It's great that people finally learn how to use Linux. The OS is so hard to learn that it's taken these people all the 3 years Linux has been around to just get the basics.
You who think/. shouldn't be posting stories like this because its MPAA related (insert random bullshit) - how the hell does it come that there's twice as many comments here that there's after the average "ooh new lunix kernel?" story?
Movie studios tout first DVD bust in U.S. Sun Mar 24,12:37 AM ET John Borland CNET News.com
A rogue DVD-burning lab was shut down by law enforcement in New York on Friday, the first time that's happened in the United States, according to the movie studios' trade association.
The Motion Picture Association of America said it helped the New York police department shut down an unlicensed DVD-copying operation based out of a Bronx apartment.
These types of raids and closures have become increasingly common in the past several years when it comes to videocassettes and illegally distributed CDs. But this was the first such raid on a DVD-production operation in the United States, the MPAA said.
"Pirates seek to profit off the enormous popularity of DVDs by using the latest in technology to illegally manufacture DVD copies of Hollywood films, and again dupe consumers into purchasing a wholly inferior product," MPAA Chief Executive Jack Valenti said in a statement. "We are grateful to the NYPD for their outstanding police work."
The movie industry has ratcheted up the pace of its complaints about online video piracy in recent months, as analysts report that hundreds of thousands of copies of feature films are traded or downloaded every day using file-swapping applications or other means.
But much of the industry's efforts are still dedicated to physical piracy. The MPAA estimates that the industry loses about $3 billion to non-Internet piracy per year. Much of that has come in the form of illegally copied videos, DVDs and video discs in Asia.
The New York raid caught a relatively small fish in its net. Police said they confiscated two computer towers, 15 DVD burners, 1,208 copies of pirate DVDs and about $5,200 in cash. Only one person was arrested.
While many pirate operations do operate on this limited scale, authorities have shut down some many times larger. One of the largest found last year was in England, where police closed a lab containing more than 1,100 videocassette recorders making duplicate copies of movies.
Some of the movies found haven't yet been released to video, including "The Lord of the Rings," "Training Day" and "Ali."
Heyo! Doihh, COOL!
Firss, interduckions all round. Gawlly!My name is [remobid to proteck dolphinlobehs], musician, pre-bet student 'n Delphinic Zoophile. Peoble are often wondehigg dgust what de hell zoophilia is. Zoophilia is best describid as a lobe of animals so intimate dat de pehson (and de animal) inbolbid habe no obbuhjeckions t' expressigg deir affeckion f' each odeh in the, ERRRR, sexual fashion, GEEEHEEHEEE.Dis is not t' be confusid wid besshulity, whehe a pehson f'ceful mates an animal, widout deir consent, uh, 'n wid no mutual feeliggs whatsoebeh. Dis is somedigg dat I wudd nebeh do t' a dolphin, siss I lobe dem dear, 'n treat dem wid the, ERRRR, same repeck dat an honest husband wudd habe f' his wife 'n children.
Dolphins are behy intelligent, uh, high emoshunal 'n expressibe cratures. Gawlly!Dey endgoy the, errr, c'pany of humans, duuhhhh, 'n if a relashunship debelops betweebuhn a human 'n a dolphin, as has happenid wid me, uh uh uh, dey will, on occashun, wish t' express deir trust 'n affeckion f' you in de most direck way; drough matigg, or sex-play. Duh, you see, uh uh uh, dolphins do not use sex pure f' procratibe reasons. Dey use it as a way of strengdenigg de bonds betweebuhn pod mates (modehs 'n calbes inclubed), 'n also f' fun. Dolphins 'n humans share dis common trait wid behy few odeh animals, duuhhhh, so somebimes it makes me wondeh when peoble continue t' ask me "Duh, how DO you mate wid a dolphin, duh...uh...?". Easy. Let the, uhhh, dolphin tell you! Doihh, COOL!
Webuhll, hehe is a seleckion of kesshuns peoble habe askid me, uh uh uh, so I hope dis sheds some lite on the, ERRRR, subbuhjeck...
Q1) Duh, how do I tell a male dolphin from a female one, duh...uh...?
A1) Probab de most common kesshun I get asked. Dehe are 2 ways of detehminigg the, ERRRR, sex of a dolphin. De most obbious way is t' take a peek undeh de peduncle (de long part of de body conneckid to the, duh uhh, tail flukes). Uhhh....On the, uhhh, dolphin's bel, direck opposite the, uhhh, dorsal fin, will be de umbehilicus, duuhhhh, or de nabel of the, uhhh, dolphin, GEEEHEEHEEE.Lookigg furdeh down toerds the, duh uhh, tail, you start t' see the, uhhh, diffehesss.
Male dolphins habe two seprit slits f' de penis (de urogenital openigg) 'n de anus. Dese are sepritd by a brije of skin. De male's urogenital openigg is genehal locatid furdeh up de bel, toerds de nabel.
Females, duuhhhh, on de odeh fin, habe one continuous largeh slit, uh, de anus locatid at the, uh, end of it. Gawlly!On eideh side of de genital slit, uh, you will find two smalleh slits; dese are de mamm slits, duuhhhh, whehe de nipbles of the, uhhh, dolphin are kept f' feedigg the, errr, calbes. De slit is also locatid closeh t' the, duh uhh, tail stock of the, uhhh, dolphin.
De odeh way t' detehmine the, ERRRR, sex of a dolphin, if you can't reach deir bel, is t' look at deir mellon, or gord. Lee me lone!De males tend t' habe a fatteh, roundeh mellon, while the, uh uh uh, females are more sleek 'n streamlined.
Q2) Duh, how do I know if a dolphin want t' habe sex, duh...uh...?
A2) Dehe are barous ways a dolphin has of showigg dat she or he is innerestid in sex.
Males are probab the, uh, easiest t' deteck. Uhhh....Dey will swimb around, uh uh uh uh, sportigg an eheckion (anywhehe betweebuhn 10 t' 14 inches long f' a Bottle-nose), 'n will habe no bones bou' swimmigg up t' you 'n placigg deir membeh widin reach of your hand. If you are in the, uh, the wateh, dey may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. Duh.(Dolphin males habe a prehensile penis. Dey can wrap it around obbuhjecks, duuhhhh, 'n carry dem as such.) Deir bel will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitemin.
Females can be alittle hardeh. De most obbious way a female dolphin has of displayigg heh sexual innerest is de pink-bel effeck. Deir genitals become behy pink 'n swollen, makigg de genital region behy prominent. Dey may be restless, duuhhhh, or dey may be ackigg as normal. If you are out of the, uh, the wateh, dey may swimb up t' you 'n roll bel up, exposigg demselbes t' you, coubled wid pelbic drusts. If you are in the, uh, the wateh, dey may press deir genitals up against yours, duuhhhh, niggle your figgehs, duuhhhh, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelbic drusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressigg sexual readiness baries, duuhhhh, so de longeh you know the, uhhh, dolphin, de betteh you will deteck when dey are sexual ackibe.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin want t' mate wid me, duh...uh...?
A3) Accept, uh, if posstiggle! Doihh, COOL! I will go drough the, ERRRR, steps inbolbid wid males 'n females...
De Male:
When a male dolphin is innerestid in you, bou' de on digg you can do, if you are male, uh uh uh, is t' masturbate him. (Unf'tunate, I cannot speak f' the, uh uh uh, female of de human species... it seems women dgust don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say f' sure if it is safe t' mate wid dem, GEEEHEEHEEE.I wudd suspeck not, uh, due t' a dolphins size, uh uh uh, but den again, I cannot say f' a woman.)
WARNING! Doihh, COOL! In the, errr, considehashuns of safety, you shudd NEBER let a male dolphin attempp anal sex wid you. Um uh.De Bottle-nose dolphin membeh is around 12 inches, duuhhhh, behy muscular, 'n the, duh uhh, thrustigg 'n the, uh uh uh, force of edgaculashun (A male can come as far as 14 feet) wudd cuz sehious innernal indguries, duuhhhh, resultigg in pehitonitus 'n posstiggle dead. Unless you are de masochistic type, uh uh uh, you will habe a hard time explainigg your predicamin t' the, uhhh, doctors in the, uh, emehgency erd....
A male dolphin's membeh is rough S-shaped, uh uh uh uh, tapehid at the, uh, end. Lee me lone!If you are in the, uh, the wateh wid dem, it is best t' support the, uhhh, dolphin on his side, uh uh uh, dgust undeh the, uh, the wateh, wid one hand, uh uh uh uh, 'n hanbble him wid de odeh. Male dolphins, duuhhhh, I find, uh uh uh uh, tend t' prefeh de base of de penis t' be gent massagid and skeezed, uh uh uh uh, as webuhll as gent rubbid along it's lengd. GEE danks.It feels behy much like de rest of the, uhhh, dolphin (ie. smood 'n rubbehy t' the, duh uhh, touch, but firmeh). Lee me lone!It doesn't take long f' de male t' edgaculate, uh uh uh, around 40 seconbs t' a minoot, 'n dis is usual acc'paniid by eideh shubbehigg dgust prior t' edgaculatigg, 'n drustigg 'n tail-archigg durigg edgaculashun. De f'ce of edgaculashun can be powebuhrful at times, duuhhhh, so it is best t' keep your face out of de line of fire, uh uh uh, or keep his membeh undehwateh. Duh, you can attempp to lick 'n suck on the, uh, end of it while masturbatigg as webuhll, but be warned, uh uh uh uh, do not try t' gibe full droat, uh, 'n get de hell out of the, uh, the way bef'e he edgaculates! Huh huh! A male dolphin cudd snap your neck in a accidental drust, uh, 'n dat wudd be the, uh, end of dat relashunship.
De Female:
Webuhll, the, uh uh uh, females are again alittle trickieh. GEE danks.Dehe are two cusses of ackion wid a female fin: Masturbashun, or matigg.
Masturbashun: Female dolphins, duuhhhh, oss dey show innerest in you, can be supportid in much the, ERRRR, same way as de male, uh uh uh, one hand undeh the, uh uh uh, fin, supportigg heh, de odeh doigg the, ERRRR, stimulatigg. De clitoris of the, uh uh uh, female is locatid at the, duh uhh, top of de genital slit, uh, 'n is a prominent lump when eheck. Duh, you can rub dis wid your figgeh tips, duuhhhh, or lick 'n suck it, uh, but wid de oral aspeck, you mite end up wid a bruisid nose as dey drust up into you. Duh, you can slide your hand gent into deir genital openigg, 'n feel around inside, uh uh uh, rubbigg gent. Dey feel warm 'n muscular inside, uh uh uh, deir labia like tough, skishy sponge when dey are excited. Don't be surprisid if dey start t' play wid your hand inside dem. Dey habe behy manipulatibe muscles, duuhhhh, 'n can use dem t' carry 'n manipulate obbuhjecks, duuhhhh, includigg your hand. (Dey can do diggs dat wudd make a regular human woman turn green wid enby.) Deir climax is coubled wid stiffenigg, shubbehigg, somebimes alot of drustigg, clinchigg of de baginal muscles, duuhhhh, 'n somebimes bocalizashun.
Matigg: Dis is hardeh. Obbious, beigg human, it is awkerd, but not iposstiggle t' mate in open wateh. It is easieh t' habe the, uhhh, dolphin in a shallow area (like the, ERRRR, shallows dgust off de beach) around 1 1/2 t' 2 feet deep. Duh.Dis is usual comffable enough f' bod the, uhhh, dolphin 'n you. Gent, you shudd roll the, uhhh, dolphin on heh side, uh uh uh, so she is lyigg belly-toerds you. Duh, you can prop yourself up on an elbow, uh uh uh uh uh uh, 'n lie bel to bel against heh. Duh, you may want t' use de odeh arm t' gent hold heh close, uh uh uh, 'n place the, duh uhh, tip of your membeh against heh genital slit, GEEEHEEHEEE.She will, if innerested, uh uh uh uh, arch heh body up against you, takigg you inside heh body. Dehe is usual a fair bit of wriggligg 'n shiffigg, usual to get comffable, bod outside 'n inside. Gawlly!Oss comffable, dough, females initiate a sehies of muscular baginal contrackions dat rub the, uh, entire lengd of your membeh. Dey may also drust rhydmical against you, so endgoy the, uh, expehiess while you can, siss you will rare last longeh dat a minoot or two. Dgust prior t' heh climaxigg, she will up the, ERRRR, speid of heh contrackions 'n drusts. It is innerestigg t' note dat the, duh uhh, times I habe matid wid females, duuhhhh, dey habe timid deir orgasm t' mine. DOIHH!Whedeh dey do dis conscious or not, uh, I do not know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, but it is a great feeligg t' habe two bodies shubbehigg against each odeh at de one time.
One digg t' note. Whedeh you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, uh uh uh, allays spend time wid dem affeherds. Cubble dem, rub dem, talk t' dem 'n most iportant, show dem you lobe dem. Dis is essenshul, as it helps t' strengden de bond betweebuhn you. Like a way of sayigg dat dis wun't not dgust a one-nite fligg. De dolphins abbreshate it, uh, 'n dey will want your c'pany more de next time you bisit dem.
Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins, duh...uh...? Can I gibe dem any, duh...uh...?
A4) I habe had no expehiesss wid Sexual Transmittid Diseases (STD's) wid dolphins, duuhhhh, so I cuddn't riteful say. I do know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, duh, howebeh, dat you can pass de Flu betweebuhn you, along wid odeh repiratory progglems. (I got a cold when a dolphin sneezid on me oss. Lee me lone!It clearid up affeh a weebuhk or so.) You can also pass some skin irritashuns on t' dem, if you hanbble dem wid chaffid or broke skin. Lee me lone!Dgust like wid a human, it is best t' BE CLEAN when you hanbble a dolphin. If you habe cuts on your hands, duuhhhh, aboid touchigg dem unless you wash wid a Betadine surgical scrub prior t' handligg. Dis is abailaggle from most Betehin 'n Surgical suppliehs. If you habe some disease of some sort, uh, aboid matigg, f' the, uhhh, dolphins sake, GEEEHEEHEEE.Dis is alittle known area, more so cuz Zoophilia is considehid illegal in many places (which I dink is a load of crud, uh uh uh uh, but de law's de law....)
Q5) Is deir any way I can inbite a dolphin t' be masturbated, duh...uh...?
A5) Webuhll, yuh. If dey are hangigg around, uh uh uh uh, but not lookigg particular excited, uh uh uh uh, but you are, uh uh uh, you can inbite dem wid dis way...
Male 'n Female dolphins can be inbitid by rolligg dem on deir sides, duuhhhh, again, but instead of goigg straite t' de genital slit, uh, rub along deir bellies, duuhhhh, betweebuhn deir peckoral fins, duuhhhh, along de nabel, 'n ebehy oss in a while, uh uh uh, obeh de genital slit. If dey are reponsibe, uh uh uh, dey will show the, ERRRR, signs of excitemin as describid earlieh, 'n you can proceid as usual. If, uh uh uh uh uh, duh, howebeh, dey are not reponsibe, uh uh uh, dey will swimb away, or turn back uprite. DO NOT f'ce de issue wid a dolphin! Doihh, COOL! Tryigg t' restrain dem will on break deir trust in you, 'n cudd cuz you sehious indgury. Duh.Pat dem, stroke dem 'n talk t' dem lobigg, but do not try anydigg else. It is best, uh, anyway, t' let the, uhhh, dolphin tell you when dey are ready. Duh.It is far more bleasant, uh, 'n more fulfilligg anyway. Um uh.And more special.
Q6) Whehe can I find a dolphin t' mate wid, duh...uh...?
A6) Akariums are a bad choice, uh uh uh, f' many reasons. Duh.Too public, the, uhhh, dolphins are not in deir natural habitat, uh, nite bisits are iposstiggle, etc etc... Uhhh....some may habe extehnal enclosures, duuhhhh, which may be accesstiggle, but dat is no guarantee. Best digg somebimes is t' find a beach or a cobe dat the, uhhh, dolphins frekent. It takes time t' debelop a relashunship wid a dolphin t' de poit whehe dey will let you mate wid dem (aldough some habe been as kick as 3 days t' acclimatize). Gawlly!Gainigg deir trust takes time, uh uh uh, 'n you neid to bisit frekent. Dis is iposstiggle f' some peoble, I undehstand, uh uh uh uh, but it is de best way. Somebimes you dgust neid to be in de rite place at de rite time. I habe been extreme lucky on two occashuns wid wild dolphins, duuhhhh, 'n my current mate is a dolphin who libes in de harbor of my resident city.
Webuhll, I hope dis is of use t' whoebeh is innerested. One final note. Duh, you shudd lobe a dolphin, not cuz of the, ERRRR, sexual relief dey can probide, uh uh uh, but cuz dey are a uke animal, one of the, uh uh uh, few wild animals dat seek the, errr, c'pany of man by deir own initiatibe. Dis is special. Do not abuse it.
This just sucks. It's so bad that I dunno what to say. I mean look at it - the stupidity and gayness it radiates and everybody just keeeps staring at it like the stupid Linux freaks they are. Go Microsoft!
Slashdot Mirror
...when you can use Microsoft Internet Explorer which is twice as good in every aspect?
It's so stiff! Yah!
heheh
yeah
It's great that people finally learn how to use Linux. The OS is so hard to learn that it's taken these people all the 3 years Linux has been around to just get the basics.
(Remember learning Windows in 2 hours?)
Yeah, poop on you too!
You who think /. shouldn't be posting stories like this because its MPAA related (insert random bullshit) - how the hell does it come that there's twice as many comments here that there's after the average "ooh new lunix kernel?" story?
Movie studios tout first DVD bust in U.S.
Sun Mar 24,12:37 AM ET
John Borland CNET News.com
A rogue DVD-burning lab was shut down by law enforcement in New York on Friday, the first time that's happened in the United States, according to the movie studios' trade association.
The Motion Picture Association of America said it helped the New York police department shut down an unlicensed DVD-copying operation based out of a Bronx apartment.
These types of raids and closures have become increasingly common in the past several years when it comes to videocassettes and illegally distributed CDs. But this was the first such raid on a DVD-production operation in the United States, the MPAA said.
"Pirates seek to profit off the enormous popularity of DVDs by using the latest in technology to illegally manufacture DVD copies of Hollywood films, and again dupe consumers into purchasing a wholly inferior product," MPAA Chief Executive Jack Valenti said in a statement. "We are grateful to the NYPD for their outstanding police work."
The movie industry has ratcheted up the pace of its complaints about online video piracy in recent months, as analysts report that hundreds of thousands of copies of feature films are traded or downloaded every day using file-swapping applications or other means.
But much of the industry's efforts are still dedicated to physical piracy. The MPAA estimates that the industry loses about $3 billion to non-Internet piracy per year. Much of that has come in the form of illegally copied videos, DVDs and video discs in Asia.
The New York raid caught a relatively small fish in its net. Police said they confiscated two computer towers, 15 DVD burners, 1,208 copies of pirate DVDs and about $5,200 in cash. Only one person was arrested.
While many pirate operations do operate on this limited scale, authorities have shut down some many times larger. One of the largest found last year was in England, where police closed a lab containing more than 1,100 videocassette recorders making duplicate copies of movies.
Some of the movies found haven't yet been released to video, including "The Lord of the Rings," "Training Day" and "Ali."
Stupidity Cannot Be Concealed
Heyo! Doihh, COOL! Firss, interduckions all round. Gawlly!My name is [remobid to proteck dolphinlobehs], musician, pre-bet student 'n Delphinic Zoophile. Peoble are often wondehigg dgust what de hell zoophilia is. Zoophilia is best describid as a lobe of animals so intimate dat de pehson (and de animal) inbolbid habe no obbuhjeckions t' expressigg deir affeckion f' each odeh in the, ERRRR, sexual fashion, GEEEHEEHEEE.Dis is not t' be confusid wid besshulity, whehe a pehson f'ceful mates an animal, widout deir consent, uh, 'n wid no mutual feeliggs whatsoebeh. Dis is somedigg dat I wudd nebeh do t' a dolphin, siss I lobe dem dear, 'n treat dem wid the, ERRRR, same repeck dat an honest husband wudd habe f' his wife 'n children. Dolphins are behy intelligent, uh, high emoshunal 'n expressibe cratures. Gawlly!Dey endgoy the, errr, c'pany of humans, duuhhhh, 'n if a relashunship debelops betweebuhn a human 'n a dolphin, as has happenid wid me, uh uh uh, dey will, on occashun, wish t' express deir trust 'n affeckion f' you in de most direck way; drough matigg, or sex-play. Duh, you see, uh uh uh, dolphins do not use sex pure f' procratibe reasons. Dey use it as a way of strengdenigg de bonds betweebuhn pod mates (modehs 'n calbes inclubed), 'n also f' fun. Dolphins 'n humans share dis common trait wid behy few odeh animals, duuhhhh, so somebimes it makes me wondeh when peoble continue t' ask me "Duh, how DO you mate wid a dolphin, duh...uh...?". Easy. Let the, uhhh, dolphin tell you! Doihh, COOL! Webuhll, hehe is a seleckion of kesshuns peoble habe askid me, uh uh uh, so I hope dis sheds some lite on the, ERRRR, subbuhjeck... Q1) Duh, how do I tell a male dolphin from a female one, duh...uh...? A1) Probab de most common kesshun I get asked. Dehe are 2 ways of detehminigg the, ERRRR, sex of a dolphin. De most obbious way is t' take a peek undeh de peduncle (de long part of de body conneckid to the, duh uhh, tail flukes). Uhhh....On the, uhhh, dolphin's bel, direck opposite the, uhhh, dorsal fin, will be de umbehilicus, duuhhhh, or de nabel of the, uhhh, dolphin, GEEEHEEHEEE.Lookigg furdeh down toerds the, duh uhh, tail, you start t' see the, uhhh, diffehesss. Male dolphins habe two seprit slits f' de penis (de urogenital openigg) 'n de anus. Dese are sepritd by a brije of skin. De male's urogenital openigg is genehal locatid furdeh up de bel, toerds de nabel. Females, duuhhhh, on de odeh fin, habe one continuous largeh slit, uh, de anus locatid at the, uh, end of it. Gawlly!On eideh side of de genital slit, uh, you will find two smalleh slits; dese are de mamm slits, duuhhhh, whehe de nipbles of the, uhhh, dolphin are kept f' feedigg the, errr, calbes. De slit is also locatid closeh t' the, duh uhh, tail stock of the, uhhh, dolphin. De odeh way t' detehmine the, ERRRR, sex of a dolphin, if you can't reach deir bel, is t' look at deir mellon, or gord. Lee me lone!De males tend t' habe a fatteh, roundeh mellon, while the, uh uh uh, females are more sleek 'n streamlined. Q2) Duh, how do I know if a dolphin want t' habe sex, duh...uh...? A2) Dehe are barous ways a dolphin has of showigg dat she or he is innerestid in sex. Males are probab the, uh, easiest t' deteck. Uhhh....Dey will swimb around, uh uh uh uh, sportigg an eheckion (anywhehe betweebuhn 10 t' 14 inches long f' a Bottle-nose), 'n will habe no bones bou' swimmigg up t' you 'n placigg deir membeh widin reach of your hand. If you are in the, uh, the wateh, dey may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. Duh.(Dolphin males habe a prehensile penis. Dey can wrap it around obbuhjecks, duuhhhh, 'n carry dem as such.) Deir bel will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitemin. Females can be alittle hardeh. De most obbious way a female dolphin has of displayigg heh sexual innerest is de pink-bel effeck. Deir genitals become behy pink 'n swollen, makigg de genital region behy prominent. Dey may be restless, duuhhhh, or dey may be ackigg as normal. If you are out of the, uh, the wateh, dey may swimb up t' you 'n roll bel up, exposigg demselbes t' you, coubled wid pelbic drusts. If you are in the, uh, the wateh, dey may press deir genitals up against yours, duuhhhh, niggle your figgehs, duuhhhh, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelbic drusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressigg sexual readiness baries, duuhhhh, so de longeh you know the, uhhh, dolphin, de betteh you will deteck when dey are sexual ackibe. Q3) What do I do if a dolphin want t' mate wid me, duh...uh...? A3) Accept, uh, if posstiggle! Doihh, COOL! I will go drough the, ERRRR, steps inbolbid wid males 'n females... De Male: When a male dolphin is innerestid in you, bou' de on digg you can do, if you are male, uh uh uh, is t' masturbate him. (Unf'tunate, I cannot speak f' the, uh uh uh, female of de human species... it seems women dgust don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say f' sure if it is safe t' mate wid dem, GEEEHEEHEEE.I wudd suspeck not, uh, due t' a dolphins size, uh uh uh, but den again, I cannot say f' a woman.) WARNING! Doihh, COOL! In the, errr, considehashuns of safety, you shudd NEBER let a male dolphin attempp anal sex wid you. Um uh.De Bottle-nose dolphin membeh is around 12 inches, duuhhhh, behy muscular, 'n the, duh uhh, thrustigg 'n the, uh uh uh, force of edgaculashun (A male can come as far as 14 feet) wudd cuz sehious innernal indguries, duuhhhh, resultigg in pehitonitus 'n posstiggle dead. Unless you are de masochistic type, uh uh uh, you will habe a hard time explainigg your predicamin t' the, uhhh, doctors in the, uh, emehgency erd.... A male dolphin's membeh is rough S-shaped, uh uh uh uh, tapehid at the, uh, end. Lee me lone!If you are in the, uh, the wateh wid dem, it is best t' support the, uhhh, dolphin on his side, uh uh uh, dgust undeh the, uh, the wateh, wid one hand, uh uh uh uh, 'n hanbble him wid de odeh. Male dolphins, duuhhhh, I find, uh uh uh uh, tend t' prefeh de base of de penis t' be gent massagid and skeezed, uh uh uh uh, as webuhll as gent rubbid along it's lengd. GEE danks.It feels behy much like de rest of the, uhhh, dolphin (ie. smood 'n rubbehy t' the, duh uhh, touch, but firmeh). Lee me lone!It doesn't take long f' de male t' edgaculate, uh uh uh, around 40 seconbs t' a minoot, 'n dis is usual acc'paniid by eideh shubbehigg dgust prior t' edgaculatigg, 'n drustigg 'n tail-archigg durigg edgaculashun. De f'ce of edgaculashun can be powebuhrful at times, duuhhhh, so it is best t' keep your face out of de line of fire, uh uh uh, or keep his membeh undehwateh. Duh, you can attempp to lick 'n suck on the, uh, end of it while masturbatigg as webuhll, but be warned, uh uh uh uh, do not try t' gibe full droat, uh, 'n get de hell out of the, uh, the way bef'e he edgaculates! Huh huh! A male dolphin cudd snap your neck in a accidental drust, uh, 'n dat wudd be the, uh, end of dat relashunship. De Female: Webuhll, the, uh uh uh, females are again alittle trickieh. GEE danks.Dehe are two cusses of ackion wid a female fin: Masturbashun, or matigg. Masturbashun: Female dolphins, duuhhhh, oss dey show innerest in you, can be supportid in much the, ERRRR, same way as de male, uh uh uh, one hand undeh the, uh uh uh, fin, supportigg heh, de odeh doigg the, ERRRR, stimulatigg. De clitoris of the, uh uh uh, female is locatid at the, duh uhh, top of de genital slit, uh, 'n is a prominent lump when eheck. Duh, you can rub dis wid your figgeh tips, duuhhhh, or lick 'n suck it, uh, but wid de oral aspeck, you mite end up wid a bruisid nose as dey drust up into you. Duh, you can slide your hand gent into deir genital openigg, 'n feel around inside, uh uh uh, rubbigg gent. Dey feel warm 'n muscular inside, uh uh uh, deir labia like tough, skishy sponge when dey are excited. Don't be surprisid if dey start t' play wid your hand inside dem. Dey habe behy manipulatibe muscles, duuhhhh, 'n can use dem t' carry 'n manipulate obbuhjecks, duuhhhh, includigg your hand. (Dey can do diggs dat wudd make a regular human woman turn green wid enby.) Deir climax is coubled wid stiffenigg, shubbehigg, somebimes alot of drustigg, clinchigg of de baginal muscles, duuhhhh, 'n somebimes bocalizashun. Matigg: Dis is hardeh. Obbious, beigg human, it is awkerd, but not iposstiggle t' mate in open wateh. It is easieh t' habe the, uhhh, dolphin in a shallow area (like the, ERRRR, shallows dgust off de beach) around 1 1/2 t' 2 feet deep. Duh.Dis is usual comffable enough f' bod the, uhhh, dolphin 'n you. Gent, you shudd roll the, uhhh, dolphin on heh side, uh uh uh, so she is lyigg belly-toerds you. Duh, you can prop yourself up on an elbow, uh uh uh uh uh uh, 'n lie bel to bel against heh. Duh, you may want t' use de odeh arm t' gent hold heh close, uh uh uh, 'n place the, duh uhh, tip of your membeh against heh genital slit, GEEEHEEHEEE.She will, if innerested, uh uh uh uh, arch heh body up against you, takigg you inside heh body. Dehe is usual a fair bit of wriggligg 'n shiffigg, usual to get comffable, bod outside 'n inside. Gawlly!Oss comffable, dough, females initiate a sehies of muscular baginal contrackions dat rub the, uh, entire lengd of your membeh. Dey may also drust rhydmical against you, so endgoy the, uh, expehiess while you can, siss you will rare last longeh dat a minoot or two. Dgust prior t' heh climaxigg, she will up the, ERRRR, speid of heh contrackions 'n drusts. It is innerestigg t' note dat the, duh uhh, times I habe matid wid females, duuhhhh, dey habe timid deir orgasm t' mine. DOIHH!Whedeh dey do dis conscious or not, uh, I do not know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, but it is a great feeligg t' habe two bodies shubbehigg against each odeh at de one time. One digg t' note. Whedeh you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, uh uh uh, allays spend time wid dem affeherds. Cubble dem, rub dem, talk t' dem 'n most iportant, show dem you lobe dem. Dis is essenshul, as it helps t' strengden de bond betweebuhn you. Like a way of sayigg dat dis wun't not dgust a one-nite fligg. De dolphins abbreshate it, uh, 'n dey will want your c'pany more de next time you bisit dem. Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins, duh...uh...? Can I gibe dem any, duh...uh...? A4) I habe had no expehiesss wid Sexual Transmittid Diseases (STD's) wid dolphins, duuhhhh, so I cuddn't riteful say. I do know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, duh, howebeh, dat you can pass de Flu betweebuhn you, along wid odeh repiratory progglems. (I got a cold when a dolphin sneezid on me oss. Lee me lone!It clearid up affeh a weebuhk or so.) You can also pass some skin irritashuns on t' dem, if you hanbble dem wid chaffid or broke skin. Lee me lone!Dgust like wid a human, it is best t' BE CLEAN when you hanbble a dolphin. If you habe cuts on your hands, duuhhhh, aboid touchigg dem unless you wash wid a Betadine surgical scrub prior t' handligg. Dis is abailaggle from most Betehin 'n Surgical suppliehs. If you habe some disease of some sort, uh, aboid matigg, f' the, uhhh, dolphins sake, GEEEHEEHEEE.Dis is alittle known area, more so cuz Zoophilia is considehid illegal in many places (which I dink is a load of crud, uh uh uh uh, but de law's de law....) Q5) Is deir any way I can inbite a dolphin t' be masturbated, duh...uh...? A5) Webuhll, yuh. If dey are hangigg around, uh uh uh uh, but not lookigg particular excited, uh uh uh uh, but you are, uh uh uh, you can inbite dem wid dis way... Male 'n Female dolphins can be inbitid by rolligg dem on deir sides, duuhhhh, again, but instead of goigg straite t' de genital slit, uh, rub along deir bellies, duuhhhh, betweebuhn deir peckoral fins, duuhhhh, along de nabel, 'n ebehy oss in a while, uh uh uh, obeh de genital slit. If dey are reponsibe, uh uh uh, dey will show the, ERRRR, signs of excitemin as describid earlieh, 'n you can proceid as usual. If, uh uh uh uh uh, duh, howebeh, dey are not reponsibe, uh uh uh, dey will swimb away, or turn back uprite. DO NOT f'ce de issue wid a dolphin! Doihh, COOL! Tryigg t' restrain dem will on break deir trust in you, 'n cudd cuz you sehious indgury. Duh.Pat dem, stroke dem 'n talk t' dem lobigg, but do not try anydigg else. It is best, uh, anyway, t' let the, uhhh, dolphin tell you when dey are ready. Duh.It is far more bleasant, uh, 'n more fulfilligg anyway. Um uh.And more special. Q6) Whehe can I find a dolphin t' mate wid, duh...uh...? A6) Akariums are a bad choice, uh uh uh, f' many reasons. Duh.Too public, the, uhhh, dolphins are not in deir natural habitat, uh, nite bisits are iposstiggle, etc etc... Uhhh....some may habe extehnal enclosures, duuhhhh, which may be accesstiggle, but dat is no guarantee. Best digg somebimes is t' find a beach or a cobe dat the, uhhh, dolphins frekent. It takes time t' debelop a relashunship wid a dolphin t' de poit whehe dey will let you mate wid dem (aldough some habe been as kick as 3 days t' acclimatize). Gawlly!Gainigg deir trust takes time, uh uh uh, 'n you neid to bisit frekent. Dis is iposstiggle f' some peoble, I undehstand, uh uh uh uh, but it is de best way. Somebimes you dgust neid to be in de rite place at de rite time. I habe been extreme lucky on two occashuns wid wild dolphins, duuhhhh, 'n my current mate is a dolphin who libes in de harbor of my resident city. Webuhll, I hope dis is of use t' whoebeh is innerested. One final note. Duh, you shudd lobe a dolphin, not cuz of the, ERRRR, sexual relief dey can probide, uh uh uh, but cuz dey are a uke animal, one of the, uh uh uh, few wild animals dat seek the, errr, c'pany of man by deir own initiatibe. Dis is special. Do not abuse it.
10. Slashdot sucks
You kamkra bitch gimme some karma now dmnit
You're a reatrd man.
Man Slashdot is so fucking lame nowadays!
Now THAT is a fucking stupid thing. LOL!
I'd much rather have a giude how you'd survive if you were on place in T2 (roflmao @ joke). That's "Terminater 2" if you don't get it LOL ;)
This just sucks. It's so bad that I dunno what to say. I mean look at it - the stupidity and gayness it radiates and everybody just keeeps staring at it like the stupid Linux freaks they are. Go Microsoft!
Micrsofto ownz that Linucz crap bitches! LOL
Hello, I am new here! Bye ass!