nicer if dead zones were impossible by default. That's not possible with Wifi in its current iteration, due to the power consumption required and the spectrum assignment operational constraints being non-uniform globally.

    Even with almost sci-fi advances in wireless data transmissions, we still have a long way to go before we can get steady signals nearly anywhere and yet fluid pockets of global communication will be necessary, in a world market that could collapse, eventually.

  8. FTA: On Innovators on The Facts & Fiction of Bandwidth Caps · · Score: 2, Insightful

    FTA:

    A number of new and emerging technologies, many aimed at enhancing the way the Internet is used, promise to change how companies innovate, managers make decisions, and businesses lower costs or realize new business opportunities. Carriers will need to proactively prepare for these trends rather than react to them.

    Comcast made promises and failed to deliver, and that's the key issue. Comcast's reactionary (and secretive) policies are based on a scary dollar figure, and their fear of exponential increases in overhead due to customers overusing/abusing their networks with massive transfers that were not originally expected by Comcast management. Comcast is as a result of poor planning, failing to deliver on promises made to customers.

    Personally I don't think the technology is there yet. We need to come up with a technology that can handle massive downloads without the huge overhead to companies. Reduce the cost, and increase the data that can be transfered without having the huge expense of wires... maybe there is a wireless technology of some kind around the corner that can make use of teleportation to help this situation get better? Once the wires and solid-infrastructure is under control, it's much easier to reduce costs and therefore provide service to a wider customer base, without having to clamp the valves on customers who simply want to download more information than could be anticipated.

  9. Acquisitions Leading Towards 3d on Google Lively To Be an Online Gaming Platform · · Score: 5, Informative

    Valve denied it was being purchased by Google, but it leads me to believe that the opposite may be true. Time will tell.

  10. Re:Another trick: reduce the time pressure issue on California Sec. of State Wants Open Source E-Voting Systems · · Score: 2, Interesting

    If swift-boat politics were actually fueled by problem solving -- you would be on to something here! Sadly, it's about disaster capitalism... and therefore it's better when the voting machines have wide open security holes. But nice try!

  11. Not Really on LHC Offline Until April 2009 (Or Longer) · · Score: 1

    They are already here, and in positions of power around the world. Their reinforcements, however, will be late.

  12. Meet With Congress on China To Run Out of IPv4 Addresses In 830 Days · · Score: 5, Funny

    To get a quick infusion of 700 billion IP4 addresses -- NOW!

  13. Re:Schools and Office Politics on Judge Munley is So Out of My Top 8 · · Score: 1

    But the corporate scenario equivalent is not public mockery it's whistleblowing.

    I think if the student had a case, she's impeded it. But still I think that the teacher should be reviewed and monitored in the future. If he turns out to be a pedophile, we'll read about it here!

  14. Schools and Office Politics on Judge Munley is So Out of My Top 8 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The school's responsibility is to prepare you for life after you are finished school. Office politics play a huge role in that kind of development, because you cannot escape office politics -- they permiate every infrsstructure, at every level. It's a large part of the game and there is no getting around it, sorry.

    Furthermore, I can guarantee that if you made fun of your boss as being a sex addict who hits on employees, you would be fired immediately. You might have a case for wrongful dismissal, but your lawyer would tell you to drop it and get another job (because even if the boss hit on you there are better options than public mockery -- judges tend to dislike that).

  15. Will Not Work on Postfix's Creator Outlines Spam Solution · · Score: 4, Funny

    Your post advocates a

    (x) technical (x) legislative (x) market-based ( ) vigilante

    approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea, and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state before a bad federal law was passed.)

    (x) Spammers can easily use it to harvest email addresses
    ( ) Mailing lists and other legitimate email uses would be affected
    (x) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money
    (x) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
    ( ) It will stop spam for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
    ( ) Users of email will not put up with it
    (x) Microsoft will not put up with it
    (x) The police will not put up with it
    (x) Requires too much cooperation from spammers
    (x) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
    (x) Many email users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers
    ( ) Spammers don't care about invalid addresses in their lists
    (x) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business

    Specifically, your plan fails to account for

    (x) Laws expressly prohibiting it
    (x) Lack of centrally controlling authority for email
    ( ) Open relays in foreign countries
    ( ) Ease of searching tiny alphanumeric address space of all email addresses
    (x) Asshats
    (x) Jurisdictional problems
    ( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes
    ( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money
    ( ) Huge existing software investment in SMTP
    ( ) Susceptibility of protocols other than SMTP to attack
    (x) Willingness of users to install OS patches received by email
    (x) Armies of worm riddled broadband-connected Windows boxes
    (x) Eternal arms race involved in all filtering approaches
    (x) Extreme profitability of spam
    (x) Joe jobs and/or identity theft
    (x) Technically illiterate politicians
    ( ) Extreme stupidity on the part of people who do business with spammers
    (x) Dishonesty on the part of spammers themselves
    (x) Bandwidth costs that are unaffected by client filtering
    (x) Outlook

    and the following philosophical objections may also apply:

    (x) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever
    been shown practical
    ( ) Any scheme based on opt-out is unacceptable
    ( ) SMTP headers should not be the subject of legislation
    (x) Blacklists suck
    (x) Whitelists suck
    (x) We should be able to talk about Viagra without being censored
    ( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or credit card fraud
    ( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public networks
    (x) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
    ( ) Sending email should be free
    (x) Why should we have to trust you and your servers?
    ( ) Incompatiblity with open source or open source licenses
    (x) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
    ( ) Temporary/one-time email addresses are cumbersome
    (x) I don't want the government reading my email
    ( ) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough

    Furthermore, this is what I think about you:

    (x) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
    (x) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
    ( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your
    house down!

  16. Re:Space Elevator Music on Japanese Begin Working On Space Elevator · · Score: 2, Funny

    David Hasselhoff elevator music is Germany, not Japan. Japanese elevators have a cute young woman in a tight uniform who screeches the floor numbers in an inhumanly high voice. Given that the space elevator only has two floors, it doesn't seem like a bad deal.

    Yes, you are correct, but I accounted for the time it will take to build the thing and by then he becomes a huge star in Japan. Oh crap, I just corrupted the time-line!!!

  17. Re:Space Elevator Music on Japanese Begin Working On Space Elevator · · Score: 1

    This is why my preferences are set to view low UID posters at higher point value than others. It is their keen insight from years in the tech arena that keeps me coming back. I am going to go remove that preference now.

    Actually a better approach would be to change your settings to posts marked with Funny mods, since you apparently do not want jokes to negatively impact your sense of humor.

    Cue "he bought it on Ebay" responses.

  18. Space Elevator Music on Japanese Begin Working On Space Elevator · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just imagine fourteen hours of Japanese elevator music. I couldn't stand that much symphonic David Hasselhoff. And when you get to space and arrive at the Japanese Sky Deck, you can eat very expensive steak, while being entertained by a Max Headroom stylized recreation of David Hasselhoff, and groped by Hentai-motivated space-whores.

  19. Spam Can Bypass God on Feds Tighten DNS Security On .Gov · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes, but with this handy +4 magic marker, spammers can bypass the multi-trillion dollar infrastructure and pwn your inbox.

  20. Savory Deviate Delight on Today Is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! · · Score: 1

    Yarrrrrr! Snack lasts 30 minutes. You also have a slight chance of becoming a ninja.

  21. Re:Obviously on EFF, Public Knowledge Sue Over Secret IP Pact · · Score: 2, Funny

    The old people have a sense of entitlement, and they lack the sense of interconnection that would preclude them from sacrificing our future on the alter of their comfortable old age.

    Malachai: What has the Lord commanded?

    Isaac: In the dream the Lord did come to me, and he was a shape, it was He Who Walks Behind the Rows, and I did fall on my knees in terror, and hide my eyes lest the fearfulness of his face strike me dead! He told me all that has since happened, he said, "Joseph has taken his things and fled this happy place because the worship of me is no more upon him, so take you his life and spill his blood! Like water upon the earth, but let not the flesh pollute the corn, cast him instead upon the road!

    Malachai: And so it was done, Joseph the betrayer was cast out!

  22. Re:That's Easy--They're ALWAYS Spinning on Software Spots Spin In Political Speeches · · Score: 1

    If the politions tell the truth

    No offense, but I stopped reading at this point. They will never be honest, and that is a fact, Jack. Assume every politician is lying. Figure out the lies they can't get out of, worst case scenario (and you'll realize they can get out of anything with proper strategic planning and enough money).

    As for the point about making an informed decision -- that made me laugh louder. The day people can make an informed decision in politics is the day it's Jesus vs. Satan and they are in full costume. Even then, Satan wins!

  23. Show us the money! on EFF, Public Knowledge Sue Over Secret IP Pact · · Score: 5, Informative

    Why hide it if it's beneficial to the elected people? Isn't that your argument for trampling our rights, each and every time? If you have nothing to hide...

  24. Re:That's Easy--They're ALWAYS Spinning on Software Spots Spin In Political Speeches · · Score: 1

    If we look at this as a measurement of how much someone believes what they are saying, there is a missing element. McCain is much more experienced at politics than Obama -- 25 years more. Republicans all believe their dogma (fervently), and therefore the more that logic and truth is revealed to oppose their dogma, the greater they push back.

  25. Like it or Not on Peru To Be First To Put Windows On OLPC Laptop · · Score: 1

    The bulk of society has already adopted Windows. And the bulk of society is lazy -- far too lazy (or afraid) to change the OS that you buy the computer with to even a better OS.

    The way to get people to adopt open source is to make it the easiest option to access. Currently, Open Source is always taking second place in terms of being the easiest to access because Microsoft cuts the line and puts their OS on every retail computer.

    Most of Peru's computer users likely use Windows, so I can't see a problem with this.